It’s the opening offering of week 8! Can you believe it’s week 8 already? (lousy running joke is lousy) The trade deadline is coming on Tuesday and there’s plenty of scuttlebutt. Let’s take a look.
Tidbits:
-Mill of Rumor: The Ravens are reportedly mad about King Henry because Bus Edwards, Hill and Gordon aren’t cutting it. The run game looks good but that’s because Lamar! is responsible for 35% of it which is too damn high! One problem is that the Ravens don’t have enough cap room so they’ll have to send some player back to make it work.
-Vrabel has indicated that he’ll play both Willis and Leavis this week. Dude must be secure in his job because that reeks of desperation. It always works, that’s why it’s used so often!
-There are no teams on bye this week because the NFL sked makers are clowns.
-Get ‘Em While They’re Hot!-Or underperforming, or without a contract, or unhappy, or don’t fit the scheme, or need a change of scenery or have lived out their usefulness. Those on that list include Hunter Renfrow, Jerry Jeudy, Mike Evans, Austin Ekeler, Zack Moss, Chase Young and a few others.
To The Game!
Bucs/Bills:
-Does this not strike you as a weird game? When I saw it I was a bit taken aback. I had no reference for these teams together. And you know what, Tampa has been around since ’76 but this is only the third time they’ve wandered over Buffalo way.
-Both teams come into the game with records that are a bit surprising-Buffalo has lost 2 of 3 and struggled against the Giants and the Bucs just seem like a 1-5 team. Maybe that’s because I don’t follow them too closely.
-Progress!: After being very last in the league in 2022 in rushing yards per game the Tampa brain trust sat down, went over all the analytics, took a good hard look at the offense and vowed to make changes. And you know what? It worked-they’re 29th so far this year.
-You may want to sit James Cook-the Bucs stop the run to the tune of allowing only 95.8 ypg.
-The Bills just might open up the offense tonight because they have no choice. You see, they’ve been playing 12 personnel (2 tight end looks) most of the season but tonight they have only Dalton Kincaid at that position. Let those balls fly!
As far as your balls? Fondle ’em if you got ’em.
the bills being a super bowl contender was a fun three minutes
Cool, somebody got their Allen pic prop.
Praise Gamblor!
My son and I did. He came racing up the steps screaming like a porn star.
FAT MAN INT
A fiery punter, I like that.
Alright, that’s all she wrote for me, which I think means that’s the under.
Ooh, I hope the kicker gets ejected and we get to watch emergency kicker hijinx!
One of the conversations with my sisters today ended with, “Fuck Thanksgiving. I’ll stay the fuck home and get hammered with my own family.”
Things are not going well
Sounds like Thanksgiving should go well though!
With time to marinate for Christmas.
Both of my sisters, and mother, will play the guilt card. “This could be dad’s last Christmas.” “Oh, so you’re going to your in-laws?”
I’m deciding what we’re doing for the holidays this year. I’m so fed up with these people, the last thing I want to do is spend time with them.
“Fuck Thanksgiving I’m staying the fuck home.” was Dalton Kincaid’s first release with his ska band. really popular in Hartford.
Followed by “You Can Suck My Dick Like a Candy Cane this Christmas”
lol he pump faked like five fucking yards beyond the line of scrimmage headed to the endzone and defenders were fucking biting on it
of course the “lebron james” play is a flop
22 years of being married. Mrs. Fozz is the luckiest gal alive.
Mrs. Fozz: “That lunkhead misunderstood when I said I wonder what I did to deserve this.”
“He was imperfect before he married me, now he’s finished.”
/Rodney Dangerfield ftw
Dalton Kincaid absolutely sounds like the skiing douche villain in an 80s movie.
Or the lead singer of a ska band out of Delaware.
at this rate al is gonna talk about the spread and/or the over/under with 11 minutes left in the 3rd and hit the sauce shortly thereafter
Yeah, “after.”
Are the Bills nawt good?
No matter how bad this game gets, it’s still better than watching the combination of grief porn and looming genocide that’s on the news!
Accurate
I have a good friend who is an orthodox jew, half of his family is in Israel. I’ve been emailing and texting him.
I said, “I’ll pray for you, even though I’m Catholic, I think they’ll still count.”
He replied, “Thank you, that’s the first time I’ve laughed in weeks.”
Wait, is he part of the Baltimore community for the gig that I was supposed to do that one time but got canceled?
/Was I going to be given a hotel for the night for that gig? Nope!
Yes, there is a very big, and vibrant Jewish community in Baltimore. Our best friends growing up were Jewish, and I’ve been to every conceivable ceremony. Also, I learned that Jewish girls are not only hot, but they see goyim as forbidden fruit. Which worked out a few times.
When I was a kid the family of a friend of mine converted from Reform to Orthodox and moved up to Baltimore. Before they moved they would have us over for seder and that’s how I learned a bunch about Judaism!
I’ve been known to “stiffen in the red zone”.
https://youtu.be/Uab2BlDpPxQ?si=0gaIAkbm5B-ncjwt
I loved making models as a kid. My parents encouraged it to help me with my patience and temper.
I saved up and bought this model. And it was fucking impossible to put together.
How impossible?
Well, I flew into a rage, was building this in the family room, grabbed a piece of wood from the fireplace, and smashed the fucker to bits.
Grounded for two weeks and nearly decapitated by my father.
me in august: the nfc south is gonna be tank division. 8-9 takes the crown
me in september: huh, they might not be half bad
me days before halloween: falcons in 1st place? i shoulda said 7-10
Cum lenta exitum habet, lentus ite bibendi
How have neither Buddy nor Balls replied to this yet?
This is what Google translate made of that:
When it’s tough to get out, go tough to drink
holy fuck, SillyCuse. How’d y’all ever win 4 games???
Thế giới là một nơi cay đắng và xấu xí. Đó là lý do tại sao tôi uống
Without checking Google translate, Imma take a guess:
“You want numbah one fuckie, GI?”
That wasn’t Diggs.
Looking Wirfs for wear
MRSA without their LT, I am sure the game will get SUPER GREAT now
There’s someone out there who has a fetish for watching Baker Mayfield get hit who just said the same thing without being facetious
Je déteste ce monde, il est plein de connards qui foutent en l’air tout le monde.
Fozz has seen too much Emily in Paris
I read this comment in black and white
Smoking a cigarette. In a beret.
Tu n’es pas faux.
done watching ice donks/ice stillers
ice donks got the road win record and have disconnected the controller to score some cheap yinzer weed
SHAN’KLOR’s demi-god minion blocked kicks needs a name.
SHANK’HLOR is in Buffalo tonight
“you know something about crowds? They’re loud.”
Thanks Al, go take a nap.
https://awfulannouncing.com/high-school/bishop-sycamore-scheduled-to-play-a-football-game.html
Football herpes is back!
Fuck Tom Brady with Giselle’s syphilitic dick.
That’s my exact fetish
That’s only because you can’t spell gonorrhea.
I wonder how long this game can hold my attention before I say fuck it and try and go to sleep early. Over under at halfway through the second.
SAME. And I went to bed before 9p last night.
Is it something we said?
The siren song of #4thpill?
“So, Middle Fozz Spawn, what was that fight on the field about?”
“That dick hit our running back late.”
“What did you say to him?”
“I said, ‘Pick on someone your own size, like me. I’ll fuck your bitch ass up.'”
He was penalized, but so was the other kid.
Proud moment.
Baker Mayfield should use his money to pay an army of mercenaries to fucking pillage Cleveland for how they fucked him. I mean, he had a hand in it, but fuck the Browns.
Wagner Group spokesman: “Cleveland? Nyet.”
Both the Broncos and the Browns are between these teams in alphabetical order
https://giphy.com/gifs/ForbesTheCulture-culture-forbestheculture-forbes-the-WfBZwNA6XSjphkYkzN?utm_source=media-link&utm_medium=landing&utm_campaign=Media%20Links&utm_term=https://giphy.com/
I spent the drive to the farm this morning listening to Bay Area sports radio and they spent a bunch of time making fun of how angry east coast sports radio people are. It was pretty great.
YOUSE LEFT COASTERS CAN GO FUCK YASELVES RIGHT FUCKIN NOW. FUCKING PUSSIS
I’d love to see an AI learn Hippo-speak and Fozz drunk/rage talk.
And then ask it to write a self-help book or a series of hymns.
that calibre AI would TOTES take over the world
If that happens, someone better pay me or I’ll create my own AI out of cigarette butts, bourbon, spoiled wine, and hate
Spoiled wine? It gets a spa day?
Thoughts on this parlay?
White under 45.5 rush yds, cook over 54.5 rush yds, Allen over .5 INT
Praise Gamblor obv.
I like it, which means you should probably do the exact opposite.
Both of my spawn approve – they should know because they are constantly on draft kings
Daughter just called from the store “Mom texted me and asked me to pick up beer…what kind do you want?”
(wipes tear) I love this family
Whose is it?
Dunno, I just showed up and haven’t left yet.
You sneak that one off the boat, Brick?
We made our own hooch on the boat; it’s meaningless otherwise.
Way ahead of you there, buddy.
Rikki right now (Artist concept)
YOU HAVE NO BALLS BECAUSE THE DEVIL DOESN’T NEED BALLS AND YOU ARE THE FUCKING DEVIL
oui oui mon chere
Which of those words means Emily?
Il n’y a pas de mot dans cette phrase pour Emily. mais on pourrait la traiter de merde insipide qui devrait être bouillie vivante. il faudrait faire la même chose avec rikki tikki
I see that you already have a better command of français than Emily managed during her time in Paris.
I know she’s an actress playing a part, but something tells me the world would be a better place if they upped the French authenticity by having her legs guillotined. In real life. On pay per view.
Yes.
Vita Vea Vegamin ain’t playing, so smoke James Cook if you got him.
He’d probably like that.
hypnotic
I might just get shit ass drunk tonight.
This has never been the wrong plan for me, Hippo noes DAT
“might”
Also, ran out of my meds that “stabilize my mood”, so I am extra ornery right now. My patience can be measured in micro millimeters. Someone gonna die tonight.
SOMEBODY HIDE HIS CIGARETTES AND/OR VAPE
LET FOZZ RAGE
Unrelated, do you think farting in this Lyft is going to hurt my rating?
Are you the driver or the passenger?
Start or sit Rachad White? I don’t see him as a better option than Breece Hall or Jahmyr Gibbs, and I don’t see him edging out Olave or Christian Kirk in the flex.
I like all those guys more than Rachaad. MAYBE Olave, since the Aints passing game looks kinda bad.
Nah, bench Rachaad.
(Prediction not guaranteed, consult local listings)
I am sitting him (for Breece and KHunt Punt), so you KNOW WHAT TO DO,
White hasn’t topped 40 yards rushing in 3 of his last 4 games.
It’s the “when he randomly catches 6-to-8 checkdown passes” that keep him in contention. That and his backups being shittastic.
Am I starting Godwin just so I have a reason to stay awake? MAYBE!
Surprisingly, I have skin in this game. RBs for both teams. Go running game!!
I could elevate Rachaad White in Math Is Hard. The alternative is…Cort Sutton.
30th ranked RB v. 30th ranked WR on Rotowire. You see how Hippo be 3-4.
& re: -“There are no teams on bye this week because the NFL sked makers are clowns.”
Barack HUSSEIN Obama FOAR Commissioner!
/he’d probably be really good at it
And bonus! It would really piss off Condi.
I was just texting Litre “I just cannot figure Tampa out” then I read #SpiritAnimal’s preview and he be all liek same difference, yo.
“As far as your balls? Fondle ’em if you got ’em.”
Always do!
Alternative joke:
Are you speaking to my girlfriend? If so, thank you!
Welp, as I’ve publicly stated I want lil Baker to do good because I feel that the Stains did him dirty (yeah, yeah, phrasing) by playing him hurt before ditching him – he is fucking doomed.