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TGIF! Lesser footy is back! Time to dig out your Hippo translator for the season. So long, MLB, I’ll see you in the postseason if the 🔱 Ups! (Mariners) make it. I’d check in on them today but the game is on Apple TV+, so hard pass even though Olivia Dunne‘s boyfriend is pitching.
Survival – Personal Edition
As you all remember, last week we gathered the supplies to create a fire. Today, we actually use those supplies to start the fire.
- Take that string and tie it to each end of the stick.
- Kneel on your right knee and firmly place your left foot on the fire board.
- Hold the bow with one hand, and make a loop of the string in the center of the bow.
- Thread the spindle through that loop, pointy side up. The string should be tight. If it’s still loose, make another loop with the string around the spindle. Repeat until the string is tight.
- Grab your hand socket and lube the notch. (Phrasing)
- Position the rounded end of the spindle into the dish of the fire board then place the notch of the hand socket onto the pointy end of the spindle.
- Press down lightly on the socket and move the bow back and forth to slowly spin the spindle.
- Continue adding pressure to the socket and increase the speed on the bow to increase the speed of the spindle. At some point, there will be a wisp of smoke. Continue until there’s a substantial amount of smoke. This means you’ve created an ember!
- Stop moving the bow at this point, and use the pointy end of the spindle to move the ember into the nest.
- Cradle the nest in your hands and begin blowing on the ember. This will cause the nest to ignite.
- Place the nest on the ground and add kindling to the nest. When it catches fire, begin adding larger pieces of fuel until you get the size of fire you desire.
Congrats! You’re now as smart as a caveman! Also, don’t rely on this method to create fire in the wilderness. The supplies and conditions are not predicable enough to rely on. However, this is a good backup plan if everything else goes sideways.
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEiCFqmFTp4
Evidently there isn’t a lot to say.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPUSk7IUVmI
At Costco today they were giving away samples of this, and all I could think of was the movie Heat and Sergeant Drucker telling Charlene:
Sunday Gravy did it!
Rana is a very good brand.
Wow, #7 is like a weird reversal of the Stephanie Seymour wedding dress from that G’nR video.
I may have just missed asignal from Mrs Cola. Fuck.
Mrs Cola:
Ireland is next. Just a few of weeks.
I’m setting up the itinerary for my 2 fellow travelers, TAJ and eldest right.
Tricky part is I booked everything and getting that to synch on their traveling devices has been interesting.
I’m going to give both of them real old school paper to carry around with them with the schedules, the flights and everything.
Because I’m going to be in the motherland and they’re carrying my ass home!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPpGp_J3z2A
Man, that sounds incredible. Happy for you guys and also jealous.
Ireland is on the shortlist. Maybe going will help me understand why I drink (j/k it’s because it’s fun)
What county (or counties) yinz going to?
Kazakhstan and Ireland are the feasible places I’d like to personally see. Antarctica would be fucking sweet.
I know somewhere in Veneto, Italy is on the Duchess’ itinerary for Duke WCS.
Lil’ and Lil’er WCS are simple: Walley World and the wave pool.
He’s going to Limerick to write poetry.
We need 2Pack to jump in here.
And you can never go wrong with a Dok suggestion.
Slovenia is nice and not crazy crowded. Couple hours from nice spots in Croatia, Italy and Austria if you want a fast day trip from that base.
We’ve got 5 days in Dublin and 3 plus in Belfast.
We’re taking the train, Business class of course between the two.
There’s been discussion about a ferry to Scotland for lunch.
And you are correct about countries because I have euros and pounds sterling in reserve.
I’m jealous! We went to Dublin years ago, we loved it. My cousin wants us to live there eventually. We can get citizenship through our grandparents. It’s tempting, for sure.
My great grandmother was a Kennedy.
And if I find a pub with a coat of arms and they can trace that shit back?
It is now Friday night of a three day weekend and I’m present and accounted for.
How the fuck is everybody doing out there?!
On vaca all next week. Going nowhere except seeing Squeeze/Boy George locally on Wednesday.
Probably will work a couple days anyway. Taking a whole week off is a nightmare.
You’re going to have a harder time explaining that in the clubhouse a lot more than you did with the Erasure show.
Hey, Squeeze is awesome. Boy George? Yeah, he’s the opener. Nothing I can do about that.
Also, the Erasure show was fun as hell (where most of the audience will end up!)
Taj is an unapologetic Erasure fan and I only keed.
Love you Orange County
Same to you, and I wasn’t insulted since I have the best music taste ever and no one owns me they don’t they don’t they don’t
A Little Respect?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsTMDeG62V0
Foo Fighters is playing down the street. I can hear them. I could hear them going to the store across the street from the stadium. I feel nothing.
Some model on IG posted a clip of a live performance of “Iris” and that performance was almost older than she is (the song is), and it made me think of listening to that song in 1998 and, guys, nostalgia fucking sucks.
Hey, they are a true rock band, and they’re awesome live. Foos, not Goo Goos.
Hope the sound quality is good!
I should start a janitorial services company called Loo Fighters.
We would also accept ‘poo fighters’ even though it’s less classy
No that’s the plumbing service.
Or “Goo Fighters” if your a furniture cleaning company in Ohio.
Or “Moo Fighters” for a cow-tipping team.
Or “Moo Fighters” if you expand to the cows
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byydlC9H0wM
Or Sue fighters is your son of a bitch dad named you Sue.
It’s funny. She finally whipped ’em out a while back and no one cared.
438db8f3b3148fa380738aeb50be4ec7064f0ba8.jpg
On the other hand, Kate Upton has become hotter as a milf/baseball wife
GWS-Freo underway for those of you looking for something to watch with your nightcap.
Oh goddammit I missed the recording.
Give me that remote!
It’s a good game
Watching Game of Thrones, S6 E9 and E10. The Battle of the Bastards. I might have said this on here before, but when you guys and gals are building your post-apocalyptic castles just remember: build a moat! You don’t even need water or alligators, just a great big ditch will keep the wildings, orcs, zombies, and Wun Wun out.
Jon Snow is a fucking idiot.
Everybody gets stupid in S7 and S8.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFj-3vNYfrk&list=PLFi9V6EFsFIkLmqJ0KrFIdXLdrde1n1mo&index=14
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBfvwRQ3ec4&list=PLFi9V6EFsFIkLmqJ0KrFIdXLdrde1n1mo&index=17
You’re not getting paid enough, Mr. Condiment.
Did somebody say keep on rockin’!
The first lady got me tonight buddy.
Ciao tutti.
I am normally a fan of spiders, but I think one was hiding in my robe yesterday and now I have a spider bite on my boob which is nawt fun
Should I plus one that, or…?
Ouch. Sorry.
Ouch. Sorry Cara. Heal the boob soon.
Once in the field a guy got a tick on his dick. To a man we were greatly uncomfortable as the medic fixed the brother.
It seems to be healing quickly, will be checking all garments in future though
Your supervillain origin story keeps getting weirder.
“So you can shoot webs from your wrists just like Spider-Man? Cool!”
“Uh, not from my wrists….”
More realistic that the wrist thing at least. Is it supposed to be mutated sweat glands or does he have entirely new orifices on his wrists?
And if anyone from the legal team of any pro-spider organization out there asks, that spider was probably radioactive even BEFORE wandering around in any allegedly nuclear powered areas in my home sweet lair
As we all know, the Doktor will use her web shooting spider tit for only good.
Dok’s Spider Tits should be my new FF team name
That reminds me, I found out today that one of our customers is Dok Enterprises. Life is literally trolling me.
SO MIDWEST SPICY OMG!!
This election cycle is full of beautiful ‘wut?’ moments
Also, since when is olive oil a spice?
Yeah, everyone knows it’s technically a lube.
“Ha ha, you mean like for the engine in a car? How absurd, just use motor oil!” – Ben Shapiro, who thinks Astroglide is something astronauts use to get into their space suits.
That isn’t its official origin story?
Well, us white folk know it comes from those swarthy Greeks and Italians
Stolen midwestern white guy valor?
This loser fuck is still living off the alimony his wife pays him.
I got my hawaii surf lesson lined up.
It’s happening. Well, like a week from Monday.
Don’t wear any forbidden idols
This is good advice in general
When you are out there just remember to ask yourself “What Would Nancy Reagan Do” and try to do the opposite. By which I mean try to avoid ending up on your knees and don’t swallow any liquids that end up in your mouth.
He’ll never make it to First Lady with that attitude!
Or President come November
Seriously. She’s about to become the most powerful cocksucker since Alexander the Great?
#s 5, 6, &7 are a Murderers’ Row greater than the OG New York Yankees
4 wins in a row for the DFO Cavalry
Bout fucking time!
Only 4 points out of first!
I haven’t made a camp fire in years. Not having a fire pit is one of the main disadvantages of city apartment living.
I don’t know you’re exact situation but Snoop recommends this: https://www.solostove.com/en-us/p/solo-stove-bonfire?sku=SSBON-2.0
Evening
Oh, Alica. The only good German at the moment.