AFL Beat 2024 – Round 1

I’m going to try a new format this year. Let’s see if it works.

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The Ladder

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The Results

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The Highlights

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Next Round’s Schedule

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Footy Tipping Contest

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Notes and Comments

I don’t think anyone would have guessed that the defending champion Collingwood Magpies would be 0-2 to start the year. That’s a huge surprise to me.

Hippo take note: Carlton is looking pretty pretty pretty good this year!

St. Kilda (although I do like St. Kinda Good) will be a tough team to play this year. Maybe Ross Lyon really is as good a coach as everyone says he is.

Your early leader of the competition is BFC and Lemonjello’s GWS Giants and it’s not close. They look the real deal. They should make finals and will probably get the Minor Premiership (regular season #1). Barring any injuries, of course.

They’ve announced details for the new team in Tasmania! As expected, the team is named the Tasmania Devils. If you want a founding membership, go here! I became a Founding Member as did BFC so you know all the cool kids are doing it!

Don’t forget to put the Footy Tips in! See you next week!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Game Time Decision

number 1 in the pick’em, woohoo
/will drop this week

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

17 and 5 on kicks? That’s unreal.

THESE ESSENDON BOMBERS I CALL THE ESSENDON SMART BOMBERS BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT MISSING MANY TARGETS.

Sharkbait

I know fuck all about the AFL. But the Tasmania Devils membership sounds intriguing

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Founding membership for $10 Australian (plus shipping) gets you a sticker!

SonOfSpam

I am in. GROUND FLOOR.

Game Time Decision

I know less about AFL than McNabb does about overtime rules, but it’s fun to watch

blaxabbath

THIS SB4 TED CRUZ CALLS IT HIS 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER CAROLINE CRUZ BECAUSE IT WON’T JUST DIE ALREADY!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My Giants did have one major injury week one (fine week zero) with legend Cal Ward popping his shoulder out of socket in a pretty gruesome fashion. He’s out 6 to 8 weeks but Finn Callaghan and Harry Perryman being back and healthy against the Roos made up for it. Whitfield looked like he may have lost a step but with Cadman bulking up and stepping up, Jesse Hogan picking up where he left off last year, and Taylor, Idun, and Buckley combining for the best defensive line the comp, this team is fucking primed to make a deep run.

Please don’t be like the rest of my sports teams and shit the bed as soon as I get my hopes up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Got my Tasmanian Devils (digital) founding membership card today!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought it was four but ME TOO!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Harvey Weinstein, describing how the length of his prison sentence got quadrupled