I read somewhere that the broadcaster is tinkering around with starting times to see if there’s any difference in viewership numbers. Has anyone read anything else on the subject? I’m curious to know. I do like the option of having a less sucky option should the circumstances warrant it.
Fallout:
-Lots of injuries: Saquon has a regular ankle (not high) sprain and will be out a few weeks. (do not waste your time picking up other backfield Giants) Montgomery has a thigh bruise, Anthony Richardson has a cabeca (for all of those readers in Portugal at the moment) issue, same with Waddle, OBJ has some ankle issue, Mooney got himself a knee but says he’ll play, Logan Thomas was done dirty and Edmonds is on IR.
-Giants Lead The League!…in negative point differential with -37. The Bears are 2nd with -28.
-Does Sack Wilson make it to the 6 game mark? I don’t think so, not with a few more 12-27 outings with 3 turnovers to boot. Is he that bad? He seems so…unprepared.
-The Day I Became a Puka Truther: 20 targets! 35 after two weeks! That kid can get separation. Kudos to those that took a flier on him after last week. There’s another wr rook doing well but he’s flying under the radar and that’s Tank Dell. (I hope to grab him in Math Hard! league, so leave him alone!) Houston will be behind all year so he should get lots of action if his puny 165lb frame holds up. (it won’t)
-That field goal by McVay, meaningless and yet so meaningful for the bettors out there. My tinfoil hat is giving me a hard stare.
To The Games!
Saints/Panthers:
-Olave and Thomas and Shaheed should do quite well given that cb Jaycee Horn is out.
-Bryce Young was a struggle squirrel vs Atl last week. Wait until he sees an even better defensing unit. He says the team needs chunk plays to get over the hump tonight so let’s see him air it out.
-I keep forgetting that Derek Carr plays for the Saints-speaking of ‘chunks’, he had 5 passing plays of over 20 yards and 2 over 40.
-Remember, this is an NFC South ‘showdown’, anyone can win this division.
Browns/Steelers:
-Thinking of playing the money line? Guess what Pitt’s record at home on Monday Night is over their last twenty games? That’s right, 20-0.
Diontae is out of this one but Amari indicated he could perhaps play today. We’ll see.
-Seven games into his Browns career and Deshaun has impressed no one. When pressured his sack rate is 30.7%, 4th-worse in the league. When he isn’t staring at the stars he’s connecting to teammates at a 20 for 52 rate.
-With Heyward out and the Steelers giving up 5.5 ypc last week, expect huge amounts of Chubb. Cleveland ran for 200+ last week.
There you are.
“Chubb Out!”*
*[Deanna instinctively reaches for the vibrator in the drawer beside her bed]
Who is the Stillers backup QB?
HE LOVES TITTAYS
Truth Biscuit, lol
What do you think Marshawn Lynch does all day? Whatever it is, I wish I could do it too.
Your classic NFL 16-11 score.
My scorigami sense is tingling
nobody makes sucking 95% of the time and be excellent 5% of the time, then make that 5% of the time count way more somehow, than the stillers
THIS GAME, I CALL IT A BAD DAY IN DESHAUN’S WATSON’S WORLD BECAUSE IT’S RUBBING ME THE WRONG WAY
Bob Kraft nods in solidarity with his fellow rub-n-tug aficionado.
At least the Browns acquired a chub before they lost one.
THE NEW IPHONE IS MADE OF TITANIUM!!!!!! GO STAND IN LINE AND BUY IT YOU FUCKTARDS
If I was to get one, I wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it being made of part me. (I have a titanium rod and 6 screws in my leg)
Does the titanium rod still pee the same?
It’s no inanimate rod.
And thus it cannot be trusted.
Fucking psyched for that Toy Story football game. Can finally beat it to Bo Peep while watching football, cross that off the bucket list.
You should probably know most of us can read.
lol sure you naive optimistic pollyanna
“Yeah, totally. Reading is important!”
–Lea Michelle
Bo Peep, more like Bo Cheap, she did everyone in that toy box.
Mormon in, Mormon out.
Is it-
A. A play by the Saints?
B. A quickie in Utah?
C. A reality series about a teen leaving the LDS?
zach wilson’s career QB1 status
When you run a Mormon through a wood chipper, the goo that comes out is still Mormon?
Mormish.
“I and I would be likin’ some mormon…” – Deanna Favre, on vacation in Jamaica
Still not sold on Uncle Jack.
a touched down has finally been achieved in aints/cats
I thought Darnold played in San Francisco now.
I had a 10 minute conversation with my mother today that didn’t end in an argument or hang up. Probably because I didn’t mention anything about the memory care facility.
If you’re forgetting to bring up important topics like that, I know a place where you can get the help you need.
Well, she had her treatment for her skin cancer – which is going great – so I decided not to bring it up.
Well, damn…glad to hear THAT’S going well at least.
“Forget it Spam, it’s Dementiatown.”
what is?
I hope one of these teams loses by a rouge.
“DeShaun, those are your stats for the game, we’re not massaging the numbers.”
Why would they call that, it’s not like DeShaun believes in illegal use of hands?
Maybe this Monday the NFL is celebrating 9/11 by showing two disasters with a slight time offset?
last week was a tribute to 9/11
this week its two disasters going on at the same time (afghanistan/iraq)
Jj Watt should be on the battlefield, not in the studio.
Cleveland to Kareem Hunt right about now
https://youtu.be/Mmm3KTa601s?si=DKAFDDNXFfQ6Sh0C
I have him rostered in my deep league!
WTF! Buck teases us with the injury replay then doesnt show it. We want to see it ALL!
DOn’t you ever put the image in my head of Buck teasing me. It makes me feel like punching myself in the face with a rubber mallet.
Knees are not made to move into that position. Brutal.
When you see a guy shake his head like that, oof.
Except when it was Q-aron because he can get right fucked
“Mine can praise Christ.”
-Kristi Noem, 21st Century Blowjob Queen
11/7 sounds like a scorigami and the most boring game to ever be televised on a Monday night.
bootleg backdoor 7-eleven that serves original four loko
The BIG CONVENIENCE STORE fix is in!
Saddest Chubb situation since Favre texted Jenn Sterger.
That sounds Theismann-level
Chubb went down harder and faster than ol’DubbleJ when the coke and viagra wear off.
GREAT. Dead Chubb, in the no-bench league.
I lost Williams and Chubb today in my $$$ league. Rodgers and Diontae last week. Apparently Hopkins is hobbled too. It’s all coming up Milhouse.
Imagine how hard God must be fucking with Brocky!
CLE/PIT reminds you:
preseason: fake preseason
weeks 1-4: actual preseason
weeks 5-16: actual regular season quality football
weeks 16-18: resting players/tanking
Uh, is there a third game I could watch?
Not till hockey season starts
SENATORS FOREVER!
What is the longest playoff drought in major North American sports, Alex?
The Canadian Senate is by far the biggest waste of money.
I would still recommend Aussie rules football replays
Not a catch.
What is a catch?
Good lord, both of these teams should be immediately executed, on the field if necessary.
You’re going to have to be more specific about the game you’re watching.
Yes.
OH MY GOD, what a game. Everyone is on peyote.
fiber supplements help, guys
That announcement was “we really don’t want to measure this shit but probably it was short”
Jesus Christ, we won a challenge!
my local abc affiliate in indy is, once again, broken. they used to broadcast nba finals games in, i swear, 540p and say HD. you could count the pixels on the scoreboard
every 2-3 seconds the game freezes like 2006 youtube
even the commercials are freezing so its not mickey mouse’s fault. fat humps cant run a tv station to save its life
Probably just a little gravy spill on the control board.
If Coach Epps wins this gonzo challenge…we should make him emperor
My favorite gonzo challenge was drinking a half bottle of tequila before noon, doing three lines of coke and getting that article to Rolling Stone before the 4 o’clock deadline.
Welp.
FARE is FARE, all hail Emperor Epps!
The Cleveland Whites
Chubb never, ever gets knocked backwards. The Fucker is on Hippo’s team in Freezer Vodka.
Jesus, did I even break 50?
Let’s just say that there’s a large disparity between expected points and actual points for the both of us, #spiritanimal.
TRUE HIPPO STORY – Hippo will only put fruit/compote or honey on his waffles. Honey or molasses on pancakes.
/this is why I am on Canadia’s “no fly” list
Cheez whiz and syrup on waffles. That’s the good stuff.
Your family is weird.
You just have bad taste. Don’t even appreciate aquavit and herring.
Our trees weep sweet syrup so that the world can enjoy pancakes and maple bourbon ribs and ice cream and so many more things. For shame!
I will occasionally put fruit on pancakes, but waffles require, nay, they DEMAND maple syrup!
Am I supposed to know who this fat fuck in the Door Dash ads is?
“Tired of watching the defensive battle between New Orleans/Carolina, well flip that channel and watch the, uh, defensive battle between Pittsburgh/Cleveland!”
-ESPN/ABC
“Matt Canada” is the most Canadian name since Gaspard LaFarge
Gordie NoStanleyCups
Jean-Guy Talbot Rubber Boot is my favorite Quebecois name.
Thicc Punter!!!
Four sex pests on the field!? I’m seein’ double here.
fuck, now I want waffles. And the nukular briefcase
The Cleveland Browns could fuck up a cup of black coffee, served on the floor
Isn’t that known as a Baltimore Espresso?
Told ya. MAXIMUM #ThePauls, they’s gonna keep on Pauling, too
CLE-PIT is going to be decided by the defenses, it seems.
Huh. Are you sure it’s not going to be decided by THE NARRATIVE?
/just kidding, even THE NARRATIVE doesn’t include Cleveland
From what I can see on Spotrac, Taysom will get ‘only’ about half of that 40mil contract he signed. Credit where due: MacAfee started yakking about what monies were actually going to be paid out on these contracts and that the big numbers served the interests of the team and the player’s agents.