Sexy Friday – 20240419

TGIF! It’s playoff season! Well, not today, but starting tomorrow anyway. Why yes, the hardwood footy play-ins are not playoff games you rube. Please ignore them and wait for the actual playoffs tomorrow.

Survival – Personal Edition

What low-rent, over-lookable advice can I deliver today? Oh, here’s one. Now that the pandemic is over, everyone gets the wonderful joy of going back to work. For some of you sad sacks, that also means a return of business travel. And some of that travel has you on the way to one of your customers in a totally sad sack and dull town. Here’s some tips to find some entertainment. (Non-sex division)

  • Ask the locals for recommendations. Start with the front desk at your hotel. Normally I would refer you to the concierge or porter, but this is a dull town for a reason and they don’t have those. Let them know you want a taste of the “local flavoUr” but not their spouse specifically, unless they’re into that. At any rate, try to find at least one locally cherished restaurant, meal, bar, or other tourist attraction that the town is proud of.
  • This is optional, but also fun. In a dull town, you might be remembered for your antics. As such, give yourself an alias. You could be the Bill Brasky of this town, albeit under a different alias. Doing this will hopefully help the more inhibited of you to let your hair down and have some real fun in town.
  • And yes, that means get out of your comfort zone. Do things you normally don’t do. Using your alias should help and also knowing you’re never coming back to this dull town again.
  • Still bored? Break a deck of cards and play solitaire with yourself.

Finally, most of this advice should be avoided if you’re spending time with business associates. Then just skip to the cards and play some poker.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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Brick Meathook

Who’s still out there? I’m still here (listening to Elvis Presley’s debut album).

Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

The Umayyad mosque in Damascus. This was damaged a couple years later in the civil war

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Last edited 7 months ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

All gone

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Doktor Zymm

Wow, I was an ignorant college kid, had no idea the Limelight was basically open on sufferance when I was there. Was well after the trials had started, and convictions had already happened, but a couple years before they were permanently shut down. Then it became a trendy gym for a while. Gross.
I guess it’s a chinese restaurant now? I’m okay with that I guess. No wonder kids today are so dumb, they don’t have anywhere to go and be dumb in a contained (nawt safe, just contained) setting

Brick Meathook

What the hell are you talking about?

Doktor Zymm

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Limelight

Went there when I went to NYU, 99-03

Brick Meathook

One day I’ll tell you about the Tompkins Square Riots.

Doktor Zymm

Best purse attachment flashlight, but nawt best overall

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This is my favorite flashlight:

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Brick Meathook

This is my second-favorite flashlight:

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Doktor Zymm

Are the squares on that mat centimeters? If not please include banana for scale

Brick Meathook

That’s an American mat.

Brick Meathook

Same mat, flip side

https://ibb.co/wLTXyNM

Doktor Zymm

Look too small to be inches, but it’s possible men have given me a warped sense of size over the years

Brick Meathook

Each line is a half-inch. Both sides.

Doktor Zymm

Thank you, exactly what I wanted to know. So 1.257 cm 😋

Last edited 7 months ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

Excellent but nawt my favorite

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Doktor Zymm

I have a few flashlights I really like, my sentimental favorite is still one of my maglites, although multiple others have surpassed in terms of functionality and not sure which of those is my favorite

Brick Meathook

Maglites are obsolete now as optimal illumination devices, but you can still crack somebody’s skull with one of those.

Doktor Zymm

Oh yeah, gotta use the cop hold for maximal force is you’re wielding one of the D-battery models.

Hence me saying sentimental fav

2Pack

I use a headlamp most of the time now for it’s hands free functionality.

yeah right

Kel Lite. The proper flashlight for when you need a flashlight to knock a motherfucker out.

Brick Meathook
Doktor Zymm

For the past few months I’ve been thinking I want another tattoo. Maybe it’s weird but I’ve been thinking of inner leg or outer hip, somewhere people I’m not intimate with are unlikely to see it. I guess most of my tats are kind of like that nowadays, since I mostly cover up because of the daystar. I myself forget about the one behind my ear

SonOfSpam

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Doktor Zymm

My only one with text and it’s spelled correctly

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Doktor Zymm

Man, I need to moisturize

Doktor Zymm

Damn skippy

Doktor Zymm

As long as I’m sharing, here’s the other leg

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Doktor Zymm

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HR Giger, Birth Machine
Swiss biomechanical artist
Did the design for Alien

Last edited 7 months ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

He also designed the VIP room at the Limelight, which, humorously enough, was also where they had the goth night at about a third of the cost of the front door

Doktor Zymm

“oh, junior here? He was fired into my vagina from a gun. No, not a real gun, that probably would kill me, but have you ever heard of metaphors?”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I get that you like Ouzo, but what’s the G stand for?

Doktor Zymm

When people who have no idea ask what that is I’m gonna tell them it’s my custom ouzo brand now. Thank you!

Brick Meathook
SonOfSpam

I know a kid who could have used a fizzy lifting drink

Brick Meathook

DFO is my favorite website, but I’m killing it tonight over in the comments section of the Wall Street Journal.

/I just made all that up

Brick Meathook

I lied. I am actually killing it in the WSJ comments, particularly in discussions about future rate changes.

Doktor Zymm

I’m not in the WSJ comments, but I assume you are THAT GUY

Brick Meathook

I assume you mean the non-weirdo guy

Doktor Zymm

Considering who is typically in comment sections, yes, 100%, although I suspect you are not averse to a tad bit of trolling

Brick Meathook

I never troll, Zymm. It’s beneath me.

Doktor Zymm

More power to you then

yeah right

The NOP and Kings are playing ball!

I humbly submit a new rule for the Association.

Before the game starts, inspect every player on every team for their nails.

Fingernails I mean.

Valencunis has deep ass lacerations on his shoulder from somebody else.

Remember a story where, it may have been Lamar Odom who said he sharpened his nails before big games.

They need to check that shit man because getting slashed by nails playing hoops fucking sucks.

Pau Gasol has scars to this fucking day.

Treat it like MMA.

Inspect the hands before the game starts.

That is all.

For now.

Doktor Zymm

How are they gonna do coke in style if you make em cut off their coke nails?

yeah right

You make an astute point.

Senor Weaselo

Well, they won’t be lighting the beam for now.

Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

If you average these out it was the version I was looking for
https://youtu.be/IMX9XIs9V04

Doktor Zymm

And today I learned these are different songs!
https://youtu.be/96XJl7mxDtc

Brick Meathook

Here’s your great-grandmother in front of some other guy’s car:

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Doktor Zymm

So how ugly was my great-grandfather and how did he marry her if he didn’t even have a decent car?

2Pack

Ciao Ayo. The ladies in picture 8 look like they could use a hand dealing with that snack tray. So I’m there for them.
Another strange town – where’s the action tip is the old standard parking lot recce. The good places attract cars full of people. Hopefully a few ladies in skimpy attire.

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Brick Meathook

That’s not your sister or anything, is it? Otherwise, uh, can you give me her number?

2Pack

867-5309

Doktor Zymm

If I don’t get any of this round of job interviews, think I might move back to Chicago and just fly out here every week and camp for horseback riding. Flying out weekly and parking/campsite fees net out to less than my rent if I play it right, and my rent is actually super cheap for the Bay

2Pack

Pioneer woman. And thrifty to boot.
Thats could work. Do you have a place there to store the camping gear. Gear is the key to comfort you know.

Doktor Zymm

I would leave my car here, so plenty of room for gear and it’s a hatchback so camping patio as well! I miss camping, so would fulfill a desire as well as being economical

2Pack

Sound plan.
/ fumbles around looking for his rubber stamp

Senor Weaselo

“Have you tried riding a boulder? The pioneers would ride them for miles.” -S. SquarePants, Bikini Bottom

Doktor Zymm

Never trust anyone so invested in pants

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

This is the scene from Apollo 13 where Charles Bronson says the famous movie quote “This LEM ain’t big enough for the two of us.”

Doktor Zymm

Looks like campari, which, contrary to popular belief, is nawt actually poison

ArmedandHammered

I was thinking maraschino cherry juice.

Doktor Zymm

Only slightly poison

ArmedandHammered

Let us know if any potholes open up on the tracks, buildings or bridges collapse on the tracks, or if any non Chinese person is allowed to win.

Doktor Zymm

Fun!

Doktor Zymm

I thought pole sitting was one of those wacky 1920s fads

Senor Weaselo

Tim Meadows in Mean Girls does more as a Southsider with a bat than the 2024 White Sox.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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WCS

“BWAHHhh….”

Doktor Zymm

People are switching to flip phones to try and combat their smart phone addictions. Meanwhile sometimes I leave my phone in the car and don’t notice until hours later.

(posted from my pkb phone)

Senor Weaselo

Kosherphones are absolutely a thing. I have no idea what makes them kosher as all phones should be parve, right?

Brocky

This reminds me….

I’m visiting new york again next month

Sharkbait

I might be as well for a quick down and back for dinner.

Senor Weaselo

Depending when in the month my Mondays and Wednesday evenings may be available, Tuesday/Thursday/Friday I work. Saturday nights are also doable, with Senorita Weaselo in tow (she works Saturdays and I drive her.)

Doktor Zymm

I should make an app where an online religieaux of your choice will bless your phone for you. Halalphones, Jainphones, Hindu vegetarian phones, you name it!

Brick Meathook

When I think of 2Pack, blaxabbath, BugEyedBoo or the other Army guys, this is how I picture them:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mlr6m2AWskg

2Pack

Pretty much. Banking is not safe around us.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

Men will fight for six and a half minutes in an alleyway rather than try on their drifter friend’s sunglasses.

Brick Meathook
Brocky

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Brocky

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
Gumbygirl

I watched this, because I am high, and I like trains. My question is- weren’t people tagging in 1989? There was no graffiti on any of those cars.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe they had already come out with those killjoy anti-graffiti cars by then?

Brick Meathook

In Tehachapi Pass they will shoot a tagger in a New York minute.

Brick Meathook

Bakersfield and Mojave are the two ends of this pass.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thinking I might have to sue the Chicago Bulls for copyright infringement of That’s My Raiders!

Brocky

So this is how I find out they’re losing

Brocky

YOOOOO

Spoiler

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2Pack

I want to go to the beach so bad.

Brick Meathook
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s quite a feast in picture 8!

Food looks good too.

King Hippo

Man, to be judged in the harshest manner by two beauties like that. At the same time, no less.

Sharkbait

Yeah. The view isn’t half bad either

Brick Meathook
King Hippo

How much scotch tape you reckon they had to use on that?

Brick Meathook

None. The R-1830 is the most produced aviation engine in history. So rugged and reliable you could set your watch to it.

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Dunstan

Don’t be silly. It’s all ball bearings nowadays.

King Hippo

This week’s redhead seems like a real sweetie. I’d overlook her lack of a soul.

I have gone out of my comfort zone in lovely, flat, weird-ass Ohio. Yes, I ate chicken fingers for dinner. But I tried a place I knew NOTHING about, and trusted the insane line being a good sign.

Indeed, Raising Canes was quite good. Is this an Ohio specialty?

Fucking hate driving here, though. Google maps keeps dumping me onto these stupid rural non-freeway roads.

King Hippo

Louisiana? They didn’t even use seasoning salt on the fries (which were still good but that hardly belies a Cajun origin story).

In short, Ohio is a land of fat contrasts.

King Hippo

Zaxby’s has jumped the Miss’sip, though. The little map by my local has em in TX and UT now, should get to the Pacific soon enough.

King Hippo

What the heck is that? Sounds Mormon.

King Hippo

It was probably possum

ArmedandHammered

No you don’t, that is some greasy shit. This was even nastier than bear, and bear is nasty.

BugEyedBoo

I’ve eaten groundhog. Not craving for more.

Doktor Zymm

People think badger badger mushroom is a meme but it’s actually a recipe

BugEyedBoo

I think there are three Rax’s in Ohio, and that’s it. IMO it wasn’t any better or worse than Arby’s.

yeah right

Just read that Bojangles is opening 30 locations in California in 2025.

I’ll give that a day in court.

Doktor Zymm

Bo’ berry biscuit!

Gumbygirl

I got a raw chicken sandwich there once. They don’t
get a second chance, I can hold a fucking grudge!

BugEyedBoo

You order an extra tub of dip and dip the fries in the sauce.Raisin’ Cane’s is pretty good. They don’t mess around – they have chicken tenders, buns to turn the tenders into sandwiches, cole slaw, fries, garlic bread (?), and drinks. And that’s it.

ballsofsteelandfury

We have Raising Cane’s in LA.

Gumbygirl

I just read the other day In and Out is expanding to Washington. Hold on, they’s comin’!

yeah right

Yep. Got one right down the street from work in the Chargers Commons new development.

yeah right

Yeah, they’re only chicken strips, fries and Texas toast. I haven’t tried them yet but a lot of my employees have. The toast is kind of their thing.

BugEyedBoo

The toast is good.

Gumbygirl

There’s one in Palm Springs.

Senor Weaselo

There’s one in the lawlessness heathen wasteland of New York! I need to go.

/Sorry, there are three, plus two in Brooklyn and one in Flushing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s funny, “Raising Canes” would also have been a good title for this film.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Like, if it were told from Rachelle’s point of view.

Last edited 7 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Senor Weaselo

Wait, what’s the Hippo doing in Ohio, and has there been a Redshirt sighting?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

#8: What Rikki’s mornings would be like if he had infinity money.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Trump’s attorneys discussing trial strategy (artist’s conception):

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Game Time Decision

And possibly change his diaper or underroos