There’s no time to waste!
To The Game!
Bengals/Chiefs:
-Funny how these head coach search cycles go. Certain names are mentioned over and over again but one that is not is Cincy’s DC Lou Anarumo. And look what he’s done with a D that wasn’t seen to have much talent last year. Against the Chiefs he’s had success by playing only three down linemen and dropping the rest of the players back, and yet somehow he still gets pressure on Mahomes and flusters him with the coverages he employs. I’m curious to see what wrinkle he uses today.
-There’s been plenty of shit-talking this week which tells me that this is turning into a significant rivalry. I can understand the likes of L’Jarius Sneed and Willie Gay talking smack but Eli Apple? That crappy cb is just one double move away from getting his ass torched and you know it’s going to happen. He gives me small dick energy vibes.
-High Ankle Sprain?: Has everyone else been faking it? Or is it not really that sort of injury? Or has he been pumped so full of kangaroo semen (an underrated painkiller, btw) that he can’t tell up from down? So many questions…
-WTF?: Some dumb fella wrote on a Cincy site, “It seems that the Bengals just keep playing in games with higher and higher stakes.” I think that’s how the playoffs work, sprotswriter fella.
-Burrow has feasted on the Chiefs lb’s recently so looks for Spags to perhaps replace one of his slower guys at the position (Gay?) with speedier rook safety Bryan Cook in some sub packages.
-If the focus of the Chiefs passing game centers around quick slants and screens (enabling Mahomes to get the ball out fast and not have to run around on his wonky ankle) Kadarius Toney should have a prominent role-40% of his snaps have been at the slot spot and 44% of his passes caught have been screens.
-That Cincy O-Line Problem: They held up rather nicely last week but since subbing in for La’el Collins, Hakeem Adeniji has a PFF pass-blocking grade of 30.7. (very not good)
-What the Hell Else Would He Say?: K.C.’s center and WWI enthusiast (apparently) Creed “Take Me Higher” Humphrey threw out the old, “This game will be won in the trenches” chestnut. Oof.
Do your thing.
AFC Championship Game Sponsored by Draft Kings
That was some bullshit
Joe “Dan Marino” Burrow
Who threw that TP?
We lost it but the refs helped.
Oh dear.
Nicely timed TP throw there
_sigh_
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE
Look: I take truthfulness and accuracy seriously, especially when it bears on a man’s professional reputation. But I have also watched a lot of football drunk, and I can tell you this much: Tony Romo right now is watching football drunk.
That’s a bullshit late hit penalty
Why on earth did Cincy not tell their punter to kick the ball to the sidelines?
Mike Brown isn’t paying for overtime.
You dumb Cincy son’s of bitches.
Much like my Jaguras gonna Jagura, Bungles gonna Bungle?
If they don’t pick up this flag Cincinnati should walk off the field
new vontaze burfict just dropped
and he destroyed his knee in the process
TV off now. Eat my ass, Narrative
Intentional grounding
And there’s your Playoff Bungle Moment.
Fuck, really?
Come on, OT!
Folks I do believe that’s a punt returner winning a game.
BAH GAWD THAT’S DESMOND HOWARD’S MUSIC
FLAGRANT block in the back
Taylor was reminding the refs about it, but the narrative will not be denied.
Evening, cockdanglers. Just got home from a weekend ski vacation. I have clearly missed… a lot, it seems.
Yeah, it’s been a day full of experimental-type football
The AFC Trophy is named after a dude that tried and failed miserably to corner the silver market in 1980. That’s all you need to know. What a joke.
Eat Arby’s.
William Jennings Bryan scowls
Is this when Dante Hall checks in for a punt return?
The Human Stick of Joy was a wonder to behold.
Charles Haley wants to know why that wasn’t his nickname
Shocked Andy Reid called that timeout promptly. They must have taken away his post game meal menu.
Cindy ought not have called timeout on 2nd and 8
Cincy. Fucking autocorrect
Ickys gonna be there?!?!?!
THIS KC DEFENSE I CALL IT FRANZ FERDINAND’S SECURITY DETAIL BECAUSE THEY ALMOST MAKE IT HOME BUT LET THE KILL SHOT THROUGH AT THE END
An Andy Reid led team not knowing the TE is an eligible receiver on 3rd and 16 is about as surprising as an Andy Reid offspring not knowing that it’s a bad idea to operate a motor vehicle while ramped up on pills and booze.
I think we clarified the lyric is Revved up like a duece.
Ickey Shuffle potential?
GO BUNGLES
Watching this broadcast should come with a free NPR tote
SHUT. UP. ROMO.
“Fuck ya’ll.”
— Joe B., OH
nice d, chefs
This is why Mario Batali lost his job
Free football coming up!
Thanks Bungles!
Uh…
Look on ref’s face is “you want me to call WHAT?”
Noo Yawk says fuck WKRP again. Harder. Deeper.
Burrow Ow
Oh for fucks sake!
Hey guys, did you know Dunlap used to play for the Bengals? Not sure if that had been mentioned yet
Calling it now: Burrow leads a touchdown drive and still somehow leaves Mahomes too much time.
Smells more like game winning FG as time runs out to me.
But that’s so much less fun!
Look if you give me whatever the fuck Tony Romo is making on CBS, I don’t know a damn thing about football but I will shoehorn a joke about Akili Smith shitting on a Native American’s chest.
Wowee kiddos! You ok Redshirt?
Andy Reid almost called a fake punt there, but he was really just yelling about turkey bacon
This is worse than last year’s game.
Only if KC loses.
-Redshirt’s Blood Pressure