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Saturday Night Off-season Open Thread 15

ballsofsteelandfury

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I really need to find a picture of Marika either playing golf or wearing a golf outfit.

I am playing in my club’s championship tourney this weekend. It’s a two day event, so when this posts I will have finished the first 18. Hopefully, I did well. I’ll let you know in a future episode of Balls Magazine.

Incidentally, the Casino tourney in Palm Springs was a really fun time! My team placed fifth overall, which was pretty decent! I broke a record that day. It wasn’t golf-related, however.

I somehow managed to drive from Pasadena to Palm Springs city limits in a little over one hour at 5:30 on Saturday morning. That’s 106 miles, btw. I’m ready….

***

Today, I am continuing my quick hit previews of teams playing in the Summer of Soccer tournaments. Here we go…

***

US National Women’s Soccer Team (Paris Olympics)

Why should you care about them? They are younger and less cunty than their predecessors. They have a good shot at getting a medal. They’re our girls.

Is the government corrupt?

Are the people cool? Do you like DFO?

How will they do? They’re in a group with Zambia, Germany, and Australia. They’ll move on and will probably win a medal.

***

US Men’s Olympic Team

Why should you care about them? They have two players that play for Venezia in 2Pack’s neighborhood. They don’t know that they suck?

Is the government corrupt? See above.

Are the people cool? Have you read Sexy Friday?

How will they do? They are in the same group as France, Guinea, and New Zealand. They’ll move on to the Knockout Stage and then promptly

***

Romania National Team (Euro 2024)

Why should you care about them? I have a buddy at work that’s from Romania and he has some AMAZING stories of life under the Iron Curtain and the Soviets. I also have a Russian buddy that corroborates them.

Is the government corrupt? Surprisingly, not that bad.

Are the people cool? My buddy is cool.

How will they do? They are in a group with Ukraine, Slovakia, and Belgium. They’ll struggle to get third and then it will be up to chance if they move on to the Knockout Stage. Lots of Romanian superstitions will be at play…

***

US National Team (Copa América)

Why should you care about them? You like rooting for your own country and/or neighbor?

Is the government corrupt? See the section above

Are the people cool? See the section above.

How will they do? They are in a group with Uruguay, Panamá, and Bolivia. They’ll get their asses kicked México-style against Uruguay but should beat the others. I say they get second place and move on to the Knockout Stage.

***

As a quick reminder, the schedule is below:

The first game is on June 14. Get psyched!

***

Speaking of, your weekly Psych gif:

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Your weekly hot girl pic:

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Your weekly music video:

***

It’s GAME ONE OF THE STANLEY CUP FINAL, THE CONCLUSION OF THE BEST TOURNAMENT IN THE WORLD. That’s all that matters.

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Brick Meathook

This is the shittiest time of the day for me. Nobody else is awake yet I’m in my creative prime and could use a few sidekicks. Such is life.

1
Brick Meathook

I actually waited at this bus stop for 4 days (or so it seemed)

I had arrived at LAX, which if I was allowed to cut across the active north runways, I could walk home in 15 minutes. At that time the short Uber ride was priced at $65. FUCK THAT. So I walked to the bus stop, and all the buses were free because it was mid pandemic.

I had to transfer twice and it took two hours but I got home for free.

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Brick Meathook

Arlington, Virginia

The real home of the “half-smoke” (not Ben’s Chili Bowl)

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Brick Meathook

Forewarned is forearmed:

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Brick Meathook

General Curtis LeMay’s cap
National Air & Space Museum Annex
Chantilly, Virginia

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jjfozz

also the NHL has rpleaced my lvoe f r football. done. these guys ae legit. tehy fight, tey skate they never ever put themselvesa bout teammates.

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Mr. Ayo

The fozz is back! Speaking of which, how’s your back sport?

3
TheRevanchist

Have you tried watching cricket?

1
jjfozz

Sauced

As my kids woudl say

all day on the lawn and then beers and whiskeeey with my buddy ad wife

so yeah, suached

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I haven’t had a drink in a week. Considering keeping it going until I fly to Japan. On the other hand, Horatio mailed me some really good beer. This is a toughie…

4
Gumbygirl

Is it, though? Is it really?

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Brick Meathook

Oh drink them, it’s good for you . . .

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Doktor Zymm

A week actually is long enough to lower your tolerance if that makes a difference

2
yeah right

C’mon mate, I’ll do one with ya.

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jjfozz

Drink or be gone

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2Pack

Romania is not a bad place, the beaches are NAWT up to Marika and my standards though. Will keep my eyes open for the golf outfit Pic Bro. I gotta belive it will include cleavage.
Rest in peace Bill Anders.

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jjfozz

every day i climb out of the moarass of my life, and contempalte the pan of living,a nd then ai remembe rhter’es cleavage adn i live to figh another day

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Brick Meathook

That’s the spirit!

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2Pack

Balls and I totally agree.

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blaxabbath

It was a pain in the ass road but we got the Hawaii place closed last week. Under 1,000 SF, 2/2 and middle space plus carport. It’s in kinda an agriculture pocket thing and, long-story short, pretty restrictive building restrictions. I’m up for the build-out project because, goddamn, there’s no other opportunity available that meets any version of my *needs* for the eventual place — with eventual doing a lot of work here.

So pretty excited. I mean, like the way you get excited for years of work ahead. But you think it’s a labor of love thing so you lie to yourself long enough to make sure you can’t get out when reality sets in. At least that’s my system for these big projects; glad to getting moving on it now.

The Big Sur place smokes mine by a long shot. A LONG shot.

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King Hippo

ok, it’s official now. We all wish to be adopted by blax.

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blaxabbath

You ready to work?

My agent now has a trauma bond with me. Everyone who does anything worth doing with me shares one.

Last edited 1 year ago by blaxabbath
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jjfozz

ia m rucking IN

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blaxabbath

Oh no, not you. You’d KILL me.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Which island?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Candy Apple Island!

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yeah right

This shit is easy. Introduce yourself to the neighbors and if possible cook for them.

You’ll be hanging loose in no time.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

This is true. The locals all cook for each other.

Just beware that a visit to Starbucks costs $40.

0
yeah right

Fucks a Starbucks?

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Doktor Zymm

Some business from Seattle

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Brick Meathook

I’ve told this before, but I worked in Honolulu once, and I lived in Waikiki. I would go across Ala Moana on Sundays to a marina bar and watch NFL games (they were live starting at 7 AM but they would re-broadcast them locally at 1 PM and 4 PM. I would pay $10 for a Bud long neck bottle. One time I mentioned that I lived across the street and was working in Honolulu, and the bartender overheard this. “You’re working here?” he said. Suddenly a Bud long neck bottle was $2.

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blaxabbath

Good schedule. Thanks for the image.

1
King Hippo

Has this Ice FITBAW match been as boring as my score checks would indicate? Seems 1990s NJ Devils-ish

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Mr. Ayo

Yes. Ice Cats in 4.

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King Hippo

which is weird, because in my experience…cats REALLY do not like ice

0
yeah right

Don’t be dennigrating the great Ŝcotty Stevens. Motherfucker was cracking fools.

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Mr. Ayo

https://twitter.com/ArponBasu/status/1799504108904227153

Are they going to outsource company travel to Uber?

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Doktor Zymm

Maybe they just don’t want anyone damaging the team bus or sexually harassing the bus driver?

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Dunstan

Mike Babcock would want to check their app himself.

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herodotus450

Oh so ya’ll are too good for Quiet Place 3? How about Beverly Hills Cop 4!? Is that ok with you, your majesties!???
/New Beverly Hills Cop is really happening, this is not a drill

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blaxabbath

That’s beautiful. Location on the water is elite.

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Brick Meathook

I passed on it though. I’m looking for more of a San Simeon vibe.

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blaxabbath

Well sure — but not everyone has the affection for traveling to Bakersfield that you enjoy.

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Brick Meathook

There’s a lot of money in Bakersfield.

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blaxabbath

I know.

Californians have taught me Bakersfield is a place you can just nod to with a whiff of arrogance and everyone agrees it is subpar. So I just follow the conversation.

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Brick Meathook

I loved this when it was broadcast.

1
Gumbygirl

Was that the one with Carol Burnette? It was great!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Yup!

1
Brick Meathook

Yes, and Charles Grodin and Teri Garr, among others. I loved how at every family breakfast they would splash their vodka drinks into someone’s face, and how the Rolls Royce was always not working so they would be chauffeured to important meetings in the way back seats of a station wagon.

1
Gumbygirl

5-1 Firebirds, they win the western conference for the second year! Probably facing the Hershey Bears again in the Calder Cup finals, but the Cleveland Monsters have an outside chance at taking that series.

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SonOfSpam

Can the USMNT win the Copa and Olympic Gold Medal?

hell no, of course not, don’t be silly

My picks are Frogland and Brazil. Yeah, going WAY out on a limb.

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Horatio Cornblower

It’s in France and the only thing more corrupt than FIFA are the Olympics, so my money is on France.

The Copa I’ll take, uh, Uruguay. Why not?

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SonOfSpam

Oh I meant Euros for France.

Olympique?

Eh, let’s say Belgium.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d love to root for Equatorial Guinea but they only ever seem to play for the draw.

2
yeah right

So many Portuguese doubters.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Media: “Why Are Millennials Killing Movies!?!?”

Me: (not a millennial) (watching an ad for the 3rd Quiet Place movie). Gee, good question. I dunno.

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SonOfSpam

Quite Place 3: IT’S REALLY FUCKING QUIET

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Horatio Cornblower

Quiet Place IV: The Shutting The Fuck Upenning!

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SonOfSpam

Quite Place 5: The Quiet Search For Spock

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Horatio Cornblower

Quiet Place VI: Too Fast, Too Furious, But Only Internally

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Brick Meathook

Quiet Place 7: Hell’s Library

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ballsofsteelandfury

Quiet Place: The Ocho

4
Gumbygirl

Quiet Place 9: Shut The Fuck Up For Chrissakes!

4
Doktor Zymm

Quiet Place 10: Shhhh Boogaloo

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Quiet Place 11: I Swear to Fucking God I Am Going To Turn This Car Around…

3
ballsofsteelandfury

I haven’t been to a movie theater since before COVID. Maybe Gen X is killing movies?

1
SonOfSpam

We’re doing our damnedest. I think my last theater visit was on a New Year’s Eve, seeing La La Land with wife and kid. Had dinner at a seafood place, watched a movie, went home and watched the ball drop (New York’s not mine).

1
SonOfSpam

Seeing movies at home means cheap drinks and bathroom breaks.

Also, pants are more optional.

1
SonOfSpam

That said, finally say Poor Things the other night. Weird-ass movie, and Emma Stone earned her Oscar.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Why would I want to pay $24 to go somewhere not my house, deal with a bunch of other people, pay extra for snacks, and not be able to pause the movie to take a leak when I can just wait a couple of months and see the movie in the comfort of my home?

Also, if I left the house and paid money to the see ‘The Iron Claw’ I’d have held up the theater cashier until they gave me my money back. At my trial I would simply play the movie in its entirety, and no jury would convict me.

Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
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SonOfSpam

Yeah, less than zero interest in that movie. I’d rather rewatch Less Than Zero.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Less Than Zero is also a happier movie.

2
Gumbygirl

We watched Misery yesterday for the first time since it came out. My ankles still hurt!

1
SonOfSpam

Oh that was an experience in the theater.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was told there would be no math.

2
blaxabbath

I’ve been a couple times with the kid. Actually took him a couple Tuesdays ago when Dumb and Dumber was playing on old movies night (he’s seen it here with me and enjoyed it). I think the problem movies have is that it can’t be any better an experience than it is. Yeah recliners and better sound and more (sometimes even decent) food — but their model requires a zillion ads, not enough good offerings, and then just people sitting there for two hours.

It’s the free market. Why is Netflix so valuable — it has absorbed much of the value that used to be in movie theaters. You want to blame someone? Blame the studios that want to vertically integrate into distribution. The studios could easily ‘save’ movie theaters, their business partners of decades. They choose not to (and, instead, are making other plans) every day. It’s never the consumer’s fault a company fails. Even the suggestion is an example of how fucking stupid the mindset of this country is where we will argue ANYTHING and place blame ANYWHERE — understanding that a later argument on the AMOUNT of blame will be welcome later.

Maybe movies are just dying on their own.

1
blaxabbath

Everyone knows that, once you’re moved to a second location, you dead.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Guy in the UFC just got knocked out with one of the most vicious uppercuts I’ve ever seen.

0
Horatio Cornblower

There’s no way Edmonton wins this; that fucking rat Bettman will do everything in his power to keep the Cup from returning to Canada, especially if it means justifying his southern expansion.

In conclusion, fuck Gary Bettman.

3
Gumbygirl

5-1 Firebirds after 2.

1
Doktor Zymm

I also have a Romanian friend who is super cool. She came to the US when the Iron Curtain fell, joining her father who was able to defect a few years earlier. I had no idea when I met her freshman year in high school that she was a recent immigrant!

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Has she told you stories of growing up there? It’s fascinating.

1
Doktor Zymm

yup! It really is, I didn’t learn the story of her father’s defection until recently. Crazy stuff for a kid

1
Brick Meathook

Definitely a family of spies.

2
Gumbygirl

There was a Hungarian childrens home in my hometown. I went to school with kids who’s parents were killed or imprisoned by the Russians when they took them over, or who managed to smuggle them out after. The resistance there went on for quite a few years after the invasion in the late 50’s.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There was a Romanian girl in my high school – graduated one spot above me in class rank. I wish I’d been more friendly to her; she was pretty shy but otherwise very nice.

2
Brick Meathook

In the four years I attended my private prep high school in Arlington VA (right across the Potomac from Washington DC) out of student body of 1600 total we had one black student.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Same with my high school although I’m thinking our enrollment was a total of 1200.

1
Doktor Zymm

I went to Blair in MoCo, we were about 30% white, 30% black, 30% hispanic, 10% other

around 3000 students my senior year I think

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
2
Brick Meathook

Was there a teacher there named Mr. Kaluta when you went to Blair?

1
Doktor Zymm

Yes, there was! He sponsored stage crew

2
Brick Meathook

I’m known him my whole life. He grew up on the same block as me in Arlington. He was 4 years older than me, the same as my older sister and a bunch of other kids on our street. His older brother Michael (who I never knew) is a famous comic book illustrator in NYC.

2
Doktor Zymm

Small world!

2
Brick Meathook

Also, where were the Asians?

0
Doktor Zymm

I’m rolling them in to other, there were quite a few, but I don’t think more than 10%. I was Magnet so there were more than 10% in my classes, but fewer in the school overall

1
Brick Meathook

Other: Asians, Mormons, Serbs, Canadians, Slavs, Sephardic Jews, Japanese Nisei, Mets fans, etc etc . . .

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Confirming my preview, the US Copa team got beat today 5-1 by Colombia.

0
fleshwound_NPG

uswnt: must we do everything by ourselves…again

2
TheRevanchist

The post game show was just a bunch of bitter losers. Very embarrassing.

1
Mr. Ayo

Gotta keep international relationships in good shape for that booty and nose candy pipeline to keep flowing.

2
Mr. Ayo

HOCKEY!!!

2
Mr. Ayo

Also, Ice Cats in 6

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Euler’s formulas in 7

1
Gumbygirl

I have no idea, but I like Canadians and despise Floridians (except any DFO gators) so go Oilers!

1
Gumbygirl

The Coachella Valley Firebirds are probably closing out the western conference final tonight in Milwaukee. They’re up 4-0 in the second period.

2
Mr. Ayo

RELEASE THE KRAKEN FIREBIRDS! So mad I didn’t attend their game last Friday when I was in town.

2
Mr. Ayo

And, of course, at 5pm on a Saturday night, right on cue, the business lot behind me strikes up the gas leaf blowers. WTF

1
Mr. Ayo

Hah! Yelling at them worked. God bless them.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Check this out – doesn’t the lead thug at 0:15 look an *awful* lot like Billy Zabka (Johnny from Karate Kid/Cobra Kai)?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ega5Rcct2s

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m not convinced that isn’t him. He would have needed the money around then for sure.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, UHF was in 1989 and he really wasn’t very busy – just a few appearances on The Equalizer according to IMDB.

0
Horatio Cornblower

That’s absolutely him.

2
BugEyedBoo

My inner 13-year-old wasn’t fast enough with the camera this afternoon, so I had to hunt it up online.

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5
Gumbygirl

Milk, milk, lemonade.
Around the corner, fudge is made.

Poetry!

1
fleshwound_NPG

welp, looks like i wont be watching whatever the thursday night nfl shitfest matchup is on october 3rd

see you on the battlefield, mechwarriors

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CIobDJeEWc

2
BugEyedBoo

You were saying to skip using the HOTAS, and just go mouse and keyboard? I couldn’t drive for shit with the joystick/throttle/rudder controls.

2
fleshwound_NPG

yep, mouse n keyboard. doom, but slower, and with robots

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