Sated? No? Your Late Afternoon Open Thread

The fixtures just keep coming.

To The Games!

Pats/Raiders:

“Ugly” is a good word to describe New England’s outlook and their last two games. They’ve been taken behind the shed to the tune of 72-3 the last few times they’ve wandered onto the field. Things are bad when what had always been a strength-the o-line-can’t be counted on for even adequate play. Combine horrible pass-blocking stats with the receivers ranking 30th in separation rates (according to Next Gen Stats) and you’ve got a ton of issues that aren’t easily fixed. The Raiders meanwhile haven’t gotten to 20 points yet this year although I do like Jacobs receiving prop of 23.5.

Lions/Bucs:

One thing I like about a perennially bad team turning the corner is the number of watchable games on hand increases. Two years ago would you bother with this one? Probably not. Ok, how does Tampa have only the one loss? Smoke? Mirrors? Spiking the other team’s Gatorade? If Montgomery goes for 100 on the rushing front it’ll be the first time since ’98 that that has happened and I’m not going to bother telling you who did it. Jameson Williams likely breaks out this week because I played him last week. That’s how that goes.

Cards/Rams:

I don’t think either of these teams can stop the other so I’m going home team and the over. Who is Emeri Demercado? I think I saw him open for The Miami Sound Machine back in ’13. Hey Cooper and Puka, Arizonny’s secondary gives up the 7th-most fantasy points to wr’s. What say you bring that number to 5th-most?

Eagles/Jets:

My homework tells me that them Jets have never beaten Philly? Is that right? New York will have to put all their hopes on Breece for the W because Milf Hunter sure isn’t up to the task. I really can’t see a path to victory for the Jets. A.J. Brown is a solid bet to be the wr with the highest fantasy points this week given that Sauce is on the shelf. And good news for Hurts as well because the Jets D has problems with running qb’s.

Go for it.

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LemonJello

THESE JETS, I CALL THEM F-22 RAPTORS BECAUSE THEY WERE STEALTHY AND BEAT SOME EAGLES

Horatio Cornblower

/Flips on Jets-Eagles

//stares at score

Honey!! We’re in an alternate universe again!!

King Hippo

J-E-S-T, take what’s given!!

King Hippo

Some lovely derp to pay off all the shitshow viewing today.

fleshwound_NPG

this was a shit slate until…it wasnt!

King Hippo

Breece Hall scoring ALMOST got me to check Grimace Touched My Butthole’s score.

fleshwound_NPG

i get the “dont score!” argument

but this is the jets, are you sure they wont fuck up the FG?

Senor Weaselo

THESE NEW YORK JETS I CALL THEM MY DATING LIFE PRIOR TO SENORITA WEASELO BECAUSE THEY CAN’T GET TOUCHDOWNS.

Brocky

…. you were saying

Senor Weaselo

Boom… reverse jinx?

Brocky

It’s better than nothing

Senor Weaselo

I was going to make a joke involving this bar mitzvah I’m playing once they set up our lines, but I’ll save that for a tip drill.

fleshwound_NPG

break out the champagne, mercury morris?

Redshirt

Alright, its a tall order, but let see how the Jets screw this up.

Mr. Ayo

WTH was the Hurts?

Doktor Zymm

Oooh, that’s gotta Hurts

Brocky

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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

Do we have a goddess/god of injuries?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Asclepius is the Greco-Roman god of medicine. So…Suipelcsa?

LemonJello

SHANK’LHOR makes her presence felt once again

WCS

PRAISE SHANK’LOR

Don T

At a molecular level, AJ Brown incomplete

Redshirt

“Upon further review, the NFL Official Pantone Color Book shows the blade of grass the defender was on was closer to White than Green. Incomplete Pass.”

fleshwound_NPG

if ours was a truly civilized species grumblelord would be fired on the tarmac in just a few hours

Redshirt

The Legend of White Mac safety dances off into the sunset?

Mr. Ayo

Quick, grab Lowratio. It’s time for a SAFETY DANCE!

Doktor Zymm

SAFETY! DANCE!

King Hippo

we can dance if we wannu!

The Maestro

Been off in the words for most of this weekend. What have I missed, besides a shocking #ThePauls win??

King Hippo

You get to say a 2-minute drill for The Legend of White Mac!

/he’s probably praying they get an offside BLEERGH on the punt instead

Redshirt

In a twist, the Bengals defense bailed out the Bengals offense.

Doktor Zymm

Jameson Williams likely breaks out this week because I played him last week.

Good Call!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS COMMENT I CALL IT JJ FOZZ WATCHING AN EPISODE OF EMILY IN PARIS BECAUSE IT INVOLVES THE BREAKING OUT OF JAMESON.

King Hippo

free play not so free after all

Doktor Zymm

“This is just like that time they fooled me with that ‘free lunch'”
-A. Reid

Gatoraids

inspired by mobile games

fleshwound_NPG

me: these jets are good when the wilson/wilson combo is happening. just like the rock band heart

zach wilson: youre right *has a flashdrive full of nancy wilson pics*

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Doktor Zymm

Does Janeane have a back injury or a “back injury”?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I went to high school with Sauce Gardner’s brother, Consomme

Doktor Zymm
jjfozz

Did you hear about the wallet made of elephant foreskin?
If you rub it, it turns into a suitcase.

Neither of my sons found this funny.

I am a white suburban dad who has no life. Or hope.

King Hippo

nothing more hopeless than hope

jjfozz

Getting that tattooed on my chest in Old English font

LemonJello

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Redshirt

“I feed, clothe and give you shelter. You will laugh at all my bad jokes.”

I’m gonna make chili! – YouTube

jjfozz

the other day, one of those fuckers told me, “I bought this beer. It’s mine.” I nearly decapitated him with a spoon.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Amon Ra St. Brown the patron saint of weird names

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I guess if you have an Arabic guy as head coach, the best counterattack is to arm Zach Wilson and stick him on a motorcycle stolen from a kibbutz

King Hippo

and the blurst is yet to come (MANDATORY SNF)!

Doktor Zymm

But I will have shrimp fajitas by then!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well, that was arguably the best weekend of rugby in the history of the sport. If Internet Dad ever comes back with those cigarettes I’m gonna smoke one of ’em.

LemonJello

and the inability to edit comments for the hoi polloi?

Oh, and the backed up toilet behind the clubhouse armory.

fleshwound_NPG

this afternoon slatecomment image

King Hippo

choo-choo-choose Seppuku!

Doktor Zymm

This Eagles game is revenge for all those birds that got smashed against airplane windshields over the years

Senor Weaselo

Well, the P*ts have tied the GRIT SAWX for points in the month of October. Only took them to the third Sunday!

/The Red Sox played one game this month.

LemonJello

Sanchez wants to hit the clubs after the game with Zach because he knows there won’t be competition between them.

Senor Weaselo

They can wingman for each other!

King Hippo

ah, to be a third wheel and have that 23-35 demographic all to oneself!

King Hippo

VAR Brotherly Shove!

LemonJello

Jets fans in the crowd looking like they were asked to solve advanced calculus problems.

fleshwound_NPG

no jets fan has ever gone to calculus class

Senor Weaselo

Listen, just because I’ve forgotten integration by parts and which one to deem which…

jjfozz

But they are good with building blocks, except when they hurl them at the opposing team

King Hippo

plus, the Creamsicle kit!

fleshwound_NPG

first time in my life, as a fan of a team from the old nfc central days, that i have said “gee, that lions/bucs game seems like a big deal!”

Redshirt

BLEERGH minion ded?

fleshwound_NPG

so injured officials dont get fox injury music

Brocky

Good?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m not bothering with the afternoon slate but if Rachad White goes off I may pop in to scream into the void.

hippofant

These are … some afternoon games alright.

fleshwound_NPG

eat some, kyle shanahan

https://bagofdicks.com/

Brocky

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