Good morning and happy Sunday!
Holy fucking shit am I tired of this fucking rain. I’m sure most have you have seen the mudslides, cliffs collapsing, roads getting undercut, pothole insanity that we’ve been getting in California this year. This fucking place has no idea how to rain properly. We’ll go 11 months without rain and then “Here you fucking go! Here’s your years worth of rain in 2 goddamn days!”
Only this has happened 3 times already. Stop that shit! There’s no place for the runoff to go
When did a series of rainstorms become an “Atmospheric River” by the way? Was that about the time when we started naming winter storms? Like Winter Storm Brunhilda or some shit?
The fuck is that all about? When I was a kid, if you looked outside and it was raining, it was fucking raining. Period. That shit with the winter storm naming? When it snowed we knew it was going to snow until it stopped fucking snowing outside. We didn’t have to name that bullshit.
Oh yeah! They started naming the full moons too. Like The Blue Caterpillar Ring Around Your Anus Full Moon.
It only happens once in a decade!
Fuck me anyway. Is this a clear sign that there are way too many people majoring in Meteorology or just another warning sign of our beyond idiotic current existence?
You tell me because I don’t understand a goddamn thing anymore.
Enough with the ranting, we’ve got some cooking to do.
The former missus right, who passed away almost 2 years ago was the inspiration for our menu today.
Not to be an asshole or anything but she wasn’t exactly “skilled” in the culinary arts, let’s say.
Hey another way you could say it is, she couldn’t cook for shit.
Don’t get me wrong, she tried and had a few things she could replicate fairly consistently- this dish being one of them – but she wasn’t exactly Julia fucking Child neither. Which is actually too bad because she lived in New Orleans for several years and was a big fan of Creole cooking.
She just couldn’t do it herself.
Another thing she didn’t do much of was refreshing her spice supply. If you grabbed a jar of gumbo file off of her spice shelf there was more than a good chance it was bought during the fucking Reagan administration.
Obviously I was able to amend some of these issues and did, I also just grabbed the goddamn wheel and said “No, no. That’s OK. I’ll cook this one.”
This will be yet another one pot meal with only a handful of ingredients. Nice and easy and tasty. Cheap too if you go for the cheaper cuts of pork chops.
Again, basic inspiration was from the emptying of my freezer to make room for this current season of Sunday gravy storage and leftovers. I came across this one day and “Boom” inspiration.
THAT right there is some leftover chicken stock from Thanksgiving. As always son-in-law smokes the Thanksgiving Turkey which yields exactly ZERO stock to make gravy with. I make up for this by making my own deep, rich and slow simmered chicken stock because motherfucker? We need some gravy on motherfucking Thanksgiving and I’ll make that shit if I have to.
This stock works great with our dish today.
We will also be requiring the prime time protein that is…
Look at them glorious bastards. Thick-cut BONE-IN pork chops. I was shocked as shit to find these at the grocery store since most bone-in chops are them skinny fuckers and the thick cut chops are the boneless less flavorful – read less fatty- sirloin chops.
Now I’m happy!
Baked Pork Chops and Rice ala Former Missus Right!
Inspiration definitely from my ex-wife but details provided by The Country Cook.com
3 Tablespoons salted butter
1 ½ cups long grain rice
½ cup chopped yellow onion
½ cup chopped celery
3 cups stock – Beef stock works here too but homemade anything works best
2 Tablespoons Worcestershire sauce (optional)
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
4 bone-in pork chops
Salt and pepper to taste.
Garlic powder
The rice is prepped a bit differently today with the inclusion of some minced veggies.
And our dearest friend garlic.
Measure out the stock, yes we want to be fairly precise so the rice isn’t soupy or dried up.
Using a Dutch oven, melt the butter then start sauteing up them veggies until just tender. Five to six minutes give or take.
Get the rice and garlic in there.
Saute until the rice starts to brown up nicely. A few minutes should do it.
Yeah, that’s nice and toasty looking.
Then we add in the chicken stock, Worcestershire sauce and some salt and pepper to taste.
Let’s get to work browning the pork chops. Once again, let the protein come up to room temperature before browning to ensure proper doneness at the end of the cooking process.
Lube up a skillet with the oil and get busy.
Those are some sexy looking pork chops right there.
Season them chops with some salt, pepper and garlic powder. Couple of minutes per side is all.
Don’t over cook the pork chops. Them shits is expensive these days and we don’t want dry-ass pork with this dish.
Go ahead and finish browning all of the pork.
Now we’ll add the browned chops to the rice/stock mixture in our Dutch Oven.
Don’t waste that fond in the skillet. The tasty browned bits, rendered fat and juices, you know. Keep that shit by deglazing the skillet with a small bit of the stock like this.
Using a wooden spoon scrape up all the tasty bits then pour that shit over the top of the pork chops, slap a lid up on that bitch and get into a 425 degree oven for 35-40 minutes.
After cooking – this shit is important right here so pay close attention – remove the lid and let everything rest for 10 minutes or so!
We let it rest because (A this is some seriously fucking HOT shit but mostly because (B we want the liquids to absorb into the rice. We ain’t going for soupy, we’re going for soft fluffy, richly flavored rice.
Like this shit right here.
And a closer look.
Yeah, I guess it’s a bit on the beige side but we’re going for taste today. That rice alone? I could eat that shit every day.
Serve with your favorite canned or frozen vegetable to make for maximum Mid-America Caucasian Cuisine perfection.
Both of my daughters had this dish WAY more many times than I did so my palate may be a bit more rose-colored. Remember they lived with her for several additional years after I cut and ran.
I sent the above photo to my daughters and explained what I was making and why. Eldest right responded with “Yea, definitely looks like mom dinner.”
Then I asked “Was your mom a good cook?” To which she responded…
“She made some things well. We didn’t starve. All the memes that have ‘White people food’ comments reminds me of her food. Hamburger Helper, Rice-A-Roni etc were very common.”
Youngest right responded with “That’s literally a plate of food I ate SO many times. To be honest it’s still a little triggering hahaha. I’m sure it’s better when you make it but I can just taste the poverty version. Mom’s version usually involved slightly expired ingredients.”
For me this is a bittersweet memory but I still think it’s a tasty dish. I’m mean it’s a fucking baked pork chop for fucks sake! What’s not to like? That rice is the shit though. Think a similar profile to a Rice-A-Roni but so much more depth of flavor. The melting pork fat just permeates the rice and y’all know me.
I’m all about that pork fat, Boss.
I thoroughly enjoyed this trip down a slightly darkened and honestly a bit weird memory lane.
Give this one a try if you have a mind. It’s a solid weeknight dinner with quick and easy prep.
Just don’t make your kids live off of it, if you know what I’m saying.
That’s all we got for today folks. Keep enjoying the rest of your weekend.
I’ve finally got a little sunshine out there and I’m gonna take advantage of that shit.
See you all next week then?
Sounds good.
Be well everyone.
PEACE!
Here are The Monkees in scene from their movie Head (1968). Timothy Carey, the biggest loose cannon in Hollywood history, also appears in this scene. Carey is actually playing himself in real life in this scene. He was generally fired from every movie he worked on, even though Kubrick used him twice in The Killing (1956) and Paths of Glory (1957), but he ended up getting fired from Paths of Glory as well and they had to shoot around it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN-gqEesF5M
That was a weird movie. I liked it, but I was high when I saw it. I know, hard to believe!
Galaxy just pulled ahead of the Miami Messis!
Galaxy now playing with 10 men (“You have my attention” -L. Graham) after a 2nd yellow.
Gonna be a rough last 5-10.
Dammit, Messi just tied the game in stoppage time.
Stupid talented asshole. (“You have my attention” -L. Graham)
Full time 1-1.
Taste test in progress. In a moment, the results of that trial.
https://ibb.co/2hP00wf
https://ibb.co/Yt51h16
Clockwise from top: Thin Mint, Samoa, Tagalong. I chose these because I’d never had them before. I rate them thusly:
#1: Samoa
#2: Tagalong
#3: Thin Mint
The peanut butter Do-Si-Do is of course the undisputed champion so it would have been unfair to include them here. The S’mores I’m saving for a special occasion or religious feast day. I’m kinda’ sorry I didn’t get the shortbread cookies.
And here… we… go.
Oh lawd.
Your ranking is correct, everything else you say is wrong.
Flagged for violence… AND ADORABLENESS
Oh SNAP
Tom Arnold and Roseanne made cameos in Nightmare on Elm Street 4.
That fact just continues to bewilder me.
I’m sure they took the roles for purely artistic reasons…
Not to mention that Tom Arnold was terrific in True Lies.
“Boy, I remember the first time *I* got shot out of a cannon…”
And he was funny on The Simpsons. But yes, glad someone mentioned True Lies.
https://ibb.co/2S0Y9ZC
/Governor Abbott has entered the chat
Gov Abbott is firmly on the side of cancer.
It’s quiet out there. Too quiet.
THIS TARMAC I CALL IT THE WESTERN FRONT BECAUSE IT’S ALL QUIET.
You know what my life is missing? A deep, soulful cover of the B-52’s “Roam”…
[turns on TV]
[achieves enlightenment]
(wants to watch Messi vs. LA Galaxy)
Only on Apple TV+. That’s bad!
(remembers we get Apple TV+ after switching to T-Mobile)
That’s good!
(discovers on top of Apple TV+ you have to subscribe to MLS Season Pass for $80)
That’s bad!
Fuck you, MLS. Good luck growing the game here.
And the Galaxy have already missed a PK.
Good start!
It’s that time again. There’s like 20 county judge slots open and I’m writing my name into every one of them.
https://ibb.co/WGRCFQH
Greatest comeback politician since Dick Nixon.
Rob Ford took the baton of crackhead mayors and went international.
According to Wings, the county judge who held a grudge will search forever more for the band on the run.
The best girl scout cookie.
I rank them and thin mints 1 and 1A.
Fucking madmen, the both of you.
These are the kind I always bought previously. I don’t think I’ve had any of the others, but I bought almost all of them today.
Whoa, BFC ol’ bud, go easy on the downvotes there. Downvotes should be reserved for legitimately offensive posts, which are few and far between around here but have happened. Cookies and pop stars don’t even come close to qualifying for that.
Disagree wholeheartedly. The cookie wars demand downvotes.
Ok, that was funny.
That NASCAR finish was amazing.
Viva NASCAR!
Ah. good ol’ Ice Stillers-Iggles rivalry. Sidney Crosby just haunts the Flyera.
Sid’s favourite one panel cartoon these days? The
FarDown Side.We never had Goth Era Sid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RU-q94bYNoY
Found a funny;
What kind of car does a dog hate?
CAT-tillacs
One more of these and I’m flourishing the rolled-up newspaper.
This joke is far from purrfect
Our brains are a source of mystery and wonder, broader than galaxies. Example: some cluster of neurons in there says, “Know what I haven’t heard in a while? Third-Rate Romance.” And viola! It’s stuck in your head for no reason whatsoever!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc3EVDD8qhU
That is a wonderfully cynical tune-“Heard It In A Love Song” belongs in the genre.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiLUTWcLCgU&ab_channel=Ltrainxpress
I was convinced this song was called Purty Little Love Song for a looong time. I still hear it that way!
I’ve never done this kind of thing before, have you?
My haul at the Girl Scout cookie stand in front of the Safeway:
https://ibb.co/v3npVTQ
*handcuffed girl in trunk not included
I dunno, their den mother was lookin’ pretty MILF . . .
Aldi sells the same thing for about half price. The knockoff tagalongs, samoas, and do-si-dos are plug-compatible now that the Girl Scouts are cheaping out. The thin mints are close.
These were five bucks a box. S’mores were six.
It doesn’t get much cheaper than that in 2024.
Or does it?
(cue Twilight Zone music)
Aldi is about $3/package. The fake do-si-dos are seasonal, but the rest are there all year round.
I paid six for Tagalongs. I think I got ripped off by a fourth grader. Bitch!
Clear and Present Danger is on. Fucking hell, it is from 94.
Wifey is watching some sexy detective show on Netflix, so I know I’m going to be getting some…*
*grief
What’s the name of it?
I didn’t catch it.
Ice Stillers’ new guy via trade is named Emil.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMNGpokkGj0
WOO Sunday afternoon history
I have slept more today than yesterday. Had spicy chicken noodle soup. I would not say I am on the mend but surviving. This migraine could fuck off anytime.
Yeah if your head is going to hurt that much the least it could do is be from a hangover, amirite?
Exactly!!!! I can power through those.
So here’s my pork chop question — when to brine and when not to brine?
Brine whenever you can. Especially if you’re going to grill them.
For these kinds of questions I usually trust J Kenji Lopez-Alt and the folks at Serious Eats. I believe they’ve done tests and found that a dry rub is just as effective as a “wet brine”
That said I did slightly overcook some boneless chops last night so what do I know
I trust yeah right
My brine recipe is in here.
https://doorfliesopen.com/2020/07/12/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-grill-a-palooza/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hb46bQp-5Jg
Doktor, found you a place out in the suburbs. We’ll all visit.
https://www.redfin.com/IL/Chicago/2063-N-Humboldt-Blvd-60647/home/12558082?600390594
That is a classic American 4 square. Love them! I had several friends who lived in those, just beautiful.
They spell out the number, but I am laZ. Foursquare.
The street in Arlington I grew up on (and I’m sitting in that exact house now) has houses that were built in all decades since the 1910s up to the 2010s. All the houses are different styles from different eras. We have three wooden “foursquare” houses, all very old, one across from us with a wrap-around screen porch that was fully rebuilt as original just two years ago.
Wow, that’s a great story, Brick. Thanks for sharing.
Anytime, little buddy, anytime.
Holy cats, I feel like warmed-over ass, too. Much like Litre, am probably just dying.
Caitlin Clark going after Pete Maravich’s all-time scoring record.
/I read a Maravich bio and it wasn’t explicitly said but when you combine an OCD kid and proper genetics with an overbearing coach/parent and the keys to a gym? What do you get?*
*a life-changing heart attack at the age of 40 while playing pickup ball
I just took pork chops out of the freezer. Yeah Right does much of my Sunday thinking for me. Hero!
Just got back from the grocery store and who should be standing outside the store but our local girl scout troop selling girl scout cookies.
I bought one box of…
sandwiches
Tagalongs. That’s what I bought. It will be a cold day in hell before i pass up peanut butter and chocolate.
Isnt that th Filipino dialect?
It’s generally an annoying younger sibling! Tagalog is the dialect.
Every. God. Damn. Thing.
Samoas, Dosidos, and Tagalongs of course.
All cromulent cookies. I was going to say Thin Mints, just to watch the world burn! Personally, I love them, but I realize they are controversial.
Do-si-dos!
Bullets!
Oh wait this is California I forgot the girl scouts don’t sell those here.
Yet.*
*in Alabama it’s only small calibre because they’re women, you see
Peanut butter cookies.
I’m waiting in my rental car outside a Safeway while my mom is inside shopping (I am a good son). There’s a Girl Scout cookie stand right in front. I’m tempted . . .
My mother’s ‘comfort dish’ that I’ve never, ever tried to re-create? I’ll give you the recipe
-Boil macaroni pasta well past al dente
-strain, mix well with tomato juice
-combine with several dollops of Cheez Whiz
-serve (spices included salt and pepper shakers and nothing else)
/yes, we were as poor as fuck after the divorce and she was doing the best that she could
/Still
Oof.
Ma made a dish she called goulash but it was not. She cooked macaroni, then browned some hamburger in onion and garlic. When the meat was browned she added the macaroni along with a can of tomato sauce and a can of corn. Cook for a few then the goulash part was a tablespoon of paprika.
I seem to remember her adding “parmesan cheese” from the green can, over the top.
She had at least 4 more ingredients by my count so she wins.
My mom was normally a very good, if unadventurous cook, but I recall one shameful experiment with something called Spatini spaghetti sauce. It was powdered spaghetti sauce. Powdered.
Ma used the Lawry’s spaghetti packet.
One of my friends came over for dinner and said “That was good but your mom makes the only brown spaghetti sauce I’ve ever seen.”
I have thought of that dish for a long time, my mother made this onion soup mix and mushrooms. Always served with over cooked peas. She also did a chicken version. I may have to torment my wife with that recipe.
Ah, Del Monte…
Those green beans in the picture were Del Monte.
“Rick Pitino’s Tantrum” is going to beat Creighton.
He’s always been known as the explosive type.
“We beg to disagree.”
-The semen dribbling down his thigh
I feel like a big bag of shit. If I stay in the basement dozing all day will it lead to divorce? Let’s find out!
Tell her to bring you a beer and a sandwich when you wake up.
A big bag of shit consists of bacteria and stuff that particular bacteria likes to eat. So a bag of shit actually, in aggregate, probably is a fairly happy place for the inhabitants.
Gotta crush on this LSU ball player. Why? She’s left-handed and can hit the 3, just like I could many, many years ago.
When you said “hit the 3” I was worried that Tyreek Hill was in trouble with CPS again.
Well this is not the post for you my friend…
This is what has happened to the hooked on phonics generation.
Energy drinks for all the pool boys!
“Go on…”
Also me-related,
I ended up brushing the pig with lard before tossing it in the oven and am please with the results. While it was cooking, I read up on the authentico method where toy basically cook down the lard as the process for making carnitas. That’s a bit extreme for me (also lots of babysitting the stove in batches) so I feel the lard bath before sticking it in the oven is a relevant option available
Look at Mr. Fancy Kitchen over here!
Once you go marble counter tops… You never go back.
Seconded
These came with the house. My wife wants it all replaced, of course.
I thought that looked like granite.
Good job triggering your daughter. Toughen her up.
Also, she should know slightly-expired is still good. Unless those expired wuflu tests the usps is PAYING to give people for free aren’t 100% accurate and she’d rather pay for her own tests????
That generation needs to stop poverty-shaming. A lot of them are going to be facing it.
Lube up a skillet with the oil and get busy.
Sounds like the title of the Charissa Thompson sex tape.
THIS DOG OF MINE I LET OFF-LEASH FOR A BIT WHILE WALKING HER ALONG THE RIVER I CALL HER NANCY REAGAN BECAUSE SHE DID QUITE A BIT OF LOLLYGAGGING.
She also probably swallowed something she shouldn’t have while you weren’t looking.
She put plenty of things in her mouth that she wasn’t supposed to but nobody ever said that about Nancy Reagan.
Because everyone insists she is just so smart but not because she’s actually smart…..
La casa Nostra has fish stew goin on today. Also a simple dish. Cod, potatoes, black olives, in olive oil and orange tomato sauce, slow cooked.
Sort of like a bacalhau?
Yes a variation of it.
Do you deliver?
Sorry only in a 30 minute radius.
Yum.
Solid dish with deep meaning. Each family has them. Well done Sir.