Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your Host, Doug Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between Doug Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the tenth edition of a potentially recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC!  Now also (occasionally but not today) in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open attempt at an advice column.

• That’s right, people, busting out the roman numeral(s) for the TENTH edition of Random Thoughts With BFC. I don’t know why, and I’m probably going to waffle on them like the NFL, especially since if I ever make it up to the Ls and Cs, I’ll get all confused.
• This is likely (read: almost certainly) my last post of 2022, and let me just say–this was a weird fucking year.  But at least I wrote 22 posts for DFO this year, which I’m pretty sure is a personal record.  I’ve also written 9% of the number of posts VodkaHomeyRoy has written, but it’s nice for me.
• Matt Ryan.  Woof.  Do we need to start calling him 33-0 instead of 28-3?
• Question: what is the difference between a financial advisor and a financial planner?  I’ve read posts on investopedia and elsewhere and still do not understand if there’s a meaningful difference and/or how to actually decide who to give a call. Why can’t there be one person who is all of those things plus a tax attorney and/or consigliere?
• Speaking of attorneys, posting this again because I love it and it’s always relevant advice:

• The coworking space I sometimes go to started playing (or I just started noticing) Christmas Music last week. It was Tran-Siberian Orchestra, so no major problems but if I wasn’t already out of the LDB challenge I’d be a dead man walking.
• Now even though I am long gone from the LDB challenge, I had a thought: Not that it would have impacted my contention this year, but what if it was a two strikes rule–1 for LDB and 1 for All I Want For Christmas is You? The latter is played way more than the former, so if you heard LDB, you’d know you had to hippo it and go full recluse to avoid the latter.
• Actual conversation with my wife after her office holiday party last week–

Her: We were drinking peanut butter whiskey.
Me: Was it Skrewball?
Her: Maybe? Is that the one with a dog on it?
Me: It’s a sheep.
Her: ….well then maybe?

• Separately, I think I want to coin a new phrase/piece of advice: when life/a recipe calls for one lemon, always buy two. Even if that recipe doesn’t need it, the cocktail you should be making with it will.
• One REALLY stupid thought about going on vacation–it likely means the end of my Duolingo streak.  ¡Qué lástima!* I’m well over 100 days in a row, and that and a quarter might get me a gumball some place. *Note: I learned that expression in seventh grade Spanish class, so don’t think I’m qwhite bragging or something.
• And yet, for as much time as I’ve spent on Duolingo practicing Spanish, I’ve not bothered to use it for the language of the countries I’m about to visit.  So dumb.
• I can think of no better lede from a newspaper column to encapsulate 2022 than this one from Alexandra Petri in the Washington Post:

In “The Madness of King George,” there are several scenes where very learned doctors dedicate considerable time and effort to squinting at the contents of the king’s chamber pot. Watching the movie, you think, “Well, at least we are at a stage of civilization where we don’t have to do that! We do not live in a world that hinges so completely on the condition of one or two powerful men that it is worth our while to spend hours every day examining their stools in minute detail and trying to draw conclusions from them.” But then Elon Musk buys Twitter, and — I can think of no better analogy for what has ensued.

• There is one link in this post that you absolutely have to click. Will I tell you which one? Maybe in the comments, but no one ever tries to bribe ME for link access in posts.
• Maybe I’m an old man who the world has passed by, but I’m REALLY uncomfortable with the proliferation of sports betting and sports betting advertising all the time. I’m not anti-gambling, Lord knows I like the craps table and dropping $20 on dumb prop bets, but we’re so beyond that point that every single kid is going to be blowing hundreds on individual games on the reg, and it’s being normalized. I get this ad virtually every time I watch Hulu:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Kr1G3bVOMk

• We all know why it’s not going to change, but I have a hunch there’s a gambling epidemic brewing below the surface that is going to bite us all in the ass at some point soon.
• As we go careening into the new year of 2023, eager to leave the past 3+ years of pandemic and threats against democracy in the past and yet with the stomach churning discomfort of there being no such thing as a “new normal” anymore as we hasten the heat death of the universe, it’s important to once again strongly aver: Roger Goodell Is a National Disgrace.  There remains no more strongly held or apt holiday message than that.
• Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Festive Kwanzaa, Happy Festivus, and soon, a very Happy New Year to all of you miscreants.
• Alright, let’s finish the year strong with this fill in the blank (which is basically now one line DFO mad libs, I guess): “As the winter draws colder, my _________ will always keep me warm at night.”