A medical appointment and getting caught up at work means this post will be shoddier than usual. Enjoy the (shortened) ride.
Gah! Just gah! This game is not going to be pretty.
Silly Tidbits:
-Thanks to BFC for pointing this out to me. The Bears cut Nathan Peterman only to sign him again the next day. Bears front office playing 9th dimensional chess with other teams in the league? Nope, you guessed it, they screwed up. A beat writer has claimed that they needed to open a spot for a practice squad fella on another team but it didn’t happen. Embarrassing silliness aside, one could make the tired point that crappy qb’s just get recycled constantly. (I’ve said it before many times) But no, the fact is that NATHAN PETERMAN WILL NOT BE DENIED HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE AS THE QUARTERBACK ON THE SCOUT TEAM. THIS IS HIS DESTINY! Spotrac tells me he’s made about 7 million coins since being drafted-it’s a good job if you can get it.
-Burrow is still day-to-day and so is Redshirt.
-Cam Akers heads to the Vikes. The Mattison Era lasted a mere two weeks, though coaches say they still love their ex-president.
To The Game!
-The spread is 10.5.
-These teams have played 34 times in the regular season and they are tied at 17 wins apiece. So I guess the deciding factor would be playoff wins, correct? Uh, they’re tied at 4 wins each.
-Aiyuk is out and fantasy blabbers either say, 1.) Kittle going to have himself a day! or 2.) They have so many weapons it’s anyone’s guess.
-Danny Dimes rushing prop bet is in the area of 37.5 to 39.5. I think he’ll reach that just scrambling for his life, never mind designed runs.
-The only weakness of the Niners D seems to be longer passes outside the hashmarks-look for a few shot plays to Slayton and rookie Julian Hyatt.
-But really, with Saquon out and two starters on a below average o-line sitting out, this might be over as soon as San Franny gets up by two scores.
Poop.
lol airport restaurant dunking on David Brooks
https://twitter.com/ejenk/status/1705015678342766965
This is absolutely superb.
I don’t understand how anyone is taken seriously.
Oh the memories. Played with this all the time, left it out one night and woke up to find it covered in snow. Still worked.
Oh and as much as I hope we’ll all #neverforget Fronk’s joke, let’s keep our heads on a swivel for a new banner quote. It isn’t “too soon” to get a replacement up there.
Everybody is just waiting to see what criminal charges are filed against Alan Williams.
This was an okay game, it had a thousand pieces and was so loud I had to play it in the basement.
Contacts boss on company TEAMS,” I will be taking tomorrow off before my week vacation due to my child being a knucklehead and I want to spend the morning with him. ”
Texts me on personal phone “Take the day off, no charge. You did enough this week.”
I love my staff, I love my boss, I hate my gig!
what the hell “blocking” was that
And I’m already giving up on streaming this. Check in with y’all later.
Ah yes, 3-3 by the end of the first quarter. We’ve got a Thursday Night Football game here, people!
best first quarter this season by the gints by infinity!
Each NFL stadium should have three sharpshooters armed with high powered rifles that shoot tranquilizer darts.
Whenever a player over celebrates a simple accomplishment, they get tranqued.
These are the type of ideas that no one appreciates.
To really add some excitement, the visiting team can bring two snipers of their own, armed with darts filled with synthetic adrenaline to counter the tranquilizers.
Niners not going for it on 4th and 1 at midfield? FIRST MISTAKE.
I legit popped a boner when I opened this on Christmas morning.
“JJ put that thing away unless you wanna compare”
-FozzDad
He had a hammer. Ask my mom.
Oh I have.
Apparently my father was a legit horn dog
“Easy there, Westmoreland, this isn’t the Ia Drang Valley here!”
-FozzDad
Brock Purdy is Mr. Irrelevant is the new Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard which was the new Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.
Where does “Jimmy Graham played basketball” fall on this scale?
Big if true
Wait…
Jerome Bettis? The Bus?
Is from, DETROIT???
Did you know they throw fish in Seattle?
Alcatraz!
yay! Giants able to score points!
Dagnabbit, no halftime sleep bliss
why in the hell does new york have a player named lemieux with jersey # 66 and why is he not playing for pittsburgh
TNF en español!
Is Patrick Mahomes in every fucking commercial?
Well, they’re sure as hell not gonna put Favre in any fucking commercial.
But what about a PSA to the taxpayers of Mississippi?
“Favre will steal your tax money and wank his tiny peen in front of your daughter”
Ok Kafka, weave your magic and slowly turn Bosa into a bug.
pretty sure that cinnamon toast crunch commercial was ai generated
There’s an Audi commercial out there that definitely is.
Niners marching down the field so effectively I’m sure Leni Riefenstahl is behind one of the cameras.
One of the greatest fucking Christmas presents of all time. And yes, my cousin and I had fistfights while playing this game.
(aka: bears vs cardinals)
Is there a game you didn’t have fistfights with your cousins while playing?
My guess is Lawn Darts, for obvious reasons.
Definitely involves gunpowder.
We were playing Intellivision once, and he was the most annoying trash talker in the fucking world. I bashed him on the head with the controller, ripping it out of the console. Our mothers wound up getting in an argument over it – and we had to buy him a new console. Fucking dick.
Nope. We fought at least three times a day. He’s a great guy.
Put away the Russian’s Ukraine battle plan!
Putin going make so you fall out a window.
“this is ok tea, but it tastes a tad too plutoniumy”
Gumby was talking today about this vintage game. The first time he played it, he called a flea-flicker for a touchdown. His dad was pissed!
Tomsulas gonna have it like 40+ minutes tonight
Hey remember when noted spousal-abuse enthusiast Domingo German threw a perfect game earlier this season, right before he had to leave the team to deal with problem with the Demon Rum?
Anyhoo, Gerrit Cole’s pitching tonight. In the 6th inning. I’ll say no more.
Never mind
It must kill Bosa that he plays in a stadium named after a succesful Jewish person.
Top of this year’s list for Best Movie
gonna be hard to top “Huge Shark”
I am convinced we get Police Cops soon
I love horrible movies. Growing up, my father would be watching an absolute piece of shit movie and say, “Just wait, it’s going to get better.”
I’m sure Buddy would be willing to try.
So that’s what killed Tom Sizemore.
is that Sarah Huckabee Sanders debut.
How dare you insult that poor ape.
Niners didn’t score from on their first play from scrimmage-WE’RE STILL IN THIS!
How many times has Brock heard: “You got a Purdy mouth”?
That field looks like the aftermath of the Battle of the Bulge.
How many ACLs going to get shredded tonight?
Blame Bosa, he did a reenactment of the battle only the Nazi’s won
And now for the epic battle of Amtrak wifi vs trying to stream this game on my phone, with my dissolving sanity as the fading centerpiece of the story
You want a new idea for Survivor?
Here we go.
You put 12 people on an island inhabited by wild boars.
There are 10 spears available.
Now go survive.
Hope that guy’s OK.
I like how the thousand pound rock bounces off his head.
Have y’all seen Yellowjackets?
My son just gave my wife a request for a sandwich, it was so complicated that a deli owner would have shot him. Of course my wife made it for him. I ask for dinner, she throws a dried out pork chop on the floor.
[visions of Fozz and the dog growling and tugging back and forth on a piece of tough meat]*
*a thing that is dancing in my head
Today’s music sucks harder than Ginger Lynn on a coke binge
I figured out how to Amazon Prime on my teevee box WOO!! I don’t have to stop Footy Manager!!
It’s a pretty solid football presentation too.
And then again Al Michaels.
Why won’t he die?
“We have the same agent.”
— Henry K., DC
I don’t believe in miracles.
Can Dime Bag please get his shit together and win one for Spur.
Please.
I just hope he doesn’t get shot on stage again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0l3DP_k7wQ&ab_channel=ObsidianParadoxx
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tknXRyUEJtU&ab
I’m ready to be completely underwhelmed
Folks
What the Hell!?!?!?! How many Cowboys died today at practice? Did they really need to go that hard at practice for the Cards?
“The more dead Cowboys, the better.”
-joint statement from Doc Holiday and Crazy Horse
Remember the Alamo…fondly
So there is a game show for Pictionary. This fucking country is headed straight to hell.
And accelerating.
You misspelled “gone”
pretty sure they knew the strike was coming and had to do something*
*not involving paying writers
This writer’s strike may be the final push humanity needs to send us into the oblivion we so richly deserve.
Got home about 8 last night.
Still very much on Euro time.
Shit, had to do a grocery store run and 3 loads of laundry.
It’s beautiful today. 71 and a light breeze.
Porto is a LOT more humid but.
Bought a bottle of vinh verde at the duty free place yesterday and a pack of 6 pastel de nata.
Drinking a glass now.
What’s all this about a football game?
The air is filthy out here, but it was only mid eighties today. Fall is coming, I am ready!
Could big a big night for Deebo?
hes gonna make the giants his new bike
Redshirt’s Hopes for the 2023 Season (Artistic Interpretation)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a06DnDDVpZM&pp=ygUSYWwgYnVuZHkgc2t5ZGl2aW5n
Some guy on the radio called this ‘a scheduled loss’ for the GMen. If I could speak to him I’d say, “You’re right and fuck you!”.
Hey if this game sucks, go back and read my post from this afternoon (or all three in the BOTG series): https://doorfliesopen.com/2023/09/21/boots-on-the-ground-down-under-the-third-and-final-installment/
I loved that entire series and now I have to go see Free-o play.
Fantastic work my friend.
Have you ever woken up naked in a parking lot in another town and said to yourself “gee, I wonder how that happened?”
If I had a dollar…
“Hi, I’m Antonio Brown! These stories and more coming up on ‘Why The NFL Is Bad For You’!
I actually had a friend wake up in a gutter in Vegas.
True story
I picked the Saquon-less Vertically Enhanced Persons in my “Loser” pool tonight, so hopefully Santa Clara runs train on ’em. Bonus is extra sleepy time if the game ain’t competitive!
King Hippo can’t stop winning-what’s his secret? People want to know
Other Hippo HATES His ONE WEIRD TRICK!
stop calling the architect of 28-3 a “genius”
😗👌🏼
Wait didn’t they actually write that article already?
Yup, six years ago:
https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/policy-and-politics/2017/7/11/15952222/david-brooks-column-sandwich-twitter
(If that’s the whole joke I’ll sit in the corner and think about what I’ve done until kickoff)
Whaaaaaa 🤣🤣
Brooks was on Twitter today complaining that a burger and fries set him back $78 at the Newark Airport. He neglected to mention the very obvious, and very full, glass of booze he had with his burger, nor did he comment on how many of those glasses contributed to that $78.
Some internet sleuths got on it and it looks like he probably had 2-3 of them, with most burgers there going in the $17-$22 range. Suffice it to say Brooks has been getting dragged pretty hard.
Anyone else just have to drive two hours each way to visit an out of town office and get some papers and excel files because there is just not a way the personnel there could possibly transmit this all to me digitally?
So now I’m at the coffee shop doing my job. I’m a real Patriot that way.
THANK YOU FOAR UR SERVICE
No YOU have Mattison and Aiyuk on your team and need Purdy to put up a huge game tonight.
I pulled Aiyuk for Cort Sutton, but I am leaving Founding Fathers in (because my bench options consist of KHunt and Breece Hall against the P*ts – coming off a 4-touch performance).
“4 touch performance, what are you, some kind of marathon man?”
-Bob Kraft