That was a day yesterday, wasn’t it? We saw some awesomeness and there was some unmitigated crap as well. Speaking of, this Thursday we’ve got the Steelers and Pats facing off. Apparently the O/U is a paltry and disgusting 31 and a half. Are you fucking kidding me? More on this in a bit.
Fallout:
-I usually start this by listing the numerous injuries that occurred Sunday but I’m not going to do that. Well, except for one. Tank Dell. What the hell was Texans OC Slowik thinking, asking Dell to block on an inside power run? Seriously! From the replay it looked like his blocking assignment was safety Justin Simmons. Do you know how much Dell weighs? 165. Simmons is 205. Yeah Tank, block that guy that outweighs you by 40 pounds and do it close quarters. The stupidity just bewilders me.
-More Stupidity: Ron Rivera decided that he would call defensive plays, a thing he hasn’t done since 2018 and enlisted the help of a db coach that isn’t out of his 20’s yet. Seriously? (this word is getting a workout right now) And what was the end result? Play single man coverage on Tyreek Hill. What the fuck? And what did Rivera do after the game? The same thing he did to Jack Del Rio, threw a defensive coach under the bus to deflect from his own bad decisions. Everyone says Riverboat is a nice guy but, I don’t know.
-Futility, Thy Name Is: The Pats have scored 13 points in three games. Sure, teams go thru dry spells for any number of reasons-players that are a poor fit for the system, poor qb-ing, no wr’s to speak of-these are some of the Pats problems. But the thing that bothers me is that New England seems to be intentionally dragging teams down to their level and the end result is unwatchable football. Can’t stand it because Old Bill just smirks away thru the proceedings. Just brutal.
To The Game!
Bengals/Jags:
-Gah! Fill in the blanks down below-I’m pissed and I’ve reached the minimum word limit.
Your turn.
JUST. FUCKING. TACKLE. JAGURAS.
I honestly want both teams to win so hoping for MOST HONORABLE TIE
no, thats thursday
Both teams deserve it, nawt neither team. Actually, can we give both these squadoos a W and both Thursday’s a L?
having a tie game without having to embarrass on your opponent by scoring on them (0-0) is most honorable
and the most fun outcome for sickos everywhere
nil-nil!
WHAT THE FUCK?! A TACKLE AS A SLOT RECEIVER! OH FUCK YOU ZAC!
Here comes the Triple Reverse RG Pass
Triple Lindy
Jesus H. Christ in a bicycle powered sidecar!
Additional goddamn!
Keep. Running. Normal. Plays. You. Ass. Clowns.
Duval is not a serious team
Who looks better in tight outfits — me, or Prison Girlfriend?
Someone get both LimeGelatin and Redshirt off the roof.
I’ll going off at 9.8 m/s^2.
An NFL team should put a guy like Tacko Fall on their roster specifically for plays like that.
few things ruin a game like a dumb, dumb coach
(Stone Cold Steve Austin’s music blares)
While I am always sad on principle when trick plays go bad, the idea of the Jaguras as the one seed in the AFC is too delicious
CFP committee opened the seventh seal by fucking a florida team, and is gonna unleash a DUUVAL super bowl run
I can get behind this.
Kick a FG cowards!
Damnit
If the Bengals are trying to throw this game, they are not doing a good job hiding it.
An interception that would get J Peterman all hot and bothered!
OH MY
Although I do encourage novelty plays so good on em for trying it but probably not the best spot
Is that Vanessa Hudgens? Oh what I wouldn’t give to have that woman take out a restraining order against me.
Just like they drew it up.
Sweet Jesus Bengals. What the fuck are you doing????
the play that was awful in the 1st half, is, guess what, worse in the 2nd
What in the hell was that?
Unexpextedly good Thursday game, Sunday night upset, unexpectedly good Monday night game. Is it the apocalypse and if so how can I convince hot strangers that we should have end of world sex?
So, we’re going to start drinking now.
Oh, uh, yes, ahem, NOW
I am.
Now for sure.
(You not me)
The NBA’s in-season tournament is now in the quarterfinal stage. Just watched the Celtics-Pacers game and it was shockingly entertaining.
WOO LAKERS TOMORROW NIGHT WOO in-season tourney you say?
The OC is Dick Browning which is also an alternate name for Nude Sunbathing.
Is that butthole tanning still a thing?
Depends who you ask.
Testicle tanning is.
.
Son. Of. A. Bitch. Congrats Scotchy.
Oh, and Redshirt.
Oh, for fucks sake, you meth addled jackasses!
Bengals…lead?
“BEN NO ALLOWED LEAD BEN GALS ANYWHERE AFTER BEN DO BAD CHOCOTACO TOUCH”
This Etienne is probably better than the Etienne in the Baroque Cycle, I remember him being kind of a shit
Suggestion: when players don’t come out for the second half because of a concussion, give me the quick stats of this kids to-date brain injury history.
That’s a decent and easy thing to do for the player’s well-being, so it will be ignored until Draft Kings suggests it as a prop-bet idea.
Yeah, I don’t see the NFL being all about raising awareness of brain injuries sans lucre
Oh my! This Kurt Browning is sure getting me hot and bothered! What ball placement! I can’t wait for the triple axel in the second half!
I want some team to do the electric slide as a td celebration
I liked the roller coaster one the Fins did. Good synchronization
No one game summaries like Berman.
Thank the baby Jeebus.
They got rid of Suzy Kolber and kept him. Wow.
Eli is maybe starting to age a bit. 10 more years and a striped tie and he might look kinda like a 50s sitcom dad
Doug Pedersen’s 10 seconds gave me more useful/pertinent information than anyone’back in the studio’ will give me.
No surprise Prison Girlfriend knows how to quickly handle dropping the soap bar.
Hah!
pretty sure there are a few rednecks buying custom browning bengal jerseys and trying to find a way to make the number “2A”
Browning getting credit for that ELITE handoff TD
Just having him on the field makes it like he’s playing 10 on 11 backyard football!
Best Browning in history:
Guns, guns, guns…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5-1nVswz0I&ab_channel=RandomMovieMoments
Send lawyers guns and money
Done!
https://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/
Clarence made A LOT of money during the ’84 Tigers’ World Series run.
“Oh fuck off”
-Elizabeth Barrett
Ma Deuce!
Sample is the generic NPC of this game
PLAYER
99
was taken
I wonder what all those dudes who got barcode tattoos at the base of their skulls back in the day are doing now?
5 to 10 in their county lock-up?
2021
January 6th
Participant
banners?
I’m drowning in Browning!
– 1 Cup
wear a suit next time
Great job, was crime scene cleaner taken?
No way this Smoot is as much fun as Fred Smoot probably
These little factoids about Browning make me realize how bullshit life coaches manage to make a living
I went to a life coach for an initial meeting, and almost burst out laughing in her face. What a crock of shit.
Life coaches all have to be either idealistic rubes who honestly believe in that crap or consciousless scam artists who don’t mind ripping off gormless idiots. I’m not either so will leave the field alone
Browning was damn good at UW
He seems much more cromulent than anyone on the Jets or Falcons roster.
“Commit half the offensive roster to blocking for ME and see how I perform!”
-S Howell
Troy is smitten with Browning, he’s just giddy and gushing about this guy.
Yeah, Troy’s a squirter.
I AM NOT! Oh wait, you’re talking about Aikman. As you were.
I like how he talks about these players investing their own money in improving.
They rich, Troy.
Enjoy these seats on a Monday Night, Teachers.
before desantis sends them to the gulag for letting kids read a book
Uncle Ron’s Jesus Re-Learning Retreat For Good Christian BOYS & GIRLS
Stupid Engram reminding me of n-grams and tech interview prep
Stupid Engram reminding me of “n grams” and my “Math For Cocaine Dealers” class
That sounds more like algerblow
I’ve not watched a lot of football this year but why don’t the Bengals secondary use their physical size and professional knowledge of the sport to put up resistance to Jaguars attacking offensive players?