Hey guys, it’s time to do that thing again and we have a full complement of tilts to do it with. Why does not a single team have a bye at the halfway point of the season? I’ve not a clue.
To The Games!
Pats/Fins:
Hopefully this gets ugly early which would mean New England has to fight from behind which they are ill-equipped to do. One way for Miami to get ahead is to continue to employ screen passes-they’re very effective doing so and guess what, the Pats are the very worst in the league at defending that play. Though the latter is good at playing the run, can they stop a bulldozing Fins squadoo that churns the yards out at 163 on average and 6.3 per?
Jets/Giants:
Dueling dumpster fires it is! (though both are coming off wins) Don’t be surprised if The Mother Lover has another good game because he excels vs man coverage and the Giants swing that way more than only five other teams. Also in the Jets favor is that they get both starting corners back from injury-so take your finger off that Wan’Dale Robinson ‘start’ button. You should play Waller though because the Jets can’t defend the tight end and Darren has cobbled together two good games.
Jags/Steelers:
From the Hard To Believe file: Cal Ridley hasn’t caught a pass over the middle of the field yet this year. Jacksonville has given up nearly 2,000 yards thru the air after seven games-luckily for them, Pickett would be the very last pick were you to be playing flag football in your back yard. Etienne should have a day vs Pitt’s 28th-ranked run D.
Falcons/Titans:
Gah! Both these coaches are stuck in the 80’s and are ranked 25th and 29th in scoring per game so expect this to be the horse-racing equivalent of a ‘mudder’. Expect to see cowardly punts on 4th and short and three yard passes on 3rd and 5. That’s just what Smith and Vrabel do these days. Hopefully the pre-game watercress sandies don’t trigger a Bijan tummy ache or migraine.
Texans/Panthers:
Houston is .500 somehow (maybe it was that ambush of Pitt?) and the passing game is on point. Their Expected Points Added while throwing is .14 but while running it craters to -.12. Stroud has been increasingly sending balls Schultz’s way, including looks in the endzone in three straight affairs. Stream Time!
Rams/Cowboys:
Dallas has a 10-game home winning streak and the Rams are somehow 2-1 on the road with a 3 point loss at Cincy as well. They continue to be a hard out because Puka and Cooper dominate the middle of the field-you can’t stop both of those chain-movers so take your pick. There’s quite a bit to mock McCarthy about but his 11-5 post-bye record is not one of them.
Vikes/Packers:
Oof! Minny has yet to score a rushing TD. Their game hope? (not plan, hope) It’s to score early and often and Green Bay just might capitulate, given that they’ve been outscored 63-6 in the 1st half of their last four games. Rb Jones is out so Dillon gets another chance to prove that he’s not a washed up washerwoman.
Saints/Colts:
Minshew Mania giveth and taketh away-the O has produced a more than respectable 58 points (acceptable) and 8 turnovers. (not) That latter stat needs some serious correcting but can they alter that vs a Saints D that has generated 12 takeaways so far? Will mouthy emo qb Carr call out his wr’s on the field again? No wonder the passing game is suffering. Carr has had back-to-back 50 attempt games. How has that gone? Every qb that has thrown 50+ balls this season (nine of them) has lost.
Eagles/Commies:
Beware the big play-Philly has 29 20+ yard plays and Washington has given up 34 so far. (AJ Browns ears are ringing right now) Will Howell survive the season? He’s been put on the ground 40 times already and as we’ve learned by seeing Dimes get crushed over and over again, the law of averages is going to catch up to him. And if it doesn’t he’ll have been sacked 100+ times by season’s end. AJ has five straight games with 125+ yards-if he gets another he gets the record.
Get out there!
Do I have another drink and make driving to pick up a pizza interesting, or tell my kids tough shit?
So my mother in law’s family – ignorant Trumpers who are “Christian” as long as you’re white – are having their fall fest today. i told my wife, “Yeah, not going.”
I’m happy, not because I didn’t have to go, but because I won’t have an aneurysm hearing people talk about how Biden was behind the current Palestinian – Israel war.
“He did it to get Jewish votes.” That’s an actual quote from those fucking dingbats.
Hey, look at Adoree Jackson losing the game for the Giants.
Why didn’t they just declare this Jets v Giants game a tie at the end of regulation? Feels like making it go to overtime is a Geneva convention violation or something.
at this point, im pretty sure that treaty thing doesnt exist anymore
Fox just switched me, a CT resident, from a Giants-Jets OT game to the beginning of the 49ers-Bengals game.
I mean, I’m probably better off, but it’s still a weird decision.
Overtime in New York? Wasn’t 60 minutes enough punishment for the viewing audience?
now the whole nation getting “bonus” coverage
yay, local cbs kicking the ny toilet bowl aside for bungles/niners coverage
I came home from the gym and turned the TV on and saw the coin flip for OT. Thought the game was just starting.
Judging from what the announcers are saying, I’m not sure the teams playing have realized that it’s started either.
I feel like it would be kinda fun if they did something to make onside kicks more like a 7% or 8% play rather than closer to 1%
DDUUUUUVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
theyre gonna almost clinch that division before thanksgiving
Dumb timeout by Daboll with the Jets scrambling around to get the field goal set up. Now they get to organize. What a putz. And right thru the uprights.
does tittykisser make his move on that lady ref post game y/n
Maybe.
MILF Hunter Z? Without a doubt.
dont think she has a kid. but when she does, you bet he floodin those dms
Bad Gnu! Bad!
Well, color me surprised that the Commies made it even slightly competitive! This one was permanent markered as ‘L’ as soon as the schedule came out
Jesus Fuck-Shaheed averaging 51 yards a reception. (on 3 catches)
lol, KPT … Kenny Pickett Time.
Come on, now. Sir.
[rolls over in his grave]
-Stanford Fleming
I failed to get a picture of a Ravens fan this morning, but I will try to paint with words.
Ravens hat
Lamar jackson jersey
faded purple camo shorts
white socks with ravens logo
white Nikes, raven themed
His wife was carrying a Steelers chair
No ‘House divided’ t-shirt? Smh
They appear to be the common garden variety Baltimoreans – good people with horrible fashion sense.
Hocky getting a hat trick would help me immensely.
Rams kicking a field goal in the 4th quarter. smgdh…
I declare my allegiance to Will Levis, Finance MA, solid son-in-law material.
Kirkie gone now as well?
There’s the Truth Biscuit we all know and love. JFC.
Can’t blame him for throwing it right into the cleavage of the defense.
that warm, soft, bouncy, well rounded coverage
Titty Kissed Turnover! DUUUUUUVAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!
Falcons uave more men in the box than the IDF.
mmmm thats some good tittyception
Picked up Shaheed this morning and put him on my bench.
I don’t look at the dings, scratches, and tears on my car with misty eyes about memories. I shake my head and curse my children and every asshole on the road.
Commercials are shit.
“That door corner from the mall’s parking space on Dec. 23, after a day of work. No rust for 5 years, praise Baby Jesus
“Whoa, that huge streak of dirt, sticks, leaves, and mud from the front of the hood to the back of the car, I must have been hammered while driving back roads to my parents’ house.”
I had a lot of explaining to do when my parents woke me up and showed me the car.
I lied so hard I pulled a muscle.
No outside blood or hair, better come with a warrant fuzzo!
I get weepy at all the depreciation.
Daboll with the run up the middle on 3rd and 8-he turned into Tom Coughlin, Pat Shurmur, Ben McAdoo and Joe Judge so slowly I didn’t notice.
reminding everybody that he too is from the shitty belichick coaching tree
Harrison with an ole move on Watt.
Levis to the tent, Titans to the tank.
Ooooh Malik
[Lighter strikes]
Huh, big push for this OCD drug.
You could be cruel and make the pills different colors and doseages, and then include a pill organizer that doesn’t have enough compartments.
Damn it, Steelers. Quit doing the impressively good hustle plays! When I think good on you guys, my soul burns.
TITTYDOWN
Tannehill watching Levis today and checkin to see if Tennessee has red flag gun laws
“No, officer. He was stealing my job. Its justified.”
Levis to Hopkins. Again! Ave, Gamblor, yours is the power and glory, amén.
those throw back unis powering the tits
Perky look fo sho
Ugh.
DDDDDUUUUUUUUUUVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL
DEVITODOWN!
/damnit, he was on my bench
Saquon running roughshod on the Jets was not on my list of possible likelihoods.
Which QB is in for the Stillers?
Hint:
That is marvelous
Diora Baird, for those that want to know
Her Playboy pictorial was faptastic!
And Uncle Jack is now out with a “rib injury.”
DEADLY HOUSEHOLD: [are leaving for vacation in a few days]
DR. MRS. DEADLY: Let’s go grocery shopping!
Just finished “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Amazing.
Jordan Raanan
@JordanRaanan
Tyrod Taylor out with a rib injury. He’s been taken to the hospital for further evaluation. #Giants
Well, that ain’t good.
He’s had a run of bad luck with rib injuries.
“Proper stretching is why I’ve never had a rib injury.” – Coach Reid, interlacing his fingers and cracking his knuckles
I want to punch every single announcer who keeps fucking saying Tush Push in the gotdamn throat.
How about Brotherly Shove?
The Gay Play?
the butt plug?
I calls it the Rolling Tank and will continue
Looks like Matthew Perry’s career . . . is all washed up. See you in hell.
Life (and the Jets pass rush) comes at you fast, Tommy D.
Dr. Mantis Tobaggon!
Thanks for the do over FG. The derp is strong with these guys.