Good morning, and congratulations for making it through another year of Hippo’s nonsense. I will have NFL recap and JV NFL verbal diarrhea for y’all again on Monday, but that’s a matter for next year.
No goddamned resolutions. Self-improve or don’t, but who gives a fuck about same in relation to the calendar.
Festive Fixtures have been a delightful addition to the American sportsball calendar, and this Saturday is no exception. Even if it’s all just prelude to the titanic Fuck LioUns v. Cowpersons tilt this evening.
Martin Prince (and his Lutes) hour comes early, with Chelski visiting the decrepit, wonderful bandbox (7:30, USA). It’s nice to see them putting up a fight to stay in the Prem. Futile or not, at least they aren’t taking fuckshit lying down.
Wolves and Everton are TV’s choice for the 10:00 window (USA), thought it will likely be kind of a slog. You can stream City of Men taking their frustrations out on Team Knifey, if you want a snuff film to stream. A few other dull matchups, too.
Men Untied then venture into Nottingham to fight the Robins Hood (12:30, NBC). Surely, their new, reactionary, chemical plant-owning minority owner will want to see that shit exterminated, post haste. Makers not takers ,, amirite??
Both Sunday matches are at 9:00 (BOO!), with Spurs/Cherries on TV (USA). Spurs crashing back to earth, Cherries zooming up the table. Should be a very good watch, as we get ready for NFL Week 17. Afternoon fixtures Monday and Tuesday, too. Enjoy!
Ole Miss (+4.5) v. Paedo State – Republican Jesus Chicken Bowl (Noon, ESPN)
How in the goshdarn HECK are the Paedos favoured here? Everybody knows that’s LIBTARD shit smgdh. Mississippi is pretty much the ideal state for Republican Jesus! Git ‘er dun on ALL TEH MUDFLAPS!!! But in all seriousness, I’ve been told that pre-game at “The Grove” in Oxford, MS is a life changing/neck-breaking experience. Let’s gooooooo, Johnny Reb, show them YANKEES wut’s wut.
Auburn (-6.5) v. Maryland – Trannies Are Perfect in Tennessee Bowl (2:00, ABC)
TransPerfect? Talk about pissing Republican Jesus off. Can’t y’all see he’s cis-armed to the teeth??? Anyway, Vegas thinks a bad SEC West team is better than a mediocre B1G East team by almost a full tuddy. I tend to agree, but War Damn Eagle is as schizo a 6-6 as one can imagine.
Georgia (-20) v. Florida State – Remember When The Orange Bowl Mattered? Bowl (4:00, ESPN)
I was a little taken aback when this line opened at 14.5. It is now 20. And people will STILL argue that the Semenholes (after scraping by Louisville in the ACC title game, after which ‘Ville got boatraced by 7-5 Troi Boiz walkons) belonged in the playoff. Uh….no. Just no. I am an alumnus of an ACC school, and can speak for the quality of play this year. And they didn’t even have to play anybody good (even good for the ACC).
Toledo (+3.5) v. Wyoming – It’s the Desert, Bruh! Bowl (4:30, CW)
Looky-loo, the Barstool cretins finally decided to simulcast this pile of feces on a pseudo-real network, this year. Cowboys’ coach is retiring after this game, so they will be loaded for bear to take out these Rocketmen. I actually know where the CW is on my channel listings, because they televise 3rd tier ACC games. So…the Wolven Sort like three times already.
So, assuming it hasn’t been said already…
1 loss Georgia deserved the playoffs more than undefeated Florida state ever did
I thought FSU got a bad deal a month ago. I don’t think that anymore.
I legit think georgia is pissed they got left out of the conversation entirely
Wow! Florida State showed up?
We should probably gravitate to Boris’ post-he doesn’t get nearly the love he deserves for the work he puts in.
Really, truly not trying to dunk on the B1G – they are clearly the 1(b) to the SEC’s 1(a) in JV NFL World Order. But if you put 6 SEC and 6 B1G in a 12-team tourney every Dec/Jan…the SEC produces the champion at least 80% of the time.
It’s a consistently excellent sportsball product, and I respect that (as a neutral viewer).
I don’t like Lane Kiffin very much, but I appreciate how motivated he is to smash the Paedos.
Hard to cheer for either team but one has been a joke for most of my life and the other harboured a serial child molester for decades.
I’ve heard that, after much deliberation, that the Ravens have chosen the lead in song for Ray Rice’s “Legend of the Game” ceremony:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vimZj8HW0Kg
Was Smack My Bitch Up already taken by Jim Brown? He’s dead now so I don’t think he would mind.
Brings to mind what has happened that we don’t know about because sport status carried so much more weight back then. Especially in smaller, insular communities.
/if I’m not mistaken I read a bio about Vince Lombardi that hints at domestic abuse
Forget sports I’m worried about my own families history of that sometimes…
I know neither of my grandpas would ever lay a hand on a woman, but damn, the way my dad talks about, my great grandfather and the way he and granpa butted heads..I’m glad i never got the chance to meet the man
Not incorrect. Quietly known but unspoken. Catholics gonna catholic. Also fitbawl. This town will take dvda to cover up any issues of our “church.”
Speaking of New Year’s Eve:
Lately I’ve been lurking on the Am I The Asshole reddit, and there’s a recent post the gist of which is: poster’s friend is getting married on New Year’s Eve. A week or two ago, the poster got word that this was going to be a dry wedding. (There was nothing on the invitations or anything “official” — as far as the groom was concerned, his friends were going to find out when they got there.) Groom confirmed that yes, there will be no alcohol at the wedding per the bride’s family. Redditor and other friends of the groom start texting, and now the Redditor and about a dozen other folks — basically the entire friend group other than those in the bridal party — changed their RSVP to no. Groom of course is furious.
Seems like an “Everyone’s an Asshole” situation here. Having your wedding on NYE is kind of douchey. (Everyone here is apparently early 30s or so, for what it’s worth.) Having a dry wedding is… well, not douchey, I recognize there are valid reasons, but let’s just say that weddings in general tend to suck, and sitting through one without a drink is a chore. Having a dry wedding and not telling anyone in advance that it’s dry is definitely douchey — you don’t have to put it on the invites, but at least get the word out well in advance among your friends to set expectations appropriately. Also, this has all the hallmarks of “groom you’re never going to see again, because he’s decided that Those Days Are Behind Him now that he’s married.
That said, if it’s truly a good friend, you suck it up and attend, leave about ten minutes after dessert is served, and fuck off to a nearby bar with the fun people. (Some people suggested pre-gaming or bringing a flask, but that is likely to incur wrath for “how dare you disrespect our wishes like that.”) Of course, if it’s a casual acquaintance, then fuck them for trying to deceive me into attending what amounts to a shitty party.
Mind you, the Redditors are laying it on a little thick with the “you’re all alcoholics and shame on you.” They’re a little weird in that subreddit.
Making people travel on a hellish/expensive holiday like NYE is mega-super douchey. Want to get married on NYE? Fucking elope, then.
A NYE wedding is as bad if not worse than a long weekend wedding.
Friend of mine had his wedding at a beer-only venue and his groomsman gifts were flasks
See that actually could have been kind of cool if he’d gone to the trouble of filling them up first.
He might have? This was ages ago and I wasn’t a groomsman so my account is not all that detailed
I remember contemplating posting an AITA post when that dickhead yelled at me for taking a lime off his neighbor’s tree that was hanging over the sidewalk, but I didn’t want to be repeatedly told that I’m worse than Hitler.
No doubt you would also be diagnosed as a narcissist, and redditors would hope that your neighbor would get counselling for his or her trauma. They’re big on therapy-speak there, I’ve noticed.
I have never seen so many people simultanously misuse the term ‘grooming’ as on some of those threads. Basically every single time there’s a mention of a relationship with a largish age differential.
Me, 86 (m), and my girlfriend, 79 (f) GROOMER!!!!
You must go NO CONTACT for life with anyone who offends you even slightly.
That is a toxic use of capital letters! No contact for you!
I’m posting this to r/ JustNoDFO, you are an abusive narcissist who needs therapy!
Just kidding Zymm, please don’t kill me
Citrus Hitler, Citler!
I agree they should put the word out that it’s a dry wedding. Other than that it’s their ceremony so have at it. Friends will attend with or without alcohol. If you must drink as a guest, you are the one with an issue not your hosts.
I think the move would be to attend the wedding. If they had a gift registry purchase their gift there. Greet them in the receiving line after the wedding ceremony and bail on the reception.
You’ve covered your friendly obligation and let them know that what kind of shit head has a reception on New Years Eve without alcohol without having to say the words.
The only problem with that is that you still have to travel for the wedding, although I guess these people have probably already made arrangments at this point.
Otherwise I like that, considering that RSVPs are usually more for the reception it’ll result in a bunch of conspicuously empty seats and leftover plates so the statement will be there
For what it’s worth, I got the impression that the guests in question are all local, so no travel/airfare/hotels involved.
Also, one of the things the groom was yelling at the redditor for was that the cancelled RSVPs meant they were “wasting” money on catering etc. for people who had bailed. Doesn’t make a lot of sense to me — they were paying that money anyway whether the seats got filled and the food got eaten or not — but a lecture on “sunk costs” probably woudn’t help the situation!
And they did give some notice, so they could invite last minute guests from the bride’s side if they wanted.
Teaching economic concepts through wedding disasters would be pretty hilarious
Huh. My experience has been that food caterers get paid by the plate.
It’s probably far too late to change it at this point, so insisting that there is a difference in whether they show up and eat the pre-paid food or not would fall under the sunk cost fallacy
I wonder if some venues are cheaper on NYE?
Also, if they never actually communicated their wishes they shouldn’t expect them to be respected
I would have thought the opposite. But maybe they booked a place without a liquor license?
Yeah, I was thinking places like monuments or rec halls that are popular but require bringing in your own catering.
And pay your musicians time and a half!
#biasedcomment
The solution is editables
And here I was thinking ablest slurs were “pussy who gets killed by his brother in the Bible”
That is SO GOOD that I didn’t get it straight away. Buddy = LEGEND
I’m covering my mouth to avoid laughing loud enough that my wife and her mother ask me what’s so funny. We need a +2 button for comments like that.
I would like to thank whichever one of you provided me the link to BlueSky, as I can now foist my inanities and vulgarities on the powers that be
As long as you remember where your real friends are!
Very Disappointing Everton is living up to that name today.
We like to remind everyone of our roots now and then
As opposed to “Disappointing Evelyn” which the title of your sex tape.
My New Years Eve plans you ask? Well, I’m probably going to drive home from the airport, unpack a little, maybe do some reading and then go to bed. I know, I know, nawt everyone can party like me
I will be asleep by 10 pm.
I haven’t stayed up until midnight for more than a decade.
I’m forced to by family tradition. I’d much rather just go to bed like normal. Stepping outside to catch the fireworks is OK. We get a nice view of the towns along the side of the mountains getting after it.
It’s usually not fireworks here so much as gunfire for the noise.
You can play the game ‘firework or gunshot?’ it’s a Chicago 4th of July mainstay
The only way I’ll make it is if SNF is compelling. Seeing that it’s…Packers/Vikes?? I wouldn’t bet on it.
I read that as SNL and thought, “When is that ever compelling?” I need to go get some coffee.
I stayed up until 5a (I did have afternoon nap) so I could get oldest spawn to the airport (which was still a madhouse at 4:30). There’s not enough caffeine in the world to make me sentient, though I am having a go anyway.
I only do it when working at the resto
I made it past midnight last year mostly because it was pouring rain and we had a river running down our street.
Accompanying photo
Where did you get my picture?
It’s not a night to be any place where you need to drive home late. Too many drunks on the road and why be a statistic.
We’re going to a hockey game at 3:00, might make a very brief appearance at a friend’s party, and will be home in front of TV’s warming glow by 10.
My flight gets in around 8:30 or 9 pm, so should also be home by 10!
Thank you for your service, ma’am
My gig got canceled, so evening in.
I’m fully expecting to see whatever episodes of Batman: TAS Senorita Weaselo hasn’t already showed me in the last two weeks. And maybe Harlequinade again.
Thug life. We are the Party People!
Macafee has sleeves on. The apocalypse is indeed coming.
This was also scrawled in an esoteric native language on parchment in Belmopan
Series A is wrapping it up today. Italians don’t be dickin around with a party holiday as sacred, and serious, as New Years Eve.
Napoli drew yesterday on their way to what looks like a mediocre season this year.
And Marika is dressed up for tomorrow nights festivities.
I don’t know if any of you have noticed, but Marika has ginourmous hooters.
Really?