[Insert Clash Lyric Here] It’s Your NFL In London Early Morning Open Thread

Or is someone on the left coast going to insist that it’s still night? I kid, I kid. Well, here we are with the first of two straight across the pond at the heart and home of the finest of the colonial oppressors and also the first of five ‘away’ games out of country. (when are they going to schedule a game in Halifax, by the way?)

So what are you doing to fit in? Are you wearing your houndstooth cap? Perhaps watching one of those oh-so-cheeky-in-the-60’s “Carry On” movies? (check out the double entendres on Imogen Hassall!) Maybe backing a local warlord in Burkina Faso in exchange for the rights to mine some sweet, sweet manganese? I’m having a dibble wabbler with some pickled onion crisps on the side.

To The Game!

Falcons/Jags:

-That burgeoning offense which caused many a skilled player on the Jags to get a wee bump in your fantasy drafts is currently stuck in neutral. They’ve strung together games of 9 and 17 points scored.

-It might look a bit better had Ridley not dropped two TD passes last week. Oh yeah, this is one of those so-called ‘revenge’ games which now happens every single time a fella plays against the team he was traded from.

-There’d be no point in flying back and forth again seeing as they’re playing Buffalo next week here but I’d like to think that most players would just prefer to not be in Florida for two weeks.

-Temper your expectations for Bijan maybe a little. The Jags D are top 3 in Expected Points Added per play vs the rush. The DC’s motto is “Stop the run, then have fun”-meaning then pin your ears back and have at it with the QB. Whatever floats your canoe…

-There is one problem though. The Jags don’t do well in space. They’re sixth in missed tackles and don’t expect them to improve because that’s exactly where they finished last year.

-As you might have guessed, Desmond Ridder is a league winner…in turnover-worthy plays. Can’t help but think that the team could easily end up 9-8 or thereabouts with league average QB play.

Good Morning!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man do I hope THE NARRATIVE pencils the Chiefs out of the AFC Championship game in favor of a Miami-Buffalo matchup.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE GUYS THE PORTUGAL RUGBY TEAM I CALL THEM THE LAS VEGAS RAIDERS PLAYING AGAINST A QUALITY OPPONENT BECAUSE THEY GOT A QUICK SCORE AND BRIEFLY HELD A 7-3 LEAD AND MADE ME THINK THEY WERE GOING TO MAKE A GAME OF THINGS BUT ARE CURRENTLY DOWN 24-7 AND IT’S NOT EVEN HALFTIME YET.

Brick Meathook

I just looked at the Disney+ Toy Story broadcast, next to the ESPN+ broadcast.

What a hunk of shit. You people deserve what you get in entertainment VFX. I tried to help you. I’m going to devote my talents to faking news and history and you plebes will never know the difference.

yeah right

Just like high school, I missed another mandatory class.

Horatio Cornblower

I slept right through it and I regret nothing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[glances at own children Brittany and Breleigh]

“Man, I wish I had no regrets about some of the things I slept through.” – Deanna Favre

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Given how inaccessible the broadcast of this game was, it’s been downgraded to “optionally mandatory”.

Horatio Cornblower

I got up at 11:08 this morning, wandered out to the garden, and now I’m having scrambled eggs with peppers and tomatoes for, I guess, brunch.

Today’s off to a decent start, even if it’s also half over.

King Hippo

A Carlin reminder:

Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it’s all organised by the Swiss.

Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lover’s Swiss, the police German and it’s all organised by the Italians.

King Hippo

The singing of “Sweet Caroline” outside of BAHSTAHN should be grounds for immediate execution.

clint greasewood

Booger is talking about ayahuasca on the Toy Story cast

King Hippo

Every kid knows MOAR about drugs than almost any adult. But yeah, that’s odd.

Brick Meathook

I ENJOY DRUGS. HELLO, KIDS

King Hippo

He is very much going to kick a FG to cut the lead back to 10, if a 4th and short arises.

Redshirt
2Pack

If they can hold on and win this one, Prison Gurlfren has promised the OK line beans and bangers.

blaxabbath

I just checked on the Toy Story broadcast of the Jags game. Great tech. Very excited at the the future applications of just being able to listen to the 1985 Frank Gifford, O.J. Simpson, Joe Namath MNF booth team cover any event in AI.

Gatoraids

they have the director with finger on the dump button in judgement day mode in case any of them go Jimmy the Greek mode

Brick Meathook

I’d like to see Toy Story Chuck Bednarik destroy Toy Story Frank Gifford.

King Hippo

The Picture of Dorian Thompson-Robinson to start today. Adjust your #ThePauls expectations accordingly.

Redshirt

(reclassifies Browns from Complete Evil to Comically Evil)

King Hippo

I have totally checked out mentally from fantasy. And FFS, the byes ain’t even started.

Doktor Zymm

Truth!

Brick Meathook

Why are you surprised? She was a fucking whore.

King Hippo

George also had a cuckold kink ,, ppl forget that

Redshirt

For the last time, just because she showed her ankles and bangs doesn’t make her a whore!

Brick Meathook

“Guys, if you’re the Jags . . .” If you’re the Jags you wonder who you pissed off to end up here.

Doktor Zymm

Looks like there’s a bar with Red Zone about an hour walk away, might stroll over instead of watching the rest of this game… Although might watch this bizarre German tea time segment first

Doktor Zymm

Schnell!

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hippofant

Are they doing a British bit here?

Doktor Zymm

I assume so, and I’m very amused at the hideous floral lampshade they’re using to throw shade on the English

2Pack

They have a real tendency to go full up frumpy on the decor.

Doktor Zymm

Ja! Super!

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King Hippo

13 minutes of stoppage time for Praise Beesus to find a winner.

herodotus450

Shouldn’t the animation gimmick/inculcation broadcast be Wallace and Gromit themed instead?

BugEyedBoo

Okay, that was mean. Toy Story animation just showed the Falcon’s o-line as three traffic cones and a crossing guard stop sign.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m a little disappointed to learn that “road cones” as they are called over there aren’t visibly different from American ones.

King Hippo

Is Ridder being portrayed as a retSpecial Young Man?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[hears the words “Entire D”, makes dismissive wanking motion] – Deanna Farve

Doktor Zymm

THESE JAGURAS I CALL THEM THE RAF IN WW2 BECAUSE THEY ARE INTERCEPTING A LOT OF STUFF IN THE AIR OVER LONDON

herodotus450

And they’re both causing lasting, untreated, un-talked-about brain injuries for generations to come!

King Hippo

Guys, I am just not quite sure Desmond Ridder is a legitimate franchise QB, SoUrry for the HAWT TAEK.

King Hippo

(SPIRIT ANIMAL WOO)

Don T

The Caribbean Delegation checks in, buenos días. We’ve been here a while, just making the breakfast chores. Mandarory Mimosas* to follow within the hour. Stash Status: must replenish by CIN @ TEN, keep paint thinner locked until 4th QRT

* +/- half bubbly, top with GOOD passion fruit cocktail

King Hippo

Arthur Smith might be available soon, to re-unite with el Tractorcito

Don T

Hah. Good thing I keep the thinner under key. HIDDEN key 😉👈🏼

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s passion fruit season around here (and my own vine is growing nicely, though fruit won’t happen until next year). I was thinking of making passion fruit cocktails tonight, in fact.

Don T

Passion fruit is delicious. Passion fruit juice + any gin is bliss. With mezcal is 😛
The trick is making a GOOD passion fruit cocktail. You can either put the sseds in a colander and press awaywith a spoon (🎶no fucking way🎶), or liquefy evereything and then filter. The add enough sugar and water to nawt ruin it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve got two that I normally make – one is rum-based with lime and allspice dram, the other is gin-based with cardamom. For both I just dump the passion fruit innards into the shaker, mix it with everything else, and let the strainer do the work.

Brick Meathook

Let’s see some life on this DFO thread, kids.

Don’t make me come out there.

hippofant

It’s 9:30 AM mom. You’re lucky I’m not just going right to bed!

Brick Meathook

I’ve been awake for three fucking days, kid. Don’t forget to say hi to your mom, I put your allowance between her tits. God bless.

Brick Meathook

😀

Don T

/updates “Yo Mama” excel
//fills CREDIT cell with “Mine”

Doktor Zymm

MACHT YARDS!!

Doktor Zymm

Oh hey! I found the game on a German channel!
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Doktor Zymm

Today I learned that ‘football move’ in German is ‘football move’

King Hippo

but like, way MOAR aggressive sounding I bets

King Hippo

oh, they NOE they like it rough!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun Fact: The German version of Shan’Khor is Das Bootengott.

Fronkenshteen

Forest on a red!

Doktor Zymm

Looks like my hotel in Lisbon has lesser footy, bicycle racing, and snooker on the sports channels. Lol, gonna be a while before the NFL tries having a game here

Doktor Zymm

Oh, and an interview with the Portuguese kempo team

LemonJello

Let’s go DUUUUUUUUVVVAAAAAAALLLLLLL

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Brick Meathook

Is that Trevor Lawrence, the lanky redneck hippie hillbilly? I thought so!

King Hippo

In a shameful play for the DIRTY SOCIALIST YOUTH demographic, That’s Rikki’s Raiders! are starting AOC at quartered back.

Last edited 1 year ago by King Hippo
LemonJello

Are they wearing a memorial patch for Diane Feinstein? or is that only the Cali teams?

King Hippo

Trent Green is wearing his “Feinstein 90” kit. While standing in a pool of his own urine, as is custom.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I believe you mean a “large Farva” at quarterback.

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hippofant

Apparently in the UK, refs turn to the other side of the field.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They turn their backs on the penalized team as a mark of dishonor.

Brick Meathook

The key to a Blood Mary is celery salt:

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Redshirt

(turns on DISNEY+ feed for one replay)

Dr Cox – No – YouTube

King Hippo

The Jaguras just stay across the pond all week? They just said they play the Mafia next Sunday morning, too (NFLN this time).

Fronkenshteen

Sooo, “London Jaguars” very soon then?

LemonJello

You shut your dirty whore mouth!

But, yeah, probably inevitable.

King Hippo

as Shad Khan likes to say….Prepare Your Anus!

LemonJello

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Fronkenshteen

nd I have to say, Kay Adams boosting my .25 idiot parlay on FanDuel? That’s good marketing, Lou.

King Hippo

There is NOTHING we old farts like better than the pretend approval of an attractive young lady.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Since I cannot watch the game I’m watching this instead (which I’d not seen before):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5Zdp1RfoyI

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
King Hippo

What I always think of when I hear Bijan’s name:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl7eailGzo8

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I always think of Bijou Phillips, who is apparently, uh, newly single.

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BugEyedBoo

Watching the Toy Story animated version on Disney+. So far it’s been pretty underwhelming.

LemonJello

I would rather listen to Goofy call this game than Booger McFarland.

Gumbygirl

I’m here, what channel is this game on?

Brick Meathook

ESPN+ streaming. They’re trying to lure you in with a shitty game.

King Hippo

But you also get SO MUCH random Lesser Footy!

Gumbygirl

No no no nope! I’m not paying for that.

LemonJello

Exactly. I’m going with the Disney+ feed, even with Booger running his suck over everything.

BugEyedBoo

It worked great for hockey. Football not so much.

Gumbygirl

Not paying for that either!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Why Gumbygirl, you sounded like Mike Brown just then.”

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BugEyedBoo

College volleyball for us dirty old man volleyball fans.

2Pack

AFN Sports

You know we get 10 AFN channels now… including a Sports 2.

LemonJello

What a world we’re living in! Do you still get the state quiz instead of commercials?

2Pack

Several times daily

hippofant

Channel YAAARRRRRR!

Brick Meathook

I’m still up tonight and where is the London game? I have FUBO and Amazon Prime and I don’t see it. I could Google it, but you are my Google.

Brick Meathook

Dang, I also have ESPN+ and I never knew it. I really need to do an audit here.

Redshirt

I’m convinced there is no Income Crisis; its only everyone hasn’t realized they have unused subscriptions that take up 65% of their income.

Brick Meathook

5% of my income

King Hippo

They let Cassidy Hutchinson sing the anthem? Awful sweet of them.

Last edited 1 year ago by King Hippo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Falcons-Jaguars? It’s Thursday Night Football…on Sunday morning!

King Hippo

I think Inglen just did the DUUUUVVVVAAALLLLL shout!

Redshirt

I respect Mandatory Sunday Morning Football Open Threads but not enough to get ESPN+.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[pours straight gin into an unwashed glass, sits down on the couch]

Wait, this game isn’t even on real TV?

[downs gin in one gulp, goes back to bed]

ballsofsteelandfury

It IS fucking night!!

2Pack

And a good afternoon to you all. I get to see a couple in my time warp.

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Brick Meathook

I’ll bet Scotchy is referring to me, from yesterday. Oh those Canadian scampers!