Thank the Baby Whoosis this tilt isn’t Mandatory. Oof!
Tidbits:
-Old Man Tom Coughlin-when last we saw him he was being run out of Jacktown by players, the player’s union, the owner, the front office and fans-will have a seat in the Jags Ring of Honor. Anyone that doesn’t arrive five minutes early for the ceremony will be fined a week’s wages.
-After feeling the effects of landing hard on a football Ja’Marr Chase will tough it out and play against the Texans. Will he get more yards than Tank Dell? Seriously, I’m not sure.
-As you suspected, chicks and Mike Vrabel love the deep ball. Will Levis will be the starting qb for them Fightin’ Titans for the next while.
-Death Throes (Paper Media Style): Jason Kelce has been named one of the Sexiest Men Alive. If someone you know has an opinion on this, please cut them out of your life.
To The Game!
Panthers/Bears:
-Chicago has Carolina’s 1st pick next year so be prepared to hear a little bit about that.
-Bagent’s INT prop is .5. He’s tossed the ball to the other squadoo 6 times in the last 4 games so I’ll let you do the math-ing.
-I’d also take a shot at the combined field goal attempts because these offenses get more bogged down than Swamp Thing on sabbatical.
-Thielen’s Rebirth: At 660 yards receiving and counting, he has more than three times the number of yards that the next ballgrabber has.
-The Bears aren’t back at the home cave for another month. Time to pile up those road losses!
Good luck out there.
If there were justice in this world, they would have talked more about DJ Moore’s excellent block to spring Kmet
Jeff Dahmer didn’t have this kind of initiative.
Yeah, he’s kicking himself up in heaven.
Needs more Chianti
Make up call.
bailout flag, for the games sake
Who portrayed Jason Kelce on TNF en espanol?
Yo soy yo
Hason El-ce.
Someone say worst half of football
Didn’t see any sign of it.
Of course we get Baltimore on a short week. Plus with WR1a with a sore hammy and WR1 with a sore backy.
The curse of being five foot ten.
You too tall to be considered average height, too short to be considered tall.
I’m the shortest guy in my family, I got gypped in the genetics department
6’0” is worse. People call you tall, but you are not tall.
Disagree
You find a step up stool and say that to my face!
Buncha damn shorties in here.
Don’t hate, makes the rest of us feel superior.
No kidding. We had the DFO hoops team in Vegas it appears!
Half court. Maybe a narrow eighth court.
People literally six foot as tall
I’ve been the shortest guy my entire life. It makes you a little bitter. I mean, it makes other people bitter. Me, I’m well adjusted.
I’m 5’9″.
My old man is 6′ even, my younger brother is 6’3″ish, all of my uncles and cousins on both sides are all over six-foot. Both grandads were taller than me.
My mom is a 5’5″.
My mom is 5’2, but some how both my half brothers are over six feet.
And my dad is taller than their dad, I’m still the shortest
I view it as karma for being a real jagoff older brother as a kid.
I’m blessed with the perfect height of 5’11”. Not short, not tall, just there.
I’m 6’3″, 215 lbs. Which is the perfect height and the perfect weight. I also make perfect phone calls.
I’m about that height and some multiple of that weight.
I’m really 6’1″, but like certain orange persons I’m also a congenital liar.
Fuck I thought it was 230, I messed up my lorax joke the other night.
6’1″ 235
6’2″ if i wear my work boots…gotta make that 235 seem less bad somehow
So here’s where I went tonight, a restaurant that’s not French.
https://www.mcfaulsironhorse.com/
I had the hangover burger, and it was a slice of heaven.
Fantastic choice. Too many people don’t appreciate a fried egg on their burger.
It’s protein on protein, how can you not appreciate it?
Get me an order of the chorizo mussels.
I’m good for it, honest.
Happy birthday! Next time we’ll get you some duck.
To be honest, I’ve never had duck. Italians don’t eat ducks, we stick with chicken and cheap meat soaked in tomato sauce.
Yeah, Italian guys don’t go anywhere near a bill.
Someone find a way to get this on the banner.
Italian Americans. I’ve had duck in Italy. And squab at a really great place outside of Florence.
So the French place was just a Clever Ruse?
No, I’m still goign there on Saturday night. The menu is dumb.
Theme of the next DFO-con should be Get Redshirt Laid
Gotta be in Dallas
or HOUSTON. We’ll call him Mister 501!
You could probably smell the location for the 500 from Austin.
DFOCon West Hollywood is on!!!
So pretty 40-year old Virgin performed by the DFO Players?
“Brocky, don’t put the pussy on a pedestal”
Or even Redshirt. Fuck, I’m gonna help the wrong guy get laid.
Story of my life. Forever the wingman.
I won’t complain,
Also can’t blame ya for confusing us, Midwestern guys, probably the nerdiest people on the site, objectively worst taste in TV shows…
So a trip to Carson City Nevada, huh?
Patpong street in Bangkok it is!
He gets his kicks above the waistline sunshine
We can do that in Willimantic, but I’m not going to guarantee he doesn’t burst into flames during or shortly after the deed.
Doug Flutie is 5’10” like I am uner 200 lbs
We get an awful lot of the Kelce bros, but I don’t hate them. They seem aight.
I feel like Travis would cheat on his college girlfriend at a party and Jason would punch him in the nose to teach him a lesson.
That’s a really good call somehow
Totally agree. Travis is a horse’s ass.
Can we keep Kelce and lose Michaels?
This could be the shittiest half of football in a while.
Wait til Iowa-Northwestern on Saturday
wasn’t that last weekend? Iowa/Rutgers is sure to be a real barnburner, though.
(also, I wonder if any PA announcers have played “Car Wash” on constant loop during warmups, when NW is in town)
Yeah, I fucked that up. Wasn’t gonna waste time checking.
it’s not “shitty”, it’s just “non-existent”
I’m watching it, but it’s not sticking to my ribs, if ya know what I mean. It’s the molecular gastronomy of football games.
Watching the bears is like watching a six year old play madden with the AI turned all the way up
Oh great the woman on the metro is screaming about how we’re all talking about her telepathically.
Then stop doing it.
It’s challenging when she’s screaming at the top of her lungs about Joe Biden, how China’s “gonna shoot all of [us] mother fuckers”, and how her pussy is too good to be broken up with.
Now the truth comes out. Why’d you break up with her pussy and talk about her telepathically, Mr. White Motherfucking Privilege?
Women’s reaction to me is slightly different
I mean, you are a redshirt
I was fully prepared to post a screenshot of my fantasy kicker with a bunch of angry red circles around it, cuz chiefs are on a bye
way too many points being scored here
Dicaprio Bootle on that 3rd down coverage.
Dicaprio.
Bootle.
/Looks up parametres of TNF in dictionary.
This is hitting all the notes.
Insurmountable lead
Somebody jumped on that Bagent INT prop? PLEASE TELL ME YOU DID!
This game has everything…short runs, punting, orange…
Good timing posting this right before a kickass punt return.
Not enough Chuba or Kmet.
Heh. Kay Adams advertising for Dick’s.
Here comes 2-0.
Fucking yinzers
WE ARE DIABETES LEGION
STILLERS GHANTA TANK BOWL
Do the Yinzers have their version of Paaaaawwwlllll?
(/slightly wet fart)
Our uber guy in Vegas was a Yinzer transplant. He was alright though. Took his mom to a Yinzer bar, they lasted 2 minutes and said that is the reason they left Pennsylvania.
There’s a >0% chance my aunt was in that bar.
There was one at the Buffalo/Cincinnati game. We chocked it up to hate watching the Bengals, but that doesn’t explain this game.
We’re everywhere.
Orange kit does accentuate Bagent’s lack of a soul, however.
ONLY good thing about bagent: knows dj moore exists
Escapee from an internment camp with the Anthem. Makes you think, don’t it?
Yes, we should build more internment camps.
Put everyone in the country in one, they let you out if you can correctly state the reason for the civil war
Will you accept both “less filling” and “tastes great”?
/Opens up de Tocqueville’s ‘Democracy in America’
“OK, so to really understand this we need to go back to the early agrarian South and an aristocratic upper class that didn’t want to work. In order to maintain their status and wealth they….”
/Guard, not even whispering
OK, let’s just shoot this one.
How shitty are you at FF Litre?
Quite, thank you. I have a vested interest in this game. Oh, are you playing against players? No, I am shitty, I have players playing in this game.
To be fair, I have Gibbs and Monty going tonight in one league*
*am 4-5 in that league
Which is really bad since the Liouns aren’t playing tonight.
Time is a construct
I’m playing against you and your Chuba.
Would have been fun if the matchup was last week, I blame the commissioners.
Yes, especially Goodell.
Before I ask if Jack Edwards is drunk on the air, did he have some kind of health event that I should know about? Something affecting speech and the ability to get words out? Because if not, hoo boy.
To my knowledge no health issues. Fire away
https://kissingsuzykolber.wordpress.com/2006/11/27/f-k-it-im-throwing-it-downfield/
he only had one speed for every pass: THROBBING
I’m only on this site talking to you all right now because someone wore a sexcannon ksk shirt to my job 16 years ago
Not our good looks?
The cocktails don’t hurt
This was also my introduction to KSK-verse
the bears orange jerseys are OK. its the orange buckets that make the whole uni look truly awful
Every time I see a Subway commercial I remember that Ireland classified their subs’ basis as NOT bread.
Alright I’m off to therapy instead of watching this game, and I can’t begin to quantify how much healthier of a choice that is.
APOSTATE
Be sure and tell your therapist about your erotic Lindsey Graham dreams.
I wonder if I switch to en espanol, will the feed get better?
Sí
¡Por supuesto!
is that…a sexy rexy jersey?
Will never not be funny
forever a fan
If you have to ask, you’re already pregnant.
I can tell you it’s not a Kevin Kolb.
the fuck is going on with Louisville’s kit?
bears are rocking the hideous orange on orange bullshit
glorious tie inbound
There is not a single human being in the entire history of the world who looks good in orange.
Mrs Sharkbait has a scratchy throat/lost voice. Sharkette says she doesnt feel well, but no fevers on either of them. I have gasoline and matches at the ready. If anyone asks, I was with all of you the entire time.
I’m with The Heiress at a comedy show. Baby Whosis (🤣) and cracks at Tom Coughlin are deffo a tough act to follow. But I’m sure the 4th QRT will provide funny hijinks.
4-4 tie please BLEERGH
first to 10 points wins
Glorious Draw: A Game No One Deserved to Win?
we can will this into existence. it can be done
Wow. A 0-0 tie isn’t even a defensive showcase because there weren’t any safeties against the obviously incompetent offenses (and shitty kickers).
Bengals fans vs. The Injury Bug (Artistic Interpretation):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0aTygRmubo&pp=ygUcZW1wZXJvcidzIG5ldyBncm9vdmUgYmFsbG9vbg%3D%3D
Dammit! Forgot to mention that there’s some quality women’s college basketball on now-Tennessee/FSU now, V.Tech/Iowa later.
Nominate your most lol Bears moment of the season (so far)! I’ll go first:
Lawnmowers and other equipment being stolen from the team.
Justin Fields call out his coaches and backtracks faster than a bear can shit in the woods
fans pre-season thinking this was a 9+ win team
Fans claiming Bagent is the QB they’ve been waiting decades for after beating the Raiders, only to watch him fall to earth like Icarus against the Chargers and the Saints.
The defensive coordinators improprieties, suspension, then firing.
The fumble-6 against Donks WOO!!!
The Bears letting not one but two coaches go for workplace behavior reasons.
This guy. LOOKIT HIM!!!