Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

A medical appointment and getting caught up at work means this post will be shoddier than usual. Enjoy the (shortened) ride.

Gah! Just gah! This game is not going to be pretty.

Silly Tidbits:

-Thanks to BFC for pointing this out to me. The Bears cut Nathan Peterman only to sign him again the next day. Bears front office playing 9th dimensional chess with other teams in the league? Nope, you guessed it, they screwed up. A beat writer has claimed that they needed to open a spot for a practice squad fella on another team but it didn’t happen. Embarrassing silliness aside, one could make the tired point that crappy qb’s just get recycled constantly. (I’ve said it before many times) But no, the fact is that NATHAN PETERMAN WILL NOT BE DENIED HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE AS THE QUARTERBACK ON THE SCOUT TEAM. THIS IS HIS DESTINY! Spotrac tells me he’s made about 7 million coins since being drafted-it’s a good job if you can get it.

-Burrow is still day-to-day and so is Redshirt.

-Cam Akers heads to the Vikes. The Mattison Era lasted a mere two weeks, though coaches say they still love their ex-president.

To The Game!

-The spread is 10.5.

-These teams have played 34 times in the regular season and they are tied at 17 wins apiece. So I guess the deciding factor would be playoff wins, correct? Uh, they’re tied at 4 wins each.

-Aiyuk is out and fantasy blabbers either say, 1.) Kittle going to have himself a day! or 2.) They have so many weapons it’s anyone’s guess.

-Danny Dimes rushing prop bet is in the area of 37.5 to 39.5. I think he’ll reach that just scrambling for his life, never mind designed runs.

-The only weakness of the Niners D seems to be longer passes outside the hashmarks-look for a few shot plays to Slayton and rookie Julian Hyatt.

-But really, with Saquon out and two starters on a below average o-line sitting out, this might be over as soon as San Franny gets up by two scores.

Poop.

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SonOfSpam

lol airport restaurant dunking on David Brooks

https://twitter.com/ejenk/status/1705015678342766965

litre_cola

This is absolutely superb.

blaxabbath

I don’t understand how anyone is taken seriously.

jjfozz

Oh the memories. Played with this all the time, left it out one night and woke up to find it covered in snow. Still worked.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh and as much as I hope we’ll all #neverforget Fronk’s joke, let’s keep our heads on a swivel for a new banner quote. It isn’t “too soon” to get a replacement up there.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Everybody is just waiting to see what criminal charges are filed against Alan Williams.

jjfozz

This was an okay game, it had a thousand pieces and was so loud I had to play it in the basement.
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litre_cola

Contacts boss on company TEAMS,” I will be taking tomorrow off before my week vacation due to my child being a knucklehead and I want to spend the morning with him. ”

Texts me on personal phone “Take the day off, no charge. You did enough this week.”

I love my staff, I love my boss, I hate my gig!

fleshwound_NPG

what the hell “blocking” was that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And I’m already giving up on streaming this. Check in with y’all later.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah yes, 3-3 by the end of the first quarter. We’ve got a Thursday Night Football game here, people!

fleshwound_NPG

best first quarter this season by the gints by infinity!

jjfozz

Each NFL stadium should have three sharpshooters armed with high powered rifles that shoot tranquilizer darts.

Whenever a player over celebrates a simple accomplishment, they get tranqued.

These are the type of ideas that no one appreciates.

LemonJello

To really add some excitement, the visiting team can bring two snipers of their own, armed with darts filled with synthetic adrenaline to counter the tranquilizers.

jjfozz

I legit popped a boner when I opened this on Christmas morning.

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SonOfSpam

“JJ put that thing away unless you wanna compare”

-FozzDad

jjfozz

He had a hammer. Ask my mom.

SonOfSpam

Oh I have.

jjfozz

Apparently my father was a legit horn dog

LemonJello

“Easy there, Westmoreland, this isn’t the Ia Drang Valley here!”
-FozzDad

WCS

Brock Purdy is Mr. Irrelevant is the new Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard which was the new Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.

LemonJello

Where does “Jimmy Graham played basketball” fall on this scale?

Gatoraids

Big if true

WCS

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SonOfSpam

Wait…

Jerome Bettis? The Bus?

Is from, DETROIT???

litre_cola

Did you know they throw fish in Seattle?

LemonJello

Alcatraz!

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Spur

yay! Giants able to score points!

King Hippo

Dagnabbit, no halftime sleep bliss

fleshwound_NPG

why in the hell does new york have a player named lemieux with jersey # 66 and why is he not playing for pittsburgh

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

TNF en español!

Brick Meathook

Is Patrick Mahomes in every fucking commercial?

SonOfSpam

Well, they’re sure as hell not gonna put Favre in any fucking commercial.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But what about a PSA to the taxpayers of Mississippi?

SonOfSpam

“Favre will steal your tax money and wank his tiny peen in front of your daughter”

fleshwound_NPG

pretty sure that cinnamon toast crunch commercial was ai generated

Horatio Cornblower

There’s an Audi commercial out there that definitely is.

jjfozz

One of the greatest fucking Christmas presents of all time. And yes, my cousin and I had fistfights while playing this game.

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fleshwound_NPG

(aka: bears vs cardinals)

Horatio Cornblower

Is there a game you didn’t have fistfights with your cousins while playing?

WCS

Definitely involves gunpowder.

jjfozz

We were playing Intellivision once, and he was the most annoying trash talker in the fucking world. I bashed him on the head with the controller, ripping it out of the console. Our mothers wound up getting in an argument over it – and we had to buy him a new console. Fucking dick.

jjfozz

Nope. We fought at least three times a day. He’s a great guy.

Spur

Put away the Russian’s Ukraine battle plan!
Putin going make so you fall out a window.

fleshwound_NPG

“this is ok tea, but it tastes a tad too plutoniumy”

Gumbygirl

Gumby was talking today about this vintage game. The first time he played it, he called a flea-flicker for a touchdown. His dad was pissed!

16953429620226080119823852711156_1009577219220395(2).jpg
King Hippo

Tomsulas gonna have it like 40+ minutes tonight

Horatio Cornblower

Hey remember when noted spousal-abuse enthusiast Domingo German threw a perfect game earlier this season, right before he had to leave the team to deal with problem with the Demon Rum?

Anyhoo, Gerrit Cole’s pitching tonight. In the 6th inning. I’ll say no more.

Horatio Cornblower

Never mind

jjfozz

It must kill Bosa that he plays in a stadium named after a succesful Jewish person.

jjfozz

Top of this year’s list for Best Movie
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fleshwound_NPG

gonna be hard to top “Huge Shark”

King Hippo

I am convinced we get Police Cops soon

jjfozz

I love horrible movies. Growing up, my father would be watching an absolute piece of shit movie and say, “Just wait, it’s going to get better.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m sure Buddy would be willing to try.

Horatio Cornblower

So that’s what killed Tom Sizemore.

Spur

is that Sarah Huckabee Sanders debut.

Redshirt

How dare you insult that poor ape.

jjfozz

How many times has Brock heard: “You got a Purdy mouth”?

jjfozz

That field looks like the aftermath of the Battle of the Bulge.

How many ACLs going to get shredded tonight?

Spur

Blame Bosa, he did a reenactment of the battle only the Nazi’s won

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And now for the epic battle of Amtrak wifi vs trying to stream this game on my phone, with my dissolving sanity as the fading centerpiece of the story

jjfozz

You want a new idea for Survivor?

Here we go.

You put 12 people on an island inhabited by wild boars.

There are 10 spears available.

Now go survive.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Hope that guy’s OK.

Brick Meathook

I like how the thousand pound rock bounces off his head.

ballsofsteelandfury

Have y’all seen Yellowjackets?

jjfozz

My son just gave my wife a request for a sandwich, it was so complicated that a deli owner would have shot him. Of course my wife made it for him. I ask for dinner, she throws a dried out pork chop on the floor.

jjfozz

Today’s music sucks harder than Ginger Lynn on a coke binge

King Hippo

I figured out how to Amazon Prime on my teevee box WOO!! I don’t have to stop Footy Manager!!

yeah right

It’s a pretty solid football presentation too.

And then again Al Michaels.

Gumbygirl

Why won’t he die?

WCS

“We have the same agent.”

— Henry K., DC

yeah right

I don’t believe in miracles.

Spur

Can Dime Bag please get his shit together and win one for Spur.
Please.

yeah right

I just hope he doesn’t get shot on stage again.

LemonJello

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Spur
jjfozz

I’m ready to be completely underwhelmed

Spur

Folks

Spur

What the Hell!?!?!?! How many Cowboys died today at practice? Did they really need to go that hard at practice for the Cards?

Gatoraids

Remember the Alamo…fondly

jjfozz

So there is a game show for Pictionary. This fucking country is headed straight to hell.

LemonJello

And accelerating.

King Hippo

You misspelled “gone”

fleshwound_NPG

pretty sure they knew the strike was coming and had to do something*

*not involving paying writers

Horatio Cornblower

This writer’s strike may be the final push humanity needs to send us into the oblivion we so richly deserve.

yeah right

Got home about 8 last night.

Still very much on Euro time.
Shit, had to do a grocery store run and 3 loads of laundry.
It’s beautiful today. 71 and a light breeze.

Porto is a LOT more humid but.

Bought a bottle of vinh verde at the duty free place yesterday and a pack of 6 pastel de nata.

Drinking a glass now.

What’s all this about a football game?

Gumbygirl

The air is filthy out here, but it was only mid eighties today. Fall is coming, I am ready!

LemonJello

Could big a big night for Deebo?

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fleshwound_NPG

hes gonna make the giants his new bike

Redshirt

Redshirt’s Hopes for the 2023 Season (Artistic Interpretation)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a06DnDDVpZM&pp=ygUSYWwgYnVuZHkgc2t5ZGl2aW5n

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey if this game sucks, go back and read my post from this afternoon (or all three in the BOTG series): https://doorfliesopen.com/2023/09/21/boots-on-the-ground-down-under-the-third-and-final-installment/

yeah right

I loved that entire series and now I have to go see Free-o play.

Fantastic work my friend.

Brick Meathook

Have you ever woken up naked in a parking lot in another town and said to yourself “gee, I wonder how that happened?”

LemonJello

If I had a dollar…

Horatio Cornblower

“Hi, I’m Antonio Brown! These stories and more coming up on ‘Why The NFL Is Bad For You’!

ballsofsteelandfury

I actually had a friend wake up in a gutter in Vegas.

True story

King Hippo

I picked the Saquon-less Vertically Enhanced Persons in my “Loser” pool tonight, so hopefully Santa Clara runs train on ’em. Bonus is extra sleepy time if the game ain’t competitive!

King Hippo

Other Hippo HATES His ONE WEIRD TRICK!

fleshwound_NPG

stop calling the architect of 28-3 a “genius”

Don T

😗👌🏼
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wait didn’t they actually write that article already?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yup, six years ago:

https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/policy-and-politics/2017/7/11/15952222/david-brooks-column-sandwich-twitter

(If that’s the whole joke I’ll sit in the corner and think about what I’ve done until kickoff)

Last edited 1 year ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Don T

Whaaaaaa 🤣🤣

Horatio Cornblower

Brooks was on Twitter today complaining that a burger and fries set him back $78 at the Newark Airport. He neglected to mention the very obvious, and very full, glass of booze he had with his burger, nor did he comment on how many of those glasses contributed to that $78.

Some internet sleuths got on it and it looks like he probably had 2-3 of them, with most burgers there going in the $17-$22 range. Suffice it to say Brooks has been getting dragged pretty hard.

blaxabbath

Anyone else just have to drive two hours each way to visit an out of town office and get some papers and excel files because there is just not a way the personnel there could possibly transmit this all to me digitally?

So now I’m at the coffee shop doing my job. I’m a real Patriot that way.

King Hippo

THANK YOU FOAR UR SERVICE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No YOU have Mattison and Aiyuk on your team and need Purdy to put up a huge game tonight.

Last edited 1 year ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
King Hippo

I pulled Aiyuk for Cort Sutton, but I am leaving Founding Fathers in (because my bench options consist of KHunt and Breece Hall against the P*ts – coming off a 4-touch performance).

LemonJello

“4 touch performance, what are you, some kind of marathon man?”
-Bob Kraft