Only three fixtures here in this window but one of them is a doozy. Of the Giants and Raiders, which will be that much closer to .500 when all the dust settles? An expectant nation awaits…
To The Games!
Colts/Panthers:
It’s a Frank Reich Revenge Game! Fantasy owners were non-plussed to find out that Moss wasn’t sent to the bench when JT got back. Things are a bit better now that Taylor has the lion’s share of carries but also gets pretty much all of the passes out of the backfield. Still, Moss is the favorite down at the goal line and isn’t going away. There are points to be had here because the Colts have given up an average of 38 during their three game skid. T’is a sneaky ‘over’ game in my eyes. Plus there’s the fact that Carolina can’t stop the run at all.
Giants/Raiders:
New Vegas coach Antonio Pierce seems a good fit for the franchise. He was a key part of the Giants monumental 2007 upset of the Pats. A curious thing: he left his dogs alone for an entire week with a bunch of food and not enough water. He was making about 10 mil a year at the time but dogsitting was too much of an expense? Also, he was Plaxico’s right-hand man when the guy shot himself-drove him to the hospital as they formulated a plan for Burress to give a false name and for Pierce to hide the gun. Did he eventually realize his error and surrender the firearm? Nope, the cops had to come to his house and retrieve it. Great guy. He’s got ‘Interim’ written all over him.
Cowboys/Eagles:
Parsons only has six sacks to his name so far but the advanced stats say that will change. His current pass rush win rate is the highest ever recorded at 33.8% since the stat was created in 2017. On top of that, his pressure rate of 18.1% is only the 2nd best ever achieved. The sacks will come. Crouched in his way is Lane Johnson and his fantastic 93.1 pass block win rate. It should be an epic battle when they’re across from one another. I’d take the over on the Hurts rush prop because he’s going to get flushed from the pocket a few times. DAK! has killed it in division-his record of 28-7 is third behind Patty and Throw Rogan. Each team averages 28 a game so bet the tie.
Go Giants!
You get sacked, Dak, and don’t you drop back no more no more no more no more
https://giphy.com/gifs/space-ham-juDuRdAjXoH9m
My sister in laws TV apparently has a parental setting to nuke the wifi at 6m so their kids can’t watch TV after that. Thanks for the heads up on that one.
Burning their house to the ground is justified.
Tell the police your imaginary law-talkin’ buddies said it was fine.
[nods in agreement]
-David Byrne
At the very least a penalty shot from the redbreast 12 year is in order v
What bullshit.
It would behoove the Iggles not to give the ball back to the N-GCp
it would behoove Fox to switch over from this 30-6 blowout but they’ll be damned if they do.
Nobody believes in behoovery no MOAR
They seem to not agree with this strategy.
It’s a bold strategy, let’s see how it works out.
Shame bet is doing its work, Birds!
ouch dak
DeVito has no idea what he’s doing out there.
He said “I’m just gonna get REAL WEIRD with it”
To be fair, that tends to happen to undrafted free agents that are pushed into the most important position on the field with virtually no notice.
Yeah, I’m not blaming him at all.
These VEP sure are….chirpy for a bunch that’s letting the AOC Raiders run train on them.
“Best thing about our seats in Section R — you can’t read the “End Racism” / “It takes all of us” messages painted behind the end zones.”
– Don T (Closet Racist?)
Don’t be silly, we all noe BLAX r teh REEL racists smh
As opposed to Stephen Miller, who is a multi-story wardrobe racist.
He’s an Amazon warehouse racist.
as for MY johnson’s porn intake, its fine, thank you very much
I read that earlier. This guy makes my skin crawl.
Still better option than Jordan.
I’m afraid just as bad, or worse.
Piss in one, shit in the other.
But enough about Trump’s instructions to those Russian hookers
My initial thought was that it’s like none of these people have imaginations, but then I think about what they’re like and realize that they probably don’t.
I think they have ugly, dark, and twisted imaginations and they are living for the day they can go full on Nazi.
/Me, having had two beers, finishing dinner, and realizing that thanks to DST it’s not even 7:00 pm:
[Zaphod] poured a drink down his other throat with the plan that it would head the previous one off at the pass, join forces with it, and together they would get the second one to pull itself together. Then all three would go off in search of the first, give it a good talking to and maybe a bit of a sing as well.
He felt uncertain as to whether the fourth drink had understood all that, so he sent a fifth to explain the plan more fully and a sixth for moral support.
Fucking Rhamondre Stevenson and Josh Jacobs are gonna fuck me out of a win this week.
Because the Fatty was out, Gumby was stuck with Danny Dimes,, who had like 1 maybe 2 points before he was dragged off the field. He lost his game too. I really don’t understand why people bother with ff. It just seems to make everyone miserable! The Shield doesn’t need any help with buzzkilling.
Obligatory Scoring Through Each Quarter Graphic for the Giants
1st-0
2nd-0
3rd-0
https://giphy.com/gifs/glee-lea-michele-hqLq2VW4lPUsw
Evening, folks. We’re into The Dark Zone now, I see. Did two hours of leaves today after marking some quizzes and waking up hungover. At least I have some wings in the oven as a treat after another dogshit NE showing.
Ah, I’m sorry, did you get addicted to going to Superb Owls every other year?
Why as a matter of fact, I did. But my first hit was free, so I will never take any accountability for my entire life’s actions. NAWT FAYAH
you know its a bad call when even i think that shitty PI call that clearly fucks the cowboys was bullshit
Haven’t seen it yet, but NFL officiating is atrocious so I’m really not surprised. They just make things up as they go along, then over the next week or so the league office comes up with some bizarro explanation of why it was the right call and your eyes were lying to you.
thank god the bears suck and im not into gambling, or else i would’ve been sent into an asylum during this era of football
Anyone betting on the NFL is out of their mind.
Also, anyone betting on Arsenal after the coach and then the organization went after the Premier League officiating is also just burning money.
Oh that’s right, it’s almost Veteran’s Day, when the NFL switches from pretending to care about women to pretending to care about veterans.
The flags are big.
It’s perfectly cromulent the way that the flags embiggen our souls.
Correction:
Sucking money out of veteran’s organizations rather than women’s organizations.
What about pretending to care about it playe……BWHAHAHA!!!!!
and on thanksgiving pretend to care about families
Tune two vets they put on the board today were Latina Air Forca.
Cracking one’s toes is an underrated simple pleasure.
“Got any photos of those toes?”
-Rex Ryan
I could make a fortune with my hideous toes on one of the weirder fetish sites, not even joking. I’m like a sloth in the footal region.
“Your toes are my favorite. Don’t tell the others.” — Rex R.
Depends on whose toes you’re cracking.
Just saw the pass Hurts threw to take the lead.
You just have to tip your hat; that’s a hell of a throw.
playing on one leg, too. He and Dak both have immense heart, makes them hard to hate.
Yeah, nothing but respect for Hurts.
Now, if someone were to hit the Eagles head coach in the back of the head with a bag of nickels I wouldn’t be all that upset.
https://images.app.goo.gl/LH6CqKS83sVbmX6b9
Goddammit
Is Saquon also still out and if so, who is now the VEP emergency/wildcat QB??
Me.
Which is a problem, since I’m two beers deep, in Connecticut, and was never very good at football.
Los Giantes, searching for potential replacements and finding Don T and Blax:
(conceptional)
You seem like an improvisor, though. Owning a historic home is good preparation.
It’s not “historic” old, just “wow, everything in this house needs an upgrade” old.
Still better than whoever Arizona is sending out there
“I, I, didn’t read the entire contract.”
-John Mara’s favorite grand-nephew, trembling while putting on shoulder pads
That was one Swift move
Which game is Tay-Tay at this week?
The one where a swarm of killer African bees attack her and then sting her to death.
Raiders rookie qb with the requisite hospital ball to Adams.
Follows it up with an audible for a catch. He truly is a quarterback of contrasts.
Raiders stadium notes:
-full of Giants fans
-very VERY clean facilities
-liquoUr quality offsets price
-game is quicker in person–incredible!
I’m not gonna lie-I’m going to seek out the highlights of the Bucs/Texans game. That fixture looks like it was bananacakes.
It was unreal, especially when you consider what an outlier it was for each franchise to play a game like that.
“This looks like a different Raiders team….”
Because they’re playing the Giants. Jesus, this isn’t calculus.
It almost shouldn’t count
Giants losing to-
-an interim coach
-an OC that doesn’t know how the intercom system works
-an owner that doesn’t know that his tonight girlfriend is paid by his personal assistant
-a QB that was drafted from the cast of Super Troopers
That’s Rikki’s Raiders!!!!
tank wars heating up
thursday would be the most beautiful tie if it happens
From your fingertips to whatever BLEERGH uses to register sound and/or communication.
Oh that’s excellent
OK, it’s 21-0 Raiders. This is clearly an insurmountable lead for Los Gigantes. Put the Eagles-Cowboys game on, Fox.
We stopped at a brewery on the way back and I had one of these, so I am prepared for the Cowboys to shit the bed.
“Have you considered dicey web sites?”
-What the Fox says
My best friend since 4th grade, who is way too into the Cowboys, (to the point that I made that the center of my best man speech at his wedding), has already offered to give me about three streaming options.
The bottom line is I don’t give that much of a shit. In all honesty if it weren’t for this site and you fine* people I’m not sure how much I’d even be following the NFL these days.
*’Fine’ in this instance may be defined in different ways, and does not obligate the person uttering ‘fine’ in connection with any of the people on this site to be compelled to travel to Las Vegas and testify as a character witness for anything anyone affiliated with DFO has done. Allegedly.
Blax commenting on the site during the Giants/Raiders game is the best use of his time, tbh…
Given the ugly slate of NFL ball on the current dfocon schedule….
2.3.24
Can you see HI I’M MARK DAVIS in his secret clubhouse? Or his today girlfriend?
Lift trailer. Another hot piece of shit. Nothing like trying to sell a movie to Americans that includes rushing the cockpit . . .
Did anyone just see the trailer for “The Fall Guy”? Holy fuck what a flaming piece of shit. Am I hallucinating due to DST?
Feel sorry for Don T and Blax-they can’t hear the outro music.
I yelled so loud at my son today that my chest hurts
Your kid is playing the long game and winning.
He is without a doubt one of the biggest assholes that I love. I swear to Christ, he better amount to something.
“The Speaker recognizes the gentleman from Maryland. Senator Fozzspawn, the floor is yours.”
“Middle Fozz Spawn, please take the stand and remember, you’re under oath. The charges as follows: causing general mayhem, drunk and disorderly, assaulting a police officer, assaulting a police officer’s horse, grand theft auto, and burning a liquor store to the ground.”
“YOU GODDAMN FUCKSTICKS BETTER VOTE FOR MY “BARS OPEN 27 HOURS A DAY” BILL OR I’LL COME TO YOUR HOUSE WITH A BASEBALL BAT AND BEAT YOUR FIRST-BORN TO DEATH IN FRONT OF YOU. I RESPECTFULLY YIELD THE FLOOR.”
“eh, it’s been done”
-Rob Ford, from under 6′ of dirt
/needs more crack cocaine
chew some baby asprin, just in case
I just might.
To all of you wanting edit abilities, I want you to know that we are working on it. The truth is no one knows how or why they went away for certain users and it’s kinda hard to figure out how to get them back.
All that said, your typos are hilarious!
“Our finest minds are working on this night and day!”*
*every fifth day someone looks at it because of the complaints
Who has a problem with wanting edibles?
Of course you edited this just to rub it in our illiterate faces.
😉
God DAMMIT! You mock me at your own peril.
If this ain’t proof of the New World Order, I don’t know what is.
Yesterday, I think, I meant to say dumbest and I spelled it dunbest. That was really dunb.
Is Olsen a graduate of the Collinsworth School of Color Commentary?
did he get his son a broadcasting job already?
He got top marks by finishing at the bottom of the class.
not surprising a member of the 7th floor crew got As in a course about colorful commentary
McCarthy calling an ice cream treat break right there
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwYj9gQoaug&t=1s
Fuck you again Dimes. Fuck.
That Duke education allows him to understand the concept of guaranteed moneys
Dr. Mantis Toboggan, the seconding!!
Ballsy playcall by Dak on 4th and 1.
Don’t even think about being injured, Saquon.
over/under on batteries thrown by Philly fans is not on Draft Kings
Raiders get that new coach bump
Another delicious Pats loss.
The tank is on baby!
https://i.postimg.cc/8Pg3Ly30/RDT-20231105-1644235425863558746456652.webp
Who do I have to blow to get edit abilities again?
Damn, a if that Houston team existed we’d have a new scorigami.
This post served two purposes. 1) I’m way more drunk than I thought. 2) Use peons still can’t edit our own posts.
Deep sigh. Goddammit!
Shame bet Cowboys/Bengals. The Cowpersons are the shame part.
retroactively send connor bedard to the anaheim ducks
actively send gary bettman and the chicago blackhawks to hell
https://sports.yahoo.com/ex-blackhawks-player-sues-team-alleges-he-was-sexually-assaulted-by-brad-aldrich-203857392.html
Fucking disgrace
Shoot them into the sun with Gary. Terrible.
Good thing Aldrich didn’t bet on sports though. Or else that first round pick would be forefited.
Hey man, my dad was born in Gary.
I have nothing else to add
Was he in the Jackson 5? He was Tito, wasn’t he? I bet he was Tito!
I have no qualms with Gary, IN. It’s not Kalamazoo or French Lick, but it’s fine.
Huh, I have no one in the later afternoon games, nor the Sunday night game, nor the Monday night game.
So I’ve never lost a fantasy football game this early in the day before. 1
We have a Rev sighting!
Is he in the back of an LVPD patrol car?
No, the suspect lineup.
He’s risen?
and it’s before sunset!
Dude seated next to Don T looks like Squeak “Little Bitch” Sclolari.
He’s a Jints fan. The level of disrespect is off da hook
And his boy’s acne is out of control.