TGIF! Lesser footy is back! Time to dig out your Hippo translator for the season. So long, MLB, I’ll see you in the postseason if the 🔱 Ups! (Mariners) make it. I’d check in on them today but the game is on Apple TV+, so hard pass even though Olivia Dunne‘s boyfriend is pitching.

Survival – Personal Edition

As you all remember, last week we gathered the supplies to create a fire. Today, we actually use those supplies to start the fire.

• Take that string and tie it to each end of the stick.
• Kneel on your right knee and firmly place your left foot on the fire board.
• Hold the bow with one hand, and make a loop of the string in the center of the bow.
• Thread the spindle through that loop, pointy side up. The string should be tight. If it’s still loose, make another loop with the string around the spindle. Repeat until the string is tight.
• Grab your hand socket and lube the notch. (Phrasing)
• Position the rounded end of the spindle into the dish of the fire board then place the notch of the hand socket onto the pointy end of the spindle.
• Press down lightly on the socket and move the bow back and forth to slowly spin the spindle.
• Continue adding pressure to the socket and increase the speed on the bow to increase the speed of the spindle. At some point, there will be a wisp of smoke. Continue until there’s a substantial amount of smoke. This means you’ve created an ember!
• Stop moving the bow at this point, and use the pointy end of the spindle to move the ember into the nest.
• Cradle the nest in your hands and begin blowing on the ember. This will cause the nest to ignite.
• Place the nest on the ground and add kindling to the nest. When it catches fire, begin adding larger pieces of fuel until you get the size of fire you desire.

Congrats! You’re now as smart as a caveman! Also, don’t rely on this method to create fire in the wilderness. The supplies and conditions are not predicable enough to rely on. However, this is a good backup plan if everything else goes sideways.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!