Your Saturday NFL Preseason Open Thread

It’s a long wait until September 5th when the real stuff starts. Actually, we’re all old dogs (one of us is rockinng!) so time flies by real fast so I’ve made my own point moot.

I like the idea of coaches handing the duties over to up and coming guys in the preseason. That shit should be obligatory for each team one time. There you go.

To The Games!

Panthers/Buffalo:

I still think the wr room is a mess because Shakur might end up with the most yards and he only got on to the field initially as a gadget guy. Though if you were to listen to Diggs, he would tell you that even if they had an unstoppable superstar at the position they wouldn’t pass to him often enough.

Pitt/Det:

The Steelers best rusher this preseason? Fields, of course. Is he going to be converted into a “Wildcat” sorta player? That would be a great way to get him on to the field but Arthur Smith is stuck in the 50’s so not gonna happen.

Bal/GB:

Which Packer wr are you going to take a flyer on? There’s Wicks, Watson, Melton, Reed, Doubs and oh my! If Marshawn Lloyd is healthy I can see the team dropping AJ Dillon. Remember when old white fantasy ‘experts’ went gaga over the size of his thighs in rookie camp? Good god, that was so cringey.

Minny/Philly:

It’s the Battle of the Preseason Undefeateds. Which team ending in “Y” will emerge victorious?

LA/Hou:

Boston Scott is on the Rams now? He can no longer hurt this Giants fan.

LA/Dal:

Is Trey Lance being groomed (in the good way, not the Jared Subway way) for the starters job in 2025? (Dallas morning sports radio implodes)

NYG/NYJ:

New Jersey’s finest battle it out! I hope it’s a 3-3 tie.

Cle/Sea:

My theory is that because Sam Howell started an entire year for the Commies, even though they had no other viable options, he’s going to be in the league forever just like Colt McCoy. The latter was the starter for 13 games in his second year and just retired in 2022.

Enjoy.

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WCS
WCS

In an actual game that is happening as this text being typed, Hawaii leads Delaware State, 14-7 at halftime in Honolulu.

WCS

28-14 Hawaii, six minutes left

WCS

Between the fatal OD I had to finish this morning’s shift, and the baby being rescued after being inside a locked, parked pickup truck in the 15 minutes ago, been some shit this weekend so far.

It’s definitely the last weekend of summer, yinz folks. Hug your loved ones, and take a moment each day to try to appreciate what you have.

yeah right

Folks we have a real win and get in game tonight in the AFL.

Let’s go Dockers!

This is fucking huge.

litre_cola

Ever since a resto co worker described how he “docked” a gentleman acquaintance the night prior, I can nae take them serioUsly.

Senor Weaselo

Sounds like someone was behind on their Urban Dictionary!

SonOfSpam

Does it not mean withheld pay?

Or maybe he shortened the guy’s tail?

SonOfSpam

Sir, on this site we do not cheer for pants

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ballsofsteelandfury

It’s a gigantic game!

litre_cola

I think we all know it’s time for ZZ Top.

Did I mention I am alone in the basement where I have my booze?

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s ZZ Top at Top Volume Time!

yeah right
Gumbygirl
WCS
2Pack
Mr. Ayo
2Pack

Good morning all. Sunday is my sleep in (until 0500) day. Did I miss anything in my time warp overnight?

WCS

If you went through multiple time warps and ended up here anyway, would you notice?

2Pack

Probably not.

litre_cola

Cavalry have won 5 in a row. Represent.

2Pack

See, my gifted scarf proudly displayed in the home gym has brought them extraordinary powers.

litre_cola

Fucking rolling. 2 pts back from 1st. Full house today. Decilitre was on the drums. I am growing a hoolie.

SonOfSpam

Cool!

/assumes “hoolie” is Canadian for “second penis”

WCS

third

2Pack

Future SIL is now in charge of getting me to a game this season. He’s from Venice so we’re looking for a game here hosting them. I’ll post a boots on the ground when it happens.

litre_cola

Totally get in with the SIL. Best move.

litre_cola

Guess who is drunk in the basement after a yuge futbol win in extra time?

SonOfSpam

A disobedient Lowratio?

litre_cola

Next year.

Then who will be sending shitty Vodka, kd, and a Big Turk?

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ll save WCS the 200 word minimum for his Steelers preview:

This is the year Tomlin’s streak ends.

That’s all you need to know.

litre_cola

They will be so bad.

WCS

I somehow think they go 11-6. IT’LL BE DONE THIS WEEK

/disembodied voice of Ron Howard: “It wasn’t.”

Hey, shut up!

WCS

It’s my first non-based ballz or Olympic weekend at 9-1-1.

THERE ARE SPORTS BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL SPORTS

Mr. Ayo

Another upside down NASCAR!!!

Recovery Whiskey

Anyone else have Cleveland Seattle?

Mr. Ayo

HOX!

Recovery Whiskey

Geno looked amazingly competent. Be calm and let it pass.

Senor Weaselo

So the Parentals Weaselo’s 35th anniversary is coming up this Monday, so in true Weaselo siblings fashion, Hermana Weaselo came up with an idea, like, last year, to a record a song.

Which we started working on a week and a half ago.

And I’m in charge of producing.

I have never produced a track in my life, so this is just called “I’m gonna fuck around with Garageband and let’s see what happens!”

Last edited 2 months ago by Senor Weaselo
WCS
WCS

haldo

Mr. Ayo

hodor

WCS

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LemonJello

Sup?

Horatio Cornblower

UFC has got to be just tickled pink that ESPN is showing the 4th quarter of North Alabama vs. Southeast Missouri State instead of the UFC fight night.

I’m a little miffed myself, but whatever brings Dana White closer to an aneurysm is OK by me.

Horatio Cornblower

My son just called his mother because his car broke down.

Son, you live in Vermont. We live in CT. The time when calling us about things like this is long past.

SonOfSpam

He’d be better off calling WCS.

Wakezilla

Quinceañera update: This got dark real quick. The birthday girl has cancer, was bullied, lost a ton of friends, and I think she may have attempted suicide fairly recently. Holy shit!

Mr. Ayo

At least she’s not a Dolphin fan though.

Unsurprised

At that point an exorcism would be the answer.

Horatio Cornblower

Have you stumbled into a telenovela, by chance?

SonOfSpam

Might help if you tell her she’s as pretty as Peter Griffin.

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Recovery Whiskey

Worst John Hughes reboot ever

Don T

Confirm date-consistent IG posts with scuttlebutt from the single aunts’ table. It’s social science.

ArmedandHammered

So we had to take one of the floofs (our youngest rabbits) to the vet as he was not acting like himself. One emergency surgery, one more year added till I can retire, and removal of a large hairball later and he is home and resting. I will now get stoned and collapse.

SonOfSpam

Yikes, that’s a good bunny dad. Stop serving them hair for dinner.

King Hippo

well, he can hardly feed them hare, that would be twisted smgdh

ArmedandHammered

They shed, oh lawd do they shed, and unlike other animals, rabbits lack the ability to regurgitate, so they can’t do like cats and throw up hairballs.

Gumbygirl

How do you know they have hairballs then, if you aren’t stepping on them at 3 am?

Unsurprised

Is he cuter than this one?

Image 1.jpeg
ArmedandHammered

Close.

Unsurprised

That’s a fine looking bunny

Wakezilla

Currently at a Quinceañera, trying not to yell as the Lions continue to play like shit and just conceded a touchdown. Fuck!

SonOfSpam

You mean “500 feet away from a quinceanera”

Unsurprised

I’m also torn because tomorrow I’m going to have Native American food from a hot popup restaurant.

Unsurprised

I think I’ll try a Cubano or carnitas burger next

LemonJello

Both of those sound amazing.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The pinnacle of Jets/Giants matchups.

https://youtu.be/p0sfbeCbAbU?feature=shared

LemonJello

This doesn’t look like any of the 9/11 footage I’ve seen before.

King Hippo

the Jets make it all the way to the end!

Unsurprised

9/11 is like the Super Bowl Falcons. 3/4 complete, but some goddamn patriots fucked them in the fourth.

SonOfSpam

Wow, FIVE interceptions for Trois Lance today. Nathan Peterman’s suddenly worried about his roster spot.

King Hippo

He should change his name to Cinco

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Trey Lance has more pick-sixes than a New York Lottery drawing on Little St. James

herodotus450

Speaking of New Mexico, I still haven’t forgiven ya’ll for ditching last years DFO con in Las Vegas
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Las_Vegas,_New_Mexico

I had to buy Navajo fentanyl all by myself!

Mr. Ayo

Sorry, we didn’t take that left at Albuquerque.

yeah right

But I was in Vegas with Dok and Litre and Spam and Rev and Armed and Hammered and our consigliere DonT and Blax and did you get the wrong date?

Because I will have a harsh talking to with my office admin for fucking up the scheduling.

yeah right

Oh shit and Brick was there too.

We had an amazing steak dinner at the top of Binions me and Brick.

ArmedandHammered

Brick going to be able to rejoin us anytime soon?

yeah right

He’s fine he’s got a project.

Unsurprised

Holy shit.

Sounds even more awesome than that L.A. bar crawl. And I loathe Vegas.

ArmedandHammered

It was a great time, especially since we were in old Vegas.

Don T

Those Asian blackjack ladies were merciless. I can still hear them in my nightmares
FIVE EIGHT THIRTEEN SIXTEEN TWENTY ONE

litre_cola

She wanted me to perish on Monday.

litre_cola

Oh I was wasted in Vegas with you folk for 3 days. Eagles beat Cowboys. Nice.

Go Birds.

Last edited 2 months ago by litre_cola
yeah right

But you almost had the Jalen Hurts Touchdown thing.

Unsurprised

Las Vegas NM sucks more than you can get just reading Wikipedia

LemonJello

Wichita?

yeah right

Santa Fe for sure.

Oddly enough Reno might be the most redneck of every city you mentioned.

Lovely part of the country though.

yeah right

I’ve actually got Santa Fe as a fallback retirement community.

It’s mighty dry and mighty high. You’ll get some snow too.

King Hippo

All my chilluns is currently Out West, and if they stay perhaps I will look into this. Cats would be angry with me, though.

LemonJello

We’re looking for a lake house in the Carolinas, when we can retire.

King Hippo

Y’all must be MOAR bug-resistant than my WASP ass.

LemonJello

We’ve lived at Camp Lejeune, Cherry Point and the Outer Banks, and just really like North Cakalacky. Orange- and LimeJello are both living/working in Raleigh, so it just makes sense to us.

King Hippo

If you survived in the Camp Lejeune area, you’ll make it anywhere!

ArmedandHammered

That is our other option, maybe in the Cashiers region. Plus it is close to my home town.

Unsurprised

If you wait a little longer, the ocean will come to you.

Gumbygirl

My 16 year old cat has lived in the following places:

1. Birmingham AL
2. Orlando FL
3. Birmingham
4. Birmingham ( different house)
5. Bozeman MT
6. Corona CA
7. Big Bear Lake
8. Desert Hot Springs

Cat’s are both portable AND adaptable. Roam where you want to!

King Hippo

You’ve lived in some pretty KEWL places. And also Orlando.

(Hippo still has PTSD re how long it took Kruger to stop pissing on things after we moved across town)

Gumbygirl

We were only trapped in Florida for a year. That was more than enough. It was the year after our son died, so no place was going to be good. We did have a nice pool in our yard there.

King Hippo

Pacific Coast Trail ftw

Unsurprised

There’s plenty of that in New Mexico.

King Hippo

Yachats, Oregon is heaven on earth (on Pacific coast), Corvallis is probably the mid-range city closest to it (and I have heard good things about it, too)

Unsurprised

Cheap too. Some FOF have a giant house in Albany (the abutting town to the east) that was like $600k

King Hippo

Another rec – Boise, ID

yeah right

Moline Illinois.

Now just wait a second.

Hear me out.

King Hippo

ah mean, gots to be warmer than The Canadia??

ArmedandHammered

Richmond, VA and Walla Walla WA. We are thinking Walla Walla ourselves for the wine and pace of life.

Unsurprised

Just an FYI: Eastern Washington isn’t just MAGA country. It’s Bundy wackos MAGA country.

Unsurprised

It snows in Santa Fe. That’s why there’s skiing there. But everyone still goes to Taos.

Unsurprised

Santa Fe also has a great amphitheater as one of its arty highlights.

King Hippo

Ayobananas???

Mr. Ayo

NEVER A DOUBT!

blaxabbath

What happened to old D.K. [Inouye] Metcalf?

WHOOP!

King Hippo

Literally, every single deep ball is a Fightin’ Ayos DPI

Mr. Ayo

NAWT FAHR! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

Mr. Ayo

FUCK AND YES! GO CATS!

WCS
King Hippo

Is New Mexico or New Mexico State MOAR Team Walt? Teh ppl demand an answer.

blaxabbath

I ran a track event at UNM once in high school. Place seemed neat and I understand why no one came out of there at the time but some blood-doping Sudanese.

King Hippo

My oldest spawn is doing a doctorate vocal performance year at UNM right now! She ain’t the runner of the three, though.

The dry air is good for the sinuses, is the first impression I have heard.

blaxabbath

If you like nose bleeds.

Senor Weaselo

How’s their DMA strings program? Asking for a friend. Your friend.

(I’m your friend.)

King Hippo

I shall ask!

Unsurprised

That’s awesome.

Unsurprised

UNM is in Albuquerque. Albuquerque is totally in on the Breaking Bad grift. The guy who was Hank’s partner is a state politician because of it.

King Hippo

GOMEY!!!!

Senor Weaselo

Good evening degenerates, I open with the best presidential sign I’ve ever seen:
“Presidents are temporary, Wu-Tang is forever.”

Mr. Ayo

TWO fumble return TDs? Appears the boys joined me for breakfast freezer vodka!

King Hippo

Have you told them to DUE BETTER. Because you should.

Mr. Ayo

THEY LISTENED!

blaxabbath

You know, one of my favorite things about daniel k inouye airport is the garden section outside the terminal. I’ve never been to another place that had something like this after security.

I did fly out of Sante Fe once and you could hang out on the deck looking at the planes. But that place is a SOFT fucking target.

1000012111.jpg
Unsurprised

The red chile side here was better than the burger. I’m trying to decide whether to tough it out and hit another spot now or wait until 6ish

yeah right

Get back in their Soldier!

You’ve got work to do!

Unsurprised

That last comment section was a gas.

I’m sorry that UNM sucks and always has. It really shouldn’t be 1-A, but it’s the flagship school of the state and all.

yeah right

Brother TAJ just picked up an insanely good meal of carnitas, fresh made directly in front of him corn tortillas with red and green salsas, rice and beans and pickled onion, jalapeños and carrot and he got them in a big community gathering in Wilmington, Pedro’s next door neighbor.

A lot of folks, meaning white folks, are afraid of going to Wilmington and even Pedro if we’re being honest, because of the racial makeup of the neighborhood.

If you treat everyone with dignity, respect and kindness you’re welcome anywhere and they treat you like family.

Broaden your horizons folks.

Just don’t be a “Gringo” is what I’m saying.

Dunstan

Any word yet on whether electing Kamala Harris will result in a taco truck on every corner? I always thought that was Hillary’s best policy proposal.

yeah right

We’ve got pretty close to that right here.

There are TWO al pastor places that carve their shit right off the tropo and make their own salsas.

Hell yes, Kamala!

blaxabbath

Kamala delivering my personal fave to every corner — Ethiopian Restaurants.

yeah right

Damn I love Ethiopian food.

Have to drive to Fairfax to get that though.

blaxabbath

Not after KACKLIN KAMALA gives your street to African pirates.

Dunstan

It’s a little embarrassing but I live not far from there and haven’t been.

Senor Weaselo

Queens already has FIVE halal carts on the same corner by me!

yeah right

NOTHING wrong with that.

Dunstan

Manhattan would have gotten them, but the plans for the Ground Zero Mosque were thwarted by Sarah Palin.

blaxabbath

White people are their own culture. Pedro knows to keep out of the Twin Pines Gated Community and Shandra knows the best Mexican* means “this side of the tracks”.

Don’t force these people together.

Unsurprised

Oilman. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Horatio Cornblower

Boy would I love this to dispute this indisputable fact.

Last edited 2 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
WCS

YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

2Pack

https://youtu.be/BHwzq3xtMOg?si=CYKmvkQ99FqROTLO

There’s somebody here for Balls…