Your All Glorious Superb Owl Open Thread

As Barry Manilow famously said, “Looks like we made it!” As with every season, t’was a tortuous route for all of us-we lost some some folks/fans but we gained some as well and learned something along the way. (I learned that I didn’t learn anything, which is a kind of learning)

Some Superb Owl Facts You May Not Know-

-The game was named by famous ornithologist John James Audubon who also named The Great Horned Owl on the very same day, the only man to name two species in a 24 hour period. The Germans were so impressed with this feat they named their highway system after him!

-Wacko Super Bowl truthers insist that Lamar Hunt named it after a kid’s toy. (thank heavens the Hunt kids weren’t playing with a Slinky) Actually, sports writers were calling it the Super Bowl back in 1966-Arthur Dailey, a columnist in New York called it ‘the superduper bowl’. It caught on quite easily, given that some of the competition out there at the time was The Bluebonnet Bowl, The Tangerine Bowl, The Sun Bowl and The Pasadena Bowl.

-The game has only been played in Canada-adjacent states three times-each time Michigan and Minnesota’s Labatt’s and Molson reservoirs came dangerously close to drying up. Lesson learned, America!

To The Game!

Chiefs/Eagles:

-Is there a betting line on Kadarius Toney getting hurt? Because he is going to get hurt. As far as other props go, I’d take a Justin Watson anytime TD at +700. You can take the Gatoraid prop and give yourself an enema with it.

-The only teams to record more than the Eagles 70 sacks are the ’89 Vikes (71) and the ’84 Bears (72).

-To offset that pressure look for K.C. to employ wr screens, jet sweeps and delayed screens to the running backs.

-Shoulder Responsibilities?: Hurts was an effective deep passer in the regular season but he is only 2 of 7 on passes of 20+ yards in the playoffs. (none of them for scores)

-Much like all at their position, Philly’s lb’s are overmatched vs Kelce. For that reason the team may turn to man fathered by a 19th century English manservant and birthed by an accountancy firm, one Chauncey Gardner-Johnson.

-The Chiefs run game on 1st down in the playoffs is a crapshoot. They’ve averaged 2.8 yards per carry so far.

-Hassan Reddick Feast Day: He’ll be lined up against Chiefs guard Andrew Wylie who has, bless his heart, very generously given up (9!) sacks so far this year.

-Philly nay-sayers have pointed out that the quality of teams they’ve played against isn’t exactly top-notch. Football Outsiders has their sked ranked as the easiest in the league by a good margin. And really, they’ve battled against the likes of Josh Johnson, One-Armed Purdy, Webb, Rush, Pickett, Mills, Heinicke and Dalton. Do those guys even qualify as ‘C’ level talent?

-“Tyreek, Who’s He?”: The Chiefs as a team had more yards after the catch than any squadoo in the last 15 years. Using the Expected Points Added metric, the offense became more efficient than it was last year.

-Mahomes’ EPA per pass play ranking vs zone? #1. Vs man? #1. Vs the blitz? #1. Vs no blitz? #1. Vs split safeties? #1. Vs single-high safeties? #2, like a sucker.

-No team has beaten the Chiefs by more than 4 points this year.

-K.C. likes to play press coverage and wr Brown ranks #1 there but he’s been quiet in the playoffs with 7 grabs (on 14 targets) for a mere 54 yards. He’s been open but Hurts has missed him.

-All things considered, I’m leaning towards them Chiefs. They appear to have huge advantages at qb and coach and Philly’s gaudy stats have come against questionable teams in questionable circumstances. But what do I know? Nothing.

Enjoy. Drop in and say hello if you haven’t recently, we’d love to hear from you.

 

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Don T

0.2 microseconds of possession is control. The ground was not involved c’mon!

Don T

BOUGHT!

Wakezilla

In my world, that’s a fumble

clint greasewood

Elon Musk and Rupert Murdock, please ISIS take them out.

King Hippo

At least Grimes wasn’t with him

Recovery Whiskey

What is a catch

ThePirateSloth

That’s a fumble

King Hippo

Why would you let someone with a shitty pitch host the Owl?

Recovery Whiskey

The Redacted fans are heard

WCS

There’s another prop bet winnah!

Petronel

OK THEN

Brocky

Holy fuck I wasn’t rooting for the meteor before but I am now!

Beerguyrob

Terrorists don’t try hard enough anymore.

Petronel

Frankly, was expecting Gronk to just spike it.

Last edited 1 year ago by Petronel
Gatoraids

-girl at a bar

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That kick was as live as Rush Limbaugh

Redshirt

Who the hell is Gutfeld?

ThePirateSloth

THE NEW FACE OF LATE NIGHT DUH

BugEyedBoo

Conservative comedian, purportedly. Fox News tried this guy once already and failed.

Recovery Whiskey

The Fox News answer to Jon Stewart

Gatoraids

JEB! Please laugh

Doktor Zymm

Ok, that’s a pretty sweet TD dance. Mahomes’s epidural is paying off!

Gatoraids

Chiefs medical staff

reanimator.jpg
BrettFavresColonoscopy

$125 for Litre if this score holds through the end of the quarter

Gatoraids

Philly needs to sweep the leg

King Hippo

Spirit animal (see 5 down)

clint greasewood

Mahomes halftime drugs kicking in.

Gatoraids

Mahomes going Perc Angle

ThePirateSloth

Isn’t this a grass field?

Doktor Zymm

One of the shots I legit thought the field was covered in trash, but no, that’s just how that turf looks

King Hippo

Inside the 5, I take ALL THE BLEERGH and sweep the leg

Porky Prime

Greg Olsen looks like David Harbor playing Philip Seymour Hoffman playing a man named Greg Olsen.

King Hippo

BANNER

Brocky

Totally. I just snorted some garlic through my sinus

Gumbygirl

He looks like Gregg Marmalard to me.

Brick Meathook

The ultimate halftime show would have been the Grateful Dead playing some incomprehensible jam for ten hours until everyone forgot why they were even there in the first place.

This ship has sailed, though, since they are almost all actually dead now.

LemonJello

An all-zombie Grateful Undead?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This vote of no confidence in Chad Henne is offensive

King Hippo

I really wanted the Chad Henne Superb Owl Experience

Petronel

During the half:
BigReid: “Your foot’s falling off, kid. It’s Henne time.”
PHomes: “Four words for you, coach. Brock. Purdy. Josh. Johnson.”
BigReid: *sigh* “…point taken.”

Recovery Whiskey

Still time

Porky Prime

“THIS GUY CHAD HENNE, I CALL HIM CHANCELLOR VALORUM BECAUSE…”

Doktor Zymm

Can I unmute yet?

Brocky

That depends, what’s your feelings on Erin andrews?

ThePirateSloth

RACE TO 30 GREG RACE TO 30 SAY IT

yeah right

After last year’s halftime show, that’s an impossible bar to exceed.

Brocky

Show was honestly better than I thought, but I still can’t say it made me care that much

makeitsnowondem

I wasn’t blown away by the music but I did enjoy all the Satanic imagery.

Gatoraids

she shoulda floated off like Baron Harkonnnen

Porky Prime

With dripping black oil covering her. Then Sting in a metal diaper.

LemonJello

And then Shai-Hulud bursts up at midfield and destroys the stadium.

Redshirt

Halftime Show Skip Streak: Silver Anniversary

Brocky

Dude you missed Eminem kneeling?

TheRevanchist

It would have been decent, but Rihanna was dressed. She is the cats meow.

Recovery Whiskey

Dangling the entertainment in the air is one good way not to ruin the field for the second half.

LemonJello

As bad as that field appears, it was for the best.

Game Time Decision

No special guest. I want my money back

Wakezilla

I was starting to get excited to see if Kanye was going to show up and the shit storm that would have followed

Don T

Pregnant lady shaking on a wired platform in front of millions is badass #SorryNotSorry

Petronel

I don’t participate here much, but it is truly wonderful to know that there is one place on the internet where it’s safe to not give a single fuck about Rihanna.

yeah right

I think she accentuating the pot belly. Bold.

Porky Prime

Wait she’s NOT pregnant?

ThePirateSloth

comment image

Porky Prime

What a perfectly cromulent halftime show.

Cecil Rhodes

Maybe for Helen Keller.

Porky Prime

I just mean love her or hate her, this is Hella basic

TheRevanchist

Reminders. Fuck Garth Brooks for his shitty overpriced tickets for many tickets.

Brocky

Lol my dad just turned on subtitles

Beerguyrob

This is the weirdest promo for the new season of “Squid Game” I’ve seen so far.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ha, I made the same joke here

Brocky

BANNER!

Recovery Whiskey

She scratched and sniffed

Porky Prime

As a father of several young children, I can confirm.

Brocky

comment image

ArmedandHammered

Before and after of Marjore Taylor Green’s most recent face lift.

LemonJello

So, which one is Rihanna?

Doktor Zymm

Gonna read the transcript of “It’s Been a Minute” where they interview Rihanna about her past concerns with the NFL while having halftime on mute
https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1155052325

Doktor Zymm

Or not an interview I guess, but just discussing a bunch of ethically dubious NFL stuff

Don T

Mahomes should have been carted to the locker room upon punting for the extra 15 minutes of primo drugs, which added to the extra rest for the Owl Halftime would’ve given enough time to the platelet transfusion to work the high ankle god damn putting money on a game makes you realize the nefariousness of the whole enterprise FUCK!

Beerguyrob

Nice of RiRi to sponsor the new iPhone launch with her set design.

Game Time Decision

Where’s the notch?

King Hippo

Ok, while we ignore Rihanna- who would y’all book if you had complete authority?

HIPPO – Public Enemy

Senor Weaselo

Do they have to be alive?

King Hippo

/thinks a minute

NO!

ArmedandHammered

Weird Al

King Hippo

Good call, especially if he closes with Xmas at Ground Zero

ArmedandHammered

Daniel Cho comes out to dance during “Like a Surgeon”

Gumbygirl

Weird Al and Prince

Brocky

Weird al.

I mean that completely seriously

Don T

1. The Hives
2. ISIS

King Hippo

The Hives would fucking bring the house down. ISIS too, wen u think about it

Porky Prime

Weird Al would be literally the best option.

yeah right

Muse and a distant second would be the Foos

LongtimeLionsLoser

Black Flag

ArmedandHammered

Boss Todd approves.

LemonJello

Led Zeppelin

ThePirateSloth

The Doors.

Purely for the weirdness if we’re talking peak lsd Jim Morrison

Last edited 1 year ago by ThePirateSloth
ArmedandHammered

Pink Floyd playing Money would be very appropriate.

King Hippo

Re #2, I always sing the “blood soaked dollar” part in the car

Wakezilla

Queen

Recovery Whiskey

The faith in cable technology here is impressive

Cecil Rhodes

Good time for the terrorists to strike!

Last edited 1 year ago by Cecil Rhodes
Brocky

Is this a joke about that those cables snapping at that one hotel in Kansas city all those years ago?

Beerguyrob

I wish Owen Hart had been so protected.

Gatoraids

would return deplatforming to its original meaning

Brocky

Ooooo, she’s wearing gloves.

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