TGIF! So long Turkey week! (‘Merikan version) Let’s get to it so we can grab our beauty sleep before another early morning of lesser footy, world edition.

Survival – Personal Edition

Now that you’ve made left a disaster in your kitchen and forgot to clean up, you’ve been blessed with a cockroach infestation. Not to worry, I’ve got you covered here!

• First things first, accept that cockroaches will outlive us a species. Those assholes will probably survive the death heat of our planet. So, we’re not here to try annihilate them, because we’d have already done that if possible. Instead, we’re convincing them to re-home themselves from your filthy abode.
• Clean out the kitchen. Start by getting rid of all food scraps. This means scouring countertops, stove tops, table tops, and any other surface used for prepping or eating food.
• Now empty the kitchen. You don’t have to toss the food, of course, just need it out of the way. Empty the fridge, freezer, pantry, cupboards, drawers, dishwasher, microwave, toaster, and trash cans. Now scrub each one of those thoroughly. Pull out any specialized cooking devices and scrub those too and don’t forget the bottoms of these cooking devices.
• On to the living room(s) and den. Remove all cushions from chairs and sofas and vacuum them out. Move those items and thoroughly vacuum underneath them. Roll up and carpets and mop under them. Going forward, stop eating in the living room. You have a dining room for that purpose.
• Now take a lap around the living quarters and find all sources of water. Toilets, faucets, showers, bidets, etc. Make sure everything is dry around them and under them. Check for any leaks or seeping water under sink counters or around the base of the toilet. Dry thoroughly and get any water leaks fixed as soon as possible.
• Now for the part where you come face to face with our mutual enemy, if you haven’t already while cleaning. Time to go around and find their hiding spot. This will be in a dark place, cardboard boxes, magazine piles, or newspaper piles. Look, just take out your recycling on a regular schedule. Again, we don’t need to kill them yet, we’re getting to that part. But removing or exposing their hiding spot will get some of them to go elsewhere.
• Next throw a bunch of sticky traps around, especially in those hiding spots from the last step. Also put them under every sink. If they haven’t left, this will help you find out where they are mostly hanging out. Which will also tell you where they’re getting in. If you find an ingress, seal it up.
• For the remaining roaches, they’ve just signed their death warrant. Mix up some Borax, flour, and cocoa powder in 4:2:1 ratio respectively. Take that lovely concoction and sprinkle liberally where the cockroaches were most prevalent.

That should be that for cleaning up that infestation. Going forward, keep your place clean and dry and they won’t come back.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!