10:01 PM
Happy Fathers’ Day, Roberto. It’s your father. I hope you and your… Wife, I guess, had a great day today with your baby boy. Having children is a blessing. Take care.
10:37 PM
Hi ‘Berto. Your sister just texted to wish me a Happy Fathers’ Day. Just the three words. She’s very mindful and knows I like concision. Brevity in words. To the point. It’s a refreshing quality. Umm… Sorry about the wife thing. I didn’t mean to presume you got married. Your cousin Rafael told me that you moved in with a lady who wasn’t Natasha and that you had a baby. This was very…
10:49 PM
Hrmm. Either I pressed the button or lifted the finger, I don’t know. But it stopped recording when I was talking earlier. Anyway I wanted to apologize. I’m not too proud to say I’m sorry, as you know. Just… I wanted to finish what I was saying about your newborn son. Becoming a new parent imposes a challenge to nurture a vulnerable little baby. It is not easy. I… Just know that I’m available to… Wait. I have to keep the finger on the but–
11:05 PM
To be clear. That vulnerable little baby thing was meant towards your son because he is only a couple of months old. I definitely was NOT alluding to you in any way. But ok. I apologize again anyway for calling you an unfuckable widdle toddler or something when you introduced me to your first girlfriend during my peak alcoholism. For which I got treatment by the way. Did anyone care? Psht. It mattered NOTHING to anyone. Still the same resentment and rejection. Oh yeah, absolutely. Everything is my fault. Well you know what? Screw you. I’m gonna get a tumbler of Diet Caffeine Free Doctor Pepper.
11:08 PM
Yeah. Still sober. I do it for me now. Listen. I can’t undo anything I did either sober or… Otherwise. But I changed. I did change and become the squarest asshole and a morose sap for almost a year. And then a… Sour gramps. Right? Isn’t that what you said about me to Rafael in that last Christmas party we all got together? ‘Berto why do you confide in him? That’s on you. My whole life was teaching you kids about the virtues of shutting the fuck up. Jesus Christ you were a talker. Now you have a kid. Heh heh. I hope your son comes to you to talk about feelings whenever you come home from work.
11:10 PM
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, Ay…. Heh heh…
11:37 PM
But no matter what you can count on me. Well, my wisdom through voicemails because you won’t pick up my calls. Two in the last year and half to be precise and none to ask you for money. That was a one time thing. If you think you’re too good for a postdated check from an Anguillan crypto exchange that’s on you. You didn’t want the money back ok. But I apologize. Again. For another thing on top of everything. Forget that. Advice about the baby. Pffff…. Ok. Get your kid the best education possible. If you have no idea where, get a school that cripples you financially. For you we didn’t braaaap! But for your son. Put him the most expensive and therefore best schools. Then you can lord that over your son when he becomes a fuckup. Also keep a home that keeps away Family Services. Make someone do the dishes every three days. If you get social workers inside your house, tell them the Jesus indoctrination your grandma gave you and your sister behind your mom’s back. Your godless mother DID keep your baptism pics in the divorce. Get those pictures back and put them in your home. Do it. Give your mom a ring and tell her I. ME told you to call her. But don’t give her this number I mean c’mon!
[Intermission]
NFL NEWS
-The NFL will hold the supplemental draft on July 11. This is the first supplemental draft since 2019. Notable supplemental picks of the past:
- Bernie Kosar – Kosar was selected by the Cleveland Browns in the 1985 Supplemental Draft. He had a successful career as a quarterback, leading the Browns to multiple playoff appearances.
- Cris Carter – Carter was picked by the Philadelphia Eagles in the 1987 Supplemental Draft. He went on to become one of the greatest wide receivers in NFL history, earning multiple Pro Bowl selections and induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
- Rob Moore – Moore was selected by the New York Jets in the 1990 Supplemental Draft. He had a productive career as a wide receiver, earning Pro Bowl honors with the Arizona Cardinals.
- Ahmad Brooks – Brooks was picked by the Cincinnati Bengals in the 2006 Supplemental Draft. He played as a linebacker and had a successful career with the San Francisco 49ers, earning multiple Pro Bowl selections.
- Josh Gordon – Gordon was selected by the Cleveland Browns in the 2012 Supplemental Draft. He had a promising start to his career but faced multiple suspensions due to substance abuse. Despite his off-field issues, he has shown flashes of talent during his time in the NFL.
Via ChatGPT
SPROTS TOMITE
All times Central
Grandes Ligas
As always, slur free.
Y*nk*s (Severino) @ Medias Rojas (Bello) – 6:00
WNBA
Connecticut Sun @ Los Angeles Spark – 6:30
MinnsesoUta Lynx @ Las Vegas Aces – 8:00
INT’L KUMBAYA FÚTBOL
Because they’re friendlies. Huh?
Tch. Pearls before swine, man.
Honduras hosts Barbados – 7:00
CONCACAF FINAL
Yes yes yes! It’s the DFO darby, the regional final has the super mega ultra clásico that pits the Evil Empire and the SoUrries. Live, from the Raiders Dome in Las Vegas Nevaddah
Estados Unidos hosts Canada – 7:30
Litre was at the CAN 2-0 USA the last time these nations met up in the Iceteca; photographic evidence here. Alls I want is a Canada victory. And blood. Some blood would be nice. Not Oakland parking lot overflowing with 49ers blood, I’m not a sadist. My plea is for some run of the mill, Oops my elbow on your orbital bone sa ree kinda gash. That would make this final mythicc.
FINALLY,
12:02 AM
So even with two minutes to spare you’re too proud to acknowledge your old man during Father’s Day. Hey. That’s fine. Nobody asks to be born and you can’t spit towards the sidewalk without hitting an ungrateful and self-absorbed kid. There’s a connection there but this Mexican Klonopin my neighbor brought me packs a wallop. Anyway… Tssss. God damn the youth are insufferable. Kids are all about vision and exuberance and enthusiasm. But wisdom and experience get you ahead. Falling face first. Having no one to help you. Getting out of jams by yourself. Snfffff. Hrm… Roberto. I am proud that you were able to pull ahead without me giving you a cent. If you give your kids everything they will never learn on their own. Plus leaving kids to their own devices takes zero effort. Remember what I told you when you turned eighteen: from this moment on everything is on you. Not on me. Not on me. Send me a pic of my grandson and I might call you from my deathbed. Or next Fathers’ Day. Whichever comes first.
12:33 AM
You have 1 new message
12:35 AM
Was that so tough? Thank you. I knew you were a softie just like your Pa. Let me give you another piece of advice. When your missus and baby go to visit relatives, select appropriate alcohols to get blackout drunk and pass out within a seventy five minute period and then nap for an hour and eat something before they get back. I know you drink. Do notice I’m not giving you shit about drinking despite your genes. Instead I choose to share my alkie wisdom. I can give you my drunk driving tips in person when I visit the baby. I’ll tease one. Sometimes you gotta close one eye to improve sight.
Happy Juneteenth my fellow NUBIANS!
Can’t believe I have to work tomorrow. My mother’s side of the family didn’t get here from the auld sod until the 1880’s. My father’s people were in NYC from @1830 on, but they certainly didn’t own slaves.
Do we know what they did during the draft riots during the Civl War? No, and we aren’t asking either.
This might be the quintessential Bengals sentence.
I’ll take “Parking Lots Bob Huggins Has Backed Out Of” for $400, Ken.
Yep. Yep. Saying ‘Ken’ in this context just feels so, so wrong.
Ah, the good ol days… When the Bengals were still a pack of hapless chucklefucks instead of the juggernauts they are now….
Same amount of Superb Owls, though.
…yet
Just went through my emails and hit ‘unsubscribe’ on a bunch of mass emails. One of them was for Make-A-Wish.
That’ll make you feel like a winner.
If any of the dying children wanted to meet Kid Rock, you did the right thing.
If whatever is killing them is contagious I’ll drain my 401K to make it happen.
I accidentally donated to the charity that grroms kids to be gay…Make-a-Swish
I mean, dying kids MEET BOOTSTRAPS imogodbless
Well the US won the CONCACAF thing, so the best thing they could do is bring Berhalter back as the permanent coach, since they had so much similar success under his guidance.
/holds had to earpiece
I am being advised that this is not true, that the search process was a sham and total waste of money, and that the US having a chance at sustained success under Greggggggggg is roughly the same as my chance at scoring with Paulina Porzikova.
Paulina is pleased to hear this news.
Hey, at least I’d never write her out of my will like her asshole groomer ex-husband.
Well, she IS single…
Too tall.
/God I hate myself.
You’re just lobbing them up there now? It’s like Home Run Derby up in here.
Well, I’m listening to a Yiddish version of Land Down Under. So that’s how my night’s gone.
by Hyman At Work
We won the best continent soccer thing!
Stupid Spain, Europe sucks at soccer and don’t even call it the right name.
Watching the CONCACAF final on Telemundo.
The US is wearing white, right?
It’s so all the jizz from Pubelessdick’s mouth doesn’t show any stains on the kit.
Well they weren’t going to wear black.
before LaboUr Day???
I just won an auction for a vintage Winchester rifle and I got it for a song, probably $1000 less than I thought I would pay. There were almost no other bidders.
It’s not only a pre-1964 Model 70, it’s a “Transition” or “Type II” model built just after WWII with superior pre-war parts. This particular rifle was built in 1946 and includes a vintage Alaskan scope.
The pre-64 Model 70 is called “the rifleman’s rifle.” It is iconic, extremely accurate and well made, and holds its value.
It’s a great hunting rifle, but that doesn’t matter because I don’t hunt. Actually, I don’t even like shooting guns, even though I’m thoroughly trained in it and am a pretty good shot. I own a shotgun, a pistol, and now a rifle yet I don’t own any ammunition for any of them, and am not really interested in buying any.
I also own a lot of cameras, yet deep down I hate taking pictures. I am an enigma, but a well armed one (although all I can do is club you with them).
STAND UR GROUND!!!11111
I’ve said this before, but I believe that the perfect poetic crime (and I’m speaking strictly academically here) would be to get a good accurate rifle, join the NRA, take all the marksmanship classes the NRA offered, and then shoot the chairman of the NRA when he’s delivering the keynote speech at the NRA convention, drilling him right between the eyes from 1000 yards away. Then you turn yourself in. No jury would convict you, and even the NRA would have to give you an award.
I think you may have only said this in your head (then again, I do alot of drugs) but this would make a damned fine documentary series, too.
I told this to you in person that night we were out doing drugs.
If Oswald had one of these he could have gotten JFK, Connolly, Jackie, AND the driver.
They prosecution could print this out and enter it as a full exhibit at trial and I’d vote to acquit.
Fuck you, Wayne.
Nice. Right fine rifle you got there, Brick. Will serve you well when the Helter Skelter breaks out.
Sup
I am the captain now.
Yes, with better teeth
That’s not…Paul Allen, is it?
https://dubz.co/c/e7b84f
No, that’s Balogun.
Paul Allen was killed by Patrick Bateman.
They all went to Harvard.
I didn’t see any laser eyes, so no.
Deux à zéro!
Getting revenge for all the smouke lately.
I’m just laying here watching Murderville and the Mrs is making a stew for my fathers day dinner. Oh, I’m also laying out the notes for the designer for a huge home remodel we are getting into.
I can already see how these things drive people apart.
I survived our most recent remodel by getting Covid, sleeping through the first 2-3 days of it, then realizing it was too late to do anything about anything and just writing checks.
2/10, do not recommend.
I’m expecting a well-written apology for this performance, Canadia. In TRIPLICATE
It’s like they need to go back to passing school with all the children in their leagues where their moms are the soccer coach.
Hey, making passes at moms is MY JERB! – Zach W., E. Rutherford, NJ
This Korean drama is too nuanced. There’s no cartoonishly evil villain for me to root against.
The loose extra fabric on Bojan’s sweatpants would’ve saved that #JustSayin
That’s it. I’m turning on a crappy movie and turning off this shit game.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the USMNT is a great watch and a world-class team. Until it’s time to shoot towards the goal.
Great timing!
I’m guessing Wyndham Clark is named after where he was created.
If you’ve got ten minutes to kill and want to see an amazing film, here is a 1972 industrial advertisement for the new Polaroid SX-70 camera. The film was made by Charles and Ray Eames, who were extraordinary designers and filmmakers.
The SX-70 was groundbreaking in its day and is still a pretty amazing gizmo; you can still get them on eBay for not too much but the film is expensive and not quite as good as the original Polaroid film, which is not made any more. I own one of these with all the accessories, just like I own a bunch of classic cameras and modern professional ones, but if I had to take only one camera with me it would be my iPhone.
Anyway this is just so well done, particularly the description of how the camera works, which is way cool:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jaiq_ZZ_eM
¡Jesucristo!
This is the kind of thing that pisses me off
.
Yeah, fuck that shit!
Hoarding is a red carpet for roaches 😖
Tronno scored a ROUGE, Happy Father’s Day to those of you with viable swimmers!
Should be in Vegas. Decisions were made and I decided on The Cure two weeks ago.
You made a wise choice.
Happy Fathers’ Day, mofos.
that was amazing