Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Can you believe it’s week 11 already? Previous Thursday nights have been overrun by droolers named Bagent, Pickett, Young and Levis, this time around we get some quality play-callers in Burrow and Jackson. I have hopes. Will they be dashed against the Rocks of Mediocrity? MAYBE!

Minutiae:

-What’s Old is New Again: The Browns are going to try to ride out the season with rook qb DT-R. (Down To Run) Stefanski pretty much said that Dorian was nowhere near prepared enough to play earlier in the season but now he’s ready. We’ll see.

-NEWS FLASH!: The Chargers will not be making a run at the playoffs this year. Why? Because Dumb Brandon told reporters that he will continue calling the defensive plays. He’s in a tough spot because if he ceded the responsibility he’d be admitting failure and that would pretty much guarantee his firing. However, if he continues with the playcalling he’s going to get fired anyway. Getting some fierce Sword of Sisyphus energy from that guy.

-Kyler noted that his success was also the team’s success because of ‘it’s just a different energy’ in the building these days. A lovely jab at Kinksbury or whatever his name is right there. In related news his agent has announced that his game controller will now have Energizer batteries rather than Duracell. The guy killed two birds with one statement.

To The Game!

Bengals/Ravens:

-Baltimore is having a JJFozz Appreciation Celebration but they’re calling it a Blackout Night. Let the Bourble flow…

-Reasons to bet Ravens: There are a few good ones. They are undefeated on Thursday night. LAMAR! is 7-1 vs Cincy. The Bengals can’t defend the run and their best run defender Sam Hubbard is out. Ravens DC Mike McDonald hasn’t allowed Burrow to throw for 300 yards in four tries.

-Seriously, It’s a ‘Must Win’ Game: Although all the teams in the division are bunched together, Cincy is 1-3 division-wise and 1-5 conference-wise. Tiebreakers will bury them at the end of the year if they lose here.

-Ravens are first in the sack race with 39 and are 4th in INT’s with 10.

-Lands of Contrasts: Bally is #1 in total yards gained and the Bengals are dead last.

Enjoy the tilt.

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
335 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Col. Duke LaCross

And the first F1 practice in Vegas ends in 8 minutes after two cars get jacked up by a loose sewer drain cover. Not a great look.

TheRevanchist

Personally, I am loving it. F1 is for the 1% who can afford a Ferrari. Elitest NASCAR with too many rules.

WCS

I literally laughed out loud. That was fucking hilarious.

Mr. Ayo

P2 delayed at least half an hour as well. It will probably be cancelled as well. Disaster all the way around.

blaxabbath

LIVE THREADS!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Presume I didn’t miss anything

WCS

Kenny Pickett became the best starting quarterback in the division without playing.

Redshirt

Nothing important. Only my existential dread has finally materialized. I would be dead inside, but death is absence of pain. I am alive inside. I am pain inside.

Other than that, just your usual game.

WCS

comment image

jjfozz

THIS ODELL I CALL HIM A FRAGILE PORCELAIN MOUSE. BECAUSE HE IS.

TheRevanchist

He could have had a tuddy, but he tried doing that one handed shit instead. He deserves his pain for making us all suffer watching his prima Donna ass.

ThePirateSloth

It’s lasagna night!

comment image

Brocky

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Clearly not a Monday Night Football appropriate gif

jjfozz

i am sitting here with mrs. fozz, so far i am not unhappy. must be the bourbon

Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

How is Bruce Pearl the head coach of Auburn and not in jail?

Col. Duke LaCross

Why is Beattie not on the field there?

Horatio Cornblower

Saw an ad for some kind of question game on Twitter. I won’t post it here, but I loved the middle question: ‘On a normal day where you’re just going about your business, how many owls would you have to see to think something weird was happening?’

On due consideration I think if my dog and I were taking our daily gentlemen’s stroll through the woods and I saw one owl I would be very excited. Two I would be even more excited. Three and I’m sort of pausing and doing a bit of thinking. Four and I’m looking nervously around. Five or more and we’re running the fuck out of the woods.

jjfozz

Owls. Hmmm. More than two and Im’ gong home

Brocky

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just had this convo, I think the answer is like 8, my wife said 2.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think the answer is like 8, my wife said 2.

“Ha ha, those were the exact same numbers my wife and I came up with!” – Brett Favre

jjfozz

Drones. Drones is bad.

Brocky

comment image

Senor Weaselo

-Will Bales

ThePirateSloth

“From the creator of Two And A Half Men!!”

That’s supposed to make me interested in this new show?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…the creator of Two And A Half Men

Tywin Lannister?

Horatio Cornblower

After shitting all over Stephen King down below I feel compelled to point out that he is an absolute master of the short story, his “short story” about his son’s Little league team winning the State title is some of the best sports writing you’ll ever find, (‘Head Down’; look for it), and ‘The Stand’ and ‘It’ are great books, minus a pre-teen gang bang in the latter that most people conveniently forget is in there.

jjfozz

The Stand ruined every other apocalypse story I have ever read. And I’ve read a shit ton of them.

Brocky

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I always thought Salem’s Lot was terrific.

ThePirateSloth

“moist”
comment image

TheRevanchist

Moist and creamy is how I like my roast beef sandwiches.

Don T

comment image

Gumbygirl

Tiger looks like it has Down’s Syndrome.

Horatio Cornblower

Those things are so inbred it’ll be lucky if all it has is Down’s.

Last edited 11 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
ThePirateSloth

Do not search for this tiger and his story. It’s depressing and fucking infuriating and makes me hate humanity

Brocky

It’s not the one who attacked sigfried is it?

ThePirateSloth

No.

Brocky

….darn?