Instant Hippo Micro-Thoughts (Championship Sunday, 2023 Season)

Well, merde.  The Narrative Owl it is, and one has to root for the Tomsulas.

Speaking of, at least they weren’t GIVEN anything – they just fucking took that game away.  Doing what good teams do, finding an extra reserve of will and urgency, to dig out of a 24-7 halftime hole.  Drops absolutely killed Detroit, it wasn’t the decisions to go for it on 4th.  Heck, the one Campbell probably wants back is the one at the end of the first half.  But really – all three were VERY difficult/close choices.  You pay your money, take your chance, and live with the results.

But Baby Shanny carries the hopes of the nation, as Balmer completely reverted to “Stereotypical Ratbirds in January” form.  Absent one drive (where Lamar! made a video game play for a TD strike to Zay Flowers), Steve Spagnulo put their balls in a vice and squeezed until they sploded.  Mahomes dink and dunked them to death for 17 first half points, almost exclusively thanks to Kelce.  Then the offense took the rest of the day off, because 17 points would be enough.  BAL won the 2nd half 3-nil, and lose 17-10.  But they were well-beaten.

Anyway, huge deflation of the balloon, but I guess I will still watch.  At least I have an 8:00a dentist appointment to look forward to today (Monday).

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I bet her arm was pretty tired by the time guy #5 achieved satisfaction.

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Last edited 9 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
WCS

She’s got a future in Houston politics.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or working for the Patriots.

Doktor Zymm

While I don’t mind watching her go down (phrasing!) I’m still pissed off that it’s slut shaming that did it instead of any of the actually good reasons she shouldn’t be in politics

Horatio Cornblower

At this point I’m beyond caring what drives these assholes back into their holes. I am very much against slut shaming, but if it gets rid of Lauren Boebert and her ilk I’ll burn “WHORE” in block letters right across her front lawn.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s not really that, though. She came within an eyelash of losing to a Democrat in her home district and very likely would have lost the upcoming rematch. The slut-shaming stuff is just gravy, and seems to have far less to do with sluttiness than classlessness.

SonOfSpam

(Indiana folks start slut-shaming)

ballsofsteelandfury

From ESPN:

“Why do people in analytics say momentum isn’t real?” Kittle asked the assembled media in his postgame news conference. “That’s the biggest load of horse crap I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Sharkbait

Get out of here with your facts and logic! This is the internet!

SonOfSpam

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ballsofsteelandfury

The writer is wrong. Rich Eisen agrees with me

https://youtu.be/KHm1zDXj2ks?si=wmyOPx-gRP-Q0OIt

Last edited 9 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Doktor Zymm

This.

Also, humans suck at probability, we can only really understand never and always, and mayyyyybe 50/50 on a good day. If you are acting the same way 100% of the time when the probabilities are not 100% or near it then you are being an idiot, although a very understandable and human idiot.

Good poker players don’t play the same hand the same way every time, and good coaches shouldn’t react the same way to similar yardage/score/time situations every time. Campbell has historically been pretty good at playing aggressively with input from the analytics and team context, so I trust that he considered all the factors people have mentioned when making his decisions and it’s worked well enough to get the Lions here in the first place. He has far more information and context than we do, or even than any journalists or industry people do, so I’m gonna trust him here

Horatio Cornblower

You know you can just link to the article, right?

Also Campbell’s decision in the 4th quarter was wrong. I don’t want to hear about analytics, I don’t want to hear about Dan’s aggressive nature, and I don’t want to hear any arguments that make mine look bad. I just want to reiterate that the Lions were down by 3, with 5+ minutes to go, were in FG range, and all of this in a game to decide who would be going to the Superb Owl.

The Lions employ a kicker, presumably for just such an occasion. If I recall it was 4th and a long 3 at that time. Goff was throwing wounded ducks and frequently behind his receivers, and when he was hitting his receivers they were trying to catch the ball while seeming to wear scuba fins on their webbed hands. And they ran it anyway, which was just…what the fuck?

Yes, there is no guarantee that the FG would have been good, but there was also no guarantee that they’d convert 4th down, and as noted above several pretty good reasons based on very recent events to suggest it was less than certain.

I like Campbell, but he was wrong on this one.

ballsofsteelandfury

Completely agree. Maybe it was a good process but it was still a bad decision.

TheRevanchist

So, we are all rooting for KC. Good to know.

Game Time Decision

rooting for a good game

Sharkbait

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ballsofsteelandfury

I actually am.

I’m sorry.

TheRevanchist

Fucking hell. 3-1 before the half and Wrexham will have a major uphill

ballsofsteelandfury

They’re toast.

Fronkenshteen

FA Cup hijinx for this afternoon: Wrexham at Blackburn Rovers on the ESPN+ at 2:30. Sports Mole says 3-1 Blackburn. What says hippo?

Fronkenshteen

Did it (extremely modestly), with Soopa-Paul to score a brace. YEEEE-HAAAAWWWW!!!!!

[drives Camaro at top speed through front window of Sports Book in reverse]

BeefReeferLives

Taken outside of tRump Tower this weekend, apparently. Apologies if a repoast.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No apology necessary, it’s still funny. Looking forward to seeing what the tally is for the fraud trial, the verdict should be out soon.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m going to guess between 200-210, most if not all of that for Donald himself, much less if anything for his failsons.

SonOfSpam

I’m hoping for closer to 300, but that’s mostly to increase the rage-related heart attack chances.

Fronkenshteen

In my early twenties, I got a job as a “liftie” on a small ski mountain at a mountain resort here in VA. One of the stations was the mid-point for the lift to the top of the mountain. Very few people other than ski patrol ever opted to get off the lift there, so mostly, I’d just sit in a tiny booth, read, hit the bowl in the gaps, awkwardly avoid eye-contact and occasionally throw a little snow on the wooden ramp if it started looking patchy. All I had for warmth was one of those tiny electric, ceramic heat-bomb things. The shack was so small and the heater was so ridiculously powerful that it would go from freezing to unbearable in eleven seconds. The shacks must have been twenty years old at the time, and pretty dilapidated to begin with, so the sudden explosion of heat would cause a biblical plague of goddamn ladybugs to come down all over and around my stoned bug-hating ass. Now there’s skiers riding up this lift going past the mid-station and the guy in the booth is waving a book around in the air and yelling at nobody and why are there bugs flying out of the booth when its January? and holy shit he just knocked his fucking sunglasses off his face! Anyway, I had a story about ladybugs, and that was it. Scene.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Fronkenshteen

Yeah, exactly. No point whatsoever. 🤓

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As far as I’m concerned it’s already the offseason.

Gumbygirl

Those are the best ones. I just went down a rabbithole looking for a tapestry in the Vatican Museum that Gumby and I liked because there was a cat that looked like our late boy B-2. Millions of pieces of art there, and that’s what we remember!

Gumbygirl

This is it- Supper at Emmaus

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BeefReeferLives

RELEASE THE LADYBUGS!!

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Gumbygirl

Lindsey Graham is all aflutter!

Doktor Zymm

I think this was actually the most boring possible finish out of the entire group of teams going into the playoff, not just the group making it to this weekend.
Even other historically successful teams like the Packers and Steelers were fun to watch with substatially different teams than those that won in the past. Dynasties are so blah for the neutral.

Doktor Zymm

TayTay is about the only new person and she’s not exactly a stranger to the spotlight. Too bad she didn’t find a guy to date on a less irritating team

Last edited 9 months ago by Doktor Zymm
Fronkenshteen

You’re so right. Detroit would have had a galaxy of political, musical, historical, and cultural icons from both sides of the aisle to draw from and put on Vegas stages all up and down the strip. And I was really hoping Buffalo was going to find a way this year, because they’d be a fun crew to turn loose in Las Vegas. I already don’t remember who won this one.

BugEyedBoo

My wife said, “If the Niners win, we’re going out to eat on Super Bowl Sunday. I’m not watching this boring shit.” I think she’s mostly joking. Me, I’ll watch but I don’t really care who wins.

Redshirt

Yeah, this is gonna be one of those Super Bowls.

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Sharkbait

Watching for GAMBLOR’s sake and as an excuse to get together with friends.

SonOfSpam

Always the correct answer

Gumbygirl

I’m only in it for the snacks.

Fronkenshteen

Campbell owes the fans of that team an apology. That was reckless, stupid coaching and that franchise may never recover from that loss. Most of those players have an average of no more than 5 or 6 years to play in the NFL if I’m not mistaken, and there is an EXCELLENT chance they will never be in that position ever again. That fucking meathead can still coach twenty more years chasing fourth downs and coaching every fucking game like it’s week 6. Jesus Christ, I’m the furthest thing from a Lions fan and even I woke up pissed off at Dan Campbell today. Fucking moron.

ballsofsteelandfury

Exactly.

Fronkenshteen

At some point going for all those fourth downs is sending a passive aggressive message to the defense that you don’t trust them to stop anyone. And the cameraman (FOX NFL camera crew should win the Emmy for their playoff work) got an EXCELLENT shot of Badgely looking rightfully disgusted on the sideline. He’s not winning everyone in the locker room over with this swashbuckling horseshit. Just a hunch.

ballsofsteelandfury

Maybe some franchises are just cursed and will never win a championship. Sorry Buffalo, Detroit, Cleveland, and Minnesota.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[thank their lucky stars for having gotten their Super Bowls out of the way nice and early] – Raiders, Jets, Bears

blaxabbath

[presses penis into bathroom stall void]

-Cardinals

ballsofsteelandfury

Hippo, you know I love you, but the Niners absolutely were given that game by the Lions.

The issues with the decisions to go for it instead of taking the points are two-fold:

1) Momentum is a real thing in sports and specially in big games. Any little thing that is considered a positive will give a team belief and that will change outcomes. To give an example, if Detroit takes three points after SF scored their FG to make it 24-10, it’s back to a three score margin and SF feels like they’re treading water and not making up ground. They get further discouraged. Instead, they get a big stop and that propelled them forward.

2) The Maths are different because the punishment for not getting the first down is greatly increased in big games. Your Expected Value calculation must be different to account for what I said in point one. It is more risky to go for it instead of taking the points.

ballsofsteelandfury

These were not long field goals plus the weather was not that bad. If you tell me that Detroit’s kicker was bad, then I’ll admit that the odds of making the FG are not that great. However, from that distance in those conditions, it was almost a sure thing.

Also, normal games are a completely different thing from championship games. Everything is magnified.

ballsofsteelandfury

Dude, I’ve played in championship games. The pressure on players is amped up. Mistakes become bigger. Emotions run higher. Consequences are larger.

It’s not just media and fans.

ballsofsteelandfury

My point is not that the maths change as far as percentages. It’s that you have to do an expected value analysis and given the larger negative consequences of not converting, the expected value tips over to the FG option.

Doktor Zymm

On the emotions running higher, that argument can go both ways. Campbell took those risks all season while telling the team that he believed in them, thought they could make those plays and that tipped the probability. If he changes course and pulls his offense off the field now he’s saying he DOESN’T believe in them when it really counts. That seems like it would be insanely demoralizing.

ballsofsteelandfury

But he did that at the end of the first half and there were no problems. Sometimes you’ve got to protect players from themselves. Did you notice that once there was one drop there were several?

That was doubt creeping in. It invaded the entire team and that made it more difficult for them to perform.

Doktor Zymm

I’m guessing the end of half calculations are a bit different with only 10 seconds left on the clock and a big lead, and the players know that.

None of us have full context, but going by what I’ve seen and heard over the past year I think the decisions were reasonable.

Sharkbait

Booze?

Gumbygirl

Weed. The answer is weed. What was the question again?

Don T

NFL ends, fútbol begins. That’s how I keep my sanity.
Plus nic gum 52.1 weeks a year. Aaaah, nic gum 🥰

ballsofsteelandfury

Fútbol is eternal.

Don T

Of course! I’ll watch it year-round after the second stroke, by which time I trust to have worked enough to pay for hospice AND bribing orderlies for drugs.

BugEyedBoo

I should make myself watch fútbol until I like it, because it never goes away.

Doktor Zymm

I’m going to start watching US Major League Rugby, if it’s actually televised that is

Sharkbait

As much as I would have preferred the Lions, I’m ok with the 49ers knocking off KC

Sharkbait

I think that was the line as of last night

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A quick googling has it the other way; opened at 49ers as 2.5 point favorites.

2Pack

Yeah I went oh fer two on last night. Chit. Not really caring who wins at this point. Just wanna rest my weary head in JLH’s boobs.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Is that from The Client List? Great show.” – Bobby K., Foxboro MA

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ratbirds got out played and out coached, which is impressive in a way.

Also, has anyone made a “No Way, Ho Zay” shirt yet?

Last edited 9 months ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Redshirt

Hippo’s Dentist Appointment (Artistic Interpretation)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOtMizMQ6oM