Let’s keep the good times rolling.
To The Games!
Niners/Cards:
Potential upset here? The Cards have unlikely wins vs the Cowboys and Steelers and gave the Ravens a run for their money. I guess they’re able to pounce if a team doesn’t take them seriously. Otherwise it’s same old, same old despite the subtraction of Koach Kliff. The Niners don’t have much recent footage of Kyler because he hasn’t played against them since October of 2021. Recently groovy MVP candidate (he won’t win because McCaffrey will split the vote) Purdy should have an easy time of it because Arizonny has the 4th-worst pressure rate. Maybe draft an edge fella with that high draft pick?
Commies/Rams:
Howell leads the league with 39.2 pass attempts per tilt and that stat is going to go nowhere but up. Has it done Washington any good? Nope. Stafford is on a roll as the team tries to get into the playoffs (they’re still my pick as a sneaky good team that will surprise) having thrown at least 3 TD’s in his last three games. Added to that is the fact that Kyren is single-handedly making the run game effective-he’s run for 100+ in four of his last six. Make that 5 of 7-the Commies D has given up the ghost.
Cowboys/Bills:
Buffalo is on the outside of the playoffs and looking in which just doesn’t seem right. Nobody talks about Dallas defensive tackle Odighizuwa, probably because no one can type or pronounce his name properly but he’s been amazing in the trenches, having the second-best pass rush win rate behind a certain Aaron Donald. In other news, the rich get richer. [spits on ground] Diggs has been fairly quiet (which is unusual for him) these last four weeks but Dallas plays man 64% of the time and Steph shines bright in that coverage. Look for Allen to pass all day given the fact that his EPA while throwing is .16 and the figure for designed run plays is a meager .04.
Have at it.
Brick, my wife’s in that video. Please do not post that.
Sincerely,
Horatio
Ah shit I got cut at the post border. Will have to repost this in new time slot.
You got it bud.
I reframed it to not show anybody clearly, but if you ask I will comply.
It’s deleted off Vimeo so it shouldn’t show up here or anywhere.
I sent you the original earlier. I’ll send you this one too. It really is fantastic.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
How is your comment under my name?
I have editing powers for all posts.
Don’t ask me why, I do not know why or how I was granted this awesome power.
It’s okay Horatio. I would never post (or say) anything that would offend anyone, unless I was drunk.
That was a great moment though, my friend. I was there.
Maybe I’ll make a new version with Japanese-style pixelization on everyone’s faves. If I do I’ll submit it to you first for approval (which I should have done here).
If you can do a manga version of it I will very likely approve that thing with a quickness.
It was a great moment for all concerned.
The best part is the nonchalance, but maybe in ten years we can explore reposting it.
Every Tomsula gets theirs except Aiyuk. FML.
I CALL KADARIUS TONEY A PERPETUAL THREE MONTH-OLD BOY BECAUSE HE’S ALWAYS DROPPING BALLS
My word! I thought these American cattle ranchers were supposed to be adept at managing herds of wild buffalo! Perhaps it’s time to try chasing them off of a cliff?
It’s a Cowboy trying to do a Cowman’s job
Slow motion shows Buffalo defender with a fistful of Ferguson’s jersey, no PI call.
By the way, someone can probably just as easily do this for all the missed calls on Dallas. The point is that NFL officiating is really, really bad.
Yeah, officiating isn’t an easy job, but the NFL doesn’t really support officials well and it could be way better. In the long term it probably evens out, and in the short term it doesn’t decide things in the way that ‘Touchdown Seahawks!’ did, but still blows and detracts from the quality of the game as an entertainment product
Exactly. It’s more a perception thing than anything else, especially when in pretty much every game there seems to be at least one howlingly bad call that gives some team an advantage, even if momentarily.
And it’s more of a problem now that the NFL has so openly hitched their wagon to GAMBLOR!!
The Bearistocrats!
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/18krozn/highlight_fields_hail_mary_attempt_gets_dropped/
yeah, am going back to a coma.
Fuck. Out of LDBC.
Def should have declined the neighbor’s Christmas party invitation.
I’m still in, oddly enough. I went to the mall the other day, and Target yesterday. Christmas carols everywhere, no LDB.
Just burning through Dallas players now.
Beginning to think they should just forfeit no matter what. Everyone’s just out there dying.
Meanwhile, hot yachting action on CBS.
When did it happen that boats stayed completely out of the water except for two little sticks that the whole boat is balanced on? And why aren’t boarding parties allowed?
Needs more cannons. 2/10.
You arm those boats with cannons and a squad of marines, and I’ll watch.
Same thing with Nascar. You give a driver two shots of tequila every 5th lap and I’m tuning in.
If the game is going to be officiated like this Dallas may as well just walk off the field and forfeit.
No reason to get anyone hurt in a game that’s already been decided.
Niners Whoopsie Doodle!
Wait, what was that song in the outro?
It was the end of Under the Milky Way. You guys were no help at all, I had to remember it all by myself. Now my brain hurts.
Actually that part is in the middle, kind of sounds like bagpipes.
CeeDee delivers. Dallas needed that 1st down
Probability Dak gets hurt this game?
Also, digging the beachball action in the stands
Buffalo is certainly gonna give it the ol’ college try from the looks of things.
It’s basically a heatwave in Buffalo right now.
Owwie. Dak took a whak.
It’s fine, its mostly ham in that helmet.
How is that head shot on Dak not an ejection?
Of course everyone in Buffalo talks about the Bills. You’re sure as hell not going to talk about the Sabres.
Or the Bandits
/but they should
//if you know you know
Is OJ still a thing for Buffalo?
Keeps the from talking about the weather.
So I found a deer antler in the gutter and brought it home, and that idiot dog started chewing on it and growling at anyone who came near her. Had to bribe her away with bread.
Nee Years Eve, 1977. Our dumbass friend Randy Pechart made a pipe out of an elk horn. Gumby was the first one to take a hit off it, imnediately started puking his guts out. Dumbass Randy hadn’t cleaned any of the marrow and stuff out of it first. It was so gross.
I don’t know if Randy should ever come to another one of your parties.
Gnawing out the marrow is what the dog is for. They love that shit. Don’t ever give a dog a cooked bone, though (it will splinter badly). Raw only, please. It’s a bone.
I suppose an antler is not really a bone, but more like an elaborate toenail (or a really elaborate strand of hair). I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, except that my dogs, my mom, and my sister all loved gnawing on bone marrow.
This Bills team will fumble and let Dallas back in this.
I suspect Dallas will just fumble it right back. Feels like one of those kind of games.
Blatant holding against #14 on Dallas on the running play. No call.
Brock got rocked Purdy badly
Lexus dog sled commercial. You know somewhere there’s an enclave of rich white douchebags whose hobby is dogsledding. You just fucking know it.
Did they put the big fucking red bow on the car?
One of my wife’s coworkers was supposed to go dog sledding this weekend as part of some wilderness getaway thingy but we assumed it was cancelled due to lack of snow
“outing canceled on account of wolves”
Johnny Depp cologne commercial. I wish I had been on the set, costume designer, I would have sprayed those clothes with blood so those wolves would have shredded him like cheap meat.
NFL scouts are now looking for special athletes who can freeze themselves in mid air to avoid roughing the passer or kicker.
Most those calls are bullshit.
Alabama will the 1st to recruit one
Yeah, its going to be “that” kinda game for Dallas.
This seems like a game I’m going to wind up doing a lot of work during.
Are there ever balls that receivers don’t “just gotta catch”? I mean, their job is catching balls, if it’s catchable they should probably gotta catch it
Maybe!?!, /!? (#?
That’s Horatio’s Cowpersons!
The infamous lack of discipline inherent to a Mike McCarthy team has been hidden lately, but can never be completely buried.
(they just got away with a pretty blatant facemark on that last play, too)
Speaking of toys, this is what I bought my great niece for Christmas. Ruh-roh!
https://youtu.be/Ba25S_AqGRo?feature=shared
That is awesome skill. Usually I would just throw toys directly into the fire. Or set them on fire. I melted tons of plastic army men in my day.
At the party, my father’s old secretary was there and said, “Did you ever hear the Tinker Toy story?”
“Nope.”
Apparently my father – an OBGYN by trade – was taking care of a patient who had severe bladder pain. So he’s got her up in the stirrups, has the flashlight or whatever, and is probing around.
“Were you having sex last night on your bed?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have children?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, well just sit still, because there is a tinker toy wedged against the wall of your uterus and I have to take it out.”
That story is great, but it would be so much funnier if the answer to either or both of those questions was ‘no’
They sanitized it and put it into a clear plastic cube and kept it in the office.
Yet another reason not to have children!
(FWIW I would totally play with Tinker Toys, but I’m responsible enough to keep them contained in appropriate spaces)
Last night’s drink menu: two Manhattans (extra strong), three IPAs (6.5% alcohol), two glasses of Wild Turkey 100, one super powerful vodka and Canada Dry Cranberry Diet soda.
My son had friends over, and when we got home I was apparently dedicated to going downstairs and drinking with them.
Mrs. Fozz denied this action.
I woke up, fully clothed except for my shoes, on the couch.
Announcer: “Boy this Dallas offensive line sure is great!”
/Next three plays
Holding, complete whiff on a block, sack
“You never want to go full Giants offensive line, ever.”
-Mike Solari, on the sideline
This Bills Defense unit is kinda catty.
I don’t blame Zack Martin for that one.
“YER GOTTDAMMED RIGHT, HE’S GOTTA PROTECT MAH QB, HE’S A STAR!! YYYEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeHHAAAAWWWWWwwwwww I AM FUCKIN’ CRAZYYYYYYYY!!!!”
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Can we have some more Bird on Miner violence. Please.
“You had me at minor. Oh, ‘Miner.’ Never mind”
Matt Gaetz
“Ok, wait. Was it a really young miner?”
Brought the fam to the local for the Man U Livrpool game. Drank played darts (deci improving) Got home tipsy.
“DAD, we need to listen to music and build Lego.”
“Give Dad 5 mins. ”
/Smokes a J
Let’s do this.
So I guess the Refs in Buffalo just let the play go for a long as it takes for the Bills player to gain a few yards. Interesting.
Was just talking about this with a friend of mine. It’s becoming like rugby. I think they’ll probably get rid of it in the off-season, or make ‘stopping on forward progress’ a ‘point of emphasis’ for referees next year.
Which doesn’t help today.
Can’t wait for the line outs
So forward progress just isn’t a thing anymore?
It’s more existential now, do the refs think the runner is moving forward in life??
Current status:
Winning!
Josh Allen is an excellent actress
I’ve seen less obvious diving in soccer.
Micah just died
He has RISEN!
Micah Parsons limping off, is he important??
Elite Flacco
Charred Various Ward TD!
Afternoon Folks.
This game, by the way, seems like an excellent opportunity for Dallas to trip over their own dicks.
It’s a given, Dallas will shoot their own dicks off here
“Trip over their own dicks?” [faints]
-D. Favre
Mooney or Toney. Pick your dropper.
That was like a net 6 or 7-point swing in my fantasy matchup (I started #ThePauls D/ST)
Quite the ending in Cleveland. Steamy, even.
Lake effect Bearsenschiesse.
Oh lawd, i lol’d!