Thanks the Good Lord we shall have JV exhibitions and flexed NFL goodness next Saturday. But this weekend? WE SUFFER.
My brain also hurts, so this will be brief.
Yesterday was pretty great early, with noted sister-fucker Neymar putting the Boiz from Brasil on the board in Extra Time. But alas, they forgot to defend, conceding a late equalizer and death by pennos. I am sure Brasil will React Reasonably. Very, very reasonably. Ustase are through to the Final Four, where they will play the boring, Narrative-laden Argentines (who sucked out on pennos after blowing 2-nil lead to the Atomic Dustbinz). Just fucking go away, Messi. Your cult has no quarter here.
That leaves two MOAR Lesser Flacco Eight contests, Portugal (de Narrativo) against plucky Morocco at 10a EST, followed by the (hopefully) delightful Englen/France war at 2p. I will have it on mute while doing billable work. France is going to win it all, FWIW. Mbappe is just a level above everyone else. Maybe two.
There’s also Army/Navy at 3p on CBS, with neither service making a bowl. Who knows, the game could still be good. It’s random that way.
I will close with a Lesser 2026 proposal. Since FIFA is too much of a cuck to get on board with my Shithole Countries World Cup, they plan to expand to 48. Thankfully, the initial idea of 16 groups of 3 (and a 32-team knockout phase) is being re-considered. That would be awful for TV and for the competition.
Let’s start with the foundation – twelve 4-team groups. Non-negotiable. But how do you handle the knockout structure?
Why not be random as fuck? Eight teams get byes to the Round of Sixteen. Let’s say you only get a “clear pass” if you get 9 points from the Group Stage (I will hear arguments for 7). If there are fewer than 8 such sides (as will be the case) 0 you draw for it. Leaving heavy incentive to play for a win all the way through. The unlucky crew of 4 go to the play-in round, along with the 12 2nd-place sides. Random draw for the matchups, except you can’t play someone from your own group. The Sweet Sixteen is done completely by random draw.
It’s not perfect, but I think it’s better than any alternatives I’ve heard. Thoughts? Other ideas?
UConn is up by 36 on Long Island U with 15 minutes left in the 2nd half.
The line was -39.5. This is not a game that should have been played.
My goal this season is to not watch a single minute of basketballing. So far, so bueno.
I had years of that when UConn was wandering through the AAC desert. I think I went to one game on campus, and I live five minutes away. We got free tickets and sat two rows behind the bench. If there were 1,000 people at that game I’d have been surprised.
So much better now that they’re in the Big East. Now to get Syracuse back and Scotchy and I can really get after it.
I would like the uber-competitive ACC of the 1980s back, too. Glad at least the Big East is making baby steps.
So you’re saying that Long Island is getting…iced?
No. No I am not.
Hahahahahahahahafuck you!
/watching Cuse/G-Town
Who can forget Pat Ewing’s magical years playing for the Thunder and Magic at the end of his career? I’ll bet he wishes he could.
“Not me!”
-Trent Green
They can’t beat our Coqs!!
How about limiting the field to 40, and the lowest 16 do play-in games to make it into the groups?
When I was walking around Williamstadt yesterday there was a Brazilian behind me who I overhead saying re: World Cup “This is DISASTER!”
Of the 2 out of 3 ABC islands I’ve been on in the last two days, both are pretty disappointed with the Netherlands loss, but being on practically perfect Caribbean islands seems to be helping them get over it quickly.
Kinda disappointed Colombia isn’t a player this year, I’ve still never managed to watch an important WC game in the country of a competing team
You should ask 2pack about that. I mean, not about this year of course, but previous years.
I was in Italy for their ’82 (the group play while on leave getting married) and ’10 WC (all of it) winning efforts. It is pretty cool. Everyone is all in, everywhere there’s a party.
Roberto Bagio is a local in the town I live in. I see him from time to time, he was on the ’94 and’ 98 teams. Paulo Rossi was from Vicenza he was the ’82 WC winning team captain and a really great guy. He passed away just recently, there are a lot of posters around honoring him.
Oh, I remember Roberto Baggio well…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpbkRApq9qY
He never lived that down. It’s what he is remembered most for.
Yeah, he was built up so much as the savior of the team and then that happened.
Of course Alexei Lalas sympathizes with Ronaldo. Of course he does.
Now to the South Dakota State game!
At the Dykhouse!
Not sure how that’s pronounced but either way it sounds like a fun place.
I’ve ran the numbers on my World Cup 2026 scheduling scenario. If we play 5 games a day max, we can get the tourney in within 39 days start to finish.
I will be writing a post about this…
I say we just turn it into an FA Cup style event where every nation qualifies but the higher-ranking ones get byes. Early round knockout matches between the Faroe Islands and Luxembourg!
Great news. FOX has plenty of time now to pay tribute to Grant Wahl before the next fixture.
I’ll hold my breath.
What a brilliant win by Wrexham.
The other game is pretty cool too.
Ronaldo face >>>>>>>> any qb face
Atlas (Liouns) Shrugged.
600 minutes of stoppage time will be added to allow for the reading of John Galt’s speech
YES! YES! FOLLOW RONALDO AS HE CRIES HIS WAY INTO OBSCURITY! KEEP THAT CAMERA ON HIM FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS!
https://twitter.com/bubbaprog/status/1601634808249323520
“You know what really grinds my gears? Stoppage time used to be 1-3 minutes, maybe 5. But theeeeese days it seems like it’s always 10+ minutes or more! Also how come they’re all named Mbappe and Van Nordenbrook instead of DeGaulle and Louis?”
-Pierre Rooney
I’m legitimately happy for MAR
PARTY IN RABAT!
FINAL FOUR, BABY!
See ya, Ronaldo.
Can’t even stay on the pitch and shake hands with the other team. Real classy you shit head.
The counters are there, just gotta finish.
Oh Christ, what about a small chip shot over the keeper’s head?
Was thinking the same thing.
We finally see a red card in this tournament and it was for THAT?
8 minutes of stoppage time. Fuck
-Moroccan drummer
First red of el torneo, to benefit POR? Knock me over with a feather.
That was some bullshit.
Cheddira has to cheese it now. Though I have no idea where that challenge was.
EAT SHIT RONALDO. ALL THE SHIT. MERDE TAMBIEN
Clearly we’re rooting for the French now for an old-school colonialism-off, right?
oh indeed!
Oui
https://twitter.com/the_ironsheik/status/1601613609049948160
¡En los juevos!
ay yi yi!
This is the best result for Morocco since the Ifni War.
All apologies to Cecil Rhodes under these trying times.
/thanks Wiki!
This is Morocco’s best showing against Portugal since the Battle of Alcacer Quibir back in 1578.
/thanks Wiki!
Holy cats, action so intense I quit playing Footy Manager for cinco minutos!
Bono is their keeper? How old is that Zooropa motherfucker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4jR1RNypG0
Clever free kick idea
I would think Effectiveness is more pertinent than Cleverness at this point.
es verdad, senor de los vodka frezioso
Hey, no praying on the pitch!
Take it outside, Allah boy!
Played: “Thank you, God!”
God (watching match on TV): “What are you doing?! Get back on defense!!!”
“And could you hustle a bit more? I’ve got more than a few shekels on this tilt!”
I don’t think this crowd is whistling enough.
Maybe they should hand out some vuvuzelas to add some atmosphere.
That’s a bad miss. That should have been a goal.
Los assholes de Los portugeosos estamos my tight
Muy tight stupid auto correct
That also should have been a goal.
OK, I’m off to the bank to go beg for money for our kitchen renovation, which was already expanded to include a bathroom renovation, which be necessity is now involving my office, and which my wife has no expanded to include her office.
Last night I had a dream that we were almost done with the project and my wife went and bought a new house, (in Japan; do not ask me why that happened), that was going to cost us $8,000-$10,000 a month, (which I could not pay if I sold an organ a month), and I woke up and was legitimately mad at her for 15 minutes.
Um, you’re a lawyer, you should know you were not “legitimately” mad.
Maybe it was 8,000 Yen per month; now that’s a steal!
Here’s how I would organize the 48 teams for 2026:
8 groups of 6
Group winners get bye.
2nd and 3rd place teams play each other in knockout rounds (alternate groups as now)
Bye team go to opposite end of bracket to play winners.
Example:
2A v 3B, 2B v 3A
2C v 3D, 2D v 3C
etc.
1A v winner of 2H v 3G
1B v winner of 2G v 3H
Etc.
Much better than mine – potential add-on would be deeper rosters to handle the extra games and compressed schedule.
I would organize them by height.
[feels betrayed, throws down clipboard in a fury] – coach of the dwarves’ team
Or lady fans hotness, that’s often overlooked.
/but rarely by me
So that’s…five games, plus a sixth play-in game for half the teams before we arrive at the round of sixteen? I like it, but that’s a lot of games.
I’ve been trying to figure out a way to enforce more squad rotation.
What’s the over under on Grant Wahl mentions during the half-time show? -0-?
That wager is off the board.
I read his sub stack earlier this morning. He was apparently pretty sick, by his own admission, and complaining of significant pressure on the right side of his chest.
Leaning away from “the Qataris had him killed” angle.
It still sucks.
Agreed on both counts.
https://twitter.com/tariqpanja/status/1601567890687545344
If he was assassinated, it would make just as much sense for a country who hates Qatar to have done it as a frame job, just as a turd in the punchbowl of their Copa Mundial.
One of the most perfectly weighted passes of the tournament, and *that’s* the trash shot that results? For shame.
“Wow! I haven’t seen a guy get up like that since…well, ever!” – Deanna F.
Seeing the Maroc crowd, THAT is the country that deserved to host. Cool fuckers, man.
Aly Wagner, paid by the word
Do you not have ¡Telemundo! in your area?
I am tempted. But my attention span is questionable at best.
How does attention span factor into it? The announcers do a very fine job of telling you exciting things are happening simply by inflection. And your dick-joke output will increase by at least 20%!
I know where TUDN is, but it must be on Telemundo de regular. To the channel guide!
803! Great success
You won’t regret it.
We. Have. Shoulders!
This edited for time version of Revenge of the Sith really improves the film.
Later on they should show Annakin and Obi Wan blazing up and through a thick cloud of dank-ass smoke Annakin tells him “I finally figured out what you meant when you told me to seek out the higher ground”.
Pretty much any fan re-edit to Star Wars completely improves the film. As evidence:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2ScVx4mRDE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCB8DUGpYQQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OnieKUgv3I
I just watched the first one, which I loved. I refused to watch the second one, since I quite enjoyed TLJ. I refuse to watch the third one, because I refuse to accept that Episode IX has been filmed and released yet.
I simultaneously like The Last Jedi because of what it was trying to say (the light side isn’t all good and the dark side isn’t all bad; it’s a shade of gray) but hate it because it was sloppily done with scenes that aren’t needed plus asspulls that take you out of the movie.
I respect your wishes regarding Episode IX (better than I thought, though, they did leave room for improvement), but I do recommend you watch from 7:09 for an appropriate ending to the sequel trilogy.
My God, there’s so little of that movie I actually remember.
Let’s go MAR!
Morning freezer vodka?
Damn pill pusher. Not until 8am.
Jesus is proud of your self control
Forgive me father, for I did not make it until 8am.
Hey, so long as you keep your hands of your cock.
Dammit!
It’s just he was being so damned loud!
“Listen, either you’re all-in on this thing, or you’re not. No half-measures.” – Ronna
RomneyMcDanielI was 12 minutes in before realizing I had the teams reversed in me brain
The trees and decorations are up. Yard raked. Chores dun. Let’s see what cha got Morroco.
She can Maroc Hippo’s casbah chuh chuh
Motherfuckers, just lost the LDB Challenge while getting bagels.
And then I just lost The Game.
LDB challenge was a lot easier during peak covid when I didn’t leave my house
/smirks in recluse
/smiles knowingly under COVID/ninja mask.
Mom asked to listen to the Christmas Carol channel while driving her to church. Longest 10-minute drive in my life.
“No”
In my family, a better option would have been “open door and tuck and roll”.
Booo. Surprised that you haven’t had to play it somewheres
I wonder if there will be a “Ronaldo holds his breath” tantrum cam along the subs bench.
Highly likely.
/woke up at 5:13 on a Saturday. Fuck Sakes! Anyway, here’s a little something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBpSgAF_Mws&ab_channel=Kravits