Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
As life runs on, the road grows strange with faces new and near the end, the milestones into headstones change, ‘neath every one a friend.’ [in bed]
James Russell Lowell

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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I got to spend a week in Chicago and a week in DC by myself during the day, while my wife was taking classes. That was five weekdays each week of wandering around looking in museums. I knew my wife well enough to know that a whole day walking around the Air and Space Museum or the Museum of Science and Industry would not have been her thing.
BugEyedBoo

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Any trip that involves a very specific itinerary or travel every other day, is not a vacation, that is a tour.

Based on this definition I have not taken a “vacation” in almost fifteen years, which not coincidentally is right around the time that I met the Dr. Mrs.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Found a funny:

If you think the attacks on Kamala for not having any children are misogynistic, imagine if she had 5 kids by 3 different men.
rockingdog

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My idea of vacation is going somewhere and exploring. Yes, it’s exhausting, but it feeds my brain.

Ideally, I like to combine the two. For example, go to Cancún to an all-inclusive, vegg out at the pool or ocean, eat all I want, drink all I want, but then take a day trip to Chicken Itza or Tulum.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Found a funny:

“The problem with JD Vance is he has no conviction, but his running mate has 34 of ’em.”
BeefReeferLives

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One of the regular disputes in my household is whether to move leftovers to a smaller container once some portion of them have been consumed. My philosophy is “why get a second tupperware dirty? As long as there’s enough space in the fridge, it’s fine.”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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/wife is weirdly jealous

Wifey: “There’s a charge on your Visa for a ‘Lesley Diamond’. I’m going to call into the fraud line.”

Me: “Hold on-Lesley..Lesley…I think her name was Lindsay though.”

Wifey: “Fucking asshole!”
scotchnaut

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It’s getting close to the end of the season and it’s still super tight.

What are “Things never overheard in the Vivid Videos interns exit interviews” ?

I’ll take Potent Potables for $1000, please.
LemonJello

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THIS US RUGBY TEAM I CALL IT BUYING WATER AT THE AIRPORT BECAUSE THEY’RE GETTING VIOLATED BY FIJI
SonOfSpam

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-sigh-

Well, time for a monthly meeting with my supervisor.

/turns down TV
//puts on shirt
Horatio Cornblower

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Let’s get down to the real issue..

Maybe Vance fucked a couch, maybe he didn’t; that’s irrelevant. This undermines a real issue that’s being overlooked, and it’s a real indictment on the media for not addressing this earlier: how does this impact the potential Maple Leafs playoff match-ups next season?
WCS

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Saw this on Bluesky, which doesn’t link well here.

“JD stands for ‘jizzy divan’
Horatio Cornblower

JD is short for “Just Drillingthiscouch”— SonOfSpam (@sonofspam.bsky.social) Jul 24, 2024 at 7:38 PM

He overheard someone say “more cushion for the pushin” and the rest is davenport-lovin history.— SonOfSpam (@sonofspam.bsky.social) Jul 24, 2024 at 7:34 PM

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Watching a BBQ competition on Netflix and while it’s always struck me as a little unrealistic that these people are banging out 5 course meals in 2 hours using open fire techniques I am now convinced the whole thing is fake when one of the competitors said, during the tailgate competition, that she was a big fan of something called “the Houston Texans.”
Horatio Cornblower

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Found a funny:

JD no that’s not what intersectional means! 🛋️
rockingdog

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I think I’ve got it:

When they were passing out spouses, JD Vance thought they said “couches” and told them “gimme something curvy and exotic, like a Cabriole.”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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JD: Are you up for a little role-play tonight?

USHA: What did you have in mind?

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This has nothing to do with anything, but I just heard someone call the whole Trump owwie thing Ear Farce One. Hehehe.
Gumbygirl

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I’m not sure using Bulleitt with anything called Rittenhouse is a good idea.
Horatio Cornblower

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Finishing up lunch and then it’s 6 hours in the car to the glorious metropolis that is Millinocket, ME, there to climb Mt. Katahdin tomorrow.

Possible BOTG subbing in for MMMD next week, assuming I can manage not to fall off the steep parts of the mountain.
Horatio Cornblower

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When asked how he feels about turning over the presidential nomination to Kamala Harris, Joe Biden said, “I have known her for many years and she has a great history of public service, like hosting ‘Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?’ in the 1990s.”
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

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Flava Flav sponsoring the women’s water polo team and being a super dude is just the best.
litre_cola

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Current Olympics status:

TV 1 – handball
TV 2 – surfing
Cell – rugby
ballsofsteelandfury

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The question of the day: is Dok watching Olympic Dressage?
ballsofsteelandfury

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Shit weather day, looks like we are going to Despicable me 4.

Edibles engage.
litre_cola

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Hell, if you need some content, I have some beaming, positive news to share with you guys. I was offered the teaching position at the High School here in Woodstock and start in a week! It looks like the Economics & Personal Finance elective just became the responsibility of the history department this year, so as the new guy I’ll be “taking one for the team” and teaching three units of this course and one of 11th grade U.S. history.

I want you all to know that I could not have gotten to this point in my life without you, and I mean that most sincerely. I have always silently looked up to you as mentors. While it’s true I started out in awe of your rapid-fire comedic skills in the Deadspin comment section, over the years I’ve observed you all giving each other sensible financial advice, home-buying strategies, and most importantly, career-and-interview advice. Plenty of that has stuck in my head throughout this process, and I can’t thank you enough for what you shared with me.

You have also provided me with the only place in my world where the pace of my output or frequency of my appearances are not questioned or criticized. The collected experience, intelligence, wit, and wisdom here is so powerful it remains an honor to be allowed to even lurk amongst you. My brain literally filters information through the opinion spectrum on DFO in order to formulate my opinions, like it used to do with The Daily Show & Colbert Report back in their heydays, so What You Folks Think matters a great deal to me.

And shit, you guys sat with me through rehab, man. That’s for real. And the way you’ve supported my sobriety has been life-changing, or character-changing at least. I can’t ever give up on the human race again as long as there are people like the crew on this website who can gather in relative anonymity and radiate such kindness and empathy to a guy like me. Thanks again for all your support up to this point, and I promise I won’t let you guys down on this job!
Fronkenshteen

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Computer network crashed; let’s do this the ol’ fashioned way!

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Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages. Direct your attention to the center ring!

Our fearless and slightly idiotic resident chef, yeah right is attempting a never before attempted dish.

This includes six, count them 6! Spices never before used and a dish that requires a dough made of a combination of ingredients only found on the old Silk Road.

Will he fuck up spectacularly in a boiling cauldron of oil or will he pull off the miraculous?

High tension stuff!

Find out in two short weeks right here on Sunday Gravy!
yeah right

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I should try this [the goulash]; there used to be a good spice place in my neighborhood and I still have some of their really good paprika.

Made carnitas, rice, and beans yesterday, with guac and salsa. On the plus side, I have lots of leftovers. The down side is that I need them because my kitchen is in no state for additional cooking right now.
Dunstan

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THIS BADMINTON MATCH I CALL IT ME IN HIGH SCHOOL, BECAUSE THEY ARE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF THAT COCK!!!
Horatio Cornblower

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Though the front row was open after it rained for a few innings but I couldn’t convince my friend to seat hop.
Sharkbait

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Found a funny:

Doug Emhoff on the campaign trail in Wisconsin: “Mr. Trump, I know you have so much trouble pronouncing her name. Here’s the good news — after the election, you can just call her Madam President”

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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