MORE FOOTBALL? Your Next Open Thread

Halfway through the season I’d turn my nose up at these offerings but hopeful me is just going to ride the waves.

To The Games!

Raiders/Chargers:

Did Minshew win the job or did O’Connell lose it, letting it slip right through his hands? The latter for sure. No worries though, the starter is less than cromulent so we’ll be seeing both through the season and it won’t matter to anyone other than Davante. We know Pierce wants to play 80’s style ‘Grind and D’ so for that reason I think Zamir White has a ton of unrealized fantasy value.

Broncos/Seahawks:

At least Nix has a bit of history on his side in that he’s the only other Denver rookie qb to play in a season opener aside from Elway. Seattle’s OC Ryan Grubb is the latest offensive hot commodity and we’ll see what he’s capable of with Geno and that stacked wr room.

Cowboys/Rams:

That high-powered Dallas offense may not hit the ground running given that they’re playing that nasty Cleveland D in their own back yard. One tends to forget about Amari Cooper but he’s the very first Browns wr to record back-to-back 1,000 receiving seasons. Is Watson ever going to show his Houston credentials?

Commies/Bucs:

I don’t know, Washington-Dan Quinn and Kliff Kingsbury? They seem like retreads to me but once you’re in the club it’s almost impossible to be kicked out if you don’t want to go. So much hinges on Jayden Daniels’ arm and fleet feet. McLaurin will give him all the help he can, being one of only six players to have 900+ yards in each of his first five seasons. Speaking of, Mike Evans just keeps rolling along.

Get out there and type.

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clint greasewood

These AFC west games are putting me to sleep, Denver vs Seattle, Oakland vs San Diego snooze fest.

fleshwound_NPG

you get an injured TE! and you get an injured TE!

Dunstan

Fights on the field? That’s Rikki’s Raiders!

Mr. Ayo

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

fleshwound_NPG

announcer 1: there’s a fight on the field involving the raiders! it has now spilled into the stands!

announcer 2: no, that fight has been going on since the 2nd quarter

Doktor Zymm

It’s fun to say Charbonnet

Dunstan

I prefer Sauvignon Blanc

Doktor Zymm

I feel like Charbonnet should be a variety of mushroom that goes well with Sauv Blanc when sauteed in butter

Unsurprised

Seahawks found their balls while I was out

Beerguyrob

Well, some balls.

Unsurprised

I love how NFL games are indistinguishable from Madden

Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!! !

Doktor Zymm

Daniels!

Mr. Ayo

IN. COM. PLETE!

yeah right

I never eat ice cream, it’s been years but I did have the foresight to buy a pint of Ben and Jerry’s pistachio pistachio at the store today.

Where’s my spoon?

Doktor Zymm

Ice cream is so good, and pistachio is a quality flavor. Enjoy!

Gumbygirl

Wow, I can’t remember the last time I had pistachio ice cream!

Redshirt

Screw it, we already play Special Teams vs. Special Teams. Play Offense vs. Offense and Defense vs. Defense!

fleshwound_NPG

atlanta sports this afternoon:

-falcons lose to a stillers team that does not score a single touchdown
-womens roundball falcons blow (multiple!) leads, lose in OT

(dirtball falcons did win, but against a canadian dirtball team, meaning after including the exchange rate, it was only 0.86 of a win)

Unsurprised

Dirtball is a game, not a sport.

yeah right

Brats and potato salad were fucking awesome, beers are flowing, TAJ and I both got blowout wins.

It’s been a good day.

It would be better if it wasn’t 93 fucking degrees outside. On the harbor!

The fuck man?

Doktor Zymm

The Saints D got me 20 points in my money league!

Unsurprised

93 is good.

King Hippo

Hippo be writin’ now. This slate is buttttttttt.

LOVED how Fatty Payton was pissy with the sideline reporter for hinting that maybe Nix didn’t look awesome.

ballsofsteelandfury

I agree!! It’s great!!

Mr. Ayo

Make sure to put in a good word for HOX!!!!

Doktor Zymm

I have been craving some Hippo Thoughts since Thursday

Gumbygirl

When my intetnet went out last night, DFO went to posts from a year ago. One of them was Hippo thoughts from the first week of the season. I was tingling in antici…………………….pation!

Doktor Zymm

The Browns sold their soul and just got worse, lol

Mr. Ayo
Spur

and the Factory is Open for Business.

Mr. Ayo

The Crosby’s!

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Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!

Beerguyrob

All we need now is a rouge.

Gumbygirl

Why can’t we have nice things?

Doktor Zymm

Actually really like Jayden Daniels so far, he’s being smart with his runs, not taking hits, getting passes off quickly when possible, making the most of what’s around him without martyring himself

yeah right

That’s my fantasy QB in the Lowratio league so, yay!

Gatoraids

now only which department of the Commies will ruin him, maybe the Catering Staff will strike this time

Doktor Zymm

I’m thinking they’ll get funding for a new stadium and then the next day the plumbing in FedEx will cause an outbreak of amoebic dysentery

Beerguyrob

The halftime show was the “Whoop there it is guys” playing that one beat for eight minutes.

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Gumbygirl

When we had Jaguars season tickets, halftime was usually either fat women doing Jazzercise or frisbee dogs. I would have been happy with the whoop guys.

Redshirt

Boo! Try it from 71!

Mr. Ayo

Captain Bluebunny giving away 3 points at the end of the half? ColoUr me shocked!

Doktor Zymm

the most surprising bit is that it’s only 3

Unsurprised

I hate that droning voice of Brady’s. If I hadn’t seen his juiced ass I would assume he was a fucking straight out of an 80s teen sex comedy movie nerd.

Doktor Zymm

He’s just totally lacking in charisma, super stiff when he speaks

King Hippo

MADE 66-yard FG, off the board via BLEERGH

WCS

Mike fucking McCarthy

WCS

Fuck off, you tool

Doktor Zymm

My not particularly bold predictions that Bryce Young and Rapey Watson would continue to be awful is coming true, much like my prediction that there would be continued turmoil in the Middle East!

Gumbygirl

Lol, Brownies.

Mr. Ayo

Couldn’t happen to a nicer person

Unsurprised

Counterpoint: Dallas deserves nothing good

Doktor Zymm

True, but the meteorite never seems to make an appearance

Mr. Ayo

Tough, but fair

WCS

Not sure if Lesser Harbs is aware Maxxxxxxx Crosby is a real, actual person.

Beerguyrob

What the NFL record for safeties in a half? I might see it.

King Hippo

Nix YPA – 2.1

Mr. Ayo

That’s seems high.

Redshirt

Safety Dance III: The Search for WOO?

Mr. Ayo

Lowratio having himself a day!

Horatio Cornblower

I feel like Olivia dealing with an Eli sugar high.

Unsurprised

You have to take it out of reverse to go forward!

ballsofsteelandfury

Um, at this rate, the Steelers are going to be in sole possession of first place in the AFC North.

WTF?!?

WCS

HAIL CHAOS

Horatio Cornblower

Dak Prescott is going to be a Cowboy for life after signing his new contract. Daniel Jones is going to be a Giant for life, but mostly because his offensive line is going to get him killed before he sees 28.

Mr. Ayo

He still has an injury guarantee for next year. LOL

Unsurprised

Canned ham keeps for ages

WCS

I find it a little weird a Weezer song from 2001 is being featured on ads for a FOX drama.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, that’s too new for CBS’s target audience.

Unsurprised

Color is too new for their audience

fleshwound_NPG

television is too new for their audience

Gumbygirl

They’re listening on the wireless.

Unsurprised

Sorry I meant “coloreds”

King Hippo

Charmslinger would have been crucified for any one of the seven fucktarded things Nix has done so far.

Still. Two safeties in one HALF. That’s perfection.

Mr. Ayo

Three is possible! FUCK ME!

King Hippo

I could have sworn Geno was gonna sneak it on 3rd just to avoid that

King Hippo

SeaTruther defense is being very considerate of Nix’s fee-fees

Mr. Ayo

Ridiculous. I hate this game.

Mr. Ayo
King Hippo

6 off Geno
4 off OL
0 by Nix

King Hippo

and lookit suave Bastard Man, Mina Kimes all sliding into his DMs…

Mr. Ayo

I thought we were done with this bullshit.

https://twitter.com/bykevinclark/status/1194116141280460800

King Hippo

I have barely noticed #ThePauls’ game, but when I do, the Cowpersons are beating the tar shit out of TheShaun. Which is nice.

Horatio Cornblower

The Cowboys should line Parsons up at cornerback, just for the hell of it.

Not like they can pay him next year anyway.

Doktor Zymm

I had no idea Denver was SO SAFETY

Unsurprised

Hence all the orange

King Hippo

HURR DURR BIG WOKE SAFE SPACE HOW COME THEY CAN SAY IT IN THEIR HIPPITY HOP

Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

/Looks around

How the hell did he get out?

Mr. Ayo

I mean, “Free” is right there in Free Range, champ.

Doktor Zymm

THIS WASHINGTON DEFENSE I CALL THEM THE TROLLEY PROBLEM BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO IT WILL END POORLY

King Hippo

Safety Two – DonksWOO Boogaloo???

Mr. Ayo

God DAMMIT!

Mr. Ayo

This is fucking bullshit

King Hippo

I apparently have enough lifetime dosage of opium to SEE TEH FUTURE

Doktor Zymm

Neat!

King Hippo

my life has purpose again!

(settle down JD, I ain’t say “porpoise”)

Mr. Ayo

Nix is just begging to throw another INT.

Make it a pick 6 loser.

Horatio Cornblower

Color guy saying “give it to the big fella” and then production immediately throwing to a shot of Mike McCarthy just seems mean.

LemonJello

Was the drive presented by Blue Bunny Ice Cream?

blaxabbath

Dak can wear that Walter Payton patch all he wants but he’ll never measure up to Sweetness’s one Super Bowl ring.

rockingdog

Minchew YIKES dude!
Hahahaha!!!
That’s nawttttt rockinggg

WCS

But it was funny.

Doktor Zymm

Wow, I didn’t even think about the Washington kicker. He is poor at his job it seems.

Also, Jayden, FASTEN YOUR HELMET SECURELY DAMMIT

blaxabbath

I left USAA when they went back to advertising on FoxNews after the insurrection.

This is why I get to carry such a big chip on my shoulder.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, so, no reason, but are we gonna restart the Eliminator Challenge next week?

Fucking Bengals.

Doktor Zymm

I picked New Orleans, did I just win?

Horatio Cornblower

You’re certainly in good shape to do so.

Mr. Ayo

So glad I didn’t pick them in any of my suicide leagues.

Redshirt

You knew who they were! This is on you!

The Maestro

Wow. Geno Smith. Mobile quarterback. I remember the days when the only thing mobile on him was his jawbone.