Your Saturday Night NFL Football Open Thread

I’d just like to say that if I comment early in this thread it means that I’ve mustered the courage to blow off my wife’s extended family’s Christmas get-together. I’ll continue to think about the consequences…

To The Game!

Broncos/Lions:

-More playoff desperation ahoy!

-Despite losing two of their last three Detroit still has a two game lead over Minny. (pending the outcome of this afternoon of course)

-Denver is in the midst of a large glut of 7-6 teams in the AFC itching for that sweet, sweet playoff appearance.

-Remarkably, with 4 more TD catches Courtland Sutton could double his career total. As for Jeudy? So much was promised this year but so little was delivered. What’s happening? The talent is undeniable-perhaps he needs a change in scenery but he’s not going to get a half-decent contract.

-LaPorta should have himself a very nice outing given that Denver’s somewhat stalwart D gives up a ton of yards to the tight end spot. With a bit of generosity they could surrender 1,000 yards before the season is done.

-Speaking of leaky D’s, the Lions have given up an average of 30 points in their last five games. Only an explosive offense has prevented them from having a losing record over that span.

-If the Broncos can steal the road win here they’ll most certainly reach the post-season because they face sub .500 teams the rest of the way.

-Goffing is Goffing up the ball to the tune of two per game down the stretch. Not good.

Have a lovely evening.

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WCS
Senor Weaselo

Solid show tonight, now to… oh goddammit, it’s after midnight, everything’s running local.

Senor Weaselo

And there’s a switch problem at 145th. Greeeeat.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Looks like the clock has struck midnight for the Broncos.

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WCS

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herodotus450

Ok I’m back from the Future and it turns out, Quarterback Dress Football actually isn’t that bad! You guys are gonna love it!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Back from the party. Still not sure what the fuck “milk punch” is, but I had three before switching to bourbon. Sharky, over to you.

King Hippo

Semen. You drank three servings of semen.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mix anything with booze and it’s not gonna be THAT bad.

WCS

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WCS

Sprots are stoopid.

Clots over Stillers 30-13
Leaves over Ice Stillers 7-0
Rick Pitino’s child over WVU 81-73

yeah right

Bon Scott AC/DC still fucking rules.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BL58K-3XGKs

King Hippo

hey, at least Donks can’t un-WOO!! my RedZone Sunday. You go Flanders-y enough, there’s always a silver lining.

Doktor Zymm

I got distracted by a jigsaw puzzle. Looks like the LioUns are doing pretty well.

Redshirt

The NFL really need a Fair Catch Buzzer to sound when a Fair Catch is signaled. #1 didn’t see the Fair Catch, he was tracking the football. Props to him though, when you’re the asshole in the situation, best you can do is accept it, apologize and don’t defend yourself.

TheRevanchist

Yep. Broncs are a dirty team. Much like the Raiders and the Chargers.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Down four scores with 11 minutes left in the game and they’re punting? Broncos are clearly waving the white flag.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Followed by an immediate act of perfidy!

Last edited 11 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Redshirt

They learned it from Leonidas and the Spartans!

The last battle of Leonidas and his troops. 300 (youtube.com)

King Hippo

I turned it off once it became clear I wouldn’t get any garbage time goodies for Cort Sutton and Grimace Touched My Butthole.

Vokda Hippo will sail into the raging semis, though.

Horatio Cornblower

Payton punting there is about as blatant a white flag as you’ll ever see north of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Horatio Cornblower

Martha Ford is gonna have two pudding pops tonight!

Horatio Cornblower

Not sure why Payton is hollering at Wilson. Wilson isn’t the one hoarding challenge flags.

King Hippo

or kicking FGs from the 5 down 3 goddamned TDs

Horatio Cornblower

There’s that, too.

Wilson should throw a pick-6 on the first play here, then flip off Payton.

Full ‘Bad News Bears’ Yankees pitcher move.

King Hippo

I wish this performance said MOAR about Detroit than Denver, but even my mango/navy-coloUred glasses can’t fool me into believing it.

Horatio Cornblower
hippofant

Pat Mahomes now got the refs calling offensive offsides on everybody!

Horatio Cornblower

Broncos just scored TDs on three straight plays and now have to kick a FG.

The NFL officiating continues to be atrocious.

Gumbygirl

That was disgraceful.

SonOfSpam

UCLA playing their best half of football all season. Inspired by Gronk no doubt.

SonOfSpam

lol and they give up a 66 yard TD run, will I never learn

Horatio Cornblower

Pleased to announce the hot chocolate has been made.

LemonJello

Marshmallows or whipped cream?

Horatio Cornblower

Marshmallows. Little ones.

Gumbygirl

I bought these chocolate covered stir sticks with tiny marshmallows stuck on them as part of my SILs’ Christmas present. I hope they’re as good as they look.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

21-0? Damn, did Russ run out of propane?

LemonJello

He’s getting into smoking now, slow and low.

yeah right

Nano bubbles

Gumbygirl

That is some ” I just pulled a train in the jock dorm” hair.

Horatio Cornblower

Amon-Ra St. Brown just made every highlight reel for tonight.

ArmedandHammered

Yep, surprised there was no flag when he kicked the football after the TD.

Horatio Cornblower

“Have that worker drone fined!”

R. Goodell

SonOfSpam

Speaking of leaky D’s

That’s why you wear underwear

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or a bra.

LemonJello

I feel as though Trent’s brain is on a 7 second delay.

Horatio Cornblower

/Trent’s brain, lying in a hammock and sipping a margarita

What’s that, now?

Horatio Cornblower

Remember when everyone, yours truly included, thought the Rams got the worst of it when they took Goff and the Eagles took Palmer?

Boy, those were the days.

King Hippo

It’s all ok because #ShamePizza will allow me to eat my feelings.

yeah right

I propose a vote before the house.

The term “Chunk play” or its derivative “Chunks” shall be stricken from the announcers vocabulary hence forth!

The only variation is if a lineman has the nick name of “Chunks” because that would be cool.

Last edited 11 months ago by yeah right
LemonJello

Seconded.

Horatio Cornblower

I second, but also move that we consider “chunk play” for use when a fat guy has a nice return on a turnover but doesn’t score.

Last edited 11 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

I remember I really wanted the Cowboys to draft Surtain, then the Broncos took him and Dallas had to settle for Micah Parsons and that’s why I shouldn’t be a GM.

Last edited 11 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

Unlike BFC I took a pre-dinner nap and have no social obligations to speak of after having been out three straight nights.

You know you’re on the losing side of 50 when you’re unreasonably excited about staying in while wearing flannel pajamas and maybe, just maybe, getting nuts enough to make hot chocolate after 9:30 pm!

LemonJello

I think DangeRuss may have just seen Jesus on that last sack.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oy, I took a post dinner nap and cannot believe I’m managing to will myself to a social obligation in another neighborhood now.

And by can’t believe I mean I’m questioning every decision I’ve made that’s led me into this Uber.

LemonJello

Will there be booze at this social obligation?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Of course, I don’t (voluntarily) hang out with Mormons

King Hippo

#TriumphOfTheWill

Doktor Zymm

I don’t know how many reusable bags a person needs, but I’m pretty sure I have far, far more than that

Gumbygirl

They multiply like rabbits. I have a zillion too, but I consistently forget to put them in my car, and then I have to pay 10 cents a shame bag at Vons. I am not a good hippie, except for the weed!

LemonJello

This game so far:

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LemonJello

Donks strategy of not blocking the Loins defenders is…interesting?

Doktor Zymm

Chunky TD!

Correction, in the general direction of a TD

Last edited 11 months ago by Doktor Zymm
King Hippo

uhhhhh, that wasn’t super charming

King Hippo

D-O-N-K-S WOO!!!!!!

ArmedandHammered

Lol, fat guy fumble recovery and jog towards the end zone.

King Hippo

fortunately just cost us field position. Because WOO!!!!

WCS

So uh, Stillers ain’t gon Tah to superbowl are they

Last edited 11 months ago by WCS
WCS

Even the shitty bowl games are shitty.

I want a refund.

ArmedandHammered

So what did I miss today?

ArmedandHammered

Well besides football, rest and relaxation, personal comfort, and lots of holiday cookies.

Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

Hopefully the end of the Mitch Trubisky Experience

ArmedandHammered

I thought he had already been put out of our misery.

Gumbygirl

I meant permanently!

Gumbygirl

Colleen Whatsername is giving peak slutty Angie Dickinson does the entire Ratpack, except Joey Bishop because eww vibes.

Brick Meathook

Selfie in the doors of the Bradbury Building

Downtown Los Angeles, 12/16/23

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Gumbygirl

That’s the one with all the cool iron galleries inside, right?

Brick Meathook

yes

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Gumbygirl

Gorgeous!

LemonJello

You’re taller than I imagined.

Horatio Cornblower

Love those old doors.

Lot of buildings in Waterbury and Naugatuck have that kind of architecture. Unfortunately there are no businesses in those buildings anymore and they’ll likely all deteriorate beyond saving.

LemonJello

Does Trent Green know where he is right now?

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King Hippo

His eye focus was a bit unsettling, wasn’t it?

King Hippo

These are interesting teams, you chose correctly. As a fellow old, you can go without sex a few weeks.

Sharkbait

It’s not releasing the Kraken, but let go Rangers

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Horatio Cornblower

Solid seats, excellent viewing.

King Hippo

Montana/NDSU is quality appetizer FITBAW

ballsofsteelandfury

No Westwood Klavern for you??

King Hippo

well, it’s my flippy option now. But the JV-JV ending swas excellent

Mr. Ayo

GRIZ!

What a bananacakes finish

King Hippo

what is their version of BOW DOWN?

Mr. Ayo

GRIZ!

At least that’s all I’ve heard.

King Hippo

best to keep it simple with y’all prospector types