Sexy Friday – 20240823

TGIF! What a weekend to be alive! JV football is back! F1 is back! Footy is still back! Vuelta a Espana is in full swing! It’s that time of year where you really need to commit to the 2 screen experience.

Survival – Personal Edition

As we ramp up for the football season, some of you will find yourselves at a game. As a result, some of you may find yourself around some over-served and aggressive fans that may take a totally undeserved swing at you. Let’s go over some tips to lessen the impact of that obviously unwarranted assault on your person. This is divided into which part of your person is being targeted.

1. Body
   • Tighten those stomach muscles. There are many vital organs in your solar plexus and a punch here could damage them and cause death. RIP Houdini.
   • Do not suck in your stomach. You’re just reducing the buffer to your organs.
   • Try to shift or turn slightly so that your oblique takes the blow. The oblique is the muscles to each side of your buried six pack. Be aware this could cause a cracked rib, but that’s preferable to damaging internal organs.
2. Head
   • Move toward the punch. This will lessen the force of the blow. The big danger of a head blow is the sudden movement of the brain inside the skull which can cause concussions, brain injuries, or death.
   • Tighten those neck muscles and clench your jaw. This will minimize movement of your head after impact and protect your teeth.
3. Straight Punch
   • Again, move toward the punch to reduce the force.
   • Try to take the blow on your forehead as it’s best suited to absorbing the force. Just make sure it’s not your nose, which is both painful and messy.
   • If possible, use your arm to deflect the punch so it’s either a glancing blow or misses to the side.
4. Roundhouse
   • Clench your jaw. A properly placed roundhouse can break your jaw.
   • Move closer to the attacker. A roundhouse will be less forceful the closer you’re standing to our assailant.
5. Uppercut
   • Clench your neck and jaw. This will keep your head from whipping back and causing damage to your jaw and nose.
   • Use your arm to slow or deflect the uppercut.
   • Unlike other punches, do not step into this one. That’s a one way ticket to floorsville.

Obviously, the first two tips for all should be 1) don’t get swung at and 2) duck/dodge. In any case, get out of the situation immediately in any scenario.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!