TGIF! When one door closes (Olympics ending) another opens (NFL is back). That’s great scheduling hustle by the sports world. Also, only 60 more days until I can once again Release The Kraken!
Not to brag, but this is my 100th Sexy Friday post! I’m currently accepting applications for apprentices to take over. Please include pics. Also, I love that every week I search for the header footer with “sexy” and the image keeps getting pushed further down the list. Great job, everyone.
Survival – Personal Edition
Let’s remember some Boy Scout stuff. (Girl Scouts should forget their cookie selling tactics and replace those memories with this) We’re going to start a fire without a lighter or matches.
Supplies
- Knife.
- Kindling. AKA small sticks and twigs.
- Wood. No, not more kindling. You need more hearty wood that’s dried out. Look for deadwood on a tree.
- Bow. This is a curved piece of wood and should be about 2 feet long.
- String. This needs to be long enough to attach to both ends of the bow.
- Socket. No, not the piece of tool. This is a bone (not that one dammit) or rock about the size of your palm.
- Lube. Sigh, yes. Whatever you got that’s oily.
- Spindle. This is a stick that’s about 1″ in diameter and between 1 and 2 feet. Round one end and carve the other into a point.
- Board. This is a flat piece of wood about 1″ thick, 3″ wide, and 12″ long. (Settle down D. Favre) In the middle, carve out a bowl .5″ from the edge, then make a V-shaped notch at the edge of the board with the wide side at the edge.
- Leaf/Bark. This should be large enough to fit under the V notch and will be used to catch the embers for your soon to be fire.
- Nest. Grass or leaves or whatever other highly combustible and natural substance you can find and form into a nest shape. Set aside for now.
Start the Fire
[Checks word count] Check in next week for the exciting conclusion of how to use those supplies to start that fire! In the meantime, stay near civilization where this whole tutorial isn’t necessary.
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
[…] you all remember, last week we gathered the supplies to create a fire. Today, we actually use those supplies to start the […]
It would appear Kate Upton (remember her?) is hosting a new show on Hulu.
Just thought that’s worth mentioning.
When you search “Oingo Boingo best tunes” this doesn’t show up off the hop. Really?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teVRZp7K7xU
Found a funny:
I have the legs of a gymnast and the arms of a swimmer. Maybe that’s why I’ve been called in for police questioning.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAd8WyKaWbM
@WCS this one’s dedicated to you my friend.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCcAf78LoX4
Hahahaha. Fuck me. Made some enchiladas for dinner tonite. Had two bites.
Then I somehow had the plate too close to the edge of the table. Had to spend the next half hour changing clothes and cleaning the carpet. So I’m giving up on today and hopefully I can correctly fall on my bed. Then I’ll tackle tomorrow with some more Vodka when I wake up.
That’s a hard situation.
Sorry about the enchiladas.
Condolences.
Condolences.
I hate Traders Joe, but their enchilada sauce is great.
Well, it’s great when eaten, but terrible when it’s on your carpet. But that’s not their problem.
Yea, that was the plan. Instead I’m bereft of food and have to sleep until breakfast.
RIP
I read recently that Tim Walz had a Sega Dreamcast video game system!
I wonder if he remembers what games he liked to play??
That’s Rocking!
Blue Stinger, House of the Dead II, and NASCAR 2000
Happy Friday you beautiful motherfuckers.
I’ve been listening to KROQ here in LA since about 1981 and Nicole, who is awesome and does mid day shift had to explain why she was going to play some new music.
Don’t explain, Nicole.
New music is the reason why I’ve been listening to KROQ for over 40 years.
I really don’t need to listen to Linkin Park again.
Play some new shit.
It was solid music too. I’ll do some research.
No one really needs to listen to Linkin Park ever. At any time, past, present, future, and all multiverses where time is measured differently.
My name is yeah right and I endorse this statement.
I’m not a fan of Linkin Park by any stretch of the imagination, but I did think that Breaking the Habit was pretty good. And the video was great.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H4l9RpkwM
This was one of the first songs I remember them playing.
Forgive the moustache, it’s Sparks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3-6E3h–DA
#8
a woman with green eyes is going to be responsible for my death
That’s a fine bridge collection
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKJO67NszfA
I hate that they’re labelled as a one hit wonder. That second album is so good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32bdevGClD4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2se6zuGtTU
This song came on at Trader Joe’s today!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdE0nHMtuUU
Josh Johnson is still around?!
Not to be confused with John Joshson
John Joshson
Johnsh Joson.
Jimmy Johnson?
Willie Williams
Lady number 8 is doin it for me tonight. Thanks Ayo for a hundred great events.
I’m surprised on the survival tip you didn’t go with the ole cotton balls slathered in vasoline bit… perfect conversation starter for this crowd.
Speaking of vasoline…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hbhOeAeBh0
Since I live in an apartment without aircon, I keep my bedroom window open in the summer. It faces onto the apartment complex parking lot and I am frequently treated to snatches of conversation as people walk by, including this gem heard upon waking from a nap from what sounded like a 8 or 9 year old boy talking to his similarly aged brother or friend:
“i take my two fingers and put them up someone’s ass and it feels good and then I lick them”
I think Balls might have a kid!
Jesus these kids today…
..
Two fingers? That kid’s advanced!
I don’t know how else to put this, but just tell your loved ones that you love them.
If you’re feeling down, don’t be afraid to talk to someone.
We got some bad news here. Its weird and its awkward, especially being fresh meat. Try not let a jorb beat you down; I don’t know if that’s what happened, but it couldn’t have helped.
Now back to your regularly scheduled semi-happy-go-lucky minor royalty hanger-on Yinzer.
I honestly respect you and your fellow workers for what you do. Protect yourself as best as you can Buddy.
Please please please make sure you’re taking care of your mental health. It’s such a hard job that way and lots can’t handle it
“I want you to know something. There are five people in your life, I guarantee that no matter how bad you feel, you could pick up the phone and call them. And they love you so much, that if you told them what was going on, they would show up where you are… with baseball bats. And we would find and beat the shit out of whoever hurt you. Wouldn’t you, for the people you love?” – Christopher Titus
Well, the Steelers’ preseason game certainly didn’t help…
If memory serves, last season the Steelers were unstoppable in the preseason. Logically, the opposite should be true.
Take care of yourself, my Yinzy friend.
Hey, Mr. Ayo – join Spam, Hippo, Scotchy, AND NEWBIES Blax and DonT! Math is Hard keeper auction league. We have 11, you would close the circle at 12 $150 entry fee, I will refund half if you do not enjoy the experience. Think of all the Freezer Vodka!\
I won’t even call yew Bastard Man* no MOAR!!!
*this aspect of offer is a complete lie
Listen here. You assholes already roped me into writing a weekly blog even though I despise writing. Now you’re trying to rope me into a 2nd fantasy league, and pay for it, when I fucking hate fantasy football already.
Anyway, I scored 720 on the math portion of my SAT, so I’m in.
I believe I was the Head Asshole that recruited you for this position and I maintain that it was the right move.
Indeed. I’ll never
forgiveforget that.GUH, you Bastard Man. I only got 690. Was mortified not to hit 700.
But MOAR lazy than mortified, I guess. Since I ain’t re-take the fucker. 1340* was a good 200+ beyond what I needed to get into the only school to which I applied
*650 on verbal was a vast overpeformance.
Prepared to be amazed. My total was 1270 because I suck at English.
But I still got into an Ivy League school! (A real one, now a Brown or Dartmouth)
That’s Unpossible!
Remember, you could always be a worse lawyer.
https://twitter.com/Phil_Lewis_/status/1821700562368315720
Honestly I’m just surprised that it wasn’t one of Trump’s lawyers
at least that poor bastard can get by on the inside with his looks
That’s clearly a Father’s Day tie. The shades and color scheme scream “I don’t know you, much less care”.
I didn’t know Exploding Head Guy from the movie Scanners had a son.
I’m guessing it was some sort of stimulant.
I got a 780. You beat my English score though, I only had 710.
Your puzzle wizardry makes sense now!
My SAT scores were my academic peak. Once those were in the books I coasted like you wouldn’t believe.
Standardized test taking was my predominant skill. Sadly has little in the way of real world utility.
Wow, you’re really great at math!
I got a perfect 80 on the PSAT (they dropped the last digit for some reason). Couldn’t replicate that at the big dance though.
I think my English score was 760. The math was…tragique. I had to take soooo much remedial shit in college, it was horrible. Math is horrible. Fuck math!
I got a N/A on the SATs
6 out of 12 is enough for an overthrow #JustSayin
.
Things will go great if Jalen Hurts gets hurtz.
Kenny Pickett dropped back to pass 23 times in the first half
he only threw the ball more than 10 air yards just 4 times
0-of-4
penny kickett
Uncle Jack will do that.
Do not try Barolo. It does not work, and apparently burns.
Wait, Klint Kubiak is a real thing?
WTF is with these KK names? Also, his middle name is Alexander, so you could call him KAK, which I would.
solid nascar career, take a guess what is his middle initial
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kasey_Kahne
Hah! I met that guy at an Indy race back in the day.
If he’s also ‘the first’ then he’s KAKI
Man. We got all kinds of delayed up to add 4hrs to our “get up and fly home at noon” Friday. But whatever.
I don’t know why people leave Los Angeles. Granted, I didn’t see every neighborhood but, if I could ever skimp together the cash, I’d get a place in Super Nintendo World with no-inspection.
I’m not going anywhere
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvJp2SRyBmw
we are THIS CLOSE to getting a sega dreamcast owner into the white house
https://x.com/jrhennessy/status/1822046462584443369
Yes!
#9 is reading the AFL Beat, right?
LOVE the look on #1 but you can’t deny #6. Good God!
1 and 3, chuh chuh!
I’m sorry. What is imperfect about 2?
Teh Hippo don’t like tattoos?
Nothing
Yeah, I mean no implicit criticism whatsoever. 1 and 3 just float my (shameful) boat a special way.