Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
As life runs on, the road grows strange with faces new and near the end, the milestones into headstones change, ‘neath every one a friend’ [in bed].
James Russell Lowell
So, stay away from scotchy?
In golf news, I got my first par on Saturday. Actually two. Both times I had a great drive off the tee, chip on to the green and then two putted for par. Also had a few bogies and a few snowmen, so it all balanced out, but by far my best round ever. Dammit I might be hooked on this whole golf thingy.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Oh, wow, South Korea won the gold in archery.
If the bow-and-arrow were still the height of technology Korea would rule the world.
Horatio Cornblower
It’s their seoul defense
SonOfSpam
Someone on Bluesky called JD Vance ‘Vladimir Futon’ and people, I think we’re done here.
Horatio Cornblower
JD Vance is feuding with Jennifer Aniston, probably because he’s upset that she got between two guys and a couch.
Horatio Cornblower
SORORITY SIS: [is nodding off]
FRAT BRO: Oh, don’t fall asleep on that couch. That’s what JD calls his ‘loveseat’.
SORORITY SIS: Ew! Thanks for the warning, I wouldn’t want that creep touching me at 3 a.m.
FRAT BRO: Oh, he wouldn’t touch you. He’d just yell at you to make like a tree and leave.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
SonOfSpam
Flavor Flavor apparently found out that the US women water polo players have to work outside of water polo so he became a sponsor of the team to help out and, much like the Grinch, my heart has grown three sizes upon hearing this news.
Horatio Cornblower
I like how you use his formal name.
SonOfSpam
Watching this NBC segment on a Romanian swimmer takes me back to 1984…
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Just got back from driving roughly 13 hours round-trip to Maine.
Mrs. Horatio: “My uncle died. The service is on Saturday. In Maine.”
Horatio Cornblower
Did you tell her, what roads to avoid on her drive?
ArmedandHammered
No, because I do not want to attend two funerals this weekend, one of which would be mine.
Horatio Cornblower
Hahaha! Got’em!
That’s Rocking!
rockingdog
Found a funny:
TREBEK: Feel free to ask these diminutive spirits for sexual favors, but don’t say “guten Tag” – – they’re not actually German!
Me: who are the slut gnomes of false berlin
TREBEK: Bizarre little men. You’re still in control of the board
rockingdog
We’re not done with J.D. Vance stuff I hope.
“You know, it’s not so much the actual fucking I like, I’m all about the thrill of the chaise.” — J.D. Vance
Dunstan
As always fuck Aaron Rodgers. May his Achilles snap again as soon as regular season play begins.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Has anyone had both Achilles snap simultaneously?
LemonJello
“I make really good Achilles Snaps”
-J. Dahmer
SonOfSpam
By the end of the week, I will have my flight to hawaii booked. It’ll be my first visit to the hale since closing. The wife went solo in June to hang(?) so this is my chance to (1) regret, and (2) start planning the work on the place and ingratiating myself with the neighbors (“HEY YOU HAWAIIAN GUYS WANT SOME THIS HUNGARIAN GOULASH?”) — and hang(?). When I went out in the spring to shop, it was on the tail-end of a work trip and I was working/fried/doing-my-own-researching hard. Since then, it’s been summer and summer-work bs. Really, I had reserved that I may not make it out until after Christmas but this is cool and I’m glad I can go alone this first visit.
So I’m going to get in a surf lesson. Always wanted to learn. The nearest beach park is APPARENTLY good for beginner waves/spacing. I did see a group of keikis on the waves one of the days I cruised by so that’s kind of something I’m looking forward to doing with my son.
So the boy starts his first day at school (NEW SCHOOL) kindergarten on like a Wednesday. How soon after the first day may I bolt? I figure, fmthat first half-week plus a full-week, I can leave that Friday. Within 8 schooldays I should know if we have a problem (which is not at all expected). Is that adequate parenting or am I absentee fathering here? Either is fine, just want to set reasonable expectations.
blaxabbath
Italian gymnast Giorgia Villa. She’s sponsored by Parmigiano Reggiano which is both amazing and the most Italian thing ever
Doktor Zymm
Gumby had his third round of chemo today. His numbers are good, the oncologist is happy, and said there’s definite improvement. He told him to cut way down on his Lasix, which will be nice at night, because his blood pressure has been running lower than usual. He’s on a three week schedule, so his next treatment is around the 20th or so. Today was a good day.
Gumbygirl
Hey, I want QARon to make it to week one of the regular season and then need to be carted off the field directly to the nursing home.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
I’d rather he get hurt in Week 5 or so, the rest of the Jets fight gamely to keep their playoff hopes alive, then he comes back to tremendous fanfare in Week 16 and throws six interceptions to kill their postseason chances once and for all.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
I’d prefer any scenario where the NFL media completely ignores him for most of the season. Your proposal, while funny, means we’d hear about that insufferable asshole every week just like last year.
Mr. Ayo
Got to say I’m enjoying the spectacle of white people who can go on and on about how they’re Scots-Irish-German-Dutch pretend to be baffled that someone can be both Black and Indian.
But hey, I guess they’re the experts on “race science.”
Dunstan
If they think Kamala isn’t black, I guess they also think Couchfucker’s kids aren’t white, so that’s fun
Doktor Zymm
Don’t judge J.D. Vance’s kids by the color of their upholstery!
Dunstan
No, you should judge them by the polyester content of their stuffing!
LemonJello
The Fuck You to Fifa and the Olympics that the Canadian women are collectively giving is a god damned thing of beauty. It proves 2 things in that Bev Priestman was not a very good coach, and a pointless cheater. I also believe that Jon Herdman did it for our men but he is at TFC now so we shall see what FIFA does. I hope Jesse Marsch did nae do it because we finally sho promise and are hosting the WC in 2 years
Which brings me to the things you could find out droning a practice.
- Formations (just adjust during the game you fuck)
- Starting lineup. Ridiculous that you give a rats ass
- Penalties. Have you heard of watching tape?
So dumb to get caught doing it. Bielsa used to hide in bushes and watch the opposition practice. To quote Delores “Everyone is doing it, why can’t we?”
litre_cola
Furthermore, drones are illegal in France. Who the hell doesn’t look into that when trying to cheat?
litre_cola
Had a chat with my dude that played at lower level English leagues and in the MLS He maintains that-
-attempts at spying occurs on a regular basis in all major soccer leagues
-he was asked to sneak into a practice once (he was kicked out by security)
-it occurred on several teams he played for (not drones but video-taping)
-within the soccer community it was ridiculous/laughable that the Patriots actually got caught
-Canada feeling the need to video an obviously inferior team pretty much proves it was a de rigeur, on-going practice no matter the competition.
/no idea if what he said would stand up to scrutiny
scotchnaut
Submitted for your approval, my balance beam routine:
I approach the beam at a walk, limping on my bad knee. Putting both hands on the beam, I heave myself into the air, bracing my chest and stomach on the beam while using my arms to haul myself up towards the balancing surface.
My legs kick wildly in the air.
Straining my triceps to the point of exhaustion my body pushes up and over the beam, but then keeps going right into my dismount, a fall I like to call ‘the sack of shit’ as I hit the ground on either my left or right side, (gotta keep the judges guessing), before leaping to my feet, throwing my arms in the air and yelling ‘THE ARISTOCRATS!” as loud as I can.
The East German judge gives me a 2.
Horatio Cornblower
My friend’s kid won the gold in the 4 man crew!
Gumbygirl
THIS SWIMMER SUMMER MCINTOSH I CALL HER JOE BIDEN BECAUSE MATT GAETZ IS HAPPY TO TELL ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN THAT SHE IS TOO OLD.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
I’ve seen the video of the Italian woman quitting the boxing match against the Algerian woman who is now being accused of being trans, and I have the following opinion:
The Italian woman was right to quit, because if you throw a wildly telegraphed right hook while keeping your left down at your hips for reasons known only to yourself and whatever dipshit god you worship you’re going to get repeatedly smashed in the face by anyone with an even rudimentary knowledge of fighting and you’re just going to get hurt.
The trans thing is, of course, just whiny bullshit made up by someone who couldn’t cut it and desperately needs an excuse for why they wasted so much of their lives.
Horatio Cornblower
Welp, the people have spoken:
DFO, meet Coco
I’m calling her microdog the destroyer
Brocky
Ah, nothing like accidentally emailing a personal financial spreadsheet to a client in lieu of an invoice.
THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM ALEX JONES’ LAWYER…
(not really, she politely informed me that she had noticed the name of the sheet and deleted it without opening it)
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“Ok, sorry, but why does 53% of your net income go towards vacuum cleaners?”
-Lady, feeling guilty having lied about not opening the file
SonOfSpam
Finally! That 1st Half felt like forever. Can’t believe I got demoted in the DFO Depth Chart and had to go in during the 2nd Half like a common newbie. I used to be somebody in this place, but it’s “what have you done for us lately?”
Redshirt
Wait, there’s a GAME tonight???
ballsofsteelandfury
I mean, in the sense that Play Dough is food.
WCS
“Why is everyone looking at me?”
-Eli, kicking empty cans under his bunk bed
LemonJello
I got a pizza oven for Fathers Day. She is a cruel mistress but once we work out the kinks will be awesome.
litre_cola
As a Bears fan, this post is the first I’m hearing about this preseason game tonight.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
You’ll be able to count the people you’ve heard of that are playing on zero hands
Doktor Zymm
Well that’s a huge relief to Jason Pierre Paul
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Last night, for some reason the missus talked to a door-to-door salesman, trying to sell us extermination services. She told the guy she’d think about it, and to email her the contract. She got the contract in the email, with an account number on it. Now she was worried that we’ve signed up for something, even though she didn’t commit and there’s no signatures on this contract.
So this morning, just to make sure, she called the company to tell them, “I want to make sure that I haven’t been signed up for your services.” She ends up talking to an account rep, and sure enough, this fuckass salesman had signed us up to their service without a signature. Scared the account rep enough that it short-circuited his, “What can we do to keep you as a customer?” spiel. clickety click “This is cancelled, ma’am.” Fraud definitely makes your company look good, Greenix!
BugEyedBoo
Moral of the story: Never talk to anyone
BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl
Found a funny:
“childless woman” is such a 19th-century-ass insult. what else you got. do I render inferior tallow? do my cabbages grow pale and blemished? does the quality of my sock-darning bring shame upon my father’s name?
rockingdog
“Hey, Phantom Menace is on! I think I’ll watch it for nostalgia’s sake. I doubt it was as bad as…”
(five minutes of terrible dialogue and direction later)
“…and I was mistaken. Plus, I owe Episodes VIII and IX an apology. Compared to this, those scripts are Shakesperean sonnets.”
Redshirt
And now, today’s stupid “Only in New York story”:
Senorita Weaselo met a friend for dinner. Said friend was late because she dropped her phone onto the tracks, so she had to go to the booth and tell the agent to potentially fish it out.
Except she didn’t have to wait as long, because a Good Samaritan got the phone out from the tracks!
Because they saw a free phone for the taking, and if not for the friend being there waiting for the MTA to get it out and saw “Hey, you got my phone out!” they would have gotten away with it!
In conclusion, World’s Worst Good Samaritan.
Senor Weaselo
Learned today that apparently Kamala Harris likes to drink wine from time to time!
🍷
That’s Rocking!
rockingdog
I would much rather have a glass of wine with her than a beer with Trump or Vance. Would be nice to be able to leave my glass uncovered without fear while I went to the restroom for one thing.
Doktor Zymm
THIS KATIE LEDECKY IN THE 800M FREESTYLE THESE PAST FOUR OLYMPICS LEMME TELL YA I CALL HER WHITNEY HOUSTON BEFORE SHE MET BOBBY BROWN BECAUSE SHE HAS YET TO BE BEATEN
fleshwound_NPG
Hi, I just signed up for the 12th spot[in the Lowratio FF league]. I’ve been around since KSK, just never seem to have the time to comment in real time. I remember Seamus and would like to honor him and his freezer vodka (although I just suck it down room temp). And also take part in the Lowratio league and all that entails
Bogdanski
I know a lot of folks here reflect about how this community has got them through some shit so let me get this off my chest. Even though I wasn’t posting, just reading; all your conversations got me through: birth of two kids, MIL dying, mom surviving cancer and all sorts of other events that I know if I had commented there would have been support.
That said, I’ll destroy you all in fantasy football… or more likely limp over the finish line like a water-logged gerbil
Bogdanski
Hi Ladies!
I just heard today from some Fox News pundit that when men vote for a woman it causes them to transition into being a woman, and I know at least some of you voted Clinton in 2016
Doktor Zymm
We’re watching the semi finals of men’s badminton and the shuttle cock jokes are rampant.
“That’s proper cocking!”
yeah right
DR. MRS. DEADLY: [shopping online as she is wont to do] Honey, I kind of want this couch.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Okay, JD.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Don T
Big if true!
Doktor Zymm
10 days, 10 days of hacking my lungs out, basically losing my voice, and producing copious amounts of snot. I am exhausted. And raping while having an upper respiratory infection is not the smartest idea, but the only way to cope.
ArmedandHammered
…And raping while having an upper respiratory infection…
Um…
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“Let me tell you something, when I had COVID, I was grabbing every nurse at the hospital by the pussy.” — Donald J. Trump
“When you’re the President, we let you do it.” — Chief Justice Roberts, writing for the majority
“Fucking right you can! Let’s do a Devil’s Triangle!” — concurring opinion of Justice Kavanaugh
Dunstan
Vaping, why the hell does autocorrect change the v to an r?
ArmedandHammered
*Autocorrect brought to you by Harvey Weinstein
Doktor Zymm
If my daughter were in combat sports I would teach her that if you wind up to throw a very telegraphed right hook and leave your left hand down at your hip for reasons known only to yourself and whatever god you worship, your opponent is going to hit you very hard in the face, and when they do that I better not hear you crying that you quit because your opponent is a dude, actually.
Horatio Cornblower
“If you have a sexual relationship with someone, identity and gender may be important. Otherwise,
Who
The fuck
Cares.”
Exactly this.
Doktor Zymm
The good thing about this is that I can discriminate against Ottomans in both scenarios!
Horatio Cornblower
If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
I saw a defense of the Algerian boxer on the basis of the IBA being an appallingly corrupt organization. I cannot begin to describe how tightly I clutched my pearls at the thought of a boxing organization being crooked.
Billy Bean died? Does current A’s ownership have air tight alibis?
Well holy flying fuckballs, Batman. GW gave us the kill code a long time ago…
“in 2017, following Trump’s sinister inauguration speech, former President George W. Bush offered a brief assessment: “That was some weird shit.” “
The most right he’s ever been about anything, which is admittedly a low bar (which is where Horatio’s minion goes after a rough session)
Bush is infinitely more evil than Trump’s entire family could ever aspire to be.
America’s latest gold medal sweetheart is a cute, tiny, blonde woman who could throw me through a wall without so much as breaking a sweat.
US woman going for the gold against a woman from Kyrgyzstan. Kyrghi(?) coaches are spending the half-time break whipping a towel at their athlete’s head. I think it has water on it.
Bold strategy: Rat Tails For Victory!
Please join my Zoom tonight: “Bitchy schizoaffectives for Harris”
That’s been here every night since Biden stepped down.
Should we have been profiting off of this?!
[grudgingly reaches into his pockets for toonies]
If any folks that are eligible to donate to US candidates want to send money to Harris, hit me up and I’ll send you my raiser link.
Dammit, you are about 15 minutes too late.
Let me know if you want to reup
This is some good, wholesome, VP material
Awwwww!
Looks like a big cuck to me.
The Right is trying out “Tampon Tim” because he (I mean not personally) put tampon machines in public school bathrooms.
That, uh, isn’t really the burn you guys think it is.
But yes, he cares, what a pussy.
“Ha ha, he probably had sex with a woman who was on her period! That’s got to be the least virile thing I’ve ever heard of!” – supporters of a guy who hasn’t slept in the same room as his wife for at least fifteen years
Dramatic reduction in Carrie incidents since then
Plug it up!
I mean, if anyone would know…
C’mon, Blax, don’t expose yourself like that-I’m only human!
Also, my Hawaii trip will be last week of this month.
hey, if you are looking for assassins to get the job done, go to the balkans. they have a good track record at getting high-profile targets greased, even in broad daylight
https://abcnews.go.com/US/pakistani-national-charged-alleged-plot-assassinate-donald-trump/story?id=112617075
a lot of people seem to want him dead for some reason
It because They really want ME dead for some reason — and he’s just in Their way.
Read to me like Iran was putting together a gift for the American people as a Statue of Liberty -style international symbol of peacemaking.
We all know about the guy, he only fucked around and won silver.
Shit, from what we’ve the latest current events it looks like all he would have needed was a trip to Cabela’s, a trip to Home Depot for a ladder, and a little target practice.
*we’ve seen. Shit.
Guys, I think I really pissed Brick off a few weeks ago. He hasn’t been around at all. I didn’t mean to, and I’m sorry if I did.
He’s fine. You didn’t piss him off. He’s just been busy with work
He’s just mad that Kamala’s gonna win and his penis will fall off as a result.
How would he tell?
/love ya, Brick
Listen toots –
I handle the running people off around here. And, while I met Brick in person so I know he doesn’t like me personally, there’s no way you’re stealing my bit!
Wouldn’t dream of stepping on your toes, Blax!
walz is gonna have to do what hasnt been done since game 7 of the 1991 world series
somebody from minnesota not fucking up at the end
Pretty awesome to see the guy I bought that hand-carved wooden box to put my weed in win a gold medal at the Olympics.
Woodcarving is an Olympic sport now?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKOc6hXMDhc
I won’t spoil it, but that 1500m final was one of the best races I’ve ever seen.
Am I crazy for thinking that chance by Germany at the very end was way, way offsides?
Which is why they had to pull back to the Rhine after the failed offensive.
US Women’s Soccer up1-0 over Germany in Extra Time
And they hang on for the win…off to the final!
The forecast indicates at least 10 inches of rain over the next couple of days, right now it is raining so hard we might get that amount by this afternoon. If you are in the Raleigh area I and you need to go to Crabtree mall, I would do so now before it floods. I would say this breaks the drought we were having.
That’s pretty close to our average annual rainfall.
“Sigh. I wish *I* had at least ten inches of something to look forward to.” – Deanna Favre
Is that a record?
https://youtu.be/4yXdbXl-lno?si=40_QWOF7NsrRGptz
Women’s soccer – US vs Germany in the semifinal starts shortly on USA network.
US Women are sinking the Polish team in volleyball like the Poles forgot to close the screen doors on the submarine.
Still, the volleyball team is faring better than the Polish hockey team, who all drowned during Spring Training.
“How does this keep happening!?!?”
-Polish hockey coach, standing ankle deep in water.
My wife and I rattled off a few Polish jokes to our daughter, and she was genuinely befuddled. Evidently not a thing anymore.
It hasn’t been for at least 20 years. Not sure why it was a thing in the first place.
I want to say I heard this from Gumbygirl, but could have been someone else. Pittsburgh has a bajillion little neighborhood enclaves of immigrants from European countries, and each has derogatory terms for their neighboring enclaves up and down the street. Terms most people here in the States have never heard before. “What? Why are we badmouthing Lithuanians?”
I know I heard ‘bohunk’ and ‘sager bastard’ (pronounced say-jer) from my mom, who didn’t know what nationality they were, but her grandma sure did.
I went to St. Stanislaus for elementary school. They’re been pounded into my genetic code at this point.
Big week for me. Lotta goals, lotta assists. All about the team, just happy to be here and contributing to games. Wanna thank the big guy upstairs, (points, nods, chest thump to dog sleeping on bed), as well as the little fella below, (raps on Lowratio’s under-the-stairs basement pied-a-terre) (two raps and foot stomp back), just gotta keep grinding out the couch jokes and cheap shots at dead local politicians.
/disappears for three weeks
God, Cillizza is stupid.
I don’t know why anyone bothers to pay attention to him. I haven’t in years.
Like if Peter King was into politics and had no sources.
“Oh, do you know not what you’re talking about but keep doing it anyway? Pity.”
I like to think that even in the excellent scenario where JD Vance disappears from the public eye we will continue to make the occasional joke about his last words being “I’m just gonna check the sofa for loose change”
Bogdan Bodganovic literally means Bogdan son of Bogdan ppl forget that
Great job on the golf!! Keep going!
thanks, seriously thinking about getting a few lessons. This also means that I should be going to the range more to practice what i’ve learned, so we’ll see.
Tim Walz from Minnesnowta is Harris’ Veep pick.
Something must really be wrong with PA governor if they passed on him.
Here’s hoping Dem’s VP Vetting is better than GOP’s.
I think it’s less about there being things wrong with Shapiro and more about things being right with Walz. Tell me this guy doesn’t make you want to run through A GODDAMNED BRICK WALL.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjaSxh0aRkw
I love this red man!
It’s more the Lovers of Self and Couch make me want to slam my head against a brick wall, but I’m good.
I understand the assignment. The GOP needs to be destroyed so it can be rebuilt/replaced.
That’s what the Whigs said….
Yeah, he’s super endearing, and how can anyone (anyone reasonable anyway) hate a retired public school teacher?
Walz to daughter: Corndog?
Daughter: I’m vegetarian
Walz: Turkey then
Daughter : Turkey is meat
Walz: Not in Minnesota, turkey is special
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S233kqP0ak8
Yeah, that guy’s just WAY better than the couchfucker.
“I make lamb!”
“…how could anyone hate a retired school teacher.”
Ea
…sily and I can provide several examples!
Fast forward to 2:21. Good stuff!
Shapiro had an aide who was involved in some pretty ugly sexual harassment and there was some talk that Shapiro buried the reporting and didn’t do anything until the story started to break out. Just an angle of attack that they didn’t need to give the MAGA dipshits.
Also Shapiro is Jewish, so he can probably blame Lieberman for not being on the ticket since Lieberman famously didn’t deliver for Gore. Is that true? No idea, but any chance I get to throw Lieberman under a bus is a chance you better believe I’m going to take.
Fucking muppet.
There were a couple of other issues as. Shapiro was for school vouchers, which is not good for public schools. Shapiro also equated the Gaza protestors to the KKK, which didn’t sit well with the college kids (who occasionally vote) who were protesting.
My anecdata is that my daughter has a Muslim friend that was planning to vote Trump because Biden was doing such a shit job on Gaza. Which was dumb, but there it was. Kamala has revitalized a lot of those students, and saying, “My VP candidate didn’t really call you the KKK,” wasn’t going to sit well.
Some politics watchers also think the same thing would apply to Muslim voters in Michigan, a significant number of voters in a battleground state.
General consensus of the VP nomination is, “Might help, try to avoid an own goal.” JD Couchfucker is showing how not to do that. Shapiro had too many issues that didn’t look good.
An alternate universe version of me, watching your daughter’s Muslim friend get deported during a second Trump presidency (artist’s conception):
Oh man, my daughter was freaking right the fuck out about her friend. So frustrated.
PA going red.
Nah, Shapiro’s popular and he’ll stump for the ticket like the Attorney General position he’s undoubtedly been promised depends on it.
Because it does.
There was a lotta oppo on Shapiro, Walz doesn’t have nearly as much political baggage
Balz to the Walz, baby!
Dammit I thought I was being original.
Let’s go Ballz to the Walz!
I joke around a lot with you his guys here; everybody knows that. And while this last ten minutes has been my lifetime worth of research on Tim Walz, I am starting to truly fear, for the first time, the Trump Income Tax Cuts may roll back after 2025.
So I want to know, right now, what Kamala and Tim plan to do to preserve my cuts, personally. They can take it away from the military; they can borrow it; or they can direct deposit it straight out Jared Kushners Bank of Russia account. But if these clowns think they’re going to come in here and tax me to death, I’ll just stop working and assume no one else will fill that market void and then this whole country will regret taxing me to death!
Have you tried making less money?
Or just become a hedge fund advisor and have all of your income magically treated as capital gains?
Or as a tax-free gratuity!
Start a company and put all your money in it. Then the company loans it back to you. You as blaxabbath is way in the hole, because you’ve invested so much in Blaxabbath Inc. that all you own is a debt to BXI. And BXI. is just barely in the black, since all the earnings it makes is the interest you pay back. It does have a big bank account, though, because all of blaxabbath’s investments ended up there.
Also it owns a boat that you get to use if not otherwise needed for corporate purposes.
No, BXI leases the boat, so it’s an expense and not an asset.
I have.
It doesn’t work when you don’t already own the capital.
That’s a lot of fun for a while, but income really is useful
“Or Supreme Court decisions!” – Harlan Crow