Your ‘Nother NFL Football Open Thread

As one would expect, we’ve got the skinniest of slates in terms of number of games and quality games. I can hear Hippo’s snores from over here.

To The Games!

Panthers/Bucs:

Aw, C’MON! This game should have been flexed to the Dark Ages. Tampa is 4-7 but it’s much worse than that because they are on a 1-6 tear. This tilt should help restore Bryce Young’s confidence and boost his numbers because the Bucs have the 31st-ranked pass defense. Plus there’s that New Coach Bounce which may or not be a thing. I feel bad for sad sacker Brian Burns who has been doing his part as edge defender but it’s only translated into 6 qb dumps.

Browns/Rams:

At 38 Joe Flacco has all the mobility of Terry Shiavo with a high ankle sprain but here we are. Apparently the Cleveland coaches were impressed with his arm strength so maybe we’ll see some deep shots to Cooper and Tillman. The Browns have only allowed 10 passing TDs so far so Fatt Matt will come back down to earth after tossing 4 last week. If Puka can squeeze out 76 yards he’ll hit 1,000 in 12 games, something that’s only been done six other times.

Niners/Eagles:

Hey look, it’s a rematch of last year’s NFC Champeenship game but Purdy has a functioning arm! Philly is a land of contrasts this last little bit. Over the course of the season their rush yards allowed is an average of 85.3 but over the last two games they’ve given up a total of 346. McCaffrey and Shanny Jr. would do well to run outside because that’s where the big gains are. Purdy has been as a efficient as possible, tossing passes at a 70+% clip over the last 5 games. The primary beneficiary has been Aiyuk-since they’ve started playing together last year he is #1 in yards per catch and #2 in receptions over 20 yards.

Enjoy.

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King Hippo

Mingo is doing a brutha right, though.

jjfozz

The tush push is bullshit. I have no problem with it being outlawed.

litre_cola

Because you cant do it or stop it.

jjfozz

Not that, but to me it seems like a no-skill play. I appreciate violence as much as the next guy, but come up with a strategy. Eh, I’m old and angry.

Doktor Zymm

I think we’ve seen it poorly executed enough times to show it requires skill. Hell, the Giants injured two people on the same play trying to tush push

Spur

Its a rugby play.

Brick Meathook

I just started watching this SF-PHI game and it’s great! Ejection! Fights! Let’s see some batteries!

litre_cola

Or a Kolb jersey?

Gumbygirl

Too bad it’s not snowing!

Spur

MurderBall is on in Philly!

jjfozz

Joe continues to be elite.

King Hippo

Are #ThePauls a Elite franchise??

Spur

Greenlaw should be executed in the parking lot. Coming you stupid Philly fucks, do it.

jjfozz

FAT COACH IS ANGRY

Spur

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
punch that philly coach too!

litre_cola

Did nae do him no good punching security guy.

jjfozz

PHILLY, ALWAYS CLASSY

litre_cola

Listen here angry purple camo panted guy. There can only be one.

jjfozz

I have never worn purple camo.

Spur

Looks like that Fat coach touched Greenlaw 1st but whatever.

litre_cola

Nawt a coach. Security

Spur

OPI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WCS

WVU vs. U*NC in the Satan’s Jizz Bowl in North Cakalakay.

I’ve seen this before…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViPsg8njs7s&ab_channel=WVURxMan

Spur

YES YES YES. TD 49ers!
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fleshwound_NPG

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litre_cola

I can’t understand. The Eagles have not addressed the secondary and they are garbage.

litre_cola
Spur

But the Eagle QB can squat 455486000000 LBS so that has to make up for a shitty secondary unit.

fleshwound_NPG

am digging erin andrews’ RAF pilot jacket from 1940

Spur
jjfozz

Spent time with my father today, well spent time with a person who used to be my father. What a fucking shame. and great news, I’ll probably have the same condition. so, I’ll be pulling my own plug after my 75th birthday: pills and Whistle Pig.

fleshwound_NPG

i really, really wanted the cfp committee to fuck texas, just so next year we can all watch a college team in retaliation with the salary of the 90s cowboys win the title, and another one the very next year, with an even bigger roster salary (smu)

Spur

Hell Yeah! San Fran is stomping on some feathers

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Gumbygirl

Look, Spur is here! Where have you been?

Spur

I’ve been sick. I was in a diabetic coma for a day or so. I knew something was wrong a few weeks leading up to it and had an appointment to see my doctor but I was taken to the ER a few days before my appointment.

My vision went out as well. It’s been the last two weeks my vison has been close to normal.

Mr. Ayo

Holy shit! Glad you’re getting better.

Doktor Zymm

Damn, well welcome back and glad you’re doing better

Gumbygirl

Jeeeesus! You take care of yourself. The beetus is dangerous as fuck.

jjfozz

I like Watt’s sack celebration, because there’s a chance he could rip his hamstring when he kicks his leg out. Fuck him.

Spur

Eagles 2nd level Defense is ass at tackling.

fleshwound_NPG

iggles were gonna pay for the loss to the jests eventually

Gatoraids

chemtrails
-Pete Carroll

Col. Duke LaCross

Last week, no one died. This week, Thanos snaps his fingers and ligaments bones and neurons crumble to dust.

Spur

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ve talked about adding out own god of injuries to the DFO pantheon. Dok had a suggestion for the name, if I remember correctly.

jjfozz

A few suggestions:

Miserus
Goddamnitus
The Great God of Gore
Fucking Goddamn Bullshit
Donald Trump, The God of Shit

Gatoraids

Scott Scheer in honor of fox injury music composer

Game Time Decision

Theisman
Gramatica

Spur

My vote for for Gramatica.
That was an all time injury.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t remember what my suggestion was, but I do think we should have a god of concussions called C’TEulhu

Spur

Kill’em All Kittle!!!!!!

King Hippo

Amari Cooper needs to play it careful and stay helmet off.

Mr. Ayo

And he’s ded

King Hippo

Lots of good deaths today, solidarity for the Semenholes I guess?

Spur

Has it been noted here, the expanded CFP was to start this year but the CFP committee took a vote to delay. The FSU rep was a “no” vote to delay.

fleshwound_NPG

THIS PLAYOFF COMMITTEE I CALL THEM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA BECAUSE THEY KILLED SEMINOLES, THAT DID NOTHING WRONG, JUST TO PLEASE SOME WHINY WHITEYS FROM THE SOUTH

Spur

TD 49ers!
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fleshwound_NPG

NAWT A CATCH

fleshwound_NPG

NAWT AN INCUMPLEASHUN

fleshwound_NPG

if brock purdy destroys you in the open field you have to go on IR

Spur

Ran over those birds Kittle! You big big filthy animal!

Spur

another no called horse collar on Philly. Having your hands in the area is a Flag for any other team.

Spur

the lack of 49ers offense isnt that concerning.

WCS

Wolven Sort v. Caleb Williams in the Holiday Bowl?

O AN U NOE HIPPO GON PILLL BUUUULLLEEEEE DAT CHUH CHUH

WCS

HAIL BLEERGH

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BEERGH is probably feeling a bit guilty about what he did to that official in New Orleans.

Dunstan

Imagine Bill Belichek’s frustration that he was involved in a 6-0 game but was on the losing end.

WCS

This HAS to be Peter King’s favorite score line.

Dunstan

Especially if played in Wichita

LemonJello

I haven’t seen a sack that big since Andy Reid’s last DoorDash order.

Dunstan

“Sometimes a sack can look really big, relative to what’s next to it.” — Deanna F.

Spur

AJ Brown, almost crippled??
Try harder to kill that bird please.

litre_cola

Horatio and I are team standard.

Gumbygirl

I used to be, but my last couple of cars have been automatics.

King Hippo

Not Lowratio, though (obvs)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow, times have changed. When I bought my Mighty Max in 1999 or so it had 114k miles on it and cost $4,000.

Doktor Zymm

You gonna roll some coal?

Doktor Zymm

You didn’t convert to km and canadian dollars, or ‘loonies’

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ouversight on my part, for sure.

The Maestro

Cummins with a stick? If it’s 4×4, holy grail. Don’t think, just buy.

Gumbygirl

Minshew Mania! Sorry, Don T.

Spur

Fat Humps squeeze by Tits to win.

LemonJello

Sounds like those Tits need a good foundation garment for some added support.

blaxabbath

Goodness man. How do I bet on Oregon to murder Liberty in the Firsta Bowl?

litre_cola

Lindsay Graham will be watching. He loves watching. Maybe him?

Spur

Liberty is lobbying hard to get a 3rd Team involved for a true Christofascist good time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

MARRIAGE IS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN (and also the pool boy ppl forget that)

litre_cola

I missed the opening slate. Mrs. Cola cam home, What happened to the Chargers??? So, what happened?

Mr. Ayo

ELITE!

Spur

Is Bosa aware Jalen Hurts parents are both black? I’m might have to DM him, think he checks while on the sideline?

King Hippo

WE WANT A DRAW. DRAW DRAW DRAW!

Spur

Don’t rush this Eli is trying hard to stay in the lines.

Spur

The Fat Humps and Tits really the same thing.

Doktor Zymm

Nah, after all there’s no such thing as fat cancer

Spur

Then explain these two cancerous fat lumps
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Doktor Zymm

That’s a picture of ass herpes

King Hippo

You can let Rachad White have this PLEASE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

litre_cola

YES my friend!

Doktor Zymm

Who?

Spur

Am here to root for the crippling of the Philly and San Fran players

litre_cola

Makes sense. I am here for the beating.

Doktor Zymm

That seems likely to happen

Doktor Zymm

It’s impressive that instead of trying out Kaep the Browns went with the whitest possible retired QB

Spur

Afternoon Folks.

litre_cola

Spent 4 hours at the pub with the 6 year old. Some would say that is bad parentin. To that I would say he played darts and did math and counted the Guinness that dad drank.

Hell, I was left in the car while dear old dad drank at The RIb Shack in a Manitoba winter.

BeefReeferLives

Sounds like he had a fun time with his Pop. Good parenting in my book.

litre_cola

I agree. He was allowed to have coca cola as isn’t normal, because we were at the pub. Watched the futbol while drawing, then the lads took him to play darts to give Dad a break. I think that is good parentin actually. Be comfortable in those surroundings so when you turn (18,19,21 depending on location) you are comfortable and don’t go mad.

Doktor Zymm

Nice day out!

litre_cola

Really was. Sadly isn’t in to futbol but is getting there due to the passion of the regulars at the pub. He did wear his Liverpool jersey because they beat Dad’s Mighty Whitey

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, someone’s gotta drive Dad home.

litre_cola

Kid could probably reach the pedals. He is in Grade 1, old dad, but is taller than everyone up until Grade 4. Those who have met me know I am not Gametimedecision so it is wild.

Doktor Zymm

It’s probably because your wife is Danish. Just be happy she isn’t Dutch

Game Time Decision

Nothing better than making your kids be the DD