Your Mid-Day Thanksgiving Day Open Thread

So. Much. Sports. As it should be. College basketball is starting to get feisty as you’ve got Villanova/Iowa State, Florida/Xavier and Nebraska/Oklahoma going on. And for those that love a parade there’s that as well. I think there was some footy earlier as well. A veritable cornucopia for one’s eyes is what this day is. I do hope that everyone is getting along in their respective houses but if there is drama, you’ve an obligation to spill.

To The Game!

Giants/Cowboys:

-This is going to be horrible isn’t it? Gah, let’s just go over the bloody details.

-Dallas is 72-46-2 vs the Giants all-time and have won 10 of the last 11.

-The Cowboys lead the league in sacks with 40 and Dimes is the 3rd-most sacked qb with 30. Both those totals will rise today.

-Since Dak has returned from injury the O has been just humming along to the tune of 35.25 points per game.

-He’s made his bones recently by picking on backup cb’s so he should have a field day today.

-You see, the Giants lost cb1 Adoree Jackson and some other starters so struggling rookie Cor’Dale Flott and Nick McCloud may get the pleasure of having burn marks up and down their backsides. The latter guy must be a recent callup from the practice squad because I’ve not come across his name before.

-The 0-line has its issues as well with up to 4 starters not being able to play today. Micah Parsons might go nuts.

-Hopefully the run game will be effective because the pass-catchers available are Cager, the dreadful Golladay, some dude poached from the Bills (Hodgkins), ball-dropper David Sills and sorta good Darius Slayton.

-It’s going to hurt.

Enjoy the festivities.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Kick save and a beauty

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who had more plastic surgery, Mia Hamm or David Beckham?

litre_cola

Kenny Rogers.

Gumbygirl

Mickey Rourke.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh he’s a disaster.

Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

I’m stuffed!

Gumbygirl

Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, GBC, maple glazed carrots, gravy. The usual suspects. Tryptophan (sp?) is kicking in, I need a nap!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok I’ll bite: what’s GBC?

Mr. Ayo

Green beanie weenie casserole

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oooooooh

Yeah i like that stuff

Gumbygirl

And two glasses of wine. I am a well-known lightweight!

Gumbygirl

Sweetpea!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t understand the early Thanksgiving dinner thing. Our guests won’t even show up until 5 something DFO time.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh hey, thanks for the invite!

/hops on Acela

Gumbygirl

We’re going swimming soon, and I hate driving at night, so afternoon worked best for us.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Paul Giamatti out of money?

Horatio Cornblower

I think those commercials pay a lot of money for not a lot of work.

See also, Hamm, Jon

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They better pay well if you are gonna be a poor man’s Michael Caine Scrooge.

Doktor Zymm

BUT can they top their head while rubbing their tummy at the same time??

litre_cola

Only if you can lick your elbows.

Senor Weaselo

I still prefer the ol’ AND ONNNNNNE!

Doktor Zymm

HOLY SHIT!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The kids call it a what now?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am making your apple brandy cocktail for my neighbor, who is hosting poor old little orphan me for dinner. If it’s a hit I plan to take all the credit.

Dunstan

Remind me what the recipe is!

Horatio Cornblower

It’s a glass of brandy with an apple jammed into it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2 oz. apple brandy, 1/4 oz (each) of lemon juice, ginger liqueur, and cinnamon syrup.

Dunstan

Ah, thanks. That one’s from a while ago, I think. Haven’t done cinnamon syrup in a while.

Doktor Zymm

Which alcohol do I need to drink to cast some sort of spell where Zeke gets injured?

Horatio Cornblower

A wine from a region riddled with lead is probably your best bet.

litre_cola

May I suggest a Sake from Fukoshima?

Horatio Cornblower

That’ll turn him into Godzilla!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Isn’t the answer always absinthe?

King Hippo

Lead paint chips are an overlooked Thanksgiving side ,, ppl forget that

Mr. Ayo

Can’t believe he didn’t jump in one of the salvation army buckets.

Play the hits man!

ArmedandHammered

You give them to the family members you don’t like, cuts down the inheritance competition.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve seen these paycom commercials a dozen times and I still don’t understand how they are supposed to be an advertisement for their service.

Redshirt

With family in hotel for Thanksgiving. Please activate my suicide chip at your earliest convenience.

Horatio Cornblower

/Me, pushing button repeatedly

I dunno guys, he keeps posting

/garage door at Redshirt’s opening and closing repeatedly

Fronkenshteen

This is making me laugh like such a dumbass. Thank you.

ArmedandHammered

Doesn’t the hotel have a bar?

Doktor Zymm

Some asshole set the trigger to “Browns win Super Bowl” so I’m very sorry that you’re going to have to wait for a natural death

Horatio Cornblower

Cowboys are running the option, which is fitting since it comes from the same time as Jerry Jones’s position on racial equality.

BugEyedBoo

Wing-T and lynching bee.

Recovery Whiskey

Jihad Ward might not be allowed to visit for the World Cup

litre_cola

I mean, they do look real nice.

Mr. Ayo

Ham turnover? Great dessert.

— A Reid

King Hippo

I start 4 WR in this League, with 0.8 PPR. I am considering putting in Jakobi Meyers tonight, so I can keep Christian Watson in reserve (in case Deebo’s hammy keeps acting up). I also don’t love Watson’s machup against the Philly CBs, tough and physical.

Jefferson and Aiyuk are my no-doubt starters.

What y’all think?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The last time I listened to fantasy advice was when Don T suggested starting every Broncos player and I listened to him and Jeudy got hurt immediately and it cost me the game and if I outlive Don T I plan to vandalize his grave as a result. My point is: don’t trust anyone else to make that decision for you.

King Hippo

I may end up flipping a coin.

Mr. Ayo

Sounds like a good strategy Other Hippo.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think it’s criminal I haven’t started drinking yet.

Horatio Cornblower

What is wrong with you?

Horatio Cornblower

I’m 50-50 on either.

Also on my blood vs. alcohol ratio

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A lot

Doktor Zymm

That’s a nutty league, seems like it all hinges on cashews v. pistachios

Doktor Zymm

That guy sounds awfully seedy

ThePirateSloth

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BugEyedBoo

I remember the broadcast description of the turducken.

BugEyedBoo

And when do I get to sit back and watch someone else do the dishes after dinner?

Doktor Zymm

Is it still intentional grounding if you don’t believe in gravity??

King Hippo

asking for a Kyrie Irving

King Hippo

Gary Gnu is TRUE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Kicking on 4th and 32? Pussies.

Horatio Cornblower

4th and 32?

If Joe Judge were here we’d be looking at a QB sneak

King Hippo

yeah, I wondered re grounding.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

3rd and 22? Better give that man some whiskey.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(That man is scotchy)

King Hippo

Inshallah, it’s in teh NAME

Mr. Ayo

BLEEEEERGH!

King Hippo

Uhhhh, what did I tell ya downstream, scotchy? Over. Confident.

Horatio Cornblower

Mike McCarthy at his best.

BC Dick

Happy thanksgiving, Americans. It’s a great day to take off work in Canada and drink whisky at 9 am.
This weeks guttersnipe was awesome, right? I won’t bone it up next week. Promise.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re a tremendous slouch.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As i shared in the back office, you inspired me to go bowling last weekend for the first time since pre pandemic.

King Hippo

We just assumed you were elbows-deep in Jamaican snapper, good man!

Doktor Zymm

If I were going to get a dog, I would probably want one of these
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Fronkenshteen

Had one! That very same color mixture. He was being tied to a tree by a neighbor & basically ignored. I would bring him treats. Got curious enough to buy a book about Bassets, and learned almost instantly that tying this breed to a tree was tantamount to abuse. I offered to take him (they agreed. seems he had been chewing up remote controls), changed his name from Chester to Munson (after Thurman), and had helluva compadre for ten years. They are WILLFUL. Your couches, easy chairs and beds WILL be slept on. Those adorable ears are a pain in the ass to keep clean. And walking them might not be the best exercise for YOU, because they need to stop and sniff EVERYTHING (that’s what those ears are for. they extend to the ground to form a scent tunnel for their nose. SO COOL!!!!). And they are loud howl/barkers, so neighbors need to be cool with that. All that being said, though, I couldn’t recommend the Basset Hound highly enough. I miss mine every day. They’re good doggos🤓.

Doktor Zymm

Probably not a possibility for a few years, but everything you’ve said squares with my research. I’m totally down with the smart, independent, willful pet! Would love it if I could keep my Chicago place, but also get a place in the country and join a hunting club, and have a super snuggly Basset that also did its historical tracking job.

Apparently you can train them to sniff out truffles and they’re considered better than pigs since they don’t try to eat the truffles. Also, truffle creme brulee is a thing and my life will not be complete until I have some

Very happy you had a super doggo 🙂

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
BugEyedBoo

Get a shiba inu. A cat running on dog hardware.

Fronkenshteen

Had a guy once tell me you have to train them very young. “If you ain’t trained ‘em by 6 months old, all you got left is a big ole lap dawg” he said. Also, be prepared to get smiled at A LOT. Especially if you have him/her in the car with you. It’s the happiest byproduct of having a Basset Hound with you. People having the most rotten day in the worst traffic jam ever can’t help but smile when they glance sideways at your car and that beautiful, dopey Basset face is looking back at them. It recalibrates them, if just for a minute.

Doktor Zymm

Aw!

Gumbygirl

My cousins had one. She was a lovely sweet girl, but without a doubt, she was the fartiest dog ever!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lamb? I ate lamb yesterday, today is for turkey.

/shows self out

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times–no one buys another human a car/truck as a gift without their input unless they’re a complete psychopath or it’s a pure sugar baby relationship.

King Hippo

uh huh, you rite

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[makes and eats a sugar baby] – Coach Reid

Gumbygirl

My dad bought my mom a car for Christmas once. My sister just got her licence, and was driving it home from the dealership when a drunk neighbor centerpunched her. My mom confessed years later she was glad it was wrecked, because she hated the color!

Horatio Cornblower

The Cowboys are the home team and chose these uniforms? I see Ol’ Double J’s judgment hasn’t improved much since high school.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Come on, Vanilla Vick! Get me a lot of FF points.

King Hippo

He sure has the brains of Original Recipe Vick

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Doktor Zymm

Is the zero instead of the ‘O’ intentional when mentioning the depleted offensive line? I dig the subtle pessimism

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sort of puzzled about why I’m still rooting for the Cowboys when the owner just showed up in a photo in a mob trying to keep Black kids from going to school.

Other than that everyone associated with the NFL is at best a sociopath, and what else am I gonna on Thanksgiving.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As was pointed out in the earlier thread, it doesn’t tell us anything about him we don’t already know, and it’s quite possible that it was some of the supposed “dirt” that Dan Snyder was threatening to release.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s apparently been around since 2010, when Jones admitted it was him and described himself as “mischievous” and “scared” as opposed to “part of a potentially violent and definitely racist” mob.

Although I’m sure Snyder had something to do with this reminder.

King Hippo

Sean Payton looks to be a stress eater/follower of the Gospel According to Fatthew in semi-retirement.

King Hippo

The Non-Gendereds are still a Mike McCarthy team, and as such will be inconsistent. And today…overconfident in defeat.

TheRevanchist

Jonas bros are going to be on at the half?

I hope they get booed and turkey legs thrown at them.

Horatio Cornblower

One of them married Sansa Stark, so the North will remember that if it happens.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Another one of them married this woman, so he’s obviously not squandering the opportunities that his fame has opened up for him.

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Horatio Cornblower

Their music sucks, but I can’t fault their judgment

BugEyedBoo

The loudest concert I ever went to was a Jonas Brothers concert. And I was right in front of the speakers at a Ted Nugent concert (he was only partially an asshole back in 1978, don’t judge me). 10K+ tweeners screaming at the top of their lungs was like some kind of auditory riot control device. Your hearing would just start clipping, and the sound just turned into weird growling noises that were probably the cells in your ears being destroyed.

Senor Weaselo

The roast wasn’t half bad though!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Pig out…dig in…”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=q-KE9lvU810

Horatio Cornblower

Folks, I am stuffed.

/pours another beer anyway

King Hippo

you have to counter all that alcohol-absorbing food matter, is SCIENCE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The good news is that you don’t HAVE to watch it

litre_cola

Hippo sez it be mandatory.

King Hippo

Nope, for there is nae London/Kraut fixture early.

You should still feel like you let the League, Clubhouse, and YOURSELF down if you skip, tho

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But there’s the National Dog Show on NBC!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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