I guess it makes sense to feature this during Thanksgiving:
Fuck, ain’t that just amazing work? Now, exit your nostalgic stupor, we’ve got FOOTBALL to watch.
City of Men take on the filthy Redshite, bright and early (7:30, Peacock). YMMV, but I can’t really bear to watch.
Robins Hood and Trashbirds get the 10:00 window TV coverage (USA). Fairly interesting matchup, I suppose. Knifey/Cherries and Bonesaws/Chelski (the Oligarch Derby?) are your primary streaming alternatives.
Depending on how the Early Bird Special goes, the Spotlight Dance (Prais Beesus hosting King’s Afrikan Water Pistols – 12:30, NBC) could have major ramifications at the top. I can’t quite decide how seriously to take the Gooners as title challenger. It’s certainly not out of the question, though. Bees have found a little form, and could make the Clubhouse favoUrites sweat, at least.
Proper good Sunday Funday doubleheader, with Spurs Villa (9:00, USA) followed by angry Goodison Park Everton hosting Men Untied (11:30, USA). TASTY. as the Brits would say. A spicy meatball, in the Bosa family. Either way, worth your time.
Mighty Whitey host Monday Night Footy, against the sentient wet fart that is Wolves (3:00, USA). I mean, it’s sommet to do the Monday after a holiday. Lord knows we all need THAT.
tOhio State (+3) at Michigan (Noon, Fox)
Imagine a timeline so dark, that the ENTIRE CLUBHOUSE (including us non-affiliateds) will be rooting hard for the Tree Nutz, to finish undefeated yet again. And gum up the playoffs yet again. But man, do these Michigan Men ever need a kick in the shins, seat of the pants, bollocks, AND teeth. Whatever order you prefer, just keep kicking these assdicks.
Texas A&M (+11.5) at LSU (Noon, ESPN)
No real stakes here except pride, though Bonfire Cult surely would like an excuse to point and laugh at Jimbo. Who points and laughs back, counting his immense pile of moneys. LSU has an insane offense, and no defense whatsoever. So, should make for a decent watch.
Alabama (-14.5) at Auburn (3:30, CBS)
One last CBS Iron Bowl. This being at Jordan-Hare, one can’t rule out suspense entirely. Though probably mostly can, after the waste New Mexico State laid to War Damn Eagle last Damn weekend. Listen, PAAAAWWWWLLLLL, that’s the Bama hype train revving up!
Arizona (-10.5) at Arizona State (3:30, ESPN)
Not expecting much out of this (lame-assed named) Territorial Bowl, but the Fighting Blax deserve some recognition. A mighty fine turn around in the desert, as opposed to Sparky’s continuing spin cycle of futility.
Original Recipe Big Love (+17) at BDSM State (3:30, ABC)
It’s “win and you’re in” (Big 12 title game) for the ‘Pokes, who will look to avoid stubbing their toe against the Stormin’ Mormons. An inconsistent lot, but they game Okiehoma a tussle last weekend (albeit in Provo).
Washington State (+16.5) at Washington (4:00, Fox)
Does anybody play down to heavy favoUrite status quite like The Penix Show? Apple Cup gamblers are about to find out. I always think there is value in lopsided rivalry games, especially when the underdog needs a win to bowl qualify. That said, “Coug’d it” is a saying for a reason.
Llama/Aw Burn! is worthy of your eyeballs.
Ouch. This is hurting my eyes.
Totally redeemed!
The CBS Director is urgently telling his people not to cut to Alabama’s sideline for the next few minutes, on the off chance Saban kills someone over how wideopen that receiver was.
Look at you, Auburn!
/and it’s that #6 dude!
I’m a regular Nostrildomus over here!
#6 for Auburn is the difference maker for Auburn. Gotta get it in his hands.
Surely BEAR DOWN can hit 80? 90 would be funnier.
now, i fucking hate jimm fallon, but he’s under fire for referring to a trans acrtress as “bud.” fuck you, Amrica
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: As long as the Liberal Elites keep eating their own and not focusing on the real evils of America, nothing will get fixed.
Also, “buddy” is a genderless term. She didn’t call him out on it. No harm, no foul!
Why do toaster ovens need bluetooth? because fuck you, America.
Used to tell this one on Cooper:
Guy goes into the bar, with a little dog in a bag. He puts the dog on the bar and they watch the Buckeye game. The Buckeyes win, and the dog starts doing backflips.
The bartender says, “Hey, that’s kind of neat.”
Guy says, “Yeah, he does that every time the Buckeyes win.”
The bartender asks, “What does he do when they beat Michigan?”
The guy replies, “I don’t know, I’ve only had him for three years.”
Alright, I just cleared the front yard for the 4th time. Let the record note that we only have one tree in our front yard.
Has Ryan Day been fired yet?
We should fire Ryan Leaf while we’re at it
Ok. I went down a certain rabbit hole. What say you’ve got an incredible voice but you’re stuck in a genre that doesn’t care about that attribute? This is what you do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufGLhImwnYg&ab_channel=rikymira1
Desert happenings escalating quickly. Where’s Herm? He would have PLAYED to win THE GAME.
RUN THE MOTHERFUCKER UP!
you’re gonna donate enough to have a building named after you now, right? Blax Hall
For value, I’ll put it elsewhere.
Maybe adopt a roadway somewhere near Sill’s.
How rampant is evil running (ie, not just UM)? BDSM State is shitting themselves, which will bring forth a goddamned Steerfuckers North v. South rerun. I may not watch any conference title games other than PACtion.
(ok, I will also watch Dawgs/Tide)
Is a Wash/Wash State or Arizona/ASU game like puppy love in that only the puppies think that it’s important?
I mean, a fight could always break out. Hate to miss that.
Penix is almost an afterthought today. I really am getting old.
Interviews on the fields with coaches are the biggest waste of time since the Catholic mass was invented.
Kenny Dillingham: “WE’RE ESTABLISHING AN IDENTITY IN THIS GAME!”
Next Play: ASU False Start
See, Hippo? Just need to let the ASU players do their part….
https://twitter.com/ASUFootball/status/1728114280741175655
HAWT STUFF!
/nods in agreement
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cyuw6t07_ok&ab_channel=discorules2009
Ain’t nobody at that UA/ASU game.
SEC is in fill “Make Sure ‘Bama Wins, And By A Lot’ mode.
You know how far out these executives need to schedule their dinner appointments?
Sparky is WINNING??
Forks up over Bear down.
FOAR MIDTERMS!
They got a good coach…..AKTUALLY
The only thing the Bammers and the Barners can agree on: Shut the fuck up, Gary!
I’d get a Shaqaroni pizza. Except that I know that, if I got one and it surely would be a letdown, I could run into Shaw and be like, “Hey Shaq, why your pizza so bad?” he’s be like, “I just did that for some money I don’t care about anything else.”
And then I’d be a sucker.
Just get two pepperoni pizzas from a good place. That’s pretty much all that Shaq pile of crap is.
Shaqaroni pizza with Soda Shaq soda. Or, you could just commit seppuku and save your bowels about two hours.
ASU busting out the wildcat for the rivalry game.
That’s something worth watching.
I don’t feel like it’s accurate to describe a team whose coach had been suspended twice as having had to “battle adversity”. There’s got to be a better way to characterize it.
“Innocent until proven guilty!”
–
“Overcoming adversity” is the same term sportswriters used to describe the patriots winning a superbowl two weeks after deflategate and a year and a half after Aaron hernandez
(Redshirt’s response to “Are you okay?”)
hello darkness, my old friend
That’s after the Bungles-Stillers 4-4 tie tomorrow.
#ItGetsWorse
All I saw right there was a Marvin Harrison Jr Business Decision. Is MHJr a bad locker room guy? We have on some guy from some website to yell at a third of the screen and he’s repulsive, ladies….
Welp, on to Sunday.
“Well, I for one won’t be participating.” – Lea Michele
“Miss Michele, you ‘wrote’ the Batman symbol instead of ‘I.'”
— her underpaid assistant
Any assistant to an illiterate star who hasn’t rewritten their own employment contract to quintuple their salary deserves no more than the pittance they currently get.
The wave is a great taunt. Nice job, kid who caught that.
…into the sun.
Just got the news that my grandmother passed away today. 99. Based on her last few years I am going to leave that family personal best with her. Vaya con Dios Grandma. Make sure they keep those martinis extra dry when you get wherever it is we go.
Sincere condolences. 99 is hell of run.
99 is a long ass life. I am hoping for a nice 78.
Condolences to your family, internet friend.
Aiming for 95 and then doing a bunch of heroin.
Awww, Godspeed Grandma Cornblower!
What an incredible life.
Best to the family.
And damn, if a martini doesn’t sound delicious.
Martini drinking grandmother? I should be so lucky.
Another review? Sure, why not?!
WHAT IS A JV CATCH??
Who is OSU’s coach? That dude doesn’t look the part. Is he sneaky charismatic or something?
COACH SAMSQUATCH
.
I’ll take a FG Block, please?
Too much?
It’s funny that Jaylen Daniels at LSU left ASU.
Because ASU sucks and everyone knows it, you see.
Forks Up.
AMBROSIA!
Wrong spoon, cretin!
…through a brick wall…
I can’t believe I’m saying this but God damn it IU don’t score too quickly!!
If one says the name, “John Cooper” three times in front of a mirror in the ____shirt household, does the ghost of Woody Hayes appear and try to punch you?
Maybe on the field to punch Day for blowing this winnable game.
I just realized FOX could’ve had a live shot of Harbaugh for every play. That would have been fun.
…at home or a treehouse or wherever he is watching this game while on timeout.
I assume he’s on the sideline in disguise, because he’s a WINNER who doesn’t give a shit about things like rules and honor or any of that soft crap.
Scotchy does his… thing for sport.
I think all of the Harbs hunt with their bare hands for survival AND sport.
I want them to use the ump cam on the plays where the umpire clearly blows a call right in front of him.
Then I want his home doxxed.
And then after that I’m happy.
I’m sure there’s some MAGA chud who’s just champing at the bit for one of the female refs to make that kind of big mistake in a consequential game so they can do exactly that.
Yeah.
I want to make sure they aren’t restricted from speaking on behalf of WE THE PEOPLE (which may be the funniest thing they’ve like coopted).
I’d like to hear from Jim Tressel right now. How about some citizen journalist drag him out of his house and just prop him up in the parking lot out there and see what the UM crowd asks.
Getting a flu and Covid shot in the local pharmacy and can kinda hear Christmas muzac on in the background, so so so gonna hear LDB today.
Boooooo
/with the Mrs so don’t have headphones on
Holy shit I made out without hearing LDB.
And I went to the LCBO(liquor store) too
…out of a cannon…
https://giphy.com/gifs/teaser-guardians-of-the-galaxy-sneak-peek-l3vR2mv6bOy0Vk1LG
I want a nap so bad but am watching Deci. One does not leave a 6 year old to his own devices. Whoever said they hate naps is dead wrong.
Sigh, I will have dead legs in the resto tonight.
Does he do RC cars?
Oh yes. Today though has been a Lego festival. With futbol and football on in the background.
I try to get the Dr. Mrs. to take naps but she won’t do it.
How can anyone nap with that vacuum on?
Dead Legs In The Resto sounds like a meta drink you should invent for your co-workers to enjoy after shift ends.
Would your manager allow you to occasionally work from one of these?
Is tat a coloUrful sex swing?
I hope not because I loaded my Dad in one of those the other day.
Yeah, my uncle that had ALS had one of those. There was no way my aunt would have been able to care for him without it, she was teeny.
Let’s just say you ain’t gonna see her physically resisting any advances.
“That woman has really large hands!”
-R. Ryan, thinking about pivoting to another fetish
…on the field…
Juwan Howard really has the Wolverines humming today.
Michigan’s helmet reads “Mich16an”.
Bring back the fucking nonstop concussions.
They see you hatin’…
(because they are spying on you, you see)
Fire Ryan Day…
Hire Charlie Day?
Celebrate Casimir Pulaski Day!
Hire Sufjan Stevens!
Hire Dino Babers?
/your beloved team is undefeated*-get a grip
*so far
He legit doesn’t know what to do with these feelings
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLrGPpVtZg0&pp=ygUZZW5jaGFudGVkIGFteSBhZGFtcyBhbmdyeQ%3D%3D