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How Are We Doing? Saturday Morning Footy Open Thread

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Teh Hippo asked me to fill in this weekend as he is driving to the Great White North. Considering he’s from North Carolina, that could just as well be Virginia.

Anyhow, I’ve got some things on my mind after this week’s Champions League Quarterfinals Second Legs:

  • Real – Man City should have been the Final. It was a great two-game tie and it’s fair that neither team lost.
  • Penalties are a BIIIIIITCH…
  • No English teams left. And you ask why I don’t have England as a favourite in Euro 2024…
  • PSG – Dortmund will be great fun to watch. If Mbappe can somehow win the trophy with PSG, that will be a great achievement. And then join Real? As Don T says, “Uf!”
  • Go Bayern!

I like to check back at the end of the EPL season to see how well we did at predicting stuff. Call it an accountability thing or call it a competitive thing. Now, the season is not over yet, but I thought I’d check how we are doing. Here is a handy dandy table showing the results so far plus how we predicted them:

ACTUALHippo LitreBalls
Man City111
Arsenal333
Liverpool444
Aston Villa10712
Tottenham652
Newcastle566
Man U225
West Ham81110
Chelsea9811
Brighton71010
Wolves141314
Fulham1199
Bournemouth 131417
Crystal Palace171513
Brentford12167
Everton 191218
Nottingham201719
Luton Town152020
Burnley181816
Sheffield U161915

BTW, yes, I screwed up and put two teams at 10th. I suck.

As you can see, we are pretty close on many of our picks but there are still a lot of games left to play. This will change A LOT.

On the bright side for the EPL, it’s only a minimum of two years until Wrexham joins the party! Wrexham clinched automatic promotion last week and will be in League One next year. Two more promotions and they are in the Premier League!

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Doktor Zymm

The world’s largest wave pool is located in Bangkok, that’s a point in favor of moving there I think

2
Gumbygirl

Ooh, I just looked it up! It’s got some fun looking slides. And there’s an amusement park too, with some big coasters.

2
Gumbygirl

This is the pool I could walk to when I was a kid. When it opened in 1925, it was the largest swimming pool in the world. My mother was there on opening day, she was one. It’s closed now, but it was open for 93 years.

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Gumbygirl

Ligonier Beach.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I am also moving spawn today. However, it’s just between apartments and not home. Did move other spawn home from school on Thursday, so tired of being tired from moving.
Guess how much was packed before the parents arrived. If you said nothing, you’d be correct.

3
scotchnaut

It’s 4:20pm on 4/20! Big whoop…

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Gumbygirl

I have been celebrating all day!

3
scotchnaut

This is the tune that the Senior team decided would be playing after wins. The Senior team was really good and our Junior team went undefeated. I hate this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GwjfUFyY6M&ab_channel=KoolAndTheGangVEVO

2
Gumbygirl

I get it, the songs that have been co-opted by sports are the most annoying. I’m a Stones fan, but I really despise Start Me Up.

2
Mr. Ayo

I LIKE IT! LET’S GO KRAKEN!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M5nat8OoPk

1
ArmedandHammered

Yep. It has not helped in the endeavor of escaping my bean bag chair and obtaining snacks. Hmm pizza rolls.

2
Gumbygirl

I made a ginoUrmous brunch today, and I was as high as a kite. You can do this! Pizza rolls sound good, go get you some, Action Boy!

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Doktor Zymm

Today l learned that people are injecting salmon sperm into their faces as a beauty treatment

1
Mr. Ayo

Buddy is going to be upset that salmon was the correct answer.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– [door flies open]

WIFE: [gasps]

RESEARCH SCIENTIST: No, no, honey! It’s for work! I swear!

– [fifteen months and two successful grant applications later] –

RESEARCH SCIENTIST: [going over some results tables in Excel] Well I’ll be damned…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly, after being informed what is for “lunch” today (artist’s conception):

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“When I steam the pillowcases, they get dry…” – the Dr. Mrs., who refuses to let BIG CHEMISTRY dictate how the phase transitions of water work in our household

3
ArmedandHammered

How does she work that into her busy vacuuming schedule?

1
scotchnaut

Current Status: Settling in to watch the 30 minute-long gun battle at the end of Open Range.

0
Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut

Skull Boy’s Problem: He wants to hunt partridge but the season doesn’t start until fall.

Solution: He rekindles an old friendship with a 1st Nation buddy. (they can hunt whatever, wherever they want)

Here we are living in the here and now and he’s manipulating relationships like it’s 2035.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m trying to imagine a nerdy/dorky 1st Nation dude that gets taken advantage of by the cooler more popular kids and I just can’t.

[taps head]

It’s all John Redcorn in here.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BTW, yes, I screwed up and put two teams at 10th. I suck.

I refuse to disparage any man who set his sights on not one but two 10’s. The worst I will say about him is that he is “overambitious”. But I will not judge one who dares to dream.

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Mr. Ayo

I was also going to make a joke about the two 10s, but one of them is actually 10th.

But, as noted, there’s still a few weeks left of the run in and a lot can and will change.

1
Mr. Ayo

95 BILLION?

Can’t imagine what we’d spend if we’re in a war of our own.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t laughed that hard in…well, about 24 hours. But it was a very long time before that that I laughed this hard.

3
scotchnaut

“Kiss my whole asshole” sung in melody (in the background) may never be topped.

3
yeah right

Guess me and a couple of the granddaughters are going to have a Pedro day. Cabrillo marine museum, Korean Friendship Bell, Pt. Fermim park, maybe Sunken City. Should be fun.

Life ain’t all bad when eldest granddaughter is the designated driver.

5
WCS

The grand rights play their version of “Gene’s Hairy Mole” to decide who has to load passed-out pap right in the SUV.

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Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
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yeah right

I was going to stick with an edible for now.

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scotchnaut

Timely goal is timely.

/Doku has had two very good games in a row, too bad the last one didn’t end with a W

Last edited 2 years ago by scotchnaut
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Horatio Cornblower

I know Chelsea got well and truly fucked on a non-call on a Grealish handball, but come on, if you’re going to do this you cannot expect to win anything.

https://twitter.com/AbsoluteBruno/status/1781726242825248855

2
Mr. Ayo

Truly baffling. What the hell was he expecting to do there?

1
Horatio Cornblower

This is going to go down as one of life’s great mysteries.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think the keeper guessed correctly to the right, forcing him left, and by the time he was ready to rip there were defenders in the way. So he tried to dump his mess in his teammate’s lap with that sad pass.

None of this is meant as an excuse, of course. That was just pathetic.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just watched the handball. What’s the point of VAR if it doesn’t catch stuff like this? Might as well use a Magic 8-ball instead.

https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1c8vidy/chelsea_penalty_shout_against_manchester_city_55/

2
scotchnaut

Eight fouls on Chelsea. This isn’t hockey, laddy boys!

1
Senor Weaselo

Big sports night in the big city. John Sterling Day, Knicks Game 1, (I guess the Islanders but who really cares), and meanwhile… I’ll be playing a contender for most depressing piece of music ever. PLAY IT AT MY FUNERAL IF I EVER DIE.

https://youtu.be/MlpNB0WeQaQ?si=nBt-L8iPVlQ4kFPO

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Gumbygirl

Wow, that is grim. I thought Strauss was the Happy Waltz King? He must have been in his Blue Period.

1
Senor Weaselo

There are quite a few better than you, Lutes.

/Gotta get my Fire Emblem jokes in while I can.

1
Cecil Rhodes

Martin Prince’s Lutes — truly a Championship calibre side!

4
Fronkenshteen

Is the plan for Rob & Ryan to shepherd Wrexham back to top-league football and then sell the team to a trustworthy ownership group?

2
WCS

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Rob & Ryan?

3
Senor Weaselo

As opposed to Andy, who wrecks ham.

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Horatio Cornblower

The only plan they ever talked about was getting Wrexham back into League Two. Now they’re in League One. If I had to guess they’ll look to stabilize at that level and maybe bring in some more financial partners/firepower for an eventual run at more promotion.

But that’s just a guess. They stopped talking to me after my “Ban Those Fucking Canucks From Buying Up Connecticut Real Estate” campaign. Touched a nerve with that one, apparently.

1
yeah right

Not so fast on the Wrexham promotion. Getting out of League one is not a given. Getting out of the Champions League is almost bloody impossible.

IF you get to the big show, staying up is fucking lunacy.

I would know and know very fucking well.

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Flying back to Murrica shortly, please have the car waiting.

7
BrettFavresColonoscopy

(AC should be available)

1
Gumbygirl

Are you going to be disinfected first? You gotta get rid of those MAGA spores!

1
Horatio Cornblower

Faced with the hated DFO conundrum: I need to get going and run some errands, but I also need to put in pants to run said errands.

Truly a wretched situation.

6
ballsofsteelandfury

Clearly, the answer is clear.

1
BeefReeferLives

Yup.

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3
Horatio Cornblower

I don’t have the ass to carry that off.

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Doktor Zymm

I too must attire myself in the hated pants soon

2
scotchnaut

Do what I did-wear shorts in 6 degree Celsius weather during errands and be jeered by one of my wife’s aunts while in the grocery store.

4
Senor Weaselo

Are the errands John Sterling Day?

2
Horatio Cornblower

I wish. I had to go the bank, the gym, and get some groceries to tide us over a couple of meals.

I avoided the pants conundrum by putting on workout pants and calling it even.

1
Horatio Cornblower

(track pants, just to ensure none of you have to bleach your eyes at the thought of me ruining Lycra for everyone)

1
Gumbygirl

I had to wear pants yesterday, but at least it was for a just cause. I went to a couple of wineries with my SIL.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

No excuse. Could have worn shorts.

Unless there was a dress code.

And then you need to question what kind of winery has a dress code.

1
Horatio Cornblower

That’ll do Luton Town.

That’ll do.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Very interested to see what happens to Wrexham going forward. From my (limited) understanding, there is a huge jump in financial obligation/necessary resources to get from League One to the Championship, and I’m not sure Rob & Ryan have those resources. Do they try to solidify the team as a perennial League One member? Do they take on new partners to boost resources. Do they (justifiably), tell Wrexham “we’ve done what we came to do,” sell the team and make one hell of a profit?

Truly, the mind boggles.

4
Doktor Zymm

They’re pretty emotionally invested at this point, would be surprised if they sell

1
Horatio Cornblower

My personal guess is “stay at League One and solidify”

3
yeah right

Ah! The Sunderland Method.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Bold strategy of Sunderland to take that approach from the opposite direction.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was under the impression that Ryan Reynolds has a *lot* of resources these days.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

And he knows how to leverage them really well.

I don’t think resources will be a problem.

0
Horatio Cornblower

There’s “resources” and then there’s “sufficient resources to build and maintain an upper-level FA franchise”

Reynolds could be, (and might be), a billionaire and still not meet that criteria.

1
WCS

The Garbage Pail cousins from Cleveland are arriving soon.

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5
2Pack

Now you just cool yer G string there Marika. The way Napoli has been playing and with Empoli fighting off relegation, a win is not going to be easy tonight.

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1
Don T

The two most notable things when I stepped out of the work bunker this week:
1. Real 🤬 Madrid is unstoppable. Annoying, but true.
2. 😂
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9
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve seen it before but still how dare you.

3
King Hippo

Brian Sipe. Holy shitsnacks.

4
Horatio Cornblower

Sonny Jurgensen?

1
2Pack

Every Bears fan: We do in on the ground… 4 yards and a cloud of dust… Old Skool!
/ wipes nose on dirty sleeve cuff

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[points at Sonny Jurgensen]

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2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(Actually, he’s not! He’s still kickin’ at 89 years old!)

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Fitzpatrick!

0
Mr. Ayo

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2
BeefReeferLives

“None” Sweet Jebus Christ that’s harsh…

Fuckin’ Bears. the cursed Cain of the NFL…

1
Gumbygirl

I’m kind of surprised by Dan Marino. The Dolphins score a lot of points with Tua, but I guess it’s mostly short runs inside the red zone. But still, seems weird.

1
2Pack

https://www.facebook.com/share/Rt1B94c4fahzpyBb/

I may have to go check out a game. It’s been over 40 years since I saw the Milano Rhino’s play our battalion team. We killed them but I suspect the quality has gotten better. My youngest daughters fiancee played in a feeder league for a bit.

2
scotchnaut

Can I get the recipe for the Frogs Legnano? Sounds delicious!

2
2Pack

I have no explanation for the naming protocols around here.

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