Better Know a Macro-Euros Roundtable

King Hippo asked some MOAR knowledgeable, less-inebriated Lesser Footy enthusiasts to weigh in.  Our thoughts are as follows:

King Hippo:

Shempion – FRANCE – when in doubt, pick the Froggers.  I wanted to pitch the Dutch, but their group draw scares me.  In el SudURUGUAY – I am all-in on the cult of Bielsa. 

Surprise Package (PHRASING) – Going with MEXICO, even for good reasons (though Balls’ assessment gives me pause, see below).  Nobody has any expectations, but I suspect they at least make the quarters, coin flip for the semis.  On the continent?  ALBANIA.  Because why the fuck NOT Albania?  I do lots of drugs.

Sponge-worthy Performer – Oh man, gimme all the shares of Belgium’s JEREMY DOKU, the next City of Men breakout.  Down South, I will go with Colombia’s YERRY MINA, out of pure sentiment.

Kobe Beef – CANADIA – SoUrry, maple faithful.  Jesse Marsch will be an absolute disaster.  GERMANY will collapse under the host nation pressure.

Euro of Euros – As a new concept in my mind, I plan to treat this as a “championship belt” – but these two Euros happen concurrently, so URUGUAY beats France for the initial iteration.  Next Afrikan Euros champion gets their shot at Bielsa’s men, in an imaginary place and time TBD.

Ballsy:

Shempion – GERMANY. Home field advantage plus they’re a team on the rise. Copa: ARGENTINA. Messi retires from international soccer with one last trophy.

Surprise Package (PHRASING) – MEXICO. Because of how badly they’ll play. Expect one blowout loss.  Euro: ITALY. They’re back, baby!!

Sponge-worthy Performer – RODRIGO will have a hell of a tourney for Brasil.

Kobe Beef – MEXICO. They will suck gigantic balls.

Euro of Euros – Depends on venue. If in Europe, Germany. Anywhere else, Argentina.

Litre:

Shempion – Why do I think that with the world we live in finally England will win this thing and will be even more insufferable. Euro-America? Brasil will dominate, like run the table on these fools. I feel like we are moving into an amount of time (post Neymar) that they are just going to run people into the ground.

Surprise Package (PHRASING) – FREEEEEDDDOMMMMMMM , Scotland will get through to the next round and then get humped. Preddicion is that the tourney opener ends in a draw and the Krauts act reasonably. David Lee Roth’s favoUrite team Panama is tight defensively and will frustrate the fuck out of those in their grupo.

Sponge-worthy Performer – Vini Jr is going to boss the Copa. Just watch Mitrovic bang in 5 goals for the Serbs because sports gods hate me.

Kobe Beef –  I agree with Balls, Mexico is going to be very poor. They are using this as prep for the WC. Young players who are there just for the experience. In Europe the Danish will disappoint. They just don’t have the firepower that they used to.

Euro of Euros – English people are happy that they when the Brasil kicks the everloving shit out of them like 8 nil.

DonT:

Shempion – URUGUAY, presentado por Marcelo Bielsa. Not gonna even pretend to be aiming for objectivity here gimme a fucking break WOOOOOOO. tl dr, coo coo for El Loco y Los Charrúas. Can’t wait. As to the European Euros, uy. Mmm…. I’ve gone over the groups four times and no team jumps at me. If held at gun point ok… OK. TCHERMANY. Being the tourney host (and inclusive, ja), plus the last stop in the We Din’t Deserve Toni Kroos farewell tour is a power wash to the Qatar stank from the German squad.

Surprise Package (PHRASING) – Colombia. They are great, broadcasters will compare them to Brazil until nausea. España does not make it past the group stage in the European Euros, turning the country’s attention back to Real Madrid after a weird coupla weeks. CANADA will make it out of group.

Sponge-worthy Performer – Luis Díaz (COL, unnamed EPL team), has himself a dynamite South American Euro. And I will be rooting for Romania to bring in the noise in Germany. Venezuela will smash to the playoffs.

Kobe Beef – MEXICO, I will not pile on. Also, the goodwill toward Argentina. Blech. After seeing Messi hawking Lay’s and Michelob Ultra, I say enough. Boo.

Euro of Euros – Uruguay @ Germany is abandoned (fans riot after running out of Palestinian and Israeli flags to burn).

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Beerguyrob

I am currently on a break from one union meeting and awaiting the start of a different meeting on Zoom.

Barney shoots self.gif
Mr. Ayo

STRIKE!

ballsofsteelandfury

On a fucking Saturday???

scotchnaut

If you’re not getting paid a premium your union sucks balls.

Gumbygirl

.

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Wakezilla

It’s mind boggling to me that game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals is tonight, and not at least 3 days ago

Gumbygirl

Here’s one from Gumby

350583c20c0ec0759b9160cd8295057e5d05d64f446b73ae1fb6a1feddad6f89_1.jpg.jpg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This should be the foundation of Geico’s new ad campaign.

Sort of like “The Most Interesting Man in the World” but with a gecko and for insurance.

yeah right

Amazon delivery is here!

Hello Hawkins cheezies!

Doktor Zymm

Yum! Canadian crack!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[door flies open]

comment image

scotchnaut

Amazon horning in on Litre’s business. smh…

scotchnaut

So youngest skull fracture boy took another job and just finished his first week. The paycheque was bigger and he’s happy with that because he wants to buy all the nice new things. (boat, car, ATV, etc.) Thing is, I divided his pay by the number of hours he worked and it’s $3.45 less per hour than what he would get at our business. Welp.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is true. The hottest girl I ever hooked up with in college became a mathematician and swore off men though not necessarily in that order.

ArmedandHammered

How close in proximity to your hooking up did this announcement occur.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, I was just foolin’. A couple of high school hookups did end up as lesbians but it wasn’t until well past the grace period/danger zone/trauma interval.

Horatio Cornblower

Great to be able to buy all those shiny new toys, but doesn’t do you much good when you don’t have time to use them.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[remains happily retired] – Eli Manning

Doktor Zymm

To quote that Barbie doll from the 90’s, “Math is hard”

ArmedandHammered

I just saw that MC5 released a brand new album, after it was recorded two of the members passed away, a very cool last hurrah.

Brocky
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I saw them play at the Hollywood Bowl with the LA Philharmonic. It was good, but Belle and Sebastian the year before was even better.

BeefReeferLives

Hey everybody, my Uncle, Clarence Thomas, just texted me to let me know that he’s taking bribes from billionaires to advance their oligarchic agendas!!

blaxabbath

My mom doesn’t belive that!

scotchnaut

Thanks for reinforcing my theory that people older than me are impossibly stupid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Scotchnaut (artist’s conception):

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Last edited 4 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gumbygirl

Hey now. It’s not impossible to be this stupid, it just took many years of practice!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The best part of that whole business is all the redhats who got excited about the prospect of a mistrial only to see their hopes go up in smoke as the guy acknowledged it was a shitpost. I do hope that the defense team was able to rack up $1M in billable hours “chasing it down” though.

scotchnaut

/wife is on a major health kick

Wifey: “Come taste this-it’s a loaf I made from a recipe. It’s made from lentils and cottage cheese.”

Me: [takes small bite]

Wifey: “It’s dry, I know, but it was worth a try.”

Me: [slowly lowers hand with piece of loaf in it to the open mouth of Ruby]

Wifey: “Awww. It’s that bad?”

Me: “Uh huh.”

Doktor Zymm

I once made a horrible health loaf out of chestnuts and parsnips. I’ve come to the conclusion that only bread and occasionally meat should come in loaf form

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Fine. I’ll just never cook anything again, would that make you happy?” – the Dr. Mrs. Deadly, were I to ever to render my critique of her cooking in such a fashion

scotchnaut

“Feisty or thin-skinned? Place your bets now!”

-Draft Kings, probably

blaxabbath

I gave blood today.

So I’ll be spending the next 4 hours lightheadedly judging everyone else around me.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man I love that feeling.

Doktor Zymm

The invention of flight must have made geology and vulanology way easier. So easy to pick out volcanic features from the air

Mr. Ayo

And now they have drones. Can fly closer and no human dangers.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Until they design drones that can be inhabited by human consciousnesses.

Mr. Ayo

Ritual sacrifices are BACK!

2Pack

I flew in an AC-130 over Mount Nyiragongo in DROC at night. It’s active and was quite a stunning view.

Brick Meathook
ballsofsteelandfury

Mr. Monkey Clock seems to be going faster with the seconds hand yet the minute hands seem to match…

Brick Meathook

Balls, I could make a post about time, timepieces, and navigational instruments.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d love to take a video of my cat opening the bathroom door and coming in to shout “feed me” repeatedly (in cat-speak), but there’s too many mirrors in here and I wouldn’t want to expose any of you to something you’d rather not see.

blaxabbath

That’s how the conversation about Thursday Night Football started….

Dunstan

Thank you. Immaculately cleaned floors creep me the fuck out.

ArmedandHammered

Are you sure it is to eat and not looking for a safe space to hide from all the vacuuming.

Doktor Zymm

And yet they are all sandwich

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yeah right

I was already thinking tacos for dinner.

ArmedandHammered

Bought a Traeger and I am smoking some pork for tonight.

BeefReeferLives

/Pavlovian response

Gumbygirl

I’m pretty sure huarache is a sandal, not a sandwich. Or maybe it’s both? Wily multitasking Mexicans!

yeah right

It’s both.

Brick Meathook
2Pack

Got the Hamilton 17 years ago from Wifey for our 25th. A good classic watch. The add on wrist compass helps keep me aligned.

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2Pack

Also can’t take pictures like you Buddy.

Brick Meathook

I’m kinda’ good at pictures.

blaxabbath

You’re okay.

Brick Meathook

“Somewhat” or so they tell me.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Let’s go Paolini!” – Doug Martin

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ArmedandHammered

She is failing faster than the Italian army in Ethiopia.

Mr. Ayo

Swiatek is so damned good. Shame that Osaka had to play her so early in the tournament.

Doktor Zymm

Put thing in fridge, changed socks, got 2 hours of sleep with objectively horrifying dreams that didn’t actually affect me because I don’t release adrenaline or anything in my sleep and also because I’m aware they’re dreams. Now back to DC. Will sleep on this 738 nonMAX

Doktor Zymm

Forgot to grab my watch charger, but should be okay

ArmedandHammered

Watching French Open and was pulling for the Italian, but hearing that Swiantek carries Lego sets when she travels and is the only tennis pro to have a a contract and sponsorship with Lego, I hope she wins everything from now on.

Brick Meathook

Boeing 707-120B “Astrojet” (1967)

https://ibb.co/8DTpwLd

2Pack

Loud as hell.
Incapable of taking a bomb in the rest room without significant mayhem ensuing.
Fly only if no other options available.

Brick Meathook

Wait . . . are you saying you’ve taken a shit in a commercial airline lavatory?

(don’t give me any military bowel movement stories as a submariner I can match you shit for shit)

blaxabbath

So you burn the poop in the sub?

Brick Meathook

No, we would “blow sanitaries” once a week a week during “noisy evolution” when we would find the shittiest weather in the North Atlantic (to punish all the surface ships tracking us) and then we would blow all our waste tanks out into the ocean to mingle with the whale poop, and also blow down engineering, snorkel our diesel, and do all of this at the same time, and then we would secure and dive and vanish again.

blaxabbath

“And that, blaxito, is how we won in Iraq….”

Brick Meathook

In my case it’s how we crushed the Soviet Union. Sea duty 82-85. Six patrols.

blaxabbath

That’s worthwhile.

2Pack

You haven’t experienced shit until you pull detail on the 4 hole burnouts.

Brick Meathook

You haven’t experienced a military shit until you’ve been on watch on a submarine in Engineroom Lower Level on Ultra Quiet for 72 hours straight and they pass around a garbage bag for you to desperately take a shit into and it already has a bunch of turds in it. I shit in a garbage bag and I was only wearing socks for sound silencing. Good times my friends.

Brick Meathook

That bowel movement earned me admission to the American Legion and the Veterans of Foreign Wars. God Bless America.

2Pack

OK you got me there. My worst was on LRS teams in sub surface hide sites for days at a time. We could not leave the hide being 250 kilometers behind enemy lines and all that. So you took your dumps in a baggy lined ammo can with backing powder in it. But at least our dumps were individually wrapped. And thanks to MREs, pretty infrequent.

2Pack

Only when Jacqueline Bassett is serving me in coach.

2Pack

Much respect to the experts here. Let the games begin.

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Doktor Zymm

Maybe one of those *isn’t* really a banana!

WCS

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If it’s an imitation, get a flamethrower.

Gumbygirl