Your Chiefs/Ravens Open Thread

Let’s do this!

Chiefs/Ravens:

-Difference-Maker?: MVS maybe? The Baltimore D can’t be had in too many places but pass plays outside the numbers is a bit of a weakness and for K.C. this is a strength-they averaged 7.4 yards per completion and connected at a 69.3% rate.

-Scrambled or Over-Easy?: Lamar! prefers scrambled, as he ran for 489 yards on non-designed runs. Given that the Chiefs blitzed the 4th-most times Jackson needs to get chunk plays with his legs when the pocket collapses.

-Scoring defense-wise these are the two best teams in the NFL-the Ravens allow only 16.5 points per game and the Chiefs are at 17.3. That said, I’d take the over of 44 given the talent of the opposing qb’s. When they’ve played each other the lowest total was 51.

-Baltimore is 10-3 ATS in their last 13 games.

-Bad News For Spags: Since he took over as Chiefs DC in 2019 his defenses have allowed the most qb rushing TD’s.

-Kelce needs 6 catches to tie Jerry Rice for the most in the playoffs.

-As everyone expected, Kadarius Toney is a no-show for the game. Whatever, it’s only a conference championship. I feel sorry for his new baby girl, knowing how often he’s going to drop her.

-Taylor Swift is 8-3 when attending games.

-Injuries: Joe Thuney is out, Marlon Humphrey, Mark Andrews and Pacheco are in.

-Pacheco is key in that when K.C’s rushing number passes the 100 yard threshold they are 7-2. When they fail to reach it they fall to 6-4. As individual players go, the Ravens have only allowed 100+ yards to Zach Moss and Jerome Ford.

Enjoy the tilt.

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fleshwound_NPG

clowney doing his best 1985 wilber marshall impersonation

Brocky

I only know who Joe Ferguson is because of Ditka describing that play

Brocky

What a clown…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The good news is there is DirecTV on this flight.

But of course, the safety announcements/welcome video is loading now right at this critical juncture in the game.

Bah.

LemonJello

Just avoid shouting out “What a bomb!” or you’ll get to meet the Air Marshal.

Horatio Cornblower

“Look at how long this is, Jim”

Careful, Tony: that kind of behavior is what got Jeffrey Toobin booted off TV.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh another Raven slicing something up he shouldn’t have?

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure there’s enough context here for the banner, but I’m going to suggest it anyway.

SonOfSpam

Zay adding to his boneheadedness doing the equivalent of punching the dugout wall

Brocky

In five plays from scrimmage, flowers made 3 catches and 2 mistakes

Horatio Cornblower

Per Boston College math that’s a net of 8.

fleshwound_NPG

baltimore are the best when theyre the underdog running through the playoffs wrecking the bracket

(see: 2000, 2012)

theyre horrible as a frontrunner

(see: 2006, 2019, now)

Senor Weaselo

It’s the ol’ Gonzaga maneuver!
/Fuck Gonzaga

litre_cola

All our cable tv up here is from Spokane. It is nauseoUs.

Horatio Cornblower

UConn did last March.

litre_cola

Karma is a bitch.

TheRevanchist

They just need to shake it off

Brocky

I would make a joke about how the ravens need to take put mahomes, but we know what they’ll say…

Gumbygirl

I do love to see an unhappy Harbs!

WCS

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TheRevanchist

Flowers is both good and a complete fuck up.

Horatio Cornblower

Cutting your hand on the bench is just the *chef’s kiss*

SonOfSpam
King Hippo

Same dumb shit KC did inside the 1 last week, Jeebus.

Senor Weaselo

Die by the touchback fumble, live by the touchback fumble.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a fumble, and that’ll be it for the Ravens.

litre_cola

Oh she is loose. That is a touchback.

fleshwound_NPG

bye ratbirds

Petronel

This game is delivering in so many ways.

WCS

Hahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahaa

Doktor Zymm

Taunting is some BS.

And like Petronel said, that ref needs a honey ricola or sommat

LemonJello

Trying to cripple another player: within the rules, saying mean things: penalty.

Horatio Cornblower

Zay Flowers putting that Boston College “education” on full display for the world to see.

Last edited 9 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Brocky

… you were saying

Horatio Cornblower

I give him credit for the effort on the dive, I guess.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Guess Zay had some flowery language, amirite?

/shows self out

SonOfSpam

Just terrible, well done

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure who Clayton Patterson is, but this is an amazing shot he got of Baltimore’s offense today:

https://twitter.com/NewYorker/status/1751730963170607521

WCS

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Last edited 9 months ago by WCS
Horatio Cornblower

Aww, yeah, here’s Terrell Suggs to fire up the crowd, presumably this time not by threatening to drown them with bleach if they behave the way he wants them to.

Last edited 9 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
ballsofsteelandfury

If they score on this possession, absolutely true.

Doktor Zymm

Ok Ballsitchmore, good start. Don’t fuck it up and give up a 40 yard play now.

fleshwound_NPG

after 2012 we are only allowed one (1) good harbaugh at a time

King Hippo

This would be a fine and effective gameplan if the motherfuckers weren’t already down 10 points with basically one quarter to play..

Doktor Zymm

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Defense needs to score, apparently

Petronel

Damn, give that poor ref some hot tea or sumpin’

Horatio Cornblower

“A Purple Plunge” is both a fundraiser for Baltimore’s National Aquarium and what it’s called when Ray Lewis stabs you in the chest.

fleshwound_NPG

or whats gonna happen to little kelce with taytay if they win tonight

LemonJello

Fun Fact: A Purple Plunger was the code word called into stadium janitorial services when Tony Siragusa backed up a toilet in the locker room.

Doktor Zymm

7 nation army and that racist tomahawk chant sound kinda similar, are they in the same key? Seems like similar tempo and rhythm

Brocky

Hmmmm,

Who’s the last afc champion who had to win at least two road game?

King Hippo

I know the Donks (WOO!!) did so at least once.

litre_cola

Baltimore I want to say

Brick Meathook

I just got off the phone with my 90 year old mother, who dislikes and doesn’t watch football, yet she knew that Travis Kelce was dating Taylor Swift.

BeefReeferLives

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fleshwound_NPG

too easy

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BeefReeferLives

Oh, well played, sir!

/golf clap

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Got an email today from a friend about his son’s travel baseball doing a fundraiser. How are they raising funds you (didn’t but maybe could) ask? Selling Super Bowl squares.

I can’t decide whether this is a proud moment or a shameful one.

LemonJello

What’s the prize if you win? Or is the prize the friends you make along the way?

Sharkbait
Doktor Zymm

*Gamblor gloats quietly to himself while sipping Courvoisier & Curlier Vintage Grande Champagne out of an original Van Gough rolled into a cup*

Horatio Cornblower

Wow, you’re friends with Alyssa Milano!?

Horatio Cornblower

https://twitter.com/codyboteler/status/1751687931259986172

Man, Baltimore changes a person quick!

Doktor Zymm

If that guy starts doing appearances as a Tay-Tay lookalike and has great success I will regain some faith in humanity

BrettFavresColonoscopy

She’s doing a collab with Dean Pees?!

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vgr2SZldILo

One of the most brilliant things of the 2000s.

Horatio Cornblower

How much botox has Romo shot into his forehead? Some of it or all of it?

Doktor Zymm

I just assumed that JJ got him a facelift as a treatment for broken ribs back when he was playing

Doktor Zymm

I assume it’s because Ray Lewis went all Jesusy

Brocky

It’s pretty simple, and I get it’s a joke, but, I feel the need to answer anyways

1. Ed Reed wasn’t drafted till after the ravens first superbowl, and he hates the media

2. The ray lewis case is an open and shut case of self defense

WCS

The two of you just stay out of each other’s way, I take it?

Horatio Cornblower

Gentlemen’s agreement.

Senor Weaselo

Ontario and Maryland have some distance between them, so no disputes.

Probably.

LemonJello

Light up the Tomsula Signal!

Gumbygirl
litre_cola

Let us know when he hits Northern Ontario.

WCS

You’ll be happy to know in lieu of eating responsibly, SHAME PIZZA order has been placed.

Doktor Zymm

Good on ya!

litre_cola

Reheating last night’s shame pizza as we speak!

Doktor Zymm

I got shame pizza from last week I had in the freezer!

King Hippo

At 4 seconds, why not TRY to run the kick back? Fuckshit to lose.

Doktor Zymm

I guess they could fumble and KC could run it in, but if they’re gonna play that fucking risk averse they don’t deserve to be here. I hope they aren’t gonna anal pucker the entire rest of the game

TheRevanchist

“What’s an anal pucker?” – Goatse

Horatio Cornblower

Baltimore should be encouraged by this. They can’t play much worse and they’re only down 10.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

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Doktor Zymm

“I wasn’t holding, he just looked like he needed a hug!”

Doktor Zymm

There are two collective nouns for ravens, an Unkindness and a Conspiracy

King Hippo

I like Unkindness even better!

Redshirt

Oh, that flag hurts.

fleshwound_NPG

nobody wants to win this now

Brocky

Make up call is.. okay?

King Hippo

Two silver linigs:

1) The sound is now off and staying that way
2) At least I can go get Zaxby’s ahead of the FUCK LIONS match

Gumbygirl

I got a raw chicken sandwich from Zaxby’s once. Never went back.

LemonJello

I find Romo easier to ignore/block out than Collinsworth. Weird.

King Hippo

I get that, but the complicating factor is I actually WANT to hear Tirico’s call (I think he’s really good, and properly lets the game “breathe”).

I don’t like Nantz any more than I like Romo. He was only good as a complement to Billy Packer (who I will go to my grave defending).

Horatio Cornblower

Billy Packer was an ACC-apologist who long outlived his relevance.

King Hippo

He loved the ACC, but hated each and every team (including his alma mater, Wake Forest)

Gumbygirl

It may just be that we’ve had to put up with Collinsworth much longer. So. Much. Longer.

LemonJello

This Kelce fellpw may have a shot at a career in this game, no?

Redshirt

BLEERGH screwing over a team is more fun when it’s not your team getting screwed.