Look, there is just one Prem fixture of consquence today, and it’s the Early Bird – City of Men away to Mighty Whitey (7:30, USA). Unless Very on the Beach Fulham get a shock result (or Out of Gas Spurs midweek), the Title race is realistically over.
But other stories merit one’s attention, at least in glancing.
Continental footy at midweek was intense, insane, and wildly chaotic. Footy at its most compelling, even if it did give us the Real Cuntfaces of Madrid in yet another final. The path to get there…was sommet else and then some. And don’t count Dortmund out in a one-off final. They are confident and peaking.
Speaking of…the bollocks on Still-Somehow-Uber-Invincible Bayer Treyverkeusen – in the hope leg of their semifinal with Roma, they went down to two fair-but-soft pennos. This made it 2-2 on aggregate, so nervy on multiple levels. As you’ve all likely heard by now, they hadn’t lost a single game all season, in ANY of their three competitions (Bundesliga, Zooropa, Pokal – German Cup).
Out of nowhere, a bizarre OG put them within sight of the final. They clinched the Bundesliga weeks ago, and play a 2nd division opponent in the domestic cup final. A decent enough Atalanta side would stand in their way, but that’s not exactly a daunting obstacle. This happened with maybe 7 minutes of Normal Time to see out.
Yet they went balls to the wall, risking a major European final in order to keep their match record unblemsihed. And they equalized with basically the final kick of stppage time.
These cheeky fucks are away to minnows Bochum on Sunday (1:30 EST, ESPN+) and worth a look. FWIW, they would remain unblemsihed/Full Invincible if they lost either cup final on penaties – because that technically would be a Drawn result. But it would end the Treyverkeusen moniker. Would you really bet against them, at this point?
Meanwhile, the EFL smartly is marketing its Championship playoffs properly, with leg 1 of both semifinals this Sunday, kicking off in rapid succession before the lone Prem fixture (Men Untied/Gooners, 11:30 on Peacock). It will be a stream-only day, with #6 Norwich hosting #3 with DOOM hanging over them like Sword of Damacles Leeds (7:00, ESPN+) and #5 West Brom hosting 4 seed Sham Town (9:15, ESPN+).
Leeds clear have the best side, but the least momentum and belief. Norwich have to feel a bit like playing with house money, and will look to press their advantage early and often. If Leeds do show well against the Canaries, then they will switch into their borrowed/stolen WBA shirts – because Sham Town are 100% their bogey side. They absolutely cause Leeds to shit their pants. Perhaps the leading reason why Leeds set a points record for non-auto promotion teams, while sweeping #1 Leicester and #2 Ipswich – both home and away. Their support would and do say – Leeds, That.
Very much worth watching. Enjoy the fun while it lasts!
It got super warm while I was away! Horseback riding this morning, called my mom a day early, then flipped my mattress and swapped to my summer bedding. Time to sit on my butt and eat some strawberries!
Welcome home Dok.
lol. lmao.
John Candy is beloved here and there and everywhere but somehow his turn in JFK never gets mentioned. Is this off the record, Daddio?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PSXQJ9jujk&ab_channel=TheStochasticBrother
That Skenes kid for Pittsburgh is making his first start against the Cubbies today. Fucker has some serious gas. Routinely hitting 100 with his fast ball. Has a real quick pace too. Kind of Scherzer like.
Fuck him. Let’s go Cubbies!
I knew you didn’t like me, but don’t take it out on him.
if by “quick pace” you mean “on pace for tommy john by mid august, like all young pitchers do now” then yes, quick pace
This being the Dirt Stillers, even if Skenes is good, he’ll never be healthy to pitch.
EDIT: You know this, with the Indy Indians.
According to Ryan Castellanos, they had to put down their family dog. So his brother observed it in a way only he can.
https://www.mlb.com/video/nick-castellanos-homers-3-on-a-fly-ball-to-right-center-field
Well, after a brief trip to my friend’s engagement party, I have to say I t’s good to still be at the (relative) kids table for a little longer. Until all my friends start having kids.
/Only one friend from HS who just had his second, one friend from college, and two different friends from grad school, with one of those being the infamous one—what, she’s still my friend even if we don’t talk as much now.
https://new.reddit.com/r/IASIP/comments/1cpbsgi/former_lions_qb_dan_orlovsky_looking_like_a/
Dan Orlovsky is the NFL’s golden god.
He always thinks outside the
endzonebox.One of the most successful UConn football products ever.
Let that sink in.
Dan needs his tools.
Of course the British guy is attracted to Gabby’s smile. You’re not getting teeth like that in Britain.
We’re not even through the introductions and it turns out I can, in fact, tear my eyes away from this.
Found a funny:
wizard driving a van with an airbrushed painting of a certified public accountant
USA has a show called ‘Love Undercover’ where 5 professional soccer players disguise their identities and try to find love with some not-at-all gold-digging women.
I’m not sure I can tear my eyes away from this.
Really wish I knew about Hans Gruber & The Die Hards last Monday.
https://twitter.com/skapunkintl/status/1788983469835530353
never would have guessed CT would have such a robust punk scene
Back in my high school days it was pretty significant. You had to be willing to travel to places like New Haven, Stamford, and, for reasons I’ll never fully understand, Enfield, but once you did that you could see a lot of national-level punk acts.
The regional CT punk bands though-
The Boarding School Straight A’s
Get Out My Face, Aerospace!
Pratt & Whitney & Dark & Nasty
The Prescott Bush Shavers
Median Home Sales
Remington Friends and Family Plan
New Haven Pizza Suckers
Eight Counties Zero Self-Awareness
/it goes on from there
OK, The Prescott Bush Shavers is gold.
Their opening act? The Washington Generals.
https://youtu.be/wCY59R4jnI0?si=YAezB830f7t0F85O&t=75
The premier Christmas band!
Au revoir, Luton Town. We hardly knew ye.
Every 7 to 8 years they pop by for a quick visit.
Nice of them to leave on their own.
They’re fine but a bit boring.
I hope Ross Barkley is waddling around the Championship with ’em next season. Already dreading the Toffee cohort who’ll want to “bring him home” this summer.
Every time I saw him he was fucking something up. Seems like a really good example of ‘million dollar talent, .10 head.’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mg9UzLq0hmA
Always fun to start your Saturday with a deposition because it’s the only day a witness that helps your case is willing to be deposed.
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever go to law school, kids.
and to think, we are considered the last graduating law skool generation to “have it good”
That timing might be the only thing I got right. Given the current number of available attorneys versus the current number of available jobs versus the soaring price of law school new attorneys that aren’t in the top 5-10% of their classes are pretty much fucked.
I think I left UConn with 50-60K in debt. That covered 3 years tuition and some of my living expenses. Sponging off my future wife and some part-time law firm jobs available to students covered the rest.
These days that 50-60 would cover tuition for one year. Forget living expenses. And the starting salaries available to attorneys has, I promise you, not also tripled or quadrupled during that time.
Which is why, despite having paid my debt off in 10 years without missing a payment and while definitely doing without a lot of things I’d have rather spent that money on, I fully support student loan forgiveness. Because a) the whole thing is becoming a bigger and bigger grift and b) despite playing one here, I’m just not that much of an asshole.
I had around 35-40K, I think. Paid it back in like 8+ years, but much of that was dumb luck and finally breaking into “Top 15%” range my 3L year.
America could use a Jubilee, if only there were “good faith” evangelicals willing to get on board with the campaign.
I just wish they would do free education before loan forgiveness, but that would make too much sense and would mostly benefit people who are too young to vote. Forgiveness means we can keep down the really poor poors by denying them any access to higher education and get a bunch of middle class votes by doing new rounds of foregiveness every decade or so when kids grow up and get responsible enough to vote
While you’re doing your deposition I’ll be watching big fat sweaty dudes in loincloths slam into each other.
https://www.usasumo.com/us-sumo-open/2024-us-sumo-open/
Here’s a Covid fallout story that will explain one reason why the price of certain goods has risen tremendously
Covid Happens: Lockdown comes into effect. A large number of transport drivers that are old or have kids choose to retire or find another occupation. (bad)
Federal Gov’t: Identifies the problem of the lack of drivers, establishes all kinds of subsidy programs so that folks can get their transport (called AZ) license to fill the void. (good)
Driving Schools: Filled to overflowing. To remedy this they push thru everyone much faster than they would have pre-Covid. (bad)
Drivers: Ill-prepared for any challenges outside of what they were taught in school which wasn’t very much. A sit-ton of accidents ensue. (bad)
Insurance Companies: Quickly react. Put into place outrageous fees for drivers under 25 with less than three years experience. (bad)
Businesses: Those employing these new drivers pass on this new expense to the consumer. (expected)
Consumers: Why did my frappe with free-trade snow leopard milk triple in price? (kill yourself)
Yes, price-gouging will always happen but the cost of transportation is spiraling upwards.
People just REALLY don’t understand logistics or the supply chain. Trying to explain (outside of DFO) just gets the messenger shot.
Tell me more about these snow leopard frappes.
“Yes, I’ve been getting tired of this one. A frappe is a coat, right?” – Kristi Noem, idly stroking her Dalmatian puppy fur coat
But where do Unions come into things
That’s 100% the other end of the horseshoe theory of complaints.
HURR-DURR! Late stage capitalism!!!1111
HURR-DURR! Union THUGS thanks NOBUMMER!!!1111
They certainly can’t blame the back up at the LA or Long Beach harbors any more.
I can look out my window and tell you that the container ships get moved right the fuck in and right the fuck out.
My theory is that after the year plus of pandemic losses companies are still gouging and playing catch up.
Ketchup.
My theory is that after the year plus of pandemic losses companies are still gouging and playing catch up
Perhaps others can weigh in but I think it’s most obvious in hotel room prices up here in The Canadia.
Having just stayed in a The Canadia hotel (near the UWO campus) that was basically straight out of 1970s Eastern Europe, for like $100 USD/night? Co-signed!
This doesn’t bode well for my planned trip to Montreal this summer.
Do something, Parliament!
Not sure if this is going to help but here we go!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBWH3OWfT2Y&ab_channel=BrownPriderFunk
Montreal was quite expensive when I went like 10-12 years ago. Can only imagine now.
Place had a balcony hot tub, though.
Can relate. The cost of my hotel room with the full-sized basketball court with on-demand Lawrence Moten has tripled in price in the last four years!
(in FARENESS, Hippo was trying desperately to get laid)
My only Montreal stories (as I’ve never been) are Senorita Weaselo’s misadventures at her McGill audition, starting with missing her train station, and continuing with realizing that the budget hotel she had booked was a budget hotel because it was frequented by those in the oldest profession.
https://twitter.com/RBReich/status/1777698591911350641
Fuckers are just begging for the guillotine.
That’s the end of any potential drama, outside of the Zooropa places/pecking order. Don’t worry baby, it’s gon’ be a’ight
Moving forward, if you’re in the Wawa/Chapleau area on Wednesday/Thursdays and you see a 20 year-old behind the wheels of a tractor trailer that’s my youngest skull fracture boy.
/How much did it cost to insure him? Far more than you think
Do you make him wear a bike helmet around?
[crosses fingers that we don’t see him in footage of the next Freedom Convoy]
/A few minutes later…
[sighs]
[puts even more money in tire fire investment portfolio]
Does the insurance cost more than the truck?
Thankfully, no.
Nice gol for the Bitter Hippoes
saw it at HT. DCL really is an underrated, class player. So unselfish, works his socks off.
Arsenal fans are taking it well on Elon Musk’s hellscape. Hey fuckos, you are depending on Fulham??? Maybe take more than one point off of them next time. Bahahahahahahaha. We beat yous and drew with yous a man short.
We are a charming bunch.
I’d guess it’s transferred anger over having to depend on Spurs.
Yeah, I was telling Litre over on the bird app that Spurs will lay down, quite literally, and allow Man City to score 8 goals before they do anything that would help Arsenal win a title.
Of course, Man City might score 8 goals no matter what Tottenham do, so it’ll be hard to tell if it’s done out of spite.
I watched that Leverkusen game this week and it was awesome. I love their fight.
I am enjoying this meme so much.
That virtual-reality goggles, “Spirit In the Sky” commercial where the old veteran pilots playfully relive their combat days is such an abortion I’ll bet they’re not allowed to run it in Texas.
I guess they edited out the parts where they scream out racist epithets at the Zero pilots?
A Das RAYCESS! Bugs Bunny marathon would be quite an experience.
Don’t fall down the “Racist Looney Tunes” YouTube rabbit hole.
It goes pretty deep.
I just mean I don’t think there WERE a lot of surviving groups of pilot buddies after most wars. Most military documentaries I’ve watched have portrayed the lives of combat pilots as unbearably terrifying and lonely, as most of them constantly lived in the shadow of death and lost almost everyone they got close to. The commercial just seems like a really unnecessary revision of that sacred history just to move product.
So. It’s all up to Spurs doing sommet maximally un-Spursy midweek. Even then, it will matter only if Arsenal take all the points from Men Untied tomorrow.
If it’s such a good idea to incorporate in Puerto Rico, why doesn’t everyone just do it?
Well, we know German copyright lawyers won’t go there.
Well, shit. I woke up for this?
Cameraman, you can do much better than panning to Noel fucking Gallagher after Man City scores.
Norwich isn’t a real team. Mighty Whitey has yoyoed and hasn’t played them in over 8 years.
Well, maybe there is a LITTLE drama still to come. I’d imagine that if Everton get so much as a point today, they’ll go into administration on Monday.
Am watching. What the fuck are Team knifey wearing??
So where was the side piece…
Italian Alps are beautiful!
huuuuuuuggggge….tracts of land
“THE GRAND TETONS ARE BEAUTIFULLER. USA! USA! USA!”
“My tits are down there”
“Yes, I know, but that burger is amazing!”
Me: “Are your tits covered in bacon and American cheese? I didn’t think so!”
Her: “Well, not yet.”
Me: [faints]
ah, you read about the #AndyReidOnlyFans thing too, eh?
/taking Viagra and a statin before disappointing her in so many ways.