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Your Lions/Niners Open Thread

scotchnaut

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Let’s get at it again!

Lions/Niners:

-Injury Report: Detroit’s Hendon Hooker is listed as questionable (tooth). I did not make that up.

-Keenan 175/2, Nacua 181/1, Doubs 95, Thielen 107/1, Moore 96/1, Watson 94/1, Olave 119, Jefferson 141/1, Lamb 227/2 and Jefferson again 192/1. If you’re a #1 wr you just love playing against the Lions pass D. Will one of (or both?) Aiyuk and hobbled Deebo have a game? The Magic 8 Ball says, “Are you kidding me?”

-As you suspected, Detroit has the very worst pass defense left in the playoffs. How did they get this far then? Well, they have a habit of matching or exceeding their opponents splash plays. As a team they finished with the 2nd-most explosive plays (gains of 20+ yards) with (ugh!) 69.

-Speaking of explosive, Gibbs should have himself a game, not so much Montgomery. The reasoning behind this is that the Niners surrender 5.4 ypc on runs outside the tackles. Since week 15 they are 25th in total yards allowed and 28th in yards per carry allowed.

-San Fran is in it’s 19th Conference Championship game-that’s the most of any team.

-Stepping Up: DE Aidan Hutchinson has more than doubled his pass rush win rate in the playoffs.

-The perception is that being a 7th rounder Purdy is a dink and dunker that doesn’t take chances but guess who led all his peers in air yards per attempt?

-So I came across a site (Sumer Sports) that attempts to quantify how good a coach is at in-game decision-making. They call it Win Probability Added Over Expected which is a mouthful. Of the remaining Leaders Of Men left in the playoffs, Campbell is the best and it’s not even close. (I’ll link in the comments) Not bad for a knee-biting son of a bitch. Btw, on this list Shanny Jr. is a bottom.

It’s yours to do with as you wish.

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Doktor Zymm

This might have been taunting, but Janay apologized for the role she played in the incident so we’ll let it slide
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ballsofsteelandfury

600!

3
Col. Duke LaCross

That be some good hustle!

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Doktor Zymm

No taunting here! (I actually kinda love Kittle’s responses)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkiNnyzV5vY

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Doktor Zymm

Apologies for the ads in the middle…it’s the NFL after all

1
herodotus450

Be me:
Brush teeth.
Eat nothing.
Go to bed.
Wake up.
Brush teeth again.
Why tho?

2
WCS

Anorexia doesn’t mean tooth decay!

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Doktor Zymm

The bacteria in your gums NEVER sleep

5
SonOfSpam

Looks like the opening line is SF -1.5

Need to spend some time doing anal
ysis to figure out which way to go.

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Doktor Zymm

I like that line because it means a 2-0 victory would cover

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Doktor Zymm

The more I think about it, the weirder the taunting penalty is. It’s obviously a throwback rule, to when there was some idiotic ideal of ‘sportsmanship’ and even ‘amateurism’ just like the excessive celebration penalty that they finally got rid of.

It’s pretty inconsistent with the way the game is played today, where there are no penalties for taunting the crowd, or even shit talking to the extent the other dude hits you. In fact, you’re actually rewarded for taunting a dude to the point that he physically retaliates as long as you don’t do it just after you do something good.

So being a sore loser is totally ok, saying horrible things about someone’s momma before and during a play (and after if you didn’t have the ball at the end of the play) is super cool, and gloating like a jackass is also fine as long as you turn away from the dude you just beat. But not turning away? EXACTLY THE SAME AS SPEARING A DEFENCELESS RECEIVER.

3
Redshirt

I think it was too many little things that added up. He spun the ball, he did it to an opponent’s face, the defender was on the ground. At some point, the flag has to be thrown. Its not like baseball where the umpire can get into the player’s face and tell him to stop or be thrown out. The only option the ref has is to throw the flag.

You want to avoid the players starting to lose focus. The game is already violent as it is. The last thing you need is to get them pissed off at each other.

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Doktor Zymm

I’m not disputing that it was taunting, I just think that taunting is a BS paternalistic penalty. If you’re trying to ‘keep it civil’ or whatever, then ban shit talking, make an effort to penalize the instigator instead of the retaliator in conflicts, re-ban celebrations, etc.

3
Redshirt

I think the current rule is appropriate. Keep it short and not directed at an opponent. The second you turn toward someone or the play clock for the next play is halfway done, get your money’s worth because it just cost your team 15 yards.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

And if you think about it, taunting is a sandwich.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We should retire that debate and start a new one about when a soup becomes a stew.

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Doktor Zymm

All stews are soups but nawt all soups are stews

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Doktor Zymm

I’ll always think it’s bizarre that a non-contact penalty is 15 yards while it’s totally okay to be a complete asshole in so many other ways, and a lower penalty (if it’s even called, because they might be ‘letting them play’) for things that can cause direct physical harm, but I’ll agree to disagree right now, and then sucker punch you when the ref isn’t looking in 5 minutes.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’m with Zymm here. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

It should not be a penalty.

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herodotus450

Building your strength, honing your skills, suppressing your instincts to protect your own body from physical harm in order to launch yourself at superhuman momenta in order to literally crush your opponent, potentially dealing irreparable harm to his physical and mental well-being and dooming him to a future life of never ending pain: that’s good.

Saying “You like that?” to his face afterwards?: that’s bad.

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TheRevanchist

When I saw him throw the ball down at him and scream, I jumped up and screamed joy, because that shit was going to set them back 15. I knew it right off the bat. That wasn’t celebrating. That wasn’t even healthy shit talking. That was pure penalty. And then the refs confirmed it with a flag. Good call by the zebras.

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TheRevanchist

I’m talking about the KC game, of course. I slept through most of the 9ers game

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Doktor Zymm

I mean, it is true that anything a team you support does is ‘healthy shit talking’ and anything a team you don’t support does is ‘taunting’, that’s just common sense.

You mad, bro? (Not taunting because it was after the game, said to Tom Brady, and just kinda awesome)
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Redshirt

So is the Super Bowl mandatory viewing? If so, can you accept a doctor’s note written in my handwriting?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only Super Bowl I’ve watched in the last four years (I think) has been Bengals-Rams. I guess I might have watched the TB-Chiefs one.

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Doktor Zymm

Nah, the Owl is the least mandatory of all the games of the year

3
Horatio Cornblower

Pro-Bowl.

1
Beerguyrob

This guy’s got your back.

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Doktor Zymm

I just had a horrifying thought. If, as the SB matchup suggests, we are actually in the MOST BORING timeline, what are all the other timelines like?!

2
Redshirt

Interesting question. While I would love to play Butterfly Effect, eventually we’ll come across a timeline worse than this one, and I don’t think my brain can handle that.

0
WCS

One of those had Dallas-New England every season for a decade.

2
Redshirt

One has Donald Trump as an NFL Owner. Its probably the Baltimore Bengals one.

3
WCS

If he had the Bills, he wouldn’t have run for President.

1
Redshirt

…but then we’d have President Ted Cruz. I mean Trump was bad and all but if you’re options is to drive the car into a ditch or wrap it around a tree, sometimes the ditch is the only option.

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Doktor Zymm

I suddenly have an all new appreciation for this timeline

4
Redshirt

Timeline Z1Γ41(Banana)A4: It could be worse!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Some kid (I hope, it’s possible it was an adult) was screaming about how much they hate the 49ers (this was when they tied things up) and it really put things into perspective. Man oh man and I glad that I am dead inside and no longer feel joy or anguish.

4
NotShogunButShogun

Where’s this abomination being played? Who recently cheated taxpayers?

3
NotShogunButShogun

Oh christ…vegas. And USHER was the best you had?! Sweet fancy fuckall

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve never really given a shit about the 49ers, but a lot of Raiders fans *hate* that team. And it’s against the Chiefs? I don’t think there’s a worse possible matchup for hardcore Raiders fans. Someone will probably try to dynamite the stadium the night before the game.

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Doktor Zymm

So you’re saying I SHOULD try to watch, just in case?

1
NotShogunButShogun

This is my own thread now. But:
NFL
You’ve gotten what you want internally.
Your stage becomes global for what seems to be the biggest night ever.
You’re trying to be global. Especially in already setup places…like Germany?
As a gateway…in the BIGGEST possible way, in the best open venue…mayhaps…rammstein?
GIVE ME FIRE!

1
Doktor Zymm

Actually Buffalo was the most recent and one of the largest ever taxpayer screwjobs, but their new stadium won’t be Super Bowl eligible

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Doktor Zymm

Motion to change the name of the penalty from “Taunting” to “Being a Big Meanie Pants”

3
Beerguyrob

Former Seahawks Luke Willson is losing his mind on TSN criticizing the Lions play calling at the end of the game. He said he knows what terrible goal line plays look like since he’s seen one up close.

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NotShogunButShogun

Like when girders melt?

2
Beerguyrob

His girder is clearly melting.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

grumble grumble one look from me and your mom melts her girdle grumble grumble

2
Senor Weaselo

This game went from The Marshall Mathers LP to The Marshall Mathers L in the second half, unfortunately.

/Please don’t hurt us, Em

7
fleshwound_NPG

baltimore and detroit today are an example of why modern football really is far more inferior to the football we grew up with:

few teams win, MANY teams lose anymore

1
Doktor Zymm

One last 1957 fact, that was when Sputnik was launched and it was rather endearingly referred to by a lot of news sources as a Moon

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Doktor Zymm

Welp, that was nawt the correct image, although Juke Box race books in Philly are fun too!

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Senor Weaselo

That’s no moon, it’s a space station.

But it also led to an opera that I played, The Man in the Man-Made Moon. Where if you took a drink every time you heard man, made, or moon, you’d be dead about 10 minutes in.

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Doktor Zymm

Like the Guitar Wolf drinking game!

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Beerguyrob

What I just texted to my Niners buddy.

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TheRevanchist

Some jackass neighbor is setting off fireworks. In the name of my dog, I will murder.

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Beerguyrob

I stand corrected – I AM somebody’s alibi.

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NotShogunButShogun

Seconded. Complete writeup and interview ready. Fuck fireworks.

4
Brocky

Reminds me of a meme of scumbag steve I saw:

Lights off fireworks when the patriots won the superbowl….

…. lives in ohio

2
hippofant

I’ll say wut, this game was much more entertaining than Ravens Chiefs.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Absolutely!

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Doktor Zymm

Could have been worse, I learned a lot of fun facts about 1957 and I’m all for Trent Williams getting a shot at a Super Bowl after the Snyder Upstairs Medical School let his cancer go undiagnosed

9
Petronel

That was a helluva game, after another helluva game. Thanks, Lions. (Seriously.)

I’ll keep it short and sweet…

WOOOOOO! WE’RE GOING TO THE FUCKING SUPER BOWL!

10
LemonJello

Just the Owl left and then the grim dark future beckons to us…

0
Gatoraids

Biggest blown lead by lions since Scar in the Lion King

12
NotShogunButShogun

Not his fault. Fricking hyenas all doped up

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Brock Purdy deserves this, but they are gonna try REAL hard to turn him into Brady 2.0.

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Doktor Zymm

As recently as a week ago I was hearing rumors that the Niners might pick up Kirk Cousins and have Purdy play backup so hopefully this’ll shut that shit up

2
Downfield Matriculator

Your Bay Area fanbois must be even weirder than mine — that is crazy talk

6
Beerguyrob

Well, at least we’ve been spared the Taylor – Eminem discourse that surely would have dominated the next two weeks.

3
Gatoraids

but well miss
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just keep Jackson/Jaxson Mahomes off my screen(s) the next two weeks and I’ll keep the complaints to a dull roar.

3
hippofant

If I’m marketing at the NFL, I’m really mad at the missed crossover opportunity.

0
Doktor Zymm

Oh good point, I didn’t even consider that potential grossness. And now I realize I have no idea who is playing halftime, but I don’t actually care so I’m gonna go get some mezze out of the fridge instead of looking it up

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Usher

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NotShogunButShogun

Because nothing says Now like someone who was relevant 25 years ago.

1
Senor Weaselo

We could have lost ourselves in the music, the moment!

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NotShogunButShogun

The NFL and music is like…well that’s a whole thread.

1
Doktor Zymm

I suspect I will NAWT make the effort to watch Chiefs/Niners while I’m in New Zealand. Although 100% GO NINERS

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Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, I’ve about had it with Mahomes.

5
Brocky

Now that we can safely say the Detroit Lions experiment is over. I can say this…

Fuck Detroit.

Fuck lions fans for shit talking the bears when you went 0-16.

Fuck red wing fans for trying to find excuses to why the Blackhawk Stanley cups don’t count.

Fuck pistons fans for saying everything the bulls ever won was only because the league “changed the rules for Michael Jordan”

Fuck tigers fans. In general. You haven’t been to the playoffs in a decade, and both the cubs AND the white Sox are more culturally relevant and have won more titles than you.

You are not the loveable underdogs. You are packers fans wearing a different jersey

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean, this is a little much for my taste, but as a lead-in to hate week…. fucking love it.

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m sensing Brocky is a Chicago man.

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Col. Duke LaCross

That is quality hate!

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NotShogunButShogun

Dude! I mean I get it, I feel it. I know your pain.
But Sir,
Everyone owns our jerseys. They’ve been given away since the late 90’s. And then they watch cowboy games. So you see the problem.
~neighbors from your northern suburb

1
Doktor Zymm

But hey, the Red Wings are still the answer to 82% of all hockey-related pub trivia questions, so they still got that!

1
Beerguyrob

Thanks for the intro.

2
NotShogunButShogun

Oh ENOUGH of the Struggle narrative. Other than 99.9% of the residents, who in SF has struggled?

3
fleshwound_NPG

….and my 3 year old just blew chunks EVERYWHERE

still not as bad as what dan campbell just did in the 2nd half

9
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Much like the automakers in the 2000, Detroit needs a bailout here

6
King Hippo

At least this was a good game. Congrats, Nel and Tomsulas.

3
Petronel

HIIIIIII

8
Gumbygirl

Go you! I’ll rooty toot for them in the Owl!

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did anyone get Nel a bandana (to wrap around or stuff in, I suppose)?

3
Petronel

(Sorry if unclear – that was re: Kittle and friend waving at the camera like five year olds.)

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