Scoregasm Alert! Your Rams/Lions Wildcard Game Open Thread

Moving along. We’ve got more work to do.

To The Game!

Rams/Lions:

-Look at that gorgeous 51.5 O/U! Just as long as it’s not done by one team though. (Final Score 9-3)

-Please Stop: Much will be made of the qb matchup but these fellas have played against one another already. (But it’s the playoffs!, totally different)

-Dichotomy Time: Campbell is your typical old-timey “knock their heads off” kind of coach but he certainly has paid some attention to analytics in that he goes for it on 4th down quite often. As a matter of fact the Lions 34% led the league this year. Of course, with a defense that is so porous, he needs to give his offense more opportunities to score.

-Speaking of, success vs Nacua and Kupp is going to be a game-decider-the Lions have been penalized on passing plays 29 times this year.

-One guy that’s holding up his end is Aidan Hutchinson. I made fun of the media hyping him early in the season when he didn’t have a sack to his name but he’s come on strong, wracking up 5 in the last two games along with a fumble recovery and a 19% pass rush success rate.

-Tight End Talk: Both Higbee and LaPorta are listed as questionable. One is far more intrinsic to his team’s success and I wonder about him. With a hyper-extended knee and a bone bruise, just how much will he be able to do on the field? How well will he be able to run routes? Or is he out there to act as a decoy so that St. Brown can have more room to maneuver? We’ll see.

-I said as early as the 4th week of the season that if things fell right the Rams could be that sneaky good team that gets far because their strengths are so hard to counteract. (felt the same way about Philly for a few weeks also. Oops.) Well, Fatt, Puca, Cooper, Kyren and Aaron, time to prove me right.

Have at it.

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WCS
Mr. Ayo

Day #22

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WCS

OJ was still an actor the last time Fuck Loins won a playoff game.

King Hippo

How many cigarettes do you think he got for his SAG card?

Beerguyrob

‘night all. Have fun tomorrow. I’m teaching noon to 9:30 so I’ll miss the games.

Someone from Detroit better go put a lead plate over Bobby Layne’s grave just to make sure.

The Curse of Bobby Layne

I SHALL NOT BE DENIED!!!

Brick Meathook

I would like to once sit quietly in the back of the classroom when Beerguyrob has the floor.

Beerguyrob

“Now class, when I said, ‘FUCK YOU, BAKER MAYFIELD!’ while you were working on your conjugation worksheets, was that a command statement or an interjection? And, keep in mind that if the principal shows up I accidentally stubbed my toe.”

Brick Meathook

I’ll be whispering to the students in the back “Hey kid, have you ever of Vietnam? I’ll sell you a Marlboro Light for a dollar.”

Horatio Cornblower

Is Melissa Stark worried that she’s going to get lost in some glacier-filled area and need to be easily seen from the air?

LemonJello

Hey, this was a lot of fun. Let’s do it again tomorrow!

blaxabbath

Fuck you I’m warming up for SVU!

LemonJello

Southern Vatican University?

Horatio Cornblower

I’m going hiking. It’s how MLK would have wanted it.

jjfozz

Welp, we’re getting “snow” in Bmore on Tuesday, and this happy asshole ain’t driving to DC on Wednesday, no fucking way. I’ll be smashing down Miller Lites and hating on the Steelers tomorrow.

WCS

Would’ve thought it’d be Natty Bo, just because.

Mr. Ayo

Can’t wait to spend all day at work tomorrow streaming sports.

Doktor Zymm

That must have been very nostalgic for Fatthew, getting to lose in Detroit just like old times

fleshwound_NPG

and mccarthy seeing the cowboys lose

WCS

DET-PIT Superb Owl

hippofant

Someone go give Stafford a big giant hug.

King Hippo

which it HAS to be, given all the FAT

blaxabbath

So it’s settled.

Detriot is the greatest city in America.

Redshirt

Nicely done, Detroit. Way to break the curse.

Now do what we couldn’t do and finish the job!

Brick Meathook

Detroit actually has some pretty good junk food: pizza, chili dogs (called Coney Islands), (and I suppose spaghetti sandwiches, which I’ve never had).

Buffalo also has great junk food: forget chicken wings, get a “Beef on Weck” with extra horseradish.

Kansas City has the best BBQ

Cincinnati Chili is the best chili

Saint John’s Newfoundland has the best fish & chips

Los Angeles has the best beef dip and pastrami sandwiches

Brick Meathook

Baltimore crab cakes

Arlington VA half-smokes

Brick Meathook

Also Los Angeles street-cart Danger Dogs

jjfozz

In Baltimore, we take a steamed crab and smash it right into your face.

Brick Meathook

In Northern Virginia we wonder if Baltimore residents can afford to commute here.

ThePirateSloth

Cincinnati chili is awful as fuck. Worse than fuck. Like the most awful idea of food that exists awful.

Brick Meathook

I will take you to the Hard Times Cafe in Old Town Alexandria and I will treat, and we’ll see what your opinion is after that. This is a standing offer, no expiration.

Beerguyrob

Coneys are tasty.

Cecil Rhodes

Here’s my list of best carriageway food from around the globe:

Best Guinea pig: Lima, Viceroyalty of Peru

Best zebra sandwich: Mafikeng, Bechuanaland

Best hot dog (with real dog): Busan, Korea

Best herring sandwich: Hamburg, Imperial Germany

Best raw oats: John Elway’s press box, Mile High Stadium, Denver, Colorado Territory

LemonJello

Those aren’t fireworks, that’s “celebratory” gunfire out in the parking lots around Ford Field.

jjfozz

Congrats Lions fans! Now don’t go getting murdered on the way home.

fleshwound_NPG

last time the lions won a playoff game, we still had maps/globes in the classroom that had the soviet union on them

King Hippo

In Soviet Russia, LioUns fuck on YOU!

Beerguyrob

The history major in me appreciates this so very much.

blaxabbath

Thank goodness for letting anyone into the playoffs these days.

Doktor Zymm

They still have those in Detroit public schools

Brick Meathook

When I served in the USN we went up against the Soviets. After my service they quit being a country. Coincidence?

Doktor Zymm

RAWR goes the Lioun!

Horatio Cornblower

We all know who the Lions beat 32 years ago, right?

I’ll give you a hint: they got curb-stomped by the Packers earlier today.

Cecil Rhodes

THE EMBLEM OF THE EMPIRE WILL NOT BE DENIED TONIGHT! ALL HAIL THE FUCK LIONS!

blaxabbath

Refs gonna hit Lions with excessive celebration penalty.

Horatio Cornblower

Someone tap on Martha Ford’s iron lung and let her know what’s about to happen.

SonOfSpam

Welp, fuck all this.

Mr. Ayo

Game. Set. Blouses.

Congrats to the fuck lioUns.

jjfozz

How much do I hate Cris?
Enought htat I would take the time to sharpen a rubber spatula so I could plung it through his eye socket

LemonJello

St Brown is a grown ass man!

King Hippo

Buster’s bollocks just dropped!

LemonJello

Martha Ford is working up a scathing, taunting telegram to send to Virginia McCaskey right now.

King Hippo

How can you make a spaghetti sandwich, when spaghetti already IS a sandwich?

Doktor Zymm

It’s just sandwiches all the way down

hippofant

Next week, instead of one of these teams, we’re gonna get the Matt Patricia Eagles or the Todd Bowles Buccs next week.

Wakezilla

So how do the Lions screw this up, resulting in the Rams winning on a last second field goal?

blaxabbath

I’m looking forward to Travis Kelce’s fall from greatness.

Horatio Cornblower

The resulting album is going to be epic.

Horatio Cornblower
Doktor Zymm

Looks like we’re just about finished boarding, I ended up being on the ground for the game after all, just not in the city I expected, lol

blaxabbath

I hope you laughed out loud while typing that.

WCS

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blaxabbath

Is Jared Goff Elite?

Last edited 10 months ago by blaxabbath
hippofant

The Rams’ punter is #42???

King Hippo

Two first downs and home free. Bet they don’t even get one.

SonOfSpam

Well, I can’t complain about the non=PI call.

Because I’m paralyzed with rage over that non-PI call.

blaxabbath

Good hold/PI.

Beerguyrob

The forearm shiver at the end was pretty good too.

blaxabbath

I’ve got no volume.

I’m seeing this all with new eyes. I can’t believe people bet on this.

blaxabbath

“[Hic] That little boy they showed in the crowd sure has the blood rushing to MY [Hic] MY PENIS!”

– Attorneys Representing Dr David Chao

Last edited 10 months ago by blaxabbath
LemonJello

A Playoff Game seems like a bad time for a officiating crew to have their first game.

Fucking Amateur Hour.

WCS

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blaxabbath

“TIGER! [HIC] COME OVER HERE AND LET ME STAB YOU IN THE HEART TO FIX THAT!! [HIC]”

-Dr David Chao

Brocky

Owwwwwwuch

Fuck my knee just hurts looking at that

Wakezilla

Well, Higbee is lucky that he doesn’t have a broken leg after that hit

LemonJello

Higbee’s knee just went kablooie on that tackle.

hippofant

Can we have both of these teams advance instead of the Eagles or Buccs?

Beerguyrob

How was that not a flag?

Horatio Cornblower

Well, Tyler Higbee’s dead.

Mr. Ayo

Yikes!

blaxabbath

What was that spaghetti sandwich they showed coming out of the break?

Brick Meathook

“Mom’s Spaghetti” is a restaurant in Detroit apparently owned by Eminem.

Horatio Cornblower

it’s supposed to be pretty good, all visual evidence to the contrary.

jjfozz

Pure blasphemy. that’s what that garbage was.

blaxabbath

Yes yes i know but can i try it so i understand what you hate?

WCS

C’mon, Fuck Loins…

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Beerguyrob

Well, family dinner is over. This game looks poorly for the Lions right now.

jjfozz

Watching “Italian” food made like this makes my heart hurt.

King Hippo

I use sodium and cholestoral for that!

TheRevanchist

Mom’s Spaghetti!