Your Overlapping Monday Night Football Games Open Thread

1295539310-sad-cleveland-browns.jpg

I read somewhere that the broadcaster is tinkering around with starting times to see if there’s any difference in viewership numbers. Has anyone read anything else on the subject? I’m curious to know. I do like the option of having a less sucky option should the circumstances warrant it.

Fallout:

-Lots of injuries: Saquon has a regular ankle (not high) sprain and will be out a few weeks. (do not waste your time picking up other backfield Giants) Montgomery has a thigh bruise, Anthony Richardson has a cabeca (for all of those readers in Portugal at the moment) issue, same with Waddle, OBJ has some ankle issue, Mooney got himself a knee but says he’ll play, Logan Thomas was done dirty and Edmonds is on IR.

-Giants Lead The League!…in negative point differential with -37. The Bears are 2nd with -28.

-Does Sack Wilson make it to the 6 game mark? I don’t think so, not with a few more 12-27 outings with 3 turnovers to boot. Is he that bad? He seems so…unprepared.

-The Day I Became a Puka Truther: 20 targets! 35 after two weeks! That kid can get separation. Kudos to those that took a flier on him after last week. There’s another wr rook doing well but he’s flying under the radar and that’s Tank Dell. (I hope to grab him in Math Hard! league, so leave him alone!) Houston will be behind all year so he should get lots of action if his puny 165lb frame holds up. (it won’t)

-That field goal by McVay, meaningless and yet so meaningful for the bettors out there. My tinfoil hat is giving me a hard stare.

To The Games!

Saints/Panthers:

-Olave and Thomas and Shaheed should do quite well given that cb Jaycee Horn is out.

-Bryce Young was a struggle squirrel vs Atl last week. Wait until he sees an even better defensing unit. He says the team needs chunk plays to get over the hump tonight so let’s see him air it out.

-I keep forgetting that Derek Carr plays for the Saints-speaking of ‘chunks’, he had 5 passing plays of over 20 yards and 2 over 40.

-Remember, this is an NFC South ‘showdown’, anyone can win this division.

Browns/Steelers:

-Thinking of playing the money line? Guess what Pitt’s record at home on Monday Night is over their last twenty games? That’s right, 20-0.

Diontae is out of this one but Amari indicated he could perhaps play today. We’ll see.

-Seven games into his Browns career and Deshaun has impressed no one. When pressured his sack rate is 30.7%, 4th-worse in the league. When he isn’t staring at the stars he’s connecting to  teammates at a 20 for 52 rate.

-With Heyward out and the Steelers giving up 5.5 ypc last week, expect huge amounts of Chubb. Cleveland ran for 200+ last week.

There you are.

 

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
376 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Gatoraids

Olzewiki with the PeeWee Herman catch

litre_cola

I am starting to think Derek Carr has always been shitty.

Sharkbait

You mean Dollar Store Daniel Stern?

litre_cola

He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn tonight.

Redshirt

Browns/Steelers, how can I get out of this? Reds on TV? On a channel that I have?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i57mDFPEtZc&pp=ygUtYnllIGV2ZXJ5b25lIGknbGwgcmVtZW1iZXIgeW91IGFsbCBpbiB0aGVyYXB5

Brick Meathook

comment image

Sharkbait

You can always DM me ya know.

jjfozz

I had two mojitos Saturday night. They were awesome. Does that make me gay?

King Hippo

If you also woke up with a cock in your ass, MAYBE.

King Hippo

Cover Two and the Infinite Sadness

fleshwound_NPG

my feed of the white browns and stillers is glitchy for some reason, aints/cats is just fine

jjfozz

Heard over the helmet mike during a Browns game:

“For the last time, DeShaun the ‘Chub Rub’ is a play, not the name of a massage service.”

Spur

NOW a MNF Doubleheader? is there a hurricane or something?

Spur

Folks!

LemonJello

comment image

Redshirt

That what happens when you debut the white helmets on the road.

litre_cola

UN Peacekeepers nod.

LemonJello

One thing about Watson, he’ll keep trying to force it in there, doesn’t matter how many unwilling receivers he encounters.

litre_cola

I would expect a JustStopDude appearance after that.

jjfozz

Did the Browns steal their uniforms from a Pop Warner U-10 team?

fleshwound_NPG

bears: nobody is gonna top our orange-on-orange uniform look as being more out of place

browns: oh yea, motherfucker

WCS

THE SHAUN

LemonJello

Stillers Pickerception of TheShaun. Shame, really.

jjfozz

Slippery hands caused by too much massage oil in the locker room.

Gumbygirl

I’m feeling a little better!

Mr. Ayo

#ThePauls!!

litre_cola

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CLEVELANDED

King Hippo

We have maximum #ThePauls ppl this is NAWT a drill

fleshwound_NPG

they found the f35. it was inside yo mamma

jjfozz

Why folding laundry is a lost cause in my house.
comment image

King Hippo

Daaaaawwww

Brick Meathook

He folded those towels all wrong. Bad doggie!

jjfozz

Danny DeVito’s real happy place: 100 miles away from Rhea Pearlman

jjfozz

You know those flesh eating scarabs in The Mummy? I would like to place one in Mr. Watt’s ear.

LemonJello

That’ll get you a lot of magic undies.

jjfozz

I’ve mentally mapped out a short story/novella. Gotta outline it. When I’m rich as fuck, I’m flying all of you out to the Fozz Bunker for the Super Bowl.

Don T

Miles Garrett ripping off Mason Rudolph’s helmet to bludgeon the you g QB is the most badass things I’ve seen on a fitbaw field.

Last edited 8 months ago by Don T
jjfozz

In Cleveland that’s known as a “Class Move.”

King Hippo

that one ad says “anti-racism is about what you DO” yeah?

jjfozz

Steelers Browns. I’m rooting for a squadron of A-10 Warthogs to completely level the stadium. The IQ average of the East Coast would rise by 20 points.

Redshirt
Mr. Ayo

Latest rumoUr is the F35 was hacked. And the hackers ejected the pilot and flew it on autopilot to them. Still no sign of the plane.

litre_cola

If any DFOer is involved it’s bk.

Redshirt

How is the ejection seat hackable? I thought it was done by lever.

Also, why isn’t the plane LoJacked. Wouldn’t it be important to know on a radar which bleeps are us and which bleeps are them?

Mr. Ayo

I’ll dive into all the details on a very special version of Sexy Friday: How to Hack (and Fly) a F35!

bk109

Because a seat’s not just a seat with a rocket booster.. It’s for all intents and purposes a single-use aicraft of its own, one that (on some planes) can even bail your arse outta trouble where every millisecond counts (ie during takeoff/landing from a carrier / LHA). And one that has to (before it sends you skyward) help you assume position for ejection (by using small pyro charges to manhandle you to a form that has the highest likelyhood of helping you sod off without injury), blow your canopy (or failing that, blow you through your canopy, get you off the plane, orient the seat in the airstream so the main booster gives you time and distance to your plane (so you can survive a 0/0), pop a drogue to stabilize you (’cause if you tumble, you lose consciousness fast), detach itself from your arse at the proper altitude (with or without the pilot being even conscious) ………. and oh-so-much-more.

tl;dr version: The ejection seat is as computerized as everything, so just like everything else with a microchip inside – it can be subverted by any determined attacker. Best part -given that the US tends to import a lot of its microchips from abroad, that same determined attacker can leave surprises in your plane’s hardware straight from the factory and keep them hidden until the moment it needs 😉

LemonJello

That could explain the fleet-wide grounding of USMC aircraft.

Gumbygirl

I thought they found the debris field? That’s what the Marines told ABC news.

LemonJello

I saw that too. Followed by a story on Camp Lejeune’s contaminated drinking water.

Mr. Ayo

Maybe those hackers weren’t so good at the landing part of the plan?

Brick Meathook

Two hours away from where they thought it was.

Brick Meathook

They are going to find that wrecked plane in the dumbest place possible. Trust me.

LemonJello

Diamond Joe’s garage next to his vette?

Brick Meathook

I was thinking maybe it hit the ground at a shallow angle with no fuel and slid into an old barn; however, nowhere near where they were looking for it is also a good n’ dumb answer.

WCS

It’s a Pontiac.

comment image

King Hippo

Bryce’s parents are giants compared to him.

litre_cola

I for one love the early start time!

King Hippo

I wish they’d play a double-header, but starting at like 5:30 and 8:00

King Hippo

but Chad O was all liek but what if they DID?

Redshirt

Will someone explain why we’re not getting a ManningCast for two concurrent Monday Night Football games?

LemonJello

Eli had a D&D gathering tonight and he refused to miss it.

Redshirt

I read that as S&M and my thoughts went into a dark place.

King Hippo

SAFE WORD IS TONKA

herodotus450

The Grupe are biting today, but I’m holding out for the Perch.

King Hippo

Frank Reich looks like a man who has SEEN some shit.

fleshwound_NPG

lot of former irsay employees do

Don T

He looks like his COBRA benefits just ran out and the wife is 7-mos. pregnant.

King Hippo

they’s gonna take mah THUMBS!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Everyone else see that guy in the Natty Boh jersey? He’s clearly never said anything racist in his life.

jjfozz

Natty Boh tastes like piss that’s been left to ferment in the sun. Pus and vinegar are then mixed in with the brew. Baltimore dickheads love this shit, and most don’t realize that it’s not even brewed in this fucking city anymore. Fuck Natty Boh.

Gumbygirl

I have Sartre levels of existential dread right now.

Brick Meathook

NERD

ArmedandHammered

One of my favorite songs.

Don T

/turns on the ice cream signal

//like the bat signal, but with the Ben & Jerry’s logo

Gumbygirl

There will be a hot fudge sundae whatever happens.

Redshirt

Don’t worry. Acceptance is after Dread. Than Sadness and Apathy.

jjfozz

“Nasty Jack Doesn’t Like Anyone”

Got the title for my children’s book. Need a graphic designer for the layout.

I’m gonna be rich, you fuckers.

WCS

The Beginner’s Guide To Bourble

LemonJello

Fozz’s Shitastic, Assblasting, Mutherfuckkin No Good Day

Brick Meathook

Ricky, The Fire Breathing Pony

herodotus450

we have stop global warming or else Nunavut will become too powerful

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t want to hear Nunavut

Gumbygirl

Oh lawd, he punnin’!

LemonJello

Inuit!

herodotus450

Butter is filled with saturated fats, which is why I do all my deep frying with Olave (R), the all new, Ultra-Processed cooking fat.

King Hippo

Anytime there’s an early waiver wire sensation that I pass on completely…BOOM, profit for the rest of humanity.

Puka is 2023’s star man missed.

Emo Carr has to love this all black kit, though.

fleshwound_NPG
fleshwound_NPG

(also pretty sure this is happening because he needs anti-bonesaw saudi cash. again.)

SonOfSpam

I got one if you want it

fleshwound_NPG

sure

fleshwound_NPG

dm or email?

SonOfSpam

bsky-social-r5me5-airnn

Hurry up before some other rando takes it

fleshwound_NPG

thanks

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m pretty sure his whole purpose in buying it was to destroy it.

fleshwound_NPG

possible, but it cost him 40 billion and his rep with the nerds and stans, especially the ones that spent money for him for the blue check for a dying website

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s not his money. It’s the investors’. And he could give two shits about them.

fleshwound_NPG

considering most of that money is saudi, he’d better

WCS
fleshwound_NPG

only silver lining for bears fans is last year you rooted for a successful tank, now you get to root for a double tank

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can Olave and Njoku combine for 90 points tonight? My magic 8 ball says no.

Brick Meathook

I’m heating up smoked sausage that I got as take-out from Phillips BBQ in Inglewood. They’ve been in my freezer for almost a year.

This could either go incredibly well or incredibly bad.
There is no in between.

Redshirt

This may be the first time in Bengal history that the fans are demanding a QB be benched because he’s good.

Redshirt

That’s okay. So, did Zac Taylor.

Horatio Cornblower

Just saw Mark Gastineau doing a commercial for those ‘Balance of Nature’ pills.

He does not look good, although that may just be the insanely low quality of those commercials.

King Hippo

He was roided to the gills, right?

Don T

Yeah. Back in the day, he and Klecko shared back-hair stylists.

ballsofsteelandfury

Tonight could either go incredibly well or incredibly bad.

There is no in between.

Redshirt

I’m not sure I’m ready to live in a world where the Browns are better than both the Bengals and Browns.

I’d root for you but I don’t want to jinx you. So I’m very not rooting for you to destroy them.

Gumbygirl

No thank you!

1 2 3 4