WHO YA GOT?? And more importantly….what is the Low Commander/Horatio #ShameBet? Needs must, y’all.
JV Hardwood BOLTMEN!! (+7) v. Fightin’ Horatios (9:20, CBS)
Somehow, these two (seeded 5th and 4th in their respective regions) were the “chalk” picks of the semifinal round. Fuck me, is that ever some glorious chaos.
In the final, you get a fantastic clash of non-annoying narratives. SDSU never led in the 2nd half against Florida Atlantic…until the clock went to all zeroes as the mid-range jumper found nothing but net. That is some classic “Team of Destiny” living right there. And fuck a duck, so those BOLTMEN!! ever defend like scalded dogs. Some people turn their noses up at physical play, but not me. These guys use what they’ve got, have a plan (yes, even on offense) and BELIEVE in it. They are a fun team to watch.
As are the Fightin’ Horatios, the “Complete Team That Peacked At The Right Tiime.” No slouches on defense themselves (held Da U to a season-low 59 points to get here), they couple that with excellent passing, spacing the floor, and depth for miles. Star player has the trots in the semifinals? No worries, we’ll just kick your teeth in anyway. They’ve yet to be held to a single digit margin, with Miami being the first to break FIFTEEN POINTS in terms of final deficit.
Only a fool would pick against Dan Hurley’s crew, but I am expecting (perhaps naively) a really tough, compelling fixture. Do turn in, y’all.
— [door flies open] —
Also, SPORTS!
– Love, Rikki
What’s more fun than going up to the UConn campus tonight and joining in the revelry?
Going up tomorrow at 8 am and playing bagpipes outside of each and every dorm.
(I should point out that I do not know how to play bagpipes)
This turned up to twelve on your vehicle’s stereo and drive around the block a few times:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYhquRwKxdI&ab_channel=WhatDoesTitoSee
“This one’s for Jesus!”
Holy fuck, Hippo I just saw the Everton tying goal! How are you not calling your doctor because it’s been more than 4 hours!?
That was awesome.
Watching ESPN. San Diego, (who seriously seem like an all-around class act), out rebounded UConn, turned them over a bunch of times, did everything the pregame crew said they needed to, and they lost by 17.
UConn has 3 starters coming back and a Top 5 recruiting class to back them up.
We are going to be obnoxious as fuck for years to come.
Duke 2: Electric Boogaloo
Hey, whoa, whoa, WHOA!
Let’s not say things we can’t take back.
I think it’s interesting how ambivalent WVU fans are with UConn. They were (and should remain) conference foes for three decades, but there really isn’t any HAET between the two. UConn always was a Tuesday-in-January game forgotten about within a week, win or lose. Both schools wrecked each other’s seasons, but somehow true loathing never developed.
Yeah, that was too mean.
Obnoxiousness from New England?
Fuckin’ amateurs…
/Door flies open
//Horatio, painted blue and naked but for an impressively large UConn flag wrapped around his wing wang, runs into the clubhouse waving a beer in one hand and a cigar in the other
WHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
/trips
//cigar sets UConn flag on fire
Uh, guys, little help here?
Isn’t little help what you call it when you tap in the dwarf?
Little help? The dwarf has a name you know.
Yeah, but if I accidentally say it backwards he disappears, and then there’s a lot of paperwork and it’s just not worth the hassle.
Congratulations to the Nutmeggers
I don’t know if I feel happier for Horatio, or worse of the dwarf…
His duties were clearly spelled out in the contract, don’t feel sorry for him. He knew what he was getting into.
“Yeah, you gotta read these things carefully.” – Lea Michele, signing her name to the bottom of a sheet of Del Taco coupons.
Thank you for being a friend
https://youtu.be/23GrEhLUF_k
I don’t know that I have ever trusted a UConn team more with a lead than I trusted this one. Even when they got it down to 6, I wasn’t sweating all that much. A little, but less than I’d sweat if the Raiders were up 30 and then gave up a field goal.
I was honestly more worried when Hawkins spiked that dunk to half court and then SDSU immediately hit a nice basket. Seemed ominous.
But it wasn’t!
Any other team and that could have caused them to crumble. But not these guys!
Big O Friends:
How is she not tipping over? That is not a structurally sound design.
She’s not worried. Airbags give you that level of confidence.
Her center of mass definitely falls outside of her support base.
I’m gonna have to vote “fake” on those
Fer sher
Dan Hurley – “Quit fucking up.”
Team – “OK, Coach!”
Oh, good. UConn is winning. They never get a break.
Oh look, a Philistine on the sidewalk.
E.L.O. friends
P.L.O Friends.
SMELL-O FRIENDS!!
LOVE THAT GIF !!
Farrow Friends?
Shallow Friends
shallow gene pool
Elmo Friends
Nell-o-friends
chick a pea
This game could be made better if UConns coach dressed more like his LSU ladies counterpart.
Is that the puffy shirt one?
Yeah, somebody posted a totally appropriate Rick Flare Pic the other night in her honor.
Schello friends
Aloe friends?
Yellow Friends?
Coach Parcells has left the chat
Just realized this might be racist.
i mean you called them friends so
Bellow friends
Skip is crossing a line.
Must be a day that ends in “Y”
We also would have accepted “Belew Friends”
Mellow Friends?
That Axe commercial was just . . . something else.
You just can get these Horatios flustered, even a little bit. Very worthy JV shempions
You clearly weren’t watching the middle of the Big East season. They got flustered at the sight of a basketball.
Wild team to root for.
Well-o-friends.
CALL THESE HUSKIES HERNAN CORTES BECAUSE THEY ARE ABOUT TO SLAUGHTER THESE AZTECS.
That’s (the city of) Gold!
Jello friends.
I’m feeling sleepy for some reason
Which dwarf did they swap out for Rapey?
/door slams shut in Horatio’s basement.
I just ordered a DoorDash delivery, and the app says that my Dasher is “Roderick.”
Now that just seems like a made up name to me.
That was “Woderick.”
Roderick, no!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjGB-rW2YF4
Kell O’Friends
Because I have no vested interest in the JV basketball, and because dunking on the Leafs is never not funny:
My friend calls it LED, aka Leafs Elimination Day
I know it as “Why Day,” when Leaf fans ask themselves why they still follow this team.
Cause they are all fucking delusional
But you would never know it from watching TSN
Yeah, but last year when they were eliminated, they got a lot of respect in the handshake line! You can’t put a price on that!
Sure you can, tickets start at $150 for nosebleeds and prob another $150 for a jersey
Even UConn’s white guys are plus athletes.
Had no idea that Kasabian could ball like this. Always liked that “the troops are on fire” song though.
They are phenomenal live.
This song is great too,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYYp5-mGQRI
That IS the “troops are on fire” song!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kq-R3jzVr00
Jello Friends…?
I hear tell that the dwarf gets a WHOLE EGG mixed into his kibble ration with a Horatio win tonight.
Be careful not to spoil him, y’all. Can’t have him thinking he’s ppl
There’s already been more points scored in the first 90 seconds than the entire first half of the 2011 champeenchip match also with UConn.
Cello Friends.
Yo
(yo ma)
Yo ma ma
I wonder if anyone ever told a yo mama joke to yo yo ma?
Also, to back up my ghetto cred, the standard insult at my elementary school was “yo mana shops at Family Dollar”
The ghetto cred at my high school was that we were directly across the river from Washington DC and out of 1600 students, 1599 were white.
If they did, he would probably laugh politely. He’s supposedly an extremely nice man.
Far left.
Even SDSU has a member of Mensah on it. That school is on the upswing.
So apparently all 34 counts are felonies and dickwad is losing it over on Troof Soshul.
You don’t have an account? Where the hell are you going to get real news then? RussiaToday?
Da comrade.
Bello Friends
I love those 90s tops…
PipeHer Perabone can wear anything. Or nothing, all good.
I always liked that her character in Looper was set up as a “hooker with a heart of gold” but it turned out that she was just a regular hooker. Not evil, but she had her own shit to deal with; she wasn’t about to sacrifice herself for some douchebag criminal client.
She ever do any lesbian stuff? Asking for a halftime.
Something with Lena Headey. But it was PG. STILL THOUGH.
I thought you preferred bottoms
It’s the fact that they were so easy access.
Dr. Del Amico to her friends.
Man, SDSU recruits in some dangerous places!
(Talking about the guys from Moreno Valley and San Bernardino, not the guy from Ghana)
UConn gots a SKEERY MOOOOOOSLIM from Mali, too!
At least he’ll feel welcome in Connecticut’s many thriving Islamic communities.
I am once forgoing the JV hardwood competition to Release the Kraken.
I hope you hold on like the Ice Bombers. I can’t have the locals here in Calgary have nice things. The slurping on sports radio here is gross right now.
They have the ‘Yotes 3 of their last 7 games starting tonite. No excuses if they blow this.
Aint yous got the Knights a few times too, but they will be restin dudes?
Correct. Last 2 games of the year so hopefully doesn’t matter for either team then.
https://twitter.com/BackAftaThis/status/1643045821246582786?s=20
I saw a homeless dude with a huge schlong take an enormous piss while walking down the double-yellow line in the middle of 16th Street NW in Washington DC headed towards The White House during very busy morning rush hour traffic.
That was Roger Clinton wondering why Bill won’t return his calls.
Hey it was during the Clinton Administration
Hurley put it best when asked recently about his coaching success, saying something like “it’s not that hard: I have three NBA guys and we found some guys to to around them.”
I think UConn wins this game 8 out of 10 times. But SDSU is fully capable of making this one of the other 2 times. I’m expecting this to turn into something of a rock fight, probably not pretty to watch.
Dwarf’s working overtime all this week, regardless of the result tonight.
That poor homunculus.
March madness in April? What’s next? The superb owl in February??
Stanley Cup awaurded in Juune?!?
July
“August! In Savannah!!”
-Gary Bettman, announcing his plans for the NHL’s future.
The world series in November!?
I’ll probably do what I did with the SDSU game on Saturday: turn it on and go to sleep through it all.
special delivery for WCS
EDIT: Good reminder to my dumbass self to revise my Augusta HAET post tomorrow after finishing my taxes. I intentionally set it up this way so I’m in a interesting mood to compose.
Even if he doesn’t make the cut, I still want to watch.
Horatio, prepping himself for the pregame speech he’s about to deliver to his completely disinterested pets and wife.
[listens raptly] – the dwarf
See above.
Please don’t say that, it offends the dwarf.
Not gonna watch because UCON is on a roll and, FUCK UCON!
There’s two N’s, Boeheim.
I was doing the Reader’s Digest version of those fuckwads.