Well, lookee here! They’re not the best games but at least we have a choice. (unless one is being hosted on the Alabama Outdoor Network or some other weird spot in the U.S.) I’m not going to look an early Christmas present in the mouth though.
Fallout:
-Everyone wants to make a point about Patty and Andy’s post-game interviews throwing the refs under the bus but the choice was that or throwing Toney there and I saw the wagons get circled. I don’t really care about Andy’s position that much but I think Mahomes is for the most part a standup guy that will most likely back down from his take. I’d also like to point out that Toney is a cancer but we have a bit of history there so I’ll shut it.
-They Shoot QB’s, Don’t They?: More guys go down again this week. Herbert may be playing some 8th dimensional chess, getting injured, likely missing a few games and ensuring that Staley gets fired.
-That Voodoo You Do: In case you were doubting Tomlin’s esoteric beliefs and their effect on the world/standings, the Steelers edged back into a playoff spot by not playing. That is one hell of a Bitch’s Brew our friend has concocted. He did get an assist from losses by the Texans and Colts.
-It’s not time to panic just yet but don’t tell that to an Eagles fan that has seen his team lose in the last two weeks by a combined score of 75-32. The league hasn’t “figured them out”, they just need to re-set and clean up some sloppy play.
to The Games!
Packers/Giants:
-“Tommy Cutlet” is going to weave some more magic and the whole of Jersey’s Italian community is behind him. I won’t be surprised if he ends up on the injury report, the first player ever to be listed as having “severely pinched cheeks”, after all, he’s such a good boy!
-Green Bay’s O currently ranks 17th but not over the last four weeks or so. It’s kinda weird that they’ve put up points in a fairly narrow range-20, 23, 23, 29 and 27.
-“Rashan Gary Eat Tonight!”: He’s leading the team in sacks and the Giants have given up 69 so far. DeVito’s pocket awareness is a work in progress and I think his understanding of the speed of the game needs some catching up as well.
-The Giants have a shot if they can continue gathering INT’s-although eight in the last three fixtures seems an anomaly to me.
Titans/Fins:
-King Henry does well in prime time games-he averages 94.7 under the limelight.
-Tyreek’s receiving prop tonight is an otherworldly 105.5! Has there ever been a higher one? I snickered when he said he was shooting for 2,000. I may have been the silly one. Oh, by the way, the Titans are dead last defending outside receivers.
-Achane’s running prop sits at a mere 56.5. When he touches the ball more than two times he averages 73 yards.
Bring it.
The comedian and his father was terrible
He was a 4 in the morning guy on Jerry Lewis’ Labor Day Telethon.
Hey man jerry Stiller wasn’t that bad
Of course someone named Braxxxxxton is number zero. I bet he has Ugg branded cleats.
Nate Bargatze’s dad doing magic tricks is really painfully bad tv.
It reminded me of inlaws or family insisting that I pay attention to them instead of the game. It was hilarious nostalgia on that level.
Bringing your dad on for card tricks is certainly something I wasn’t expecting
I wanna say this is charming, but it isnt
Lou Holtz nods
So, if I can get super cereal here for a second…
I think I might be done with fantasy football. I know there’s a lot of that said every year, but damn. I’m tired of the bad luck.
I’m out of the playoffs despite being #4 in scoring, I’m send in the league in points against. I lost twice to the worst person in the league, their two highest scores were against me, I scored over 150 both times, and just… blah.
I never seem to get a high draft pick, I know it’s a first world problem, but damn. It seems like the only reason I’m playing is because I’m commissioner. I could join a different league but I wouldn’t know everyone the way my own league…. idk
Every year the first snow happens, the stores fill up with holiday decorations, and guys swear off Fantasy Football. *sniff* I love these traditions
Want to run Ligue 2 of DFO? We will have relegation from Freezer Vodka (RIP TWBS) and promotion from Ligue 2. We just can’t have the same commish
Can’t wait to get relegated to watch the league
Want to run Ligue 2 of DFO? We will have relegation from Freezer Vodka (RIP TWBS) and promotion from Ligue 2. We just can’t have the same commish
Is there any room in Ligue 2 for next season?
Once we get a commish there is all the room!
As an added bonus I’m all but guaranteed to be relegated to this shit ass league.
No relegation this year! Thank jesus
If I were commish, I’d rename it to:
Lowratio’s Little League
Ok, so you are the commish. I will get your email, and we will set it up next year.
Remind me next season, I will be good for a laugh!
Tommy DeVito should ask Eli’s mom if he can come over and play Madden
tommy d is gonna teach eli how to sell stolen cigarettes to factory workers
My neighbor was like that. A drinker at 10 and dealing speed by 13. He was a bad influence on a lot of us.
He wound up going full Nazi racist, pulling a gun on the power company employee (POC) who was there to shut off his power for non-payment, he pulled a pistol on him, and got 3 years.
Dude’s mug shot was rough. Hadn’t been sleeping much it looked like.
The kid that gave me my first beer. Sucks it went that way for him.
The last time someone was as disappointed with a Chubb as I am right now, it was Deanna Favre
Banner
Giants offense is Saquon and the wisp of smoke after you blow out a candle.
I am too fantasy fade-terrified to watch either fixture. Dr. Toboggan having a rough nite?
Gumby is up by over 30, he has a tight end playing tonight, other guy has nobody. He made the playoffs in his league, after losing his first 7 games. His league is all kinds of pissy about it!
Stoma Fuckers Utd. is hanging in so far
What percentage of fantasy leagues is wisp of smoke owned in?
WOud have done better than me in the Memorial league
Petiton to rename Hard Rock Stadium to The Cove
Peyton lets Eli have the remote for a few mins
Did he switch it to Disney+ or Nickelodeon?
Hill looks like he found a bag of Mercury Morris’ “speed powder” in an old locker.
titans strategy (but replace whales with dolphins)
https://youtu.be/FmqbM5yH3Ag
Gotta nuke something.
Mannings doing Steiner math explaining the popcorn play
Packers/Giants taking ugly football to new levels.
Wasn’t there a 3-nil game yesterday?
“They’re Trying!”
Lyon over Toulouse, Ligue 1
Yeah, Lyon a normal powerhouse is in the relgation zone!
Um guys .. games on
Scott Hanson screaming at the Manning double cast I haven’t seen a bigger couple of fucking amateurs since the Pam and Tommy sex tape.
Evenin’ the internet is spotty in the arctic. Thinking of that, I haven’t seen one porno shop since I have been up there. What do they use? Their imagination?
The term “Eskimo brothers” exists for a reason
They just start downloads and hope they don’t freeze up before the naughty bits are revealed. Either that or dirty hand puppets
Limewire!
Check this out. Gumby went to the dispensary and got some prerolls. I’m willing to bet the Shield doesn’t know about this!
Be honest: you sent him to the commissary for dinner rolls, and that’s what he came back with.
I made him try to pronounce Tua’s last name. This cat would have a better shot at it, after smoking one of these Ramsrolls!
Oh, tha LA gRams, I’ve heard of them!
Metric Chef’s kiss for this
Joe Flacco celebrated his victory the normal way: buttermilk and prunes
Was he out of wintergreen ice milk?
That’s for special occasions, usually after clipping his toenails.
Whoa, can he handle that level of partying at his age??
Happy Patriots Schadenfreude Day to all who celebrate!
it kinda was after beating the stillers. theyre now multiple games behind (ahead?) for the number one overall pick
Really early this year too. Just like old times
Levis, “I want to go home, think I’ll throw a shoulder at this goliath rumbling into the end zone.”
Barreled into the QB for funsies
This is a silly game
Both inside the 20s count as the red zone for the Tits
Miami Herald headline for Tuesday
“Jacksonville, Miami fans unite for yuletide cross burning in stadium parking lot.”
FAT MAN TD
Next offseason, Tua needs to learn epee to teach him how to hold on to things.
He could also challenge his toxic father to a duel!
Vrabel looking on the verge of a Kubiak on the sidelines.
My mother in law is giving my wife career advice.
It’s like Trump giving a class in etiquette.
Peyton & Eli commenting on two games simultaneously is . . . a thing.
Not gonna lie, I kinda want to see that
(Since Star Wars was brought up)
Watching Two MNF Games at the Same Time (Artistic Interpretation) (warning for loud overlapping noises)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Olu4OdHw2lE&pp=ygUhYWxsIG5pbmUgc3RhciB3YXJzIG1vdmllcyBhdCBvbmNl
It’s like poetry, it rhymes
Waddle Injury Report: his brain stem is lodged in his pancreas.
Dolphins Medical Team: “What is with all these back injuries?!”
The BeardBrand owners, part of me admires their business, but the other part wants to put their heads in a vintage wine press and crank until my arms break off.
THIS GAME I CALL IT THE JAPANESE FISHING FLEET BECAUSE IT’S EFFICIENTLY TAKING OUT A LOT OF DOLPHINS
this is the costliest first drive since barbarossa
Before every game, Vrabel cruises high schools, find a weak ass freshman, and crams him into a locker.
considering what silicon valley has done with everyday life, we need to bully nerds proper again
I can dust off some of my old moves. I went to an all boys Catholic school, and we were some vicious assholes to each other.
……
I had to read that twice
I’ve heard Basketball Diaries was sugar coated
Now that I think about it, a “Revenge of the Jocks” film could be pretty funny.
Mark Chmura does the same, but for different reasons.
“Shotgun!”
-Mark Sanchez
+1s, then cancels it out after reading the entire comment – M. Gaetz
Peyton is getting that sweet Bud Light crisis money. Ka-Ching! (Take that, Eli)
Looks like I’m watching Miami since that’s what’s on and I’m too lazy to change it this early. And a tuna net casualty already!
Client: “How did we miss this link that was sent to us?”
Old Fozz: “Because, you dumb sack of shit, you sent me the link.”
New Fozz (starting to feel the aneurysm burst) “I had checked the link and didn’t realize it was the wrong one.”
“Sigh. Let’s get this over with.”
a) John Roberts, as to whether the Supreme Court will consider the prospect of “presidential immunity”.
b) Brett Kavanaugh, facing the last round of hazing before he’s accepted into the Delta Omegas.
c) Amy Coney Barrett, on her wedding night.
d) Yes.
e) Emily Goes to Paris is made into a movie.
That’s got to be against the Geneva Convention.
*Geneve
i think acb actually slings dat ass. her crazy eyes dont lie
American Graffiti is George Lucas’s only good movie as a director and it is a work of art.
Yeas, he made Star Wars but the best of the franchise was directed by others, but he is certainly an amazing businessman.
American Graffiti proves he actually could make a great film when he wanted to, which was not often.
Star Wars is a really shitty kids movie. THERE. I said it.
It was an imaginative movie that occurred at the right time. Every other movie/series after has been trying to approach what it reached.
Yeah, As someone who neither was alive when it came out, nor saw it as a child, if you don’t have to emotional/sentimental attachment it’s not particularly good nowadays
It was spectacular in the movie theater in 1977. There had been nothing remotely close to it before. It felt like The Future!
I was very high when I saw it, that may be why it seemed soooooo amazing!
I agree.
no, the final half of return of the jedi is a really shitty kids movie
How much coke do you have to do before you consider Ewoks a good idea?
well, considering it was indeed released in 1983…
Hold my beer
-Jar-Jar
It’s the first or second movie I saw in theatre
ONly time in your damn life the seats fit you.
I saw Star Wars when it came out. My dad took me. Walking out I asked him two questions:
The ILM tech was mind-blowing and generational. Ushered in the modern era of CGI. That’s his lasting contribution to film. Not his space-opera
Original Star Wars was all miniatures and practical effects.
Haskell Wexler once told me a corny joke that James Wong Howe had told him.
He just couldn’t get out of his own way. Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman’s performances afterwards showed they had the acting chops to pull off their roles. It was just Lucas’s script and direction that led them astray.
Also, of the six films in the film franchise, my name is on two of them.
I have some weird cold. Slamming headache all day yesterday, woke up felt fine, then by 2 pm felt like I had been beaten with a bag of coconuts by the ghost of J. Edgar Hoover. Coughing now, feeling shitty.
You’re probably just dying, don’t fret. Borboun helps, ah hear tell.
Get a Covid test, and good luck.
although this is mega bullshit, we do get a YUUUGE replacement for bobby bonilla day, almost exactly at the same time as the final bobby bonilla day (July 1, 2034) https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/shohei-ohtani-contract-deferrals-drop-annual-salary-to-2-million-on-massive-700-million-dodgers-deal/
Looking forward to overstimulated Eli running around with a towel wrapped around him like a Superman cape
Here’s me in front of Jackson Pollack’s masterpiece “One: Number 31, 1950″
MOMA, New York City
Waiting for the game, I’m listening to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club album in its entirety. The Beatles were a British band back in the 60s.
George and his fucking Hari Krishnas
ISKCON is putting a Krishna megaplex a couple of miles down the road, out in farm country. Be sure not to make change for a $20 for one, unless you want to have to practically resort to fisticuffs to get your money back.
The 60s were 60 years ago…far out man
Any relation to beetles?
Aw, no ManningCast. I was looking forward to Peyton dissecting two games and Eli hyper from two games worth of CountryTime Lemonade.
The Internet lied to me!
That may be an Ohio thing. I’m getting the Manningcast here in sunny SoCal!
As an Ohioan, I completely understand.
Hopefully he’s not having that Panera lemonade of death
I smell carnage in Miami. Tyreek around 200 yds
I’m torn on which game to watch . . .
I think I’ll go for GB@NYG, just because it could be so bizarre.
TEN@MIA seems so conventional . . .
ABC and ESPN are apparently our viewing options. OR, the Manningcast will be pulling a Redzone and monitoring both games.
I think we know what to do…
Hot sex?
Build a Trebuchet?
Drive to Mar-A-Lago and BURN THAT SON OF A BITCH TO THE GROUND!!!!
…or Concurrent ManningCast. That’ll be fun to I guess.
Build a trebuchet to fire molatov cocktails at Maralqgo whilst listening to the manning cast
/Redshirt was in the clubhouse the whole game