(Wow, nicely done, me.)
Well, I didn’t finish any gigs after midnight this past week, so I’ll take it. That took me almost a week to fully recover, even while I had other gigs that week. Or actually that’s part of why. So, let’s scramble here!
-There’s one race left in this season of Marbula One! It’s not a full Marble League Rolldown, but for those unaware, it’s one of the several side competitions done. The concept? Basically, think of the portmanteau, Marble and Formula One, though not with the full roster (20 teams, 2 marbles per team). But, this weekend is the final race of the season, in part so Jelle, Dion, and the team can make Marble League ’23. The tracks get lore, too, as this season has hit up mainstays like the Razzway (home track of the Raspberry Racers) and Greenstone (both a Silverstone joke and home track of the Green Ducks), and new tracks like Sakura Garden (home track of the Pinkies) and the final track, Casino Square (of the Black Jacks, and possibly a Monaco reference).
You want hype? How about this: Three teams are tied atop the leaderboard for the team/constructors championship: The Hazers, Team Primary, and Season 1 champs the Savage Speeders. Defending team champs the O’rangers are 14 points back, and there are a total of six teams within 20 points. For the individual championships, all eyes, especially Momo (of Team Momo) and Cloudy (of the Hazers) are on Royal of the Kobalts, with S1 individual champ Speedy still in the hunt if things break right. A sweep (pole, winner, fastest lap) can net 29 points.
Also Greg Woods remains absolutely outstanding, so there’s that. (The season starts here, with the Razzway qualifiers.)
What about human news?
-Suspensions are coming for Isaiah Rodgers and others for their gambling violations, expected to be a season. The big question: They’re going to do a workshop on the dos and don’ts of gambling, correct? I feel like “Don’t bet on the NFL” should be the big one, but mainly clarification of when and where. Yeah, right, they’ll just see what happens and suspend.
–Lloyd Howell will replace DeMaurice Smith as executive director of the NFLPA. Howell was CFO of Booz Allen Hamilton until he retired last December.
-In a better story than Ryan Mallett’s tragedy (RIP), RB Leonard Fournette escaped injury after his SUV caught fire while he was driving it. I would say clearly his next vehicle shouldn’t be from that make.
What’s on tonight?
-The NHL Draft! (7:00, ESPN) We know Connor Bedard’s going to Chicago (unfortunately), so what about everyone else?
I love gooooooold! Cup.
-Cool Runnings vs. Moruga Scorpions (Jamaica vs. Trinidad and Tobago, 7:30, FS1)
-Fightin’ Hamiltons vs. The Other Founders (St. Kitts and Nevis vs. United States, 10:00, FS1)
MLB Network offerings
-Beers vs. 7 Line Army (MIL vs. NYM, 7:10)
-Trashcans vs. #BFIB (HOU vs. STL, 7:45)
That’s it. Enjoy watching marbles go around a track.
If a perfect game happens in Oakland and no one is around to see it, does it count?
I can only imagine someone waking up from a COVID coma from 2020, turning on the game and going “We’re still in quarantine after four years?!”
Glad the fans in Oakland got to see history right before ownership and MLB hose them and move the team to Vegas.
Haven’t seen someone dominate future Vegas like that since Bugsy.
-Domingo German, walking back into the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders clubhouse after being sent back to Triple A a month from now.
Pretty sure Rob Manfred will issue a ruling that it doesn’t count since it wasn’t against a major league team.
I assumed he would deny it happened because a baseball fan told him that pitching performance was super awesome and fun to watch, which made him retch for the second night in a row after hearing about Ohtani’s super awesome and fun to watch antics the previous night.
One more night of enjoyment may compel RM to enter the launch codes.
According to the good folks of the baseball subreddit… this was the highest attendance for a perfect game in Oakland ever. And that’s out of three.
Another fun fact. With this outing he lowered his ERA over his last 2 starts from 23.23 to 5.95 and his WHIP from 3.87 to 0.99.
This is because during his last outing he was shelled by the Mariners. And coincidentally, the Mariners are the team that had the last perfect game in 2012 by the King, Felix Hernandez.
And fun fact, I was at that game. It was a Wednesday matinee game and my company had a suite for the game. I stupidly threw away my ticket stub, but I was there man.
You Win, Perfect! – YouTube
BASEBALL IMMORTALITY.
Dock Ellis did it better
Tom Browning would’ve sat in the outfield bleachers in the Top of the 9th.
The Yankees have a single-digit uniform number still available?!
That’s the only one.
HIs uniform number was a prediction. Who knew?
π
Damn it. I knew its was a slippery slope when the Alt Right took over. Now its finally reached its inevitable conclusion with us openly cheering for German superiority.
3 MORE OUTS. I know it’s against Oakland, but they still count.
If I was Oakland, I would be openly giving everyone I face a Perfect Game.
Right in the balls!
Insult to injury on that one.
The real question, was that the St. Kitts region or the Nevis region?
Context:
https://twitter.com/TWDTV1/status/1674264419189047302
Yeah, can’t say he was faking that one.
Also in the ouch department:
https://twitter.com/cozy_lariat/status/1673478749705175043?s=46&t=gi5ni18UJOPrpEnxvZrIHQ
https://twitter.com/CM_Trunks/status/1673480179375652864
Computating is hard
“The Yankees have not allowed a baserunner through seven innings!”
“That’s good!”
“Domingo German is pitching.”
“Oh, that’s bad.”
I popped over to the ESPN site, and I gotta say that guy don’t look German.
I was definitely torn. On the one hand I love to see history. On the other hand, Domingo German.
I had a two hour layover in Minneapolis yesterday that turned into a five hour one. Fortunately I dropped fifty bucks to use the Delta Club; free food & drink, and fifty bucks don’t go far buying stuff out in the terminal with the hoi polloi.
But, see, Delta has two clubs in MSP: a smaller one in the E Terminal near my gate, and another in the G Terminal, which is in a different building. At the E Club they suggested I go to the G Club, then got me a ride on an electric cart there. Sweet!
It’s a nine minute ride right through the busy terminals, and the drivers zip through the people. It’s great. Later, I got a cart ride back to my gate and discovered the three hour delay; I got a cart ride back to G Club, got bored after a bit and got a cart ride back to my gate. Then I took a train one stop to the E Club and asked for a cart back to the G Club. Finally I got a cart back to my E gate for departure.
So I spent my five hour layover joyriding back and forth through that big airport (six rides total) which was a blast, and in-between I hit the buffets and bars at each club, gratis (I spent sixty bucks on driver tips).
I didn’t really want to leave. Fortunately I filmed each ride from up front, zipping through the airport. I actually do that a lot but this was the best.
Film at eleven.
Um, it’s eleven. Where’s the latest Brick joint?
At the half the USMNT has as many goals as the Yankees have runs through 5 innings.
And the Yankees are actually playing pretty well through 5.
The Arizona Coyotes have drafted Daniil But. The Flyers drafted Oliver Bonk.
Nashville Predators took a UConn kid at 15, highest ever pick for the program. By the transitive properties of…math, I guess, I am now a Predators fan.
There are worse organizations
https://www.tickcounter.com/countup/170474400000/us-eastern/yowd/000000FA4616FA4616FA4616/Days_since_the_Philadelphia_Flyers_lifted_the_Stanley_Cup
I’m aware. I rooted for one of ’em for years.
THIS GUY RON DESANTIS I CALL HIM THE ONION’S JESUS BECAUSE IN TIMES OF TROUBLE HIS FOOTSTEPS IN THE SAND ARE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.
Ted Cruz is a creepy. Ron DeSantis has lampshades made out of human skin.
https://www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com/
Becoming more known outside of Florida has just been a disaster for him. He’s just a total tool and he absolutely can’t hide it.
Footprints are woke and gay.
https://www.theonion.com/it-was-then-that-i-carried-you-vs-bullshit-jesus-tho-1819594262
It’s not looking good for St. Kitts OR Nevis tonight.
This is all Jamaica’s fault for beating up on Trinidad AND Tobago
I’m 70 pages into “The Man Who Died” by some Finnish fella (Antti Tuomainen) and if you like oddball stuff, I highly recommend it. It’s deadpan hilarious.
“Palm Beach, Finland” and “Little Siberia” were both enjoyable.
Easy to Finnish.
I just watched the phone Black Phone. It was pretty good.
Really thought that guy was gonna make a good RW power play specialist, but writer is cool too I guess
Is it just me, or is life extra meaningless at present?
It’s not just you. I am fighting a battle against depression and angst right now. You guys help more than I can ever tell you. I am so grateful.
You hang in there, you. Like that cat on them posters.
Or the guy in the hard hat on the old Super Glue commercials.
I always wondered what was keeping his fool head inside the hardhat
You’re our favorite, don’t tell anyone else.
All things must pass, I think Your favorite Beatle wrote that one.
Just hollar at us – very calmingly
And be well Cara.
Pete Best?
No sir. Guess again please . You have 4 guesses remaining.
Ringo Harrison?
Look, Other Hippo, all those pill bottles aren’t going to empty themselves. We need someone to step up here.
FARE point!
Always something on the horizon.
Like football season, or another beer.
But depression’s a real thing, so make sure you practice self-care. Horatio can send you some of the more “exotic” dwarf videos. The one with the potato peeler is life-affirming.
At some point, it will be close enough to football season to sense that first whiff of autumnal hope. Just ain’t reached it yet.
I’ll make one if I have to.
Currently contemplating whether I’m up to take on the RFK Jr. Challenge:
1. Eat one tube of apple-flavored Ivermectin.
2. Five reps of 105 lbs on the incline bench press.
3. Do 8 pushups.
I don’t give a fuck what this weirdo does, as long as he doesn’t take away any meaningful votes for Biden next year. If he tries to run as an independent, Imma stuff him so full of horse dewormer he will shit out all of his intestines.
I’m not sure that he wouldn’t take more votes from Trump than from Biden in a third-party run. His favorability ratings are higher among Republicans than Democrats. Still, Republican voters are usually smarter about not voting for third party spoilers.
You used “Republican voters” and “smarter” in the same sentence. Where’s that bleach?
That should tell you what I think about people who claim to be left of center and vote for Jill Stein or Cornell West or whoever the fuck because Clinton or Biden or whoever isn’t their perfect fantasy candidate.
It’s really very, very, VERY few. For such a broad coalition like we Demmycrats got, it’s amazing how little dissent there is within the tent/caucus. Diamond Joe may not set hearts on fire, but everybody likes him just fine.
Yeah, at least in 2020, Dems held their noses and rallied behind Biden. I’m hoping that repeats.
I mean, nobody can really feel like he’s UNDERPERFORMED as President. Even if one’s baseline hopes were “just don’t wander naked into traffic” he’s still at least met/exceeded them.
It’s pretty obvious that’s what’s happening. He won’t have any more of an impact on the election than Kanye did.
No one who would otherwise vote for Biden is looking at RFK and thinking “yeah, that’s the guy.”
ya’ll shoulda SEEN the joke I made in the now-deleted other Open Thread.
It’s not deleted, it’s just rescheduled. We’ll all find out if you were lying.
Gulp.
These Reds and Orioles, I call them the Bengals and Ravens because they are throwing crooked numbers on the scoreboard and each rule-defined period is taking years off my life.
Bill Ponderosa, Wallace Shawn, and now Craig T. Nelson are on Young Sheldon?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9veUOa5FR4E
“I’ve been on food stamps and welfare. Anybody help me out? No. No.”
– Craig T. Nelson
So, just to clarify….
Every fan of any of the big four sports teams should boo their commissioner?
I genuinely don’t think enough people know who Rob Manford is to boo him.
He’s generic even by generic white guy standards.
Yes.
In short, there are five people to boo no matter what:
-The four commissioners
-The mayor of New York
Is “boo” the new hip slang for “kick in the nuts”?
Just like a Blackhawks locker room in 2010, that was awkward and inevitable.
The Balls of Chaos, per usual, are completely unpredictable except for the fact they usually end up in the middle of the pack.
They’re the St. Kilda Saints of marble sports.
Except for last year’s Marble League, but they don’t talk about that one in Hunluen.
That never happened
We are settling in right where we need to be.
The NFL’s handbook on gambling (artist’s rendering)
“Be A Better Bettor Than Gary Bettman.”
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
-Casper, on meth