INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
Ah, so back to normal.
Well, not really.
Oh, shit. What now?
You’ll see.
INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The studio sits vacant. The PRODUCER is nowhere to be seen, and DJ 3000 is in his normal position, lights flashing like a pinball machine.
DJ 3000: …HE SHOOTS HE SCORES! [looks around] HEY, WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO?
— [VOIP LINE FLIES OPEN] —
DJ 3000: HEY, WHERE ARE YOU? IT’S TIME…
PRODUCER’S VOICE: Hello, you’ve reached [PRODUCER’S NAME]. I’ll be out of the office until March 28th. If it’s an emergency…I don’t know, call the fire department or something. Bye.
DJ 3000: AW MAN I DON’T WANT TO HOST REQUEST LINE AGAIN.
DJ 3000 is distracted as another exciting incident happens in the college basketball game he’s watching. He sighs and the ON AIR light comes on.
DJ 3000: HEY FOLKS, IT’S YOUR OLD FRIEND DJ 3000 HERE. I THOUGHT TODAY WE’D CHANGE THINGS UP AND INSTEAD OF WORKING WITH A THEME, WE’LL JUST WATCH SOME BASKETBALL AND IF YOU’VE GOT SOMETHING – ANYTHING – YOU’D LIKE TO HEAR WHILE WE’RE AT IT, GO AHEAD AND CALL IT IN. OTHERWISE, I’LL BE TRACKING THE FOUR HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN BRACKETS I AUTO-GENERATED THAT AREN’T COMPLETELY BUSTED THANK YOU VERY MUCH YOU STUPID TOOTHLESS HOLLER-DWELLING TROGLODYTES. I’LL GET US STARTED WITH SOMETHING THAT I GUESS IS TANGENTIALLY RELATED TO BASKETBALL.
There is no theme for today, other than maybe things that are vaguely related to basketball. But don’t feel constrained – just enjoy the games and if there’s anything you’d like to hear, go ahead and throw it into the comments. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?PUZZLES
nxtWK and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.
Gary Numan explains why there’s only one free throw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXHObgshCK8&ab_channel=GaryNuman-Topic
“Can I request something from The Stranglers?”
-L. Sprewell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYQTL-ws6p4&ab_channel=thestranglerstvVEVO
Sleater-Kinney does not take set shots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZA_7FtttRY&ab_channel=SubPop
Double (Three Point) shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRYZijLZR-Q&ab_channel=ThirdEyeBlindVideos
Kentucky getting bounced early again? Shirley Bassey called it some time ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzLT6_TQmq8&ab_channel=WallofSoundRecording
Not sure is this anything to do with basketball but I do like me a highball, shit, I’ll be right back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTLwiaqDrYA
Wemby of the Spurs certainly is one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XedEne6TXXA&ab_channel=JesusJones
Hah, was thinking this was going to be “Freak on a Leash” thanks to his minutes restriction.
When I think of basketball tunes, I think of…Quiet Riot?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxV7cW95O8o&ab_channel=QuietRiotVault
Do the refs cook in the women’s tourney? LSU had 25 free throws before Rice got their first. Rice was only down 8 at the time.
Terrified of Kim Mulkey.
And her cleavage, apparently.
You have Truth Biscuits attention.
[holds envelope to forehead]
“What Michael Jackson puts on the toast that he serves to an eleven year-old after a ‘sleepover’.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_BeHElKX-o
also would have accepted “moar drugs”
I believe that is a Ryden painting behind that there video
i mean come on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK8HWMrAEUg
I mean, we’re trying to be more imaginative than that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ADgCeYJMN4
lol…great song, but also lol
Dammit!!!
Someday Jokic is going to put up this statline.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8bFT4HsLfE
The Cars’ tribute to Earvin Johnson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0Kv6vxZwL8&pp=ygUObWFnaWMgdGhlIGNhcnM%3D
DOUBLE SHOT (with the lame front end of the song properly skipped by the Ghostbusters sound editor)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DpPicOZOig
Beach Boys singing about basketball if you ignore the lyrics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2IwGflp4cY&ab_channel=TheBeachBoys-Topic
It’s still hilarious, offensive, and hilariously offensive.
https://youtu.be/HBQ2mjkvYY8?si=DnSgoYfKXcq6qydV
Shaq in his prime, backing a guy down in the low post
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM_OWaItNJM&ab_channel=Herotriss
How a dumb coach talks to potential point guards
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg8Tx1bXRRA&ab_channel=TommyBoy
This check shreds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEuDisOu_VM&ab_channel=JBTVMusicTelevision
chick, dumbass
“This check shreds”
Donald Trump’s attorneys, disposing of yet another bounced payment.
https://ibb.co/r4066S1
Jeff Bezos’ ex could easily be on there
I was surprised she wasn’t included
accurate
a kickass drinking/mosh pit song, from the “Second String” album
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MknoA6d2koQ
Fightin’ Horatio’s haven’t doubled the score yet on Stetson so the protruding vein on Hurley’s forehead is telling him the team has to run laps after the game.
2 Getting the “and 1” after a foul call
/appropriate times for a Yalie to flex
Blatantly lying in your confirmation hearing and getting appointed to the Supreme Court anyways.
Callback to a recent draft…VERY punchable.
Wish I knew how much work I ending up doing today before I started drinking. Would’ve saved a lot of time!
Some nap-worthy “action” eh?
Sure was! Gamblor was not kind to me this morning. We are still up though!
Fightin’ Horatios on pace to win 104-38 and Hurley is about to go into the locker room and tear his players new assholes because they let up in the last 3-4 minutes.
I think I found out what happened to Kentucky
https://www.lex18.com/news/we-can-not-stop-him-covington-billboard-of-man-eating-mac-and-cheese-goes-viral
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmXZOI7cM0M
basketball adjacent
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfzsMQGqrt0
100% chance that Putin blames the Moscow shooting on Ukraine
Non-zero chance Putin orchestrated it to justify whatever comes next
My money is on classic Islamic terrorism taking advantage of the fact that Moscow’s ability to exact retribution is fairly limited at the moment.
Those wacky Chechens!
“DAS IS ARROGANT! DAS IS ‘TAUNTING!!’”https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3x2vabrVXM/?igsh=bWNzbmJvazdlbWxi
This is really going to mess with our sport naming conventions
Lowratio’s in for a busy weekend, nay, month.
UConn looking very much like a #1 overall seed.
Also, Mister Hat not putting up much resistance. Like in that sauna with Brittfar!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahGqrkarPYk
This defensive formation by the Huskies really has the Stetson Hatters confounded…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzwP0d5YcP8
cut it out uconn that’s mean
Seger knows the Eurostep is bullshit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQOSfqPknP8&ab_channel=ConCherry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96PiX9tnMwE
This is proper version.
He was my first concert…kicked a lot of ass.
More travelin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZiSuKLOKeM&pp=ygUMdHJhdmVsaW4gbWFu
My parents’ first date was Lynyrd Skynyrd, and a guy standing in front of them vomited into his cowboy hat.
That’s the only real takeaway either mom or dad has about their first date.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtPjIWwpIIs
https://ibb.co/kyDHj3g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCyWv_vexYc
SUPERSONIC DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti1bFMBd6V4
From whence 3-pointers begin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGhoLcsr8GA&pp=ygUTZG93bnRvd24gbWFja2xlbW9yZQ%3D%3D
DOUBLE THIS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx06XNfDvk0&ab_channel=ALNUCAHC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-uSWAJd9GE
The Blair Witch from downtown!
In fairness the lyric version should be its own song.
This video actually has basketball in it! Plus, “HE’S ON FIRE, BABY!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5ZtotlZ0ug
But seriously this is also an open thread for basketball this afternoon.
Here’s a rap song about basketball, which is the equivalent of a C&W song about NASCAR:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SRuy_ufMoI
Sticking to sprots
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUQLEUa0_aY&pp=ygUNbGV0J3MgcmFtIGl0IA%3D%3D
The Lakers beat the Supersonics! Also, Cube sounds kinda like a ballhog.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VtDM5jicRQ
You can’t be a ball hog if you got a triple double!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pnl1ulaG5k
It’s also the official song of getting ready for TANK BOWWWWWWWL!
Let’s get some Kurtis Blow up in this piece
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_shxzlTRK44&ab_channel=KurtisBlowVEVO
i mean come on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WwJ6OVSwkM&pp=ygUTYWNkYyBiaWcgYmFsbHMgc29uZw%3D%3D
That was actually going to be the banner song, but I held back on it so it could be part of a DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIzPbnIp2QM
Nice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bp2-c0szaV8
Only one possible first pick:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAJHDiO8Fr0
Edit: WAY TO NOT READ THE BOTTOM. Okay, one other first pick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO3cFz53vs8
Oh good a free for all…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWiQ6k4HCwo