Well, hopefully everyone’s rested up for playoff overtime hockey. Either that or resetting the “It has been X days since Rashee Rice has gotten into a new legal issue” board. Especially as we’re in the post-draft, post-free agency doldrums. It’s all conjecture and posturing, the least newsworthy news, unless you’re sports talk radio. Which we are not. So fuck that noise.
In fun news, the Japanese restaurant that hosted MarbleCon (among the other things I just casually forgot to write about) has make a new roll in honor of the Crazy Cat’s Eyes—lightly fried whitefish, asparagus, crabmeat and eel, rolled in seaweed with miso and spicy mayo—meant to look like one of the cat’s eye marbles.
Okay then, what’s on?
More hockey!
Bear in the Woods vs. Less Crazy Cat’s Eyes (BOS vs. FLA, Bruins lead 1-0—7:30, ESPN)
Gradus Suavitatis vs. Orcanuckistan (EDM vs. VAN, Game 1—10:00, ESPN)
Kinda caring about basketball?
Multi-Stage Fitness Test vs. JB & the Metal Bat Crew (if they don’t all die, I swear) (IND vs. NYK, Knicks lead 1-0—8:00, TNT)
And also other things:
Baseball:
Snakes Alive vs. Elly & Friends (AZ vs. CIN, 6:40, FS1)
Not a ton going on football-wise, but things’ll get better at that, we swear. In the meantime, there’s apparently a guy hoping the Thunder win the championship, where he’d have a $100 three-champion pay off $1.7M (the first two legs were the Rangers winning the World Series and the Chiefs winning the Super Bowl). I hope he doesn’t get it on account of 1) my team’s still in it and 2) fuck the Vichy Sonics on principle of being the Vichy Sonics.
On the LAX to SLC flight I asked for a scotch and it was a brand I’ve never heard of. It tasted like gasoline; I believe it was refined by Exxon or Chevron.
I gagged on it, but I finished it. It was terrible.
They came back and asked if I wanted another one.
“Sure” I said.
I’m building a bar from complimentary mini bottles. Mostly Buffalo Trace, but also a couple JW Red Label and Gordon’s Gin
You should call the bar “The Frequent Flier”
United? Glenfarclas. Delta? I think they only have Dewars which I know you know. American? Pretty sure they have zero scotches. Frontier? Give up.
I’m done drinking in Utah.
On to Baltimore!
Skates just tied it up
And now lead. Wow
This is a skate. Good for them!
lol Eulers
lol loser
Far be it for me to praise a Yankee, but Stanton hitting a HR at 119.9 mph is really fucking badass. Dude is built different (and a bit fragile sadly).
Also, I feel like I used “far be it” wrong somehow, but I don’t care much because beer
No, that’s the proper usage. Always remember, Pooh, that you’re smarter than you think!
Thanks, and bother.
Skinner falls down, puck trickles out of the trapezoid, penalty. Brilliant.
I legit think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen that happen and get called
Words. Those are words.
It’s a Times Square sex thing.
How many times have I watched the Vincent Trocheck game winner today? A lot. The answer is a lot.
I’m not sure if Kevin Weekes in that purple suit looks more like Grimace or Barney the Dinosaur
Josh Hart (thanks, not X!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMAYAMmFlXM
Credit to the Knicks crowd, they made that game a lot more fun.
Quite the effort by the Bruins tonight. Not sure why they even bothered to show up at the rink.
Damn, that ended up breaking the streak.
Who does The Canadia want in the Drill Baby Drill/Ice BC Dicks Derby?
Leafs. Duh.
Can’t wait for the Leafs to run it back with a different coach and expect the same result.
Well, I guess when it comes to the estimated gentlelady from the Commonwealth of Georgia, the empress has no clothes.
(mental image of Majorie Taylor Greene naked)
And now I’m gay.
Release the Edit privileges, Uniparty Elitiests!
I just boarded a flight from LAX to Salt Lake City and Jeopardy! host Ken Jennings is sitting in front of me.
Loudly say, “Who is the host of Jeopardy?”
I’m going to keep kicking the back of his seat.
He has it coming, the smug little prick!
Ask him why he ducked me and Horatio.
NAWT FAHHH! NO ONE UNDERSTAHHS ARE SUFFERING!
This match needs more fighting.
148 penalty minutes! Damn!
Someone on the Bruins needs to ends Tkachuk’s career on Friday.
Doing my quarterly restart of my work laptop. This should go well.
I’m sitting in the Delta Club at LAX right now getting hammered before my 7:30PM flight. The great part is I’m the pilot and I don’t have to pay and I can boss everyone around.
Don’t forget those pills for maximum flight fun
Lt. Blow is my copilot. By which I mean cocaine. No EEOC crap, ok?
Do a barrel-roll.
I’ve been around for a few years and I have a pretty good education, but I have never once heard of a fucking brain worm.
Ear worm? Yes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Xm2ab3qfZY&pp=ygUcc291dGggcGFyayBpJ20gc2FpbGluZyBhd2F5IA%3D%3D
“Worms ate a big chunk of my brain, so vote for me for president!” This simulation we’re living in is getting stupider by the minute. I’m gonna go smoke some weed.
I know the Bengals have Alex Karras’s son as Center, but by the looks of it, the Seahawks have Mongo’s son in to tryout as QB.
Germany!
Maybe it’s a Make-A-Wish thing?
My work e-mail is “transitioning to the cloud” Friday night, meaning I will be completely without e-mail for like 18 hrs…if everything goes WELL.
Plus then I have to install new apps for my Samsung phone and tablet…fucking eat all the shit, May 2024.
Have some consideration for the poor IT folks spending their Friday night and entire weekend doing this work. I fucking hate those weekends.
oh yeah, I really focus my ire on management for doing overhauls like this. Can’t we just buy more server farm whatevers??
(I really, REALLY no understand how data works)
Yeah, don’t bother worrying about it. No one’s paying you to figure out how and where to host email, for good reason.
“AIN’T NO WAY IN HAYULL DAT MY EMAILS ARE GUNNA TRANSITION! NOT IN NORTH-BY-GOD CACKALACKY, NO SUH, THIS WILL NOT STAND!”
Curious to see if the refs will bend over backwards on behalf of Indiana given how badly they shafted them at the end of Game 1.
Another (non-Nova or OG) Knick will mysteriously get injured. Let’s say… Deuce.
Haven’t seen Brunson for a while, hope you didn’t jinx him…
This is why I said Deuce!
Biden says he will stop sending bombs and artillery shells to Israel if they launch major invasion of Rafah
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/08/politics/joe-biden-interview-cnntv/index.html
“major” invasion, huh.
the last time “biden” and “major” were in the same story someone got bit in the ass
(miss hearing about that dog biting people)
Someone send that dog to the Isreali War Cabinet. We can cut through Gaza to clean up Hamas on the way out.
Then maybe catch up with Kristi Noem when she’s unarmed, like at the airport or something. See how tough she is without one of her precious guns.
Poor Diamond Joe is in an absolutely thankless position here. There’s no easy or right answer, for a situation that’s massively fucked up (even my Middle Eastern standards).
Yup. You can’t risk playing hardball with Netanyahu without losing voters. You can’t risk waiting for Israel to raze or annex Gaza without losing voters.
I’d make a Bay of Pigs joke here but it wouldn’t really be kosher.
Only hope is for the Israeli people to get tired of the war.
It really makes you think. Specifically it makes me think, “Hmm, do I count as a war profiteer considering the couple shows I did that were for some sort of Israeli humanitarian efforts?”
Plus, Netanyahu is an untrustworthy fuckweasel. Joe knows, and Bibi knows he knows.
I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the strategy was to draw the conflict out (to keep the campus weirdo protests going), while doing JUST enough feints to keep Biden sweet. That way, he maxes out his chances to get his idiot sockpuppet Murrikan Fuhrer back.
There is absolutely fuckshit that can be done, other than what IS being done, that doesn’t blow the Demmycratic coalition to smithereens. Go look at the polling numbers on American Jews’ views of these protests. Can’t win without the Jewish vote, in a vain attempt to get the “I want MY PONY” campus vote back (nothing he does will materially improve that situation, he can only rake step).
Israel has done enough to win. They’ve proven they can destroy Palestine if they wanted to. They’ve proven they can defend against Iran.
All they need to do is tell Palestine to disavow Hamas, renounce violence and return the hostages alive or dead and this is over. We can return to the Two State Solution later but Palestine needs to earn that back.
Now I’m going to wait for Emma Stone and Anya Taylor-Joy to drop by, because if I’m talking about stuff unlikely to happen, I shoot for the moon.
Biden’s messenging on the “two state” inevitable, however difficult, solution has been outstanding.
Like any other of his foreign policy successes, he gets no credit for it.
If this was 2016 Biden, this election would be over and Trump would be in Russia begging for asylum from Daddy Vladdy.
You give too much credit to the American electorate but yes
If Bush could win twice again Captain Charisma
I and II, Vintage Biden could’ve also won.
“I support and will defend Israel’s right to exist. What I cannot and will not support is an attack that kills thousands of innocent women and children while also razing their homes and infrastructure, all in pursuit of a goal that cannot be accomplished.”
I dunno man, seems like a pretty easy position to take.
It’s a shame no one has found a reason to deport Marchand.
The news cycle today is incredibly weird.
Which country’s government did you overthrow this time, Brick?
(crossing fingers – hoping for America)
Which one do you want?
Not any of those desert ones.
Media: “Biden is old, he has a malfunctioning brain, inflation is high, there are at least two World War 3 powder kegs with the fuses lit, and the only Trump case that is going to happen this year makes ‘My Cousin Vinny’ look like ‘A Few Good Men’. This is causing the American public to consider giving another chance to Pres—“
Marge Greene: “I WANT THE ATTENTION!”
I figured it was because we could put RFK Jr.‘s brain worm on the list of things I’d vote for over Agent Orange.
The brain worm is the king of today’s weird news.
I mean, nothing that weirdo fuckhead could say would be newsworthy to me. Somebody who thinks vaccines make you retarded…will believe absolutely anything.