TGIF! Hopefully you didn’t get Franchise Tagged this week and can negotiate a fair market value contract for the upcoming year!
Survival – Personal Edition
Let’s say you’re going on a business trip. Except your cheap ass company has booked you into a cheap ass hotel. Sure, that’s better than a motel, but still. Anyway, here’s some tips to endure that cheap ass hotel.
- On check-in ask for a room in a quiet location. That means the room shouldn’t be near elevators, ice machines, vending machines, the parking lot, or the noisy bar. Also, try to get a room at the end of a hall where there’s less foot traffic.
- Once you get to your room, don’t unpack yet. First go around and make sure everything works. Check heating/air conditioning depending on the season. Check all lights, the television, and the water pressure in the shower. If anything is not up to par, ask for a different room.
- Remove the bedspread and make sure the sheets are clean. The bedspread and sheets are also probably really thin, so be prepared to use the room towels for extra warmth. Call the front desk for extra towels if needed.
- Clip the curtains closed. When closed there is going to be a gap that lets in too much light. Use pins, tape, binder clips, or needles from a sewing kit to secure them. Also, carry a sleep mask for extreme situations.
- Check the mattress firmness. If it’s too soft, place in on the floor for the extra support.
- Check the clock in the room. Make sure the alarm is not set for some stupid early time, or set at all really. Use your cell phone for an alarm if needed. Do not rely on wake-up service as it can be unreliable at these cheap ass hotels.
- Plan your morning shower. Some cheap ass hotels will run out of hot water sometime between 7am and 9am, so be ready to shower before or after that rush hour window.
- Travel with two small rubber doorstops. Wedge them under the door to your room and under the door to the adjacent room.
- Make sure to bring your own snacks and beverages. There’s no guarantee that cheap ass hotel will have anything available for you.
Now, go forth, and kick some ass doing business so you can demand better accommodations on the next trip.
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
SCORE!
I just won $12 in the Mega Millions drawing tonight, on a $9 bet! That’s like $3 profit!
I am totally going to Party Down and get all the hookers and blow and booze and fast cars and a color TV and all the extra deluxe I can find! The rest I’ll invest in blue chip stocks, but I’ll set a portion aside and play around with some of the riskier stuff. No pain no gain! I’ll probably look into investment-grade real estate as well, or maybe park it in a hedge fund.
God Bless America
I realize that just about anyone could be a “sin eater” type; just get blackout drunk and people could unload their darkest secrets on you without worrying that it’ll come back to haunt them or you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKlagulPPj8
This really works
Of the colleges my son applied to, his only rejection so far is UC Irvine. Fucking Anteaters.
Oh Spam gonna have some words.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6qqks-TfJM
(artist’s conception)
He’s not even full spam. He’s only a son of spam on his mother’s side. I ain’t scared of him!
*runs away fast
My niece got rejected at [School A] and accepted at [much more respectable School B]. There’s not telling how all this stuff works.
He got accepted at another UC and all the Cal State schools so far. We are still waiting to hear from Cal Poly and Fresno State, my two top choices for him.
HI I’M MARK DAVIS AND I WENT TO FRESNO STATE TOO!
(actually it was Chico State, but I’ll never let facts get in the way of an attempt at a joke)
My buddy went to Chico. I don’t want to make fun of him, but the urge is strong. Would be a bit different if I wasn’t his mentor.
I hope you didn’t leave out UC Santa Cruz. He could be a Banana Slug.
Left it out. We hate the city of Santa Cruz (sorry not sorry).
There’s a lot to hate there!
This week just didn’t want to end properly but I made it through 2 downpours and 5 daily round trip commutes on the 405.
My new hire signed the acceptance letter and is in background check and hopefully about a week out from joining the team.
I really think she’s going to be a big part of this before all is said and done.
Not easily impressed with most applicants lately but I was impressed.
Now I want a shot of moonshine.
Dibs on Sunflower
You know, if I had a halfway decent book to read, I probably wouldn’t have another glass of wine. But I don’t, so I guess I’ve got no other option.
Try Verdigris by Michele Mari.
Promise.
Lakers beat Greek Freaks by a point without LeBron; The’Angelo Russell got 44. Sweet game.
Huh. I didn’t know that Balls was involved with a professional basketball team.
On the women’s BB side, USC /UCLA is heading to OT!
Juju Watkins is down! She is being helped off. If she is out, USC is done.
Nice spread and sound travel dawg advice Mr Ayo. Here’s Pam for no special reason.
That’s a nice blower there.
“Videotaping this crime spree is the best idea we’ve ever had!”
https://streamable.com/p5a98r
Gee, I sure hope the police don’t see through their clever disguises.
THE BLAX HAS LANDED! REPEAT. THE BLAX HAS LANDED!
This is true.
Sounds like an alarm one would hear on Staten Island.
Blax is 4000 feet over the sexy coeds of ASU.
Sounds like a film that Rex Ryan would be interested in watching.
Blax’ flight just got cut off by another Southwest plane just like in the Calvin and Hobbes comic below.
7000 feet and counting. Touchdown in 5 minutes.
When you said 2333 yards until touchdown, I thought you were talking about the jets.
No, I mean I know you were talking about jets, I meant a different kind of jets. The New York Jets.
Touchdown with the plane or via parachute?
Blax is at 10,000 feet on final descent.
Final for this flight segment, obvs. Not final, final.
Well, we hope not
I just got a message from the HOA that sez Spectrum is going to give us a bulk rate of 30 dollars/month for 1 gig of internet. For 5 years. I’m paying 73 now, for 300 up/300 down. This sounds waaaaaaaay too good to be true. There’s a meeting with them on the 16th. I will be there.
Up to…
1 gig
Yeah, it’s Spectrum, so you know they’re full of shit. But if it at least matches what I have, which is plenty for our purposes, it would save me quite a bit of money.
Did they just retro fit with fiber cable perhaps? 10 years back when they did that in our hood we emerged from the store age.
Another company tried to come in earlier this year and wanted to put fiber in, but the HOA said no because they just repaved all the streets. I don’t know what Spectrum’s plan involves, all I saw was a basic agenda for the meeting on the 16th. It said 1 gig, free modems, 5yr contract, 30 bucks a month. We shall see.
I have Spectrum currently. Why would they want less money from me? There are 142 houses here, many of them snowbirds. I’d be surprised if most of us don’t already have their service, there aren’t a ton of choices here. Fios and TMobile are the only others I know of.
Pity it makes a huge difference. Your issues every 3-6 weeks simply melt away.
I’ve been here 2 years, my internet is pretty reliable. It has gone out like 2 or 3 times, and that’s been briefly when it’s been exceptionally windy. We had gusts the other day over 70mph and it stayed on.
Fun fact: “emerging from storage” is how Jim Tomsula starts his morning when he’s decided to take a break from riding the rails for a while and take up residence at the U-Stor-It facility.
Stone age… fuckin auto correct…
Debating whether to tell the Dr. Mrs. the terrible secret from my past.
(the real secret is that I used a BOGO coupon for Carl’s Jr. burgers at lunchtime and that’s why I didn’t have much of an appetite for dinner tonight)
This might be the future Mr. Gumbygirl, when Gumby shuffles off this mortal coil.
I don’t use the word “hero” very often…
The only way it could be better is if he was nekkid when he was meatslapping. Fuck those vegans!
Watching the first couple of season of ‘Vikings’ and it strikes me that Kathryn Winnick, (a Canuck!) deserves a spot on Sexy Friday.
Hers can be the followup to the much-anticipated Riley Dandy edition.
TIL that baby carrots are really full-sized carrots cut to length and carved into shape.
Wait, really?
[think BugEyedBoo might be pulling his leg]
[looks it up]
Yes, really!
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/the-secret-behind-baby-carrots/
blaxxabath has crossed over into the unknown airspace of the New Mexico Territory.
https://ibb.co/jWZPNXw
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wO6MG-S0Lqc
I saw a suggestion that instead of doing a parody of it, SNL should just run Katie Britt’s actual response to the SOTU and just add sound effects to make it sound like it’s being done in front of a live studio audience.
I can’t watch more than a minute of it. It’s just so, so awful.
Self-flagellation for having missed this (a DOUBLE SHOT, even) last week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CJHbfkROow
blaxxabath’s plane (SWA196) is taxiing to the runway at COS right now:
https://ibb.co/QddY0Wd
LOVE the Flight radar app!
Now it’s on the runway on the other side of the airport. This pilot might be lost or drunk.
https://ibb.co/tpWXQkn
They can be both!
Flying over Colorado City now
There’s like three planes going towards the same spot and Blax is on one of them.
They’re approximately 2000 feet apart in altitude
Happy to report no collisions
ATC sucks
My bad, that was the wrong plane. SWA196 is aloft at 35000 ft.
https://ibb.co/Fz7tfr7
This is like following the Apollo 11 moon landing; the excitement is palpable. I hope blaxxabath logs into wifi so we can send course correction updates that he can relay to the pilots via notes scrawled onto cocktail napkins.
“No, no, these idiots I follow on a football and dick joke blog, say that we’re lost. You need to fix this, now!”
Pull over and get directions!
Passenger sez:
PUSH THE BUTTON
Discussing politics with my brother and father and we’re in agreement that if, when Marjorie “I’m A Stupid Twat” Greene yelled something at him, Biden stepped to the side of the podium and said “Shut that cunt’s mouth or I’ll come over there and fuck start her head” he’d win the Electoral College 500-35.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xsaMcw69D8
I think I’m winning the non-existent “Friday Sucks” award.
12:20PM: [Tells employee that he’s done, hand over your keys, etc.]
2:20PM: [sitting in a dentist chair, waiting for the freezing to take effect so that he can pull a cracked molar]
You’re saying it’s probably detrimental to one’s health to be a drifter in Ontario this weekend?
I always wonder how many peeps have no clue where the drifter in Ontario thing comes from
We really should go back and print them in booky-book format
Did you get any good painkillers?
Nope. But there’s a lot of leftover pills from the kiddies getting their skulls cracked open. Yay!?
somebody wants a Hippo Visit!
Yay!
I just saw an ad for a drug called “Arexvy”. It sounds like it would be boner pills, right? But it’s not.
Ok i got on my plane. Time to stop jokes about this particular aircraft crashing today.
On Wednesday my MIL’s plane had to divert from Burbank to…get this…LAX.
I once went to Google Flights and looked up a trip from LAX to Burbank via commercial airliners. The result was an 18 hour trip that went through Oakland AND Salt Lake City.
Still faster and cheaper than an Uber.
https://youtu.be/MOR0Kfct9Bk?si=GIeyfg-xLW5BDCm1
/just finished book about The Lusitania
MY TIME TO SHINE!!!
I am going to burn down every Wendy’s I can find and at my trial I am going to testify, truthfully mind you, that that goddamn ‘go dancing go dancing’ ad drove me to it and I guarantee the jury will find me not guilty.
SRTONG TAEK
Wheeeeee!
That was my exact reaction.
It wasn’t the surge pricing bullshit?
That was bad, but this current ad campaign is a crime against humanity.
https://youtu.be/xRUE0aAI5o8?si=gyJt6G7eWuRqUtZd
It’s not that song.
If they incorporated that song into the ad I’d probably be at Wendy’s right now, ordering a triple bacon cheeseburger.
Sexy Friday Appropriate?
It’s that Lowratio?
It is now.
Goddammit.
Did Girl #2 lose a quarter or something?
I had questions about that one too. Like, is she leaning over a crib? “Here baby, I got something for that diaper rash!”
Ok, that was uncalled for. Sorry.
Never apologize
I pondered this for Request Line (what’s holier than GETTING SAVED?), but this song fits here because sexy af.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgjqhGjUIb0
/always wanted this played at the strip club (back before we realized how crazy strip clubs are, from a germ perspective)
Oh man! Hilton Garden Inn i checked out of this morning!
No free continental breakfast.
My wake up call did not call.
TV did not have signal.
No water pressure. Inadequate HEAT.
No closet bar (for open closet) and hangars stacked on shelf.
Seriously had to work the curtains closure because they were all long and the heater was under the window.
I don’t know what’s with their wifi but my phone as a hotspot provided better service.
About 2 of each towel (bad towels).
Staff was nice and the hot coffee was good. Will return.
Oh, and I couldn’t get the king bed room I reserved because just unavailable.
Oh! No freezer in the mini fridge and no turntable in thw microwave!
great shoulder work this week! And look forward to F1/footy-less Saturday!
/unless you forget
//readies bullwhip
I think I’ll just mention two footy tilts that bear mentioning.
so help me Zuul, if you jink City of Men…
Number 1 is an amazing picture
We are in full agreement on Ms. Sandy Nipples!