Win? In. It’s That Simple. Your Saturday Night NFL Football Open Thread

I’m quite sure this is the very first time I’ve ever been on a Team Texas but they are a great story. No doubt my Sillycuse, Senators and Giants allegiances will not cause them to fall flat on their faces.

To The Game!

Texans/Colts:

-The first tilt between these two in week two opened everyone’s eyes as to who might be the better qb-Stroud or Young. The former heaved for 384 yards and a duet of TDs.

-Can Minshew and especially Pittman exploit an Houston D that can get pressure but also gives up 240 air yards per game?

-Whenever a young team unexpectedly does well there’s usually a few unsung guys doing some heavy lifting and not getting their fair share of the credit. My vote for the Texans goes to defensive end Jonathan Greenard and his 12 1/2 (and counting) sacks.

-Closer: Indy sports the league’s best record in one score games at 6-2.

-Rounding Into Shape?: Last week Houston held the Titans (sorry, DonT) to 1 for 12 on third down conversions and had their third 6 sack game of the year. A lot of that is on Tennessee but a team with playoff hopes has to stomp on their lessers when the opportunity arises.

-Of Stroud’s 24 combined TD’s (run and throw) only 6 have come on the road. That said, C.J. has the 2nd-highest completion percentage on throws over 20 yards and Indy is third worst defending downfield. I’d feel a bit better about their chances if Noah Brown were on the field as well but Nico will have to step up.

Take it away!

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Mr. Ayo

DOINK!

Can’t believe everyone here missed it.

WCS

Tomlin Voodoo is real.

We’re witnessing it, live. There’s no refuting it now.

King Hippo

A Draw gets them IN, yeah?

SonOfSpam

Yup

SonOfSpam

Haven’t seen a Gay aim for a post like that since Lindsey Graham tried to become Secretary of State.

Doktor Zymm

Doinky!

fleshwound_NPG

still tied!

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jjfozz

curcy, vno?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

DOINK

BugEyedBoo

Doink!

King Hippo

How Gay does Steichen wanna go here??

King Hippo

DOINK GAY!

fleshwound_NPG

“no thanks, im full”

-l. graham

King Hippo

You’re WHAT???? – Andy R., Kansas City, MO

jjfozz

i know it’s not good to rejoice in a person’s fpain or setback, but fuck this guy. fuck him with a torpedo.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If Tebow made a living off of that throw in college, was Troy implying Florida paid him?

Downfield Matriculator

Tie Game!

fleshwound_NPG

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Mr. Ayo

Just so everyone’s aware and won’t waste their time:

officefantasy.com is a parked domain with no content.
officefantasy1.com does not exist
officefantasy2.com is a parked domain with no content.
officefantasy3.com does not exist
Also, 4 and 5 do not exist, so I stopped.

fleshwound_NPG

thank god for pinterest

(and pr0n forums)

Mr. Ayo

I love those!

— D. Carradine

Downfield Matriculator

Yeeeeeeeah!

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SonOfSpam

I hope that guy Downs on the Colts inherits the Superdome and decides to make it a place for nonstop orgies and name it the Downs SinDome.

Unrelated, I have had nothing alcoholic in 2024.

Mr. Ayo

I didn’t realize Sam Darnold was on the Colts team.

Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have the option of hanging around in the living room with my wife and mother-in-law and watching a Korean version of the movie “Splash” with no subtitles and no boobies, or retreat upstairs to the bedroom and watch the rest of this game by myself and then later get yelled at for being antisocial.

Mr. Ayo

We acknowledge and appreciate your sacrifice for our solidarity.

LemonJello

Choice seems pretty clear to me.

WCS

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Is this still around?

fleshwound_NPG

he died in 2015, theyre camping world rvs now i think

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s too bad the business didn’t get bought up by William Olest.

SonOfSpam

No One Services You Like A Raper!

Brick Meathook

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yeah right

We’ve got to get Gardner Minshew into Russia because he’s guaranteed to overthrow Putin.

Downfield Matriculator

I am waiting for the insurance companies to merge so we get a commercial where the LIMU Emu swallows the Geico Gecko whole, only to then get trucked by the Mayhem guy driving an RV.

fleshwound_NPG

if this means i haveta get a new agent, hard pass. fine where i stand https://www.instagram.com/amandaismyagent/p/C0b-dpsrSf8/

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How does Flo figure into this?

fleshwound_NPG

good question

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LemonJello

She’s blowing Mayhem in the RV.

LemonJello

Jake from State Farm is on deck and warming up.

Mr. Ayo

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ballsofsteelandfury

Thank you!

fleshwound_NPG

fat humps in early trouble. indiana only allowed a few people per year to be successful and not much more. might take a few years https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4Z4dyVANA8

yeah right

Welcome to Indianapolis where Bob Segar is still relevant.

And played over and over and…

Doktor Zymm

Beckdown!

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Mr. Ayo

Where it’s at!

yeah right

Next to the 2 turntables and the microphone.

LemonJello

This Madden game simulation is pretty interesting.

WCS

The Ice Stillers-Ice Bills match is on bath salts.

fleshwound_NPG

ice dolphins and ice donks earlier was on something stronger

WCS

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fleshwound_NPG

avs goalies are on 80s cocaine and posting 80s goalie numbers this year

Brick Meathook

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Sharkbait

Ice Giants – Ice Allouettes just got level

Mr. Ayo

ICE HOX GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS!

WHOOOOOOOOO!

yeah right

That’s right! I’m going to Indy in April.
Staying across the street from this stadium.

I’m getting a pork tenderloin sandwich.

BULLEE DAT!!

Mr. Ayo

But, the Indy 500 isn’t until May?

yeah right

But the total eclipse of the sun is in April.

fleshwound_NPG

99% chance of overcast indiana skies, book it

yeah right

My buddy from Jersey is driving there. We’ll have a car and I’ll make that fucker drive until we find a clear sky.

LemonJello

When’s the total eclipse of the heart?

yeah right

Turn around bright eyes.

Gumbygirl

Once upon a time I was falling in love. Now I’m only falling apart. Ain’t that the truth.

Mr. Ayo

Enjoy!

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WCS

booooooooooooooooooo

fleshwound_NPG

lookit at our incredibly dumb boy stare at the sun

yeah right

Got the sentiment but I can’t plus 1 the photo.

Mr. Ayo

Totally understand and agree

Gumbygirl

How about this one?

30d51f35-f739-44e0-86ff-b5069ebaa35c_935x577.jpg
Doktor Zymm

The Snyders were so fucked that they had a whole staff of currently successful coaches in 2013 and yet went 3-13

fleshwound_NPG

this is now what panthers fans get to look forward to!

WCS

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jjfozz

agrument with mrs fozz tonight iw fi was sober enough to drive 10 mintues to pick up the kids from light rail after game. i lost. i can drive when i’m blacked out

rockingdog

Found a funny;

love the fact that shakespeare named a play “much ado about nothing.” imagine a huge blockbuster coming out that’s just called “who gives a shit”

jjfozz

someone would ebe offended

Downfield Matriculator

I am assuming that will be the title of either the next Marvel movie or the next Fast and Furious Movie

fleshwound_NPG

oh look, another “hotshot” coordinator thats about to become yet another fired nfl coach next year

jjfozz

I know for a fact Ravens fans are guly, but compared to Coltsfans, we’re the fucking hawaiin tropic bikini team. yeesh

fleshwound_NPG

oh indy has some fantastic hotties. they just leave town and become weather ladies for boston because im not bitter about that at all nope no sir

pamela-point.jpg
fleshwound_NPG

fucking miss pamela. made these super depressing slate gray and cold indiana winters bearable

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jjfozz

wow, nice rack

fleshwound_NPG

yepcomment image

Sharkbait

Tawmmy approves

fleshwound_NPG

HER FACKIN RACK IS OURAH FACKIN RACK NOW. NO ONE DENIES THIS

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Sharkbait

In a completely unrelated note, I should start watching WBTS more…

Brocky

Indiana in general sucks.

Had a friend from high school who’s sister was a colts cheerleader.

As soon as she was cut from the squad she high tailed it for Florida. No update on the meteorology career.

Had a another friend who’s sister went for the sunshine state for college, no academic reason too, just knew she could make ends bartendering cuz of her looks

rockingdog

First play for Texans is
Nico Collins TD!
That’s Rockingggggggg!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

WOOOO!! Our favourite doggie is back!

jjfozz

first drink was at noon, followed by beers all day and bourbone, fucking ready to go! also fuck the steelers alld ay long fuck them with a shit encrusted barbed wire wrapped pole

fleshwound_NPG

more offense in 6 min in this game than the entire stiller/ratbird tilt

jjfozz

what the fuck is fucking UP’1

WCS

Your BAC?

jjfozz

way up

ballsofsteelandfury

Did ya see the banner?

Mr. Ayo

Oh shit, I didn’t. lol

Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Downfield Matriculator

Department of Suddenly Necessary Analogies:

So when your team ends up in a tie, they say it’s like kissing your sister. But what is it called when you want two other teams to tie so your team can be the ugliest girl at the post-season dance?

Discuss.

WCS

2AM bar-closing drunk sex

Downfield Matriculator

In the restroom or out in the parking lot?

WCS

Somewhere that gives you an infection.

Gumbygirl

Meh, I say let one of these guys live. I’d rather see the Bill’s lose.

Doktor Zymm

Being the only non-relative at a WV family reunion?

LemonJello

An unenthusiastic handjob in the backseat at homecoming?

ballsofsteelandfury

Lesbian porn?

yeah right

Sad late night hotel wanking session that shows up on your credit card statement.

jjfozz

I think that’s “Fucking everyone in your familyk including the retarded cousing. “

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pour one out* for Lacey:

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

*we would also accept “toss a Baby Ruth into a pool.”

fleshwound_NPG

we were posting hers and other famous nipples in the stiller thread

WCS

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Gumbygirl

She wasn’t very old, what happened?

Mr. Ayo

No details released yet. But she was a nice 69.

Gumbygirl

Well, bless her for that!

Sharkbait

“I’ll be that ditch digger now judge!”
–D.Noonan

Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Tell you what, these Bachelor commercials are sure making me wanna stab the guy in the temple with a fireplace poker watch the show.

Doktor Zymm

Go East Texas United Hub!

fleshwound_NPG

tony kanaan!

fleshwound_NPG

as much as i liked watching him win the 2013 indy 500 him i liked his teammate better

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King Hippo

The Gravy Boat sure is rocking!

WCS

if this boat’s bumpin’
the gravy’s lumpin’

Gumbygirl

The Clots ain’t dry humpin’

fleshwound_NPG

fat hump minshew is ready

bafkreiajptc5zsfnbunpvgzgw33fihpkljx536r3mj3rndxcyry2vnqbse.jpg
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Winner gets a banner.

Sharkbait

Simpsons Colts did it!

fleshwound_NPG

indy getting a banner no matter what

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fleshwound_NPG

(tbf, that “finalist” banner exists solely due to the ’95 run)comment image

fleshwound_NPG

that was an oddly fun run to watch. a former bust of a bears qb leading the league in qb rating and almost leading a 9-7 team to a super bowl

SonOfSpam

My imaginary money is on the imaginary team. Go, um, I wanna say, Steers?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s a good guess based on the helmet design, but they’re actually called the “O’Keeffe’s”.

fleshwound_NPG

this was the greatest super tank bowl last year

WCS

Stillers can clinch with MOST GLORIOUS DRAW.

Is this what edging is?

Downfield Matriculator

Apparently like sex with Sting!

/don’t stand so close to me

Brick Meathook
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