Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none [in bed].
William Shakespeare

Pretty good advise Billy boy.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Thanks Hippo. Your do the tough analysis, so we don’t have to.

2Pack

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Dimes is getting sacked, not pressured or hit, sacked on 16% of his throw attempts.
scotchnaut

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Don T

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Is it foggy inside that dome, or is NFL+ just giving a shitty picture? I guess it IS a Raiders game so could be smoke
Doktor Zymm

HI I’M MARK DAVIS AND THERE WAS A LITTLE PROBLEM HEATING UP MY ARBYS IN MY SECRET CLUBHOUSE.
LemonJello

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Found a funny;

this is the rhythm of (borat voice) my wife
rockingdog

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No one fucks with my house with this savage cur protecting it

jjfozz

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I can only imagine a rumbling, sweaty herd of Packers fans galloping down The Strip, and every con man, hooker, and hustler is rubbing their palms and thinking, “I could take the next month off.”
jjfozz

Meanwhile the all you can eat buffets are trembling in fear
Doktor Zymm

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I just picked up a case with an adult male who stand 4’5″ and I am going to have to transfer it to another attorney because there’s no way I get through the deposition without bursting into laughter at the internal Lowratio jokes going through my head.
Horatio Cornblower

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Watching ‘Dawn of the Dead’ today, (I mean, I’m working, but I had that on in the background), because it’s a more upbeat story than the news, and there’s no baseball on. My wife walks in and says “You’re such a little boy.”

I begin to launch into a diatribe about why ‘Dawn of the Dead’ is bullshit because the undead move at a rapid sprint in this movie and seem to have come concept of planning and consequences and it is goddamn canon that zombies have neither of those and she spins around and says “save it, nerd” as she leaves the room.
Horatio Cornblower

Your foreplay is weird, but then I think we all knew that.
SonOfSpam

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https://abc7.com/space-shuttle-endeavour-rocket-motors-california-science-center/13888687/
Brick Meathook

Brick Meathook

Congrats to your mom on her new dildo
Mr. Ayo

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My anxiety is through the fucking roof today guys. I suspect I’m not the only one, from all the skirmishing happening on here. Everybody settle down, for fucks sake! Here is a picture that made me giggle.

Gumbygirl

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Watching AppSt v Coastal Carolina on ESP2.

No, YOU have a problem!
LemonJello

I’m watching Dancing With the Stars. Adrian Peterson is on. I’m too pooped to fight with my wife, or even leave the room.
BugEyedBoo

As long as they aren’t dancing to “Whip it”
Doktor Zymm

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Fractured Skull/Concussed Kid Update:

He’s said for the last two days that he wanted to go into work today. Wife and I tried to shut him down but he’s the stubbornest. I told the guys at work that he might show up. They were incredulous, of course. Welp, who punched in at 11am?

/he lasted 3 1/2 hours and then went home
scotchnaut

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I once found a 3 piece green suit made for a little person that fit my shoulders and waist [ for Halloween]. I went as a 6’2 leprechaun who clearly had a leprechauns suit.
litre_cola

/spends rest of afternoon explaining to Lowratio why this isn’t a hate crime and why I can’t file a lawsuit in Canada anyway.
Horatio Cornblower

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Brick Meathook

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The best Halloween costume I ever pulled off was my girlfriend’s Wonder Woman costume.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Sometimes, when your favorite team just shits the bed in the first round, you just need to take the boat out by yourself and realign your mind and body.

Brick Meathook

Alright, you lead him there, but did he drink it?
Mr. Ayo

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I’m taking Sharkette to her first hockey game next week. I’m stoked.
Sharkbait

(Monday morning)

WCS

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I’m tired.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hi Tired! I’m armed and hammered!
ArmedandHammered

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Sportsnet in Canada fellates the NHL as is custom but they have Cheaters vs Kirby Pucketts behind a paywall and are continuing to show Atl v phi. In light of the worlds issues is minor but fuck Rogers Sportsnet with a rusty screwdriver.
litre_cola

THIS NHL SEASON I CALL I AUTUMN IN THE WOODS BECAUSE THE MAPLE LEAFS ARE ALREADY DEAD AND FALLING FAST
LemonJello

Sweet baby Jebus, when are we going to get the edit function working again?
LemonJello

Never! Our mistakes will live forever!
Redshirt

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Sounds like my decision to watch Young Frankenstein instead of this game [TNF] after the Hockey was the right decision.

GIVE HIM A SEDAGIVE!
Sharkbait

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Brick Meathook

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TayTay and Russ have a lot in common both 5’11, had messy breakups with their previous management and getting sacked by a Chief tonight.
Gatoraids

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that 60+ got nailed so good nina hartley took pointers
fleshwound_NPG

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Al Michaels likes candy corn? Tha’ Fuk????
LemonJello

WCS

“…and that was the last time I allowed Eli to play ‘bartender’…” – Olivia Manning
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Pretty presumptuous of KC to think 3 points is all they need to beat Denver.
LemonJello

I mean, ACCURATE but just not very nice
King Hippo

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Jeebus, why is nhl.com’s Gamecenter worse?
Senor Weaselo

because putting all effort into removing very, VERY threatening colored tape on sticks was far, far more important
fleshwound_NPG

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So apparently walking around with a heavy backpack is a sport now. It’s called “rucking” and it seems I’ve been a practitioner for years
Doktor Zymm

DOK: [shows up at fella’s house with a giant heavy backpack] Ready to do some sport rucking, just like you proposed!

FELLA: [glances at phone] Damned typos.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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broncos country

fleshwound_NPG

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Welp. The NFL just made peace in the Middle East possible with that moment of silence. Good work,everyone!
LemonJello

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If you don’t like the heaviness or the mouthfeel of the cream, an interesting variant can be made with coconut water.
BeefReeferLives

SonOfSpam

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I’ve been to the gates of hell. It’s pretty neat. But it would be better if we shoved Jeff Bezos in there
Doktor Zymm

But how did you wind up in Newark in the first place?
TheRevanchist

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Don T

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You’re all going to be surprised at just how white the crowd is at a college hockey game in New Hampshire.

The ice has more melanin.
Horatio Cornblower

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I saw 3/4 of an areola at the grocery store today. Immediately made me think of all of you.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

What BFC’s omitting is it was one of his own manboobs, and he was told to leave by the store’s assistant manager.
WCS

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/found a funny

But what if your baby likes being alone in a hot car?
scotchnaut

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I was just watching an interaction between a CSU linebacker, (who was about to get tossed for targeting), and a water boy who clearly worshipped him. Reminded me of when my son was a JV baseball player his sophomore year and got called up to varsity for some emergency. He played well, and the next day one of THE varsity players, (played pro ball in Europe later), sees him in the hallway and says “Hey, nice game, Dan.” My son says “My name is (not Dan)”

Without missing a beat the other kid says “shut the fuck up, Dan.”

I thought it was hilarious, my son just figured he’d go by Dan for the rest of his baseball career, and my brother had to be persuaded not to go to the next practice and murder the other kid.

And in all fairness when they had tryouts the next year that kid made good and damn sure that my son made varsity.
Horatio Cornblower

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Just a little helmet to helmet.
2Pack

No eye contact, it’s not weird!
King Hippo

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Who knew?

2Pack

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Games like this Cleveland -SF tilt make me think the NFL should be paying DFO, because if it weren’t for hanging our here making dick jokes there’s no way I’d be watching it.
Horatio Cornblower

Hiring DFO would be among the least-offensive things THE SHIELD has done in six decades.
WCS

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15 years ago this week

Brocky

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Is it Thursday night? We got work tomorrow, color rush uniforms, and terrible football [SNF].
Mr. Ayo

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WOOOOOOOO!

/Walks into the clubhouse with the traditional bandana around wing-wang
//But also, a suit shirt and jacket because I’m on the clock.
///Also, just the tip, because bar mitzvah!
Senor Weaselo

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What happens if a NFL team is unable to field a full team?
Doktor Zymm

I’m not sure of all the rules, but Janay Rice apologizing is definitely one of them.
Horatio Cornblower

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https://twitter.com/normcharlatan/status/1713704547170844951

Horatio Cornblower

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Tirico: “Cris, the Giants are riddled with injuries. How do they stay in this game?”

Cris: (long pause). “Mike, I’m gonna be honest here: they don’t. There is no reason to watch this game. Turn it off, read a book, go for a walk, spend time with your loved ones. Time is fleeting and there is no reason to spend any of it watching this deba…”

Horatio Cornblower

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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