Your Superb Owl Open Thread

Welp, it’s finally here. As with most of the folks here, I could do without all the silly stories surrounding the game designed to draw in the casual fan. (although one story about a story-it was to be expected-that MAGAT’s were all up in arms about Swift/Kelce being some sort of psy-op that will bring more votes to Biden-that’s a keeper) I can’t stress it enough, when you’ve had your fill, run to the mute button. There’s simply too much air to fill.

To The Game!

Chiefs/Niners:

-Did I get the ‘home’ team right? (Narrator Voice: Nobody cared)

-Knock Me Over With a Dropped Pass: If reports are correct, Kadarius Toney will be starring in the role of “Player Nobody Gives a Shit About” and will not be bringing his unique brand of hapless football to the game today. Maybe it was the pass deflections that turned into interceptions, maybe it was lining up offside at a critical moment. Really, it could be anything. I’ll wager a hot fiver that his ten cent brain will be somewhere else next year.

-Don’t Bother About Trent Williams: As a whole the Niners o-line is ranked 15th in Pass Block Win Rate. That takes into account TW’s 96% rating-so yeah, the rest of the line can be had. The prevailing theory is that the Chiefs will put a speed guy like Danna or Anudike-Uzomah against him and have Chris Jones attack the middle or other side.

-In a game such as this reducing mistakes is paramount but Reid and Shanny Jr. especially tend to make errors when deciding whether or not to go for it on 4th down. By ESPN’s metric Shanny has the worst in-game decision-making skills, making the wrong call 28% of the time on non-obvious 4th downs.

-To Blitz or Not to Blitz: Chiefs DC Spagnoulo (?) employs that sort of pressure at a 32% rate. The trouble is that Purdy has a 86.4 QBR and 14 TD’s when blitzed, easily finding safety valves Kittle and McCaffrey. Spags will no doubt create some new wrinkles during the pre-snap period but how effective will they be?

-Speaking Of: Look for McCaffrey to be used early and often against the Chiefs suspect run D. San Fran will not make the same mistake the Ravens did when they came out throwing. The Niners were #1 in yards per carry on zone runs and K.C. was 31st defending. That’s the kind of statistical disparity that Shanny and run game coordinator Chris Foerster simply can’t ignore. By the same token, Reid and OC Matt Nagy would be fools not to have Pacheco running straight at Chase Young.

Guaranteed to Happen: A 30+ yard shot play to MVS. It’s happened in both playoff games so far.

-Feast or Famine: Cb L’Jarius Sneed has rightly won praise for making big plays in a timely fashion but he’s also been flagged 17(!) times so far this year for holding/pass interference, etc. as well.

It was a pleasure putting these together for the 9th(?) year. Shit, has it really been that long? Enjoy the game and comment like you’ve never commented before!

4.7 13 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
927 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Doktor Zymm

Woooaaaw, TRENT NCDUFFY, jaja ist holding

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dan Fouts was less annoying in the Waterboy than Romo has been tonight.

ThePirateSloth

Can’t hold anything back BFC

Recovery Whiskey

Because Fouts was a better QB

Porky Prime

Shanahan got his mulligan.

Wakezilla

Trent Mcduffy? More like Trent Mcdumby

Last edited 8 months ago by Wakezilla
Redshirt

Bailout Flag

ThePirateSloth

Oh ffs

NotShogunButShogun

Did he just say stripper bowl?

Doktor Zymm

What the fuck was that play on 2&15??

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How dare you question Baby Shanny’s genius?

Doktor Zymm

Nepobaby gonna cry?

Doktor Zymm

NICHT

Beerguyrob

BLEERGH makes a rare appearance in this game!

TheRevanchist

I like that. It’s been much better with the less calls

The Maestro

Indian John Wick? Oh hell yeah. Sign me up.

Recovery Whiskey

If this winds up pre-empting** CBS’ prime time lineup, all the better.

** Except on the West Coast

Game Time Decision

60 minutes next
And folowed by Walker Texas Ranger

NotShogunButShogun

Andy Rooney complains about mixed nuts!

WCS

See, THIS was the real Script.

T-Swift in attendance during an overtime Superb Owl? Goodell, you bastard,

comment image

Brocky

You know, it’d be a real shame if feel good story brock purdy turned it over here

Recovery Whiskey

He would be relevant if he did that

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s not really a new game dickwads! It’s not 15 minutes!

Beerguyrob

Whose grandad is now mad that “60 Minutes” has been pre-empted everywhere (except on the West Coast)?

WCS

Buddy’s?

King Hippo

Chip and a chair, Purdy Mouth. As Charlie Kelly would speechwrite THIS MUST DOOOO

Senor Weaselo

Tails never fails!

WCS

This overtime already is more exciting than 28-3. Seriously, fuck you forever, Falcons.

comment image

Redshirt

Come on, Septuple Overtime!

Senor Weaselo

OVERTIME!

2Pack

What a chicken shit move. You’ve got time for a play… Bombs away Bro…

makeitsnowondem

I understand Rice’s frustration!

yeah right

Dan Patrick voice:
We’ve got OVERtime.

makeitsnowondem

SUPER BONUS DRINKING PERIOD

Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna get some macarons

Doktor Zymm

Got some wine and a nut cookie instead. New overtime rules woo!

ThePirateSloth

Ah the sweet sounds of the hottest jam of 2024, Jump Around by House of Pain

The kids love that banger

Game Time Decision

Are there special OT ads?

Senor Weaselo

Harrison Butker as the potential Chefs MVP? Apparently the most FGs kicked in a single Owl, and now the career record.

Doktor Zymm

WOW OVERTIME SUPERBOWL

LemonJello

OH WE CAN HAZ OVERTIME, BULLEEE DAT!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

These guys have completely fucked my plan to go to bed early.

ThePirateSloth

Dammit, I really want Kelce to catch the winning TD

King Hippo

One chance. Better win the damned toss and score a tuddy.

Brocky

comment image

Redshirt

I was half-expecting a flag there

yeah right

Yaaahhh herewego!!!

Doktor Zymm

Sentient ham koans are the wisdome we NEED

Senor Weaselo

Well I parked at a perfect time. Take it away, Kevin Harlan!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Warner did not Kel-ce that coming

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(I am so very tired)

yeah right

/ gratuitously clapping

Doktor Zymm

The germans are all about the prospect of super bowl overtime, good on them!

Redshirt

All hail The Script

WCS

What happens if SHANK’LOR dictates the winner?

Porky Prime

Then praise his name!

WCS

*Her

Porky Prime

Their?

Redshirt

Zir?

WCS

sure

Beerguyrob

She played at halftime.

Porky Prime

Swiftyception!

ThePirateSloth

Well that was a waste of 24 secs

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey!

-Rick Pitino

Redshirt

-My Prom Date

Doktor Zymm

Ok, nice timeout to look at brittney mahomes’s vinyl overalls

Doktor Zymm

BOSA JESZT

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THESE CHIEFS I CALL THEM BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL ABOUT THE TIGHT ENDS

Wakezilla

If KC scores a last second TD and Kelce catches the ball, how awful will that Taylor Swift song be when she writes a song about it?

WCS

You better learn the lyrics quick, because it’s going to be played a lot.

Beerguyrob

🎶 “His looks fills me with smiles,
And he’s more man than Harry Styles.”🎶

Last edited 8 months ago by Beerguyrob
NotShogunButShogun

Are you psychic?!

King Hippo

will they take a deep shot?

LemonJello

Also, a voting criteria for an AVN Award